▶Abandoned, Yet Again

---

My name is Byun Yumi, and this is my story. 

It all began when I was 5-years-old. 

It was the first time I had experienced it...the first time that I experienced abandonment.

I knew it existed and I knew people suffered from it, but I just never expected it to happen to me.

It was just a typical night. My mother was waiting in the living room by the fire, waiting for my father to come back from work. My brother and I were sitting on a couch nearby, doing the same. I stared at my mother's rocking chair. It rocked back and forth, back and forth, and continued to do so late into the night. Still, we waited. When the door finally opened, my mother jolted up from her chair and immediately confronted him. 

"Where were you?" she asked angrily, placing her fists on the either sides of her waist.

"Let's get a divorce."

"What?"

"Me and you. Let's end this." 

She stared at him, wide-eyed. No one budged and it felt like hours before the silence was broken.

"Are you hungry? Should I heat up some food for you? You haven't ate, right? Does porridge sound all right? I'll be right back," she said, quickly heading towards the kitchen. Father grabbed her arm. 

"Jaehee."

"If you want something else, I'll make it. It'll work out! IT WILL WORK!" she shouted, flinging her arms at him.

I watched as my mother hit my father with her bare hands, tears flowing down her face. My brother squeezed my hand and I held on tightly. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run into my room and cry, but I couldn't. I couldn't do either. My eyes were dry, my feet stayed put, and I just watched. 

My mother fell onto the ground, exhausted and broken down. She sat there and sobbed for what seemed like an eternity. She sobbed for the end of her marriage and the beginning of her journey into a living hell. 

 

---

 

"Mom, where are we?" I asked. 

"Our new home!" she said excitedly. 

I observed the area. It was dark, dirty, and smelly. There was no house in sight. I turned to my brother in confusion and he lowered his head. I remembered he told me something about us not having enough money and something else about hobos. We were born on the same day, yet he was so much smarter. My mother had always favored him and I had understood why. He was always the one she put on her lap, he was always the one that got smothered with kisses, and he always had the privilege to hold her hand for no reason. 

And I, I had dad, but I guess I wasn't good enough. He left me...he left us, and it was all my fault. I was a bad daughter. That's why he didn't like me anymore. He didn't even say goodbye. 

We quickly assembled our new home near the end of the alleyway. My brother found some broken umbrellas and we used that to build our roof. 

"Look at that man over there! He has a tent. Why don't we have a tent, mom?" I questioned, pointing to a large blue tent a few feet away from us. 

"We just don't. Now stop being annoying and go help Baekhyun find more stuff," she answered while shooing me away. 

I ran past the tent towards my brother and on my way, the man smiled at me. Smiles are suppose to be friendly and comforting, but his wasn't. It was the complete opposite. 

 

---

 

"Mom, I'm hungry!" I whined, hugging my empty stomach. My ribs were sticking out now, and so were my brother's. It had been days since we ate and we all felt extremely weak. It was pouring outside and the raindrops were leaking through into our house. 

"Hey!" a voice shouted from outside. We all peeked our head out and saw the man in the tent waving a loaf of bread at us. "Sorry for eavesdropping, but I think I can help you guys out." 

My mouth watered at the sight of food. Although I could see the green specks growing on it, it looked like the most scrumptious thing in the world. At this very moment, we all were willing to do anything for food. Anything.

My mother ran over to him and bowed repeatedly.

"Thank you so much! Thank you! Thank you!"

She reached out and grabbed the bread, but he held on. 

"Why don't you come inside here for awhile? You're soaking and it's warm in here." 

Mother looked back at us, her eyes filled with fear and desperation.

"Don't worry," he said, smirking. "The kids won't miss you one bit."

It continued like that every week. 

Every week, the man in the tent would call for her. 

And every week, my mom would enter his tent.

And every week, my brother would cover my ears.

And every week, my mom would come back with a moldy loaf of bread.

We always split that loaf of bread into three parts: one for me, one for my mother, and one for my brother. Of course, Baekhyun would always get the biggest part. As much as I loved him, I was jealous. I was jealous to the point where I hated him. Why couldn't I get the biggest piece for once? Why? 

 

---

 

"Yumi, I'm going to the park today. Would you like to come?" my mother asked me one day.

"Me?!" I responded excitedly. She nodded.

"Yes!" 

She crawled out of the opening with us following behind. 

"No, you can't come today, Baekhyun. It's Yumi's turn." 

A wide smile spread across my face. I was finally more loved than my brother. 

 

---

 

I followed her to the park that she had always went with Baekhyun. He had always told me about it, but I never got to see it until then. She held my hand and led me to a small street lined with rows and rows of cherry blossoms. It was beautiful. They were blooming and the smell of wet concrete filled the air. Compared to the dark hole we lived in, this place was so much more pleasant and refreshing. Standing there, I felt like one day, father could possibly come back for us. I would once again be able to sit on his lap, get smothered with his kisses, and be able to hold his hand for no reason. I would no longer be the neglected one.

