“, she’s going to be pissed!” he said to himself as he climbed the stairs hurrying to get to the apartment you both shared.

It was 2 in the morning and he had just gotten off of work. Being the leader of a Kpop group was difficult in making times for other things that didn’t have to do with BAP, mostly meaning you. That proposed coming home late at night because of rehearsals and/or meetings. Arguments would always be fought over the fact of him spending too much time at work and not enough time at home. Even though you were very understanding and more than supportive, you didn’t want to end up being something that gets pushed to the end of the line of the important things that he has in his life, because then you would start to think…

  ‘What would be the point?’

He was worn out and tired. His ankles swollen from the repeated dance steps he had to practice and learn in a minimum amount of time, along with his head slightly throbbing which made him feel a little dizzy, hoping to keep his cool so you wouldn't ask questions to end up finding out. Tripping and stumbling, he finally reached the door and fumbled with his keys to unlock it. He knew you would already be angry as it is, so he couldn’t waste any more seconds from the argument that was about to happen. He swung the door open quickly, releasing his blistered feet from his shoes. In two quick motions he closed the door, locked it and as he turned around you appeared. He could make out your figure, and he didn’t need to see your face to know the expression of disappointment and irritation. He stared at you for a moment, and then started taking off his layered clothes making his way to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry…” he said as he passed you. You the kitchen light that was next to you,

“Yongguk, stop.” You grabbed his wrist before he got to the bedroom door.

 ‘Here we go’ he thought to himself. He turned around to face you; your back still faced the other direction.

“____, not tonight…” He said releasing a sigh. You turned around to look at him, still holding his wrist.

“You’re…You’re late again…” You looked sleepy and drowsy, you tried to stay up and wait for him but was tired yourself from all the work you put into at your own job.   

“I know… I’m sorry.” He couldn’t think of anything else to say from the sleep that was beginning to take him over. He tired to push your hand off to return to taking off his clothes and head to bed but you wouldn’t budge. If anything your grip got tighter.

“I’m done waiting for you Yongguk. You’re too invested with what you have at work to even remember who is up late at night being patient in waiting for you, I might sound selfish… but baby… You know I support you, though this is getting to become repetitive.”

“_____, I know you are. I rush home. I think about you throughout the day and I always feel bad for the sudden late rehearsals. Just be understanding, Kay?” as he said this, he tried to pull away turning his back to you but you still resisted holding firmly.

“Yongguk…Are you not seeing this… we never get time for each other anymore! It’s like I’m just here…  I don’t even want to be considered as a “Priority” although it seems as though you have to try to be with me… A-Are you cheating on me…? Are y-you seeing anybody else?” What you asked made him look at you with confusion…

“Why do you ask that?”

“T-There has to be another reason to why yo--.”

“______, I am a part of a group, I am the leader. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT!?” His voice was gaining strength, and on top of how deep it was, it made you jump at the fact that he basically screamed this at you, he regained his composure. “I am not cheating on you, _____.” All he wanted to do was sleep, y’all could argue in the morning if it was necessary, he was too tired to do it tonight. “Are we done here?” he looked at you for a second before you pulled his wrist towards you and wrapped your arms around his neck. He loosened up and wrapped his arms around your waist… You rested your face in between the crook of his neck, inhaling his sent… You noticed something.

“Yongguk… Why do you smell like alcohol…?”

His grip on your waist lost its hold.

You separated yourself away from him a little so you both could be face to face. You saw the guilty look that he had as you asked again.

“I said… Why do you smell like alcohol!?”

He still didn’t answer only staring at you looking dumbfounded.

“ANSWER ME!” you lost it. You were tired of the he was pulling, always blaming it on TS Entertainment when plainly that wasn’t the only reason for why he spends less time at home. At the sudden shock of the outburst of your voice, Yongguk responded back with the same tone.

“WHY DO YOU THINK ____!?” he pushed you away from him, you only stared at him with an angry look in your eyes.

“WHAT?! IS THIS WHAT YOU ARE DOING AT REHEARSALS OR MEETTINGS? HUH! YOU ARE OUT THERE DRINKING UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED ENOUGH TO COME HOME AND BE WITH ME! I FEEL LIKE I AM WAISTING TIME ON SOMEONE WHO WASTES HIS TIME ON GETTING WASTED! WHY WERE YOU DRINKING!? HUH!? TELL ME!”

Before you knew it, you felt a hard sting smack across your face, forcing you to hit the ground, catching yourself with the base of your palms.

Yongguk stared in shock at what he had done… His mouth caped open and his hand remained in the position after he hit you. You finally looked up at him; looking him straight in the eyes. It became foggy as tears began to produce, but you tried your best to keep them down. 

“_-_____, I-I’m…”

He couldn’t get his apology out, but you didn’t need one. You knew that someday, things would become this way, and when it did, it would be time to move on for there was no hope in trying when the other person didn’t have any motivation to, although you never thought he would actually lay his hands on you in this way. You got up, too quickly, only resulting in you swaying back and forth in dizziness. Yongguk’s instinct was to grab your shoulders to keep you steady, but you slapped them off.

 “Don’t touch me”. He flinched back at your words and tears swelled his eyes. You approached your bedroom; cupping the place he hit you with your hand. You went to your closet and grabbed the biggest bag that you could find. You quickly began stuffing clothes into it not minding to fold them. Yongguk stayed frozen in his position, still replaying what he had done. He slapped you. He hit you. He hit something that was precious to him and that meant everything to him. He hit someone that he loved. That he loved purely and genuinely.

He walked to the door frame of the bedroom watching you throw clothes and other essentials into the already over stuffed bag. Once you had everything in place you zipped it up and threw it over your shoulder and stood facing him, you saw the sorrowfulness expression his face created.

 Your heart was squeezing with pain; you didn’t want to leave him… But you were already convinced that it would be best. “I’ll come back and get the rest later… I’m sorry.” You said those words quietly, trying to control yourself from having tears run down your face and began to walk out.

“____, Please… You can’t leave me…” He blocked your way through the door with his body.  “I’m so sorry that I hit you… I am so sorry baby… Please don’t leave me… Please…”  Quickly he grabbed your waist and shoved you against him. His arms were sealed tight around your waist so you couldn’t even budge to get out of the hold he had you in.

“Let go of me Yongguk… Now.” You had to resist. “You know this will be best for the both of us… You can focus on the things that matter most now, I won’t get in the way…” You whispered in his ear. He responded by shaking his head, you felt his tears slide down your shoulder.

“You are what matters most baby… I need you with me… I need you. Please, you know you need me too. We need each other; I’m not letting you walk out of this apartment…”

You slightly tried to push him off of you to have him release his grip around your body, but as you did his lips pushed down on yours. He began kissing you violently; within each breath you heard him whisper “stay with me…” His kisses were a way to calm you down, and he knew it. You wanted to push him away and slap him in the face, for remembering the fact of him drinking from the taste of his mouth. But you gave in, kissing him back the same way. He took the bag off of your shoulder, still having his lips on yours and dropped it to the ground, kicking it to the side. Your arms casually wrapped around his neck and he pushed your body closer into him. “I’ll stay… I’ll stay…” you replied as he left your lips and made his way to your neck. He stopped his trail of kisses and pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you ____, I love you so much, I'm so sorry... we will make this work…”