It was a cold, sad and bleak time for her. During the days of this month, she would stay cooped up, hidden away in the dark corners of her room, praying for the days to pass quickly. No one could blame her. At least anyone that knew her story. When couples would be exchanging chocolates and gifts, and spending Valentines days together fondly, she would be in her room staring out the window, a mixture of jealousy and sadness in her eyes. She could still remember the day he left. Just gone and disappeared out of her life. It was like he had never even existed. The feelings that accompanied that day were still fresh in her heart. Agony. Pain. Suffering.

* Flashback*

“Taemin!” She called out, as she waved from the other side of the crowd. A tall, light haired, handsome guy answered her greeting with a warm smile. They reached each other and were soon locked in a tight embrace.

“I missed you” Taemin said, as he rested his chin gently on her head and breathed in her scent. Warm, and sweet, and smelling like shampoo. They proceeded to hold hands and walk down the street to the park where they could spend time alone.

Those were the good days, and like everything else; it didn’t last.

Her POV

Taemin, I had loved him so much. No, we loved each other so much. It had felt like nothing could break us apart. Except for us. We were childish. We had the same train of thought. We often fought. But still I cared about him more than anything else in the world. He was everything I had, needed, and could ever hope for. That day, that damned day, Valentines Day, we fought. It was silly really, it had been over nothing, but it had gotten out of hand. Before I knew it, I was out in the middle of the street, sobbing and screaming awful things at him. I didn’t see the truck coming. But he did. And he was the one who paid the price. Not me. He pushed me out of the way. He took the hit for me. I could describe what he did that day in a million ways but it doesn’t change the fact. He gave up his life for me. And the thing that’s hurts the most is that I would’ve rather died with him that day. The days after that were living hell. Everywhere I went, the rumors followed.

I heard Taemin died because he was fighting with her.

What a ! She didn’t even deserve him.

That’s not what I heard. I heard she accused him of cheating on her and pushed him in front of the car.

Oh? So he died because of her then.

Even worse than the rumors was the overwhelming lack of warmth in my life after that. The coldness of reality, the void left in my heart engulfed my entire being and isolated me from those that I loved. I became a different person than who I originally was, from happy and blissful, to miserable, withdrawn, and desolated. I would fill days alone in my room dreaming up things I could’ve done, should’ve done. Should’ve treasured him better. Could’ve admitted that I was wrong, make up, spend the day together like every other couple. I would squeeze my eyes shut and dream of the future, me in a white dress, a happy beautiful bride. And the saddest thing was; I would see you next to me. But that will never happen. I should’ve died that day. Not you. My mother used to tell me when we meet someone we learn to love; it is the start of a long and painful goodbye. I didn’t understand what it had meant but I do now. She told me in life there is only one miracle. That miracle is love. What a fool I was to have not believed it. What a fool I was to have not treasured it, cared for it. I had what many people would’ve died for, but instead, because of my foolishness, it ironically died for me.  

I sat. My thoughts torturing me. Every breath was so unwanted. I wanted to end it all. Why go on living with no purpose but to feel pain? My eyes wander around the room. Everything in it reminded me of him. And then... and then what happened was so peculiar. It had been months since anything had even managed to spark interest from me. But all of a sudden, the little scissor on the desk seemed so tantilizing. I sat in silence, observing it. It was like any other scissor really. A pair of long, razor edged blades attached to a smooth plastic body. Fascinated, I crawl forward and took it in my hands, relishing the sharpness of the inner blade. My hands unconsciously bring it to my wrist. I was frightened by the thoughts that suddenly rushed into my brain and the images that accompanied it. I couldn't help but think of how beautiful the blood would be against my skin and how painless it would be after it was over. Excruiciating pain in exchange for eternal numbness? To me, it was a deal from the gods and with trembling fingers I increased the pressure on the blade and watched, even more fascinated as the blade threatened to break through my skin and tear through the vein running dangerously below. I was interrupted from my thoughts when I felt a breeze brush against my skin lightly. My head lifted from my curled up position and looked to see where the draft was coming from. The door was closed; as were the windows. And all of a sudden I feel warm fingers clutch mine and soft lips press against my forehead gently. It was him. He was an invisible existence to me but I knew he was there and I could hear what he was trying to tell me.

You can’t see me, you can’t hear me, but I will always be here for you. I will stay by your side so don’t be lonely, don’t be sad. Don’t cry. We will meet again, maybe not in this life but definitely the next because I will find you. No matter how long it takes, I will find you. So please, don’t cry anymore. I love you.

Tears were slipping down my cheeks. They were tears of sadness, regret, loneliness, yet at the same time an overwhelming happiness. Even dead he was saving me. How could I have failed to protect something so precious? The scissors fell from my hand and hit the ground with a cling. “I thought you would hate me.” I heard myself say. I could almost hear him sigh and see him roll his eyes, and the ghost fingers on my hands squeeze ever so gently. The next thing I know I am saying the words I never got to say.

Goodbye Taemin. I love you.

I feel one last squeeze and all of a sudden he’s gone; strange thing was, I didn’t cry, I smiled. “Taemin-ah,” I thought, “Let’s meet again.”

OMG how was it??? Did you cry? ;) Sorry for being an evil person and killing Taemin. Please comment and suscribe! Comments and suscribers mean the world to me. They're like candies and unicorns XD Please silent readers! Just one short comment after you've finished reading! Thank you for taking the time to read!~

-Mint <3