There was a lot of things that made him sigh nowadays, and staring into spaces and throwing fake smiles nearly seemed like his hobbies. But if throwing smiles was what made the fans happy, he would do it.

 

There was a lot of things that made him cry lately, not getting enough sleep was one thing, he wished it would be because of four idiots keeping him awake, but it was only caused by listening to his hyung blaming himself in the next room. Crying was nothing his hyung did easily, and it wasn't any easier when his source of comfort was gone. Their source of comfort.

 

There is a lot of things people cry about. Ending dramas, beautiful songs and books, death, love and lots of other things, but their fans cried because of loss... and disbelief, anger and being kept in the dark about the stuff their idols was going through. They cried because their idols couldn't see each other anymore, and because it was obvious that they weren't happy. 'A fake smile is a fake smile' as they said.

 

But what made Changmin cry the most was disappointment. He felt like he was left behind, in hell. Why would they leave him and his hyung here? Did they think they were strong enough to live in this place on their own? Had they ever thought about taking them with them? Or coming to get them? Didn't they love him? Didn't they love Yunho? Didn't they love TVXQ?

 

«Gods, if I ever see those three idiots again I will surly hit some sense into their stupid heads.» Changmin whispered and tried to close his eyes to get some rest. “Or maybe just hug some sense into them”

 

It wasn't hate Changmin felt when he thought about his hyungs, it was sadness. He was so damn used to seeing those three idiots and just suddenly he was sitting alone in the livingroom with his hyung. The world just felt black, lonely and somehow, life seemed like it had turned harder by a notch and he felt like he was under water all the time. It felt like he was stuck on the day he understood that something was wrong, and his intentions were right. It wasn't more than a few days later he was alone.

 

He could practically see his hyungs walking out the door, and they couldn't do anything but sit there and watch, watch them walk out. If it happened now, and he somehow had a clue about what would happen and how badly he would be affected, he would surely drag them back inside and give them a beating or two.

 

When he was young and met the four airheads he called his “beloved hyungs” now, and someone said he would end up loving them like his own family, he would laugh that person straight in the face, no hesitation.

 

The most memorable meeting he had was with Yunho, Yunho had told him, straight out, to just give up on being an idol if it wasn't what he wanted, because there was other people that wanted to be idols. He would never believe it if a person said that that boy, would today be one of his few sources of comfort. But he was thankful that his hyung said that, it made him more determined to reach where he is now, and even further,

 

“Changmin ah, are you sleeping?” Changmin lifted the blanket of his face and shook his head, his hyung walked in, closed the door silently behind him and sat on the bed beside him.

 

“It's the 26^th” Yunho smiled. “And yet we are alone like this, we should at least spend the night doing something together”

 

“What about watching a movie?” Changmin asked and Yunho nodded.

 

And that's how they found themselves 10 minutes later, in the livingroom, under a blanket, a movie playing on the screen and lots of candies scattered around the big couch before them. It's Changmin we are talking about here people.

 

“Is it really neccesarry to eat that much candy? I don't want you turning into Junsu anytime soon.” Yunho said and poked Changmin's cheek.

 

“Says the one with a teddy bear called 'Joongie' whom he hugs at night.” Changmin fired back.

 

“Hah! I know about the picture of Yoochun in stripping clothes in your bedside desk!”

 

“It's purely for blackmail hyung, I have one of you too, and a stripping pole. And I'm fairly sure Jaejoong hyung has that picture too.” Yunho's eyes widened at this, and Changmin smirked 'Hit the bulls eye'.

 

“I have never done such a thing!” Yunho shrieked.

 

“Geez! No need to screech like Junsu!” Changmin said and covered his ears. Yunho puffed out his cheeks and turned his head the other way. “Blame our boys night out, you've probably done the most crazy stuff among us! Like that one time when you made out with that one statue in the park!”

 

“WHAT?! No one has ever told me about this!” Yunho yelled and slapped Changmin over the head.

 

The silence took over as they both turned their heads back to the movie, Changmin stuffed his mouth with popcorn while Yunho just watched. Suddenly the power went out and the apartment went fully dark.

 

The whole city went silent except a few cars, and the only sound in the room was their breathing.

 

“Seriusly, just when the movie was getting interesting!” Changmin complained white stuffing his mouth with more popcorn.

“Could it become more perfect?”

“Surely not”

“Now, no one would notice us!”

“It's too dark to see us and people will panic and not pay attention to us!”

“We're practically ninjas now”

“Shut up Micky mouse.”

“Sorry, just wanted to lighted up the mood. Geez, no need to be angry.”

“Just shut up, please, or I will send dolphinator at you.”

 

“Do we seriously not have one single candle in this apartment?! This is stupid!” Yunho cursed as he rummaged though the drawers in the kitchen, while Changmin searched though the livingroom.

 

“Seems like we don't, what should we do?” Changmin asked as he looked at Yunho.

 

“Well, we could start a fire by ripping of the planks on the floor and burning them.” Yunho said and rolled his eyes.

 

“Or we could sit here and wait for someone from SM to come and help us.” Changmin said and sat down on the couch, after a few seconds, Yunho sat beside him.

 

“You looks good in the dark, can't see your ugly face this way.” Changmin said and dodged a flying newspaper.

 

“Ouch!” They heard a squeaking voice then a loud thud coming from the door to the living room. They turned around, their eyes had already adjusted to the dark and they saw a person laying on the floor, and two other people trying to help the fallen person up.

 

“Excellent entrance Junsu, I have always been a fan of your skills.” Changmin said sarcastic and stood up from the couch, Yunho did the same.

 

“You came” Yunho said and smiled at the three, probably extra brightly at Jaejoong.

 

“Of course, it's our birthday” Jaejoong said and walked towards them and hugged the two of them, Yunho waved to Yoochun and Junsu to join too.

 

As the five of them hugged, Changmin felt complete, he didn't feel like shedding any tears, his tears had been shed, his life had been incomplete, but just as the five of them hugged each other, he knew it, this is his home, this is his sanctuary, this IS his family, and this is where he BELONG.

 

Always keep the faith!~

“Just wait wait wait! I'm surely not finished with this fic just yet! You guys have no idea how awesome me, Jaejoong and Junsu were as we were practically jumping through the gates of Seoul. We were like ninjas! Just missing out on the black clothes, ninja starts, kunais and...”

 

“Just please Chun, for the love of Shisus and Heechul, can you please shut up about that ninja crap?!”

 

“Hey! I have to have something to talk about when I don't have any YunJae to ship around!” Yoochun said and crossed his arms.

 

“Seriously, you should look to the other side of the couch, now you owe me food.” Changmin said and Yoochun turned to look at the other side of the couch where Yunho and Jaejoong was making out.

 

“Okay Min, get my camera, Junsu get out of the scene, I have Yunjae to film for needy fans.”

 

FINISHED! FINALLY! FIRST FIC FINISHED IN IHAVENOIDEAHOWLONG AND I AM PRACTICALLY SCREAMING OF JOY! Yoochun is a weirdo, ignore him.