Taemin POV: I sat down slowly next to a single lamp lighting up my dark room, why must i feel like this i thought as i felt like crying, to tell you the truth, sure i might look happy to my hyungs and fans but latly even though i have a smile on my face, i have been like this nearly every night sitting here feeling like , i think about the little things i stuff up in and cry over how stupid i must have looked and how all of shinee fans must be making fun of me laughing at me, and then some times... like now.. im just pathetic, as i bring a razor towards my wrist, and slicing my skin, i look up at my wall were the picture of key i had put up on my wall with blutack started to fall down as my eyes started watering again it fell as well as a tear rolled down my cheek, i threw the razor under my bed and grabbed a teddy bear i had next to me and lied doqn and cried to it 'even you think im disgusting dont you?' I whispered through my sobs 'well guess what i dont care! And nobody carea about me, because im a disgusting peice of arnt i?' I started crying more but i had to keep my nosie down or i would have to make another excuse to avoid my hyungs. I soon fell asleep when everything went black, either that or i past out from lack of sleep