“You had changed.”

I can no longer feel the warmth and love from his eyes anymore. I know he had changed but did them ever wonder why… I tried to get closer to the other but he moved backward. It hurts me. I opened my mouth slowly and closed it again. It is so difficult to find any word to suit in this kind of situation.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

What more can I said when the other’s eyes had proved that he want everything except me in his life. A huge lump stuck in between my throat, making me catching my breath every second. Onew want to be strong. This is why everything had changed. Is this reason enough to make him stay again…? My vision is getting blurry and the next moment I was on my knee.

“I l-love you…” the only words I managed to search.

“You had hurt me.”

“No…I love you!” I cried out loud.

“I am sorry.” I stood up so quickly that I almost lost my balance but that is not important anymore. He was getting further and further away. I ran out from our dorm room and only found out him was already out in his car and moving away from me. It was raining so heavily but my legs just couldn’t stop running after him.  I was kept running till I tripped over a branch. I fell hard on my face, my hands scuffed against the hard road. I knew I would have quite a few scratches on my hands and even having blood flowing down my cheek but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I am tired…tired of being strong. If only, I didn’t change. I slowly sat at the side of the road and crying out loud as staring at my pitiful reflection on the small puddle of water.

“Jonghyun, I really love you.”

 It was getting colder and I didn’t even bring my jacket out. Crying out loud at the side of the road isn’t a great option at all. I guess I had to just get back to dorm as fast as possible before another new comes again. The moment I opened the door, I felt depressed. The scene just repeated over and over again. Reminding me the leaving Jonghyun, reminding me how pathetic I am.

“You are back.” I turned around and saw key sitting on the couch. I nodded softly and all I wanted to do now is lie on my bed and sleep. Ignoring how unfair the world it is right now, ignoring the pain that had been aching on my heart for quite some time. I tried to walk past him but his words made me stop again.

“So you two are over?”

I couldn’t describe my feelings at that moment, is it betrayed that I am feeling? I glared at him, hoping to scare him even just a little bit but his face didn’t change much.

“What make you think so?” I gritted my words through my teeth.

“Isn’t it obvious? Just look at yourself, what have you gotten yourself into?”

He got up from where he sitting and pushed me towards the huge mirror placing in the living room.

“Yeah…you are right…I am pathetic.” I couldn’t imagine I will have this day. Having me wearing muddy shirt with some torn parts found on my pant. My hair is wet and messy, with scratches clearly shown on my right cheek. I dropped to the ground, burying my head into my laps.

“Why…why…” tears pours out just like waterfall, I couldn’t stop. I can hear some footsteps before it came to a stop and I found myself being hugged. I turned around and cried into key’s chest more comfortably.

“Tell me.”

If only I didn’t let those letters get into me, these entire thing wouldn’t happen. If only those people could stop calling me loser, if only those people could just stop disturbing me.

“Oh? Ugly duckling is going to pond again?” I held on to my bag tighter and trying my best to ignore them till I was pulled back and fell hard on my . All I could hear is teasing and laughter, why am I not part of those? “Aren’t you afraid your mum is leaving you?” again, followed by a string of laughter. I held my tears in my eyes and trying so hard not to let them fall.

“Oh? That nerd is coming. You know what to do right?” I was happily running to my seat and the moment I settled down, the chair broke and I fell again. I looked up and saw those familiar faces again. “Did you get fatter?” he chuckled as he waved the broken part in front of me. “You were t-the o-ne w…who b-reak it…” “Ah, I see…you can’t even speak, why don’t just shut up and let us have fun?” Again, I hold back my tears. I couldn’t let them know I am crying.

“Jinki, I am really disappointed in you. This had been the fifth time for not handing up your homework on time. What happen?” I looked at my teacher helplessly. What can I do when my bag is full of disgusting sticky liquids and my homework was all just messed up?

“HA! If you don’t want to be bullied, stand up for yourself, weakling!”

I thought I had forgotten till I received those letters again. The contents are just dragging me down. I just want to be strong but in the end I am just making it worse, having everyone thinking that I had changed.

“I am useless.” I could sense that he is frowning.

“I am expecting something more detail, not just a few words.” Does he have to sound so sharp?

“Those letters are getting into me.”

“I thought you had thrown them away. You normally wouldn’t give a about them.”

“You wouldn’t understand unless you are me. You wouldn’t understand the feelings being bullied, the feelings being pushing into corner and having yourself being suffocate.”

I cried again but this time round, I feel like I am pouring out everything from my heart. I feel so lighten, nothing is weighting on my shoulder.

“Why you never tell me?” I immediately shot up and face him. He is back again, pushing key away and dashed right into his chest. I hugged him tightly, not caring if I had hurt him accidentally.

“D-don’t leave a-again…I am sorry…I am sorry!” I choked out a bit.

“Look at me.”

 I shook my head, scaring that his eyes were trying to telling me otherwise. He gently lifts my head up and wiping my tears away with his thumb.

“Jinki, look at me.” he cooed lovely.

I slowly opened my eyes and stared at him nervously. And the next moment I knew, my lips were on his. I kissed back timidly while holding his shirt. 

“Promise me, tell me everything in future?”

“Promise me, you will never leave me again?”

“I promise.” Both of us said in sync.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for such a crappy one shot, really hope you all enjoy it (: 

Comments are appreciate!