I squinted up at the sun rays shining through the branches, shadowing my face with my hand. I've never felt better in my life. Although father was gone, I still had mom. Her taking me to this park was a sign that I was finally good enough to recieve her love. 

Or at least that was what I thought.

"Stay here," she said, stooping down to touch my cheeks. "Mom will come back soon." 

She never did.

 

---

 

I was renamed Hong Yookyung after I was taken in by a nice family. They treated me well, but I never considered them as my parents. I don't have any. I never did, and I never will. 

After I graduated from college, I moved back to the town where our house made of cardboard and broken umbrellas lay. I came back to that same dark alley and the residents there stared at me in curiousity. 

"What is this wealthy woman doing here?" one may ask. 

Well, I only had two things in mind: to find Baekhyun and to seek revenge. I was devastated to see our house gone. It was instead replaced with a crappier house made of used garbage bags. 

I turned towards that digusting tent. The disgusting tent in which a disgusting man lived. The man that stole my mother's pride and self-respect using a mere loaf of bread. I smacked the tent furiously, waking up the sleeping monster.

"What the ?!" he angrily shouted while zipping open his fence. The moment he saw me, his mouth fell agape. I snickered. 

"Here," I said, tossing a moldy loaf of bread at him. 

"Thanks..."

I started to walk away.

"Wait, miss! Sorry to bother, but have I seen you somewhere?"

"Perhaps." 

That night, the man was taken to the hospital. He never made it out alive. Just like how my mother never came back for me. 

 

---

 

I strolled over to the familar street surrounded by cherry blossoms. Memories rush past me and my knees gave out, causing me to drop onto the ground. I placed my trembling hands on my head and started screaming. 

"NO! NO! STOP!" I yelled.

A dark figure came towards me. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, helping me up. 

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

Those eyes. 

"What happened? A girl like you shouldn't be out here this late at night."

Those lips.

"I thought someone was murdering you. You should really think about investing in some pepper spray or something."

Byun Baekhyun.

"Hi, my name is Byun Baekhyun a.k.a. your hero. What's your name?" he asked, offering me his left hand. 

I stared at him, speechless.

"Hello?" He waved his hands in front of my face, making me snap out of it. 

"Yookyung. Hong Yookyung."

 

---

 

We met there everyday for months. 

Sometimes, I wondered if I should tell him that I was his sister, but I always pushed that thought away. 

No, I couldn't risk it. I can't be abandoned again. I refuse to let that happen. 

It was me against the world, and all I had was him. 

According to my mother, Kim Yumi had gotten hit by a truck near the park and her life had diminished into thin air. She is gone from this world, and will forever be gone. Therefore, I must believe it too. 

I am not Byun Yumi, I am Hong Yookyung.

 

---

 

A few years later, I was standing on a platform in my white dress. 

Yes, I'm crazy for marrying my own brother. 

But you know what? I don't care. I don't care if I'm crazy, as long as I'm not abandoned. 

 

---

 

"My daughter is so beautiful," he cooed, touching his pointer finger to her tiny nose. "What shall we name her?"

"What about Baekhi?"

"I was thinking we should name her Yumi...after my sister." 

"NO!" I got up from the hospital bed and grabbed the crying baby out of his arms. "We can't."

"Why not?" he asked, confused. 

"I said no. I think Baekhi sounds better." 

He sighed. "Well, Baekhi it is." 

 

---

 

It's actually not all that weird that my daughter is also my niece. I found it miraculous that she came into this world perfectly fine, despite the fact that her parents were twins. 

Baekhyun adored her. I actually grew to love her as well, even with my stone cold heart. However, I felt my jealousy rise as the days go by, watching this child be loved by both her mother and father. It's not fair. It's just not. 

That was when it hit me; I was exactly like my mother. I had received more love from father than she had ever experienced throughout their whole relationship. Jealousy got the best of us and it led us to treat our loved ones as enemies. 

Although I resented my mom and wanted to be nothing like her, I distanced myself from Baekhi. Baekhyun found it weird, but didn't do anything about it. 

Just like how he found my identity weird, but never questioned me about it. 

I knew he wanted to know.

He wanted to know why I remind him so much of his "dead" sister. 

He wanted to know why I never put my hair up. 

He wanted to know why I always kept it pitch dark in our bedroom at night.

Maybe because I was hiding something. A birth mark possibly. The small one behind my neck...the one he had too.

 

---

 

The doorbell rung and Baekhyun poked his head out of our bedroom door.

"Yookyung, can you get the door? I need to change Baekhi's diaper real quick. Ugh, what did you feed her?"

I sighed. I hated opening the door and I hated interacting with people. It was always Baekhyun's job. I slumped past the living room and opened the door, only to see a familar elderly couple stare back at me.

"Yookyung! We've missed you so much!" said the elderly woman, pulling me into a tight hug. I forcefully pushed her away. 

"How'd you find me?" I asked coldly. 

"Seha gave me your address."

That . I actually trusted her. 

"Well, it was nice seeing you." I started to close the door and she opened to protest, but Baekhyun appeared right then with Baekhi in his arms. 

"Hi, I'm Byun Baekhyun. May I ask who you were looking for?" 

"We're Yookyung's adopted parents. We wanted to say goodbye to her before we moved to Italy." 

 

---

 

"I can't believe you got married without inviting us to the wedding!" the woman whined. "You should've at least told us that we had a granddaughter."

She rocked Baekhi in her arms while the man shook the rattle playfully at her. 

"What did you say your name was?" she asked, directing her gaze at Baekhyun.

"Byun Baekhyun."

"Byun? When we adopted Yookyung, her last name was Byun too. What a coincidence." 

I froze. My heart started thumping, and I felt all my joints stiffening. I looked over at Baekhyun, who was now in shock. 

"Was her first name Yumi?" 

"Yes! We weren't going to change it since it was such a pretty name, but she insisted on it." 

I watched his throat as he gulped down a whole glass of wine. His eyes were filled with digust, anger, and hysteria. He looked traumatized. 

"Well, we have to go now. Our plane is going to depart soon," she said, placing Baekhi into my arms. 

"You guys should visit us when you get the chance." 

Baekhyun and I had no reaction. 

"You guys are destined for each other alright," she said, sighing. "Always acting like a rock." 

They left and Baekhyun turned to me, his eyes blood-red. He treaded over to where I stood and lifted up my hair.

There it was. The birthmark. Our birthmark. 

"I-I can explain."

"I've always wondered why you felt so familiar. I should've known."

"Baekhyun I-"

"Shut up!!" he yelled, knocking a vase onto the wooden floors. "How can you do this to me?! How?! You're a disgusting animal. A maniac. A complete physco!"

"Baekhyun, please," I pleaded, placing my hand on his shoulder. 

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"  

Baekhyun had always been calm, so his anger frightened me. I didn't know what to do. There was no way that he would understand. He wrestled Baekhi out my arms and shoved me, making me fall onto the couch. 

"What are you doing?!" 

"I'm leaving. We're leaving. I can't let Baekhi be around you." 

He headed for the door and I hurriedly ran into the kitchen, my hands feeling around in the drawer frantically. I had found it. Although it was suppose to give off a cold feeling when wrapped inside a human's hand, in mine, it was burning hot.  

The next thing I knew, there was a bang. He slowy turned around to see me, gun in hand. Before he could utter a word, he sunk to the cold, hard ground. 

"It's your fault this happened! Everything is your fault!" I screamed, walking up to his twitching body. 

"Everyone had abandoned me, I'm not going to let you do it." 

Baekhyun started to choke on his own blood, and I knelt down to him. 

"I can't let it happen again." I placed my palms on the sides of his face. "I had no choice."

"Why?" he managed to croak. 

I placed the gun to his forehead and pulled the trigger. His eyes rolled back into his head and blood splattered all over me.

"I love you," I whispered, placing my lips to his one last time.

I made my way over to the wailing Baekhi and picked her up. At that very moment, I felt a sense of warmth and love. That feeling disappeared quickly though, and was replaced by jealousy and hatred instead. She was the only one that Baekhyun was evey faithful to -- the only one that Baekhyun ever truly cared about. If it's not me, it can't be anyone else. 

I wrapped my fingers around her frail neck and squeezed. When her last breath was taken, I held her in my arms and took her to the place that started it all. Where Kim Yumi disappeared, and where Hong Yookyung was invented. 

"Mom will come back soon," I said, placing her on the same concrete I stood 25 years ago.

It was midnight and the moon was covered with a blanket of clouds. It was perfect. 

I knocked on the wooden door and my best friend gasped when she saw my blood soaked body. 

"Yoo-yookyung," she stuttered, stepping back.

I pulled the gun from my back pocket and fired.

That's what you get for ruining everything, Yoon Se Ha.

 

---

 

"Daddy, I can't sleep. Can I stay here with you guys tonight?" the little boy asked, teddy bear in hand.

"Of course, sweetheart."

The boy crawled under the covers and nestled in between in his mom and dad. Just then, they heard glass shattering downstairs. 

"Did you hear that?" asked the father.

The mom nodded her head slowly and reached for the phone, but before her hand even grazed it, her life was taken. Her husband followed her soon after. 

"Mom! Dad!" the little boy shrieked. I pulled him off the bed and showed him my glinting knife. 

"Isn't it pretty?" I asked him, smiling. I turned him over and carved nine letters into his back. A-B-A-N-D-O-N-E-D.

In a matter of minutes, I had managed to carve over ten children. Just as I was about to make my way over to the next house, the blinking lights had already surrounded me. 

"Put the gun down!" the officer ordered.

More than fifteen guns were pointed at me and I had no way out. I raised my arm, ready to fire.

Bullets ripped through my body, but I felt no pain. As my body crashed onto the wet grass, I managed to let out a laugh.

I uttered my last words, "Byun Yumi is no longer alone. Byun Yumi doesn't have to suffer anymore." 

 

THE END