Your P.O.V

I searched my pockets for my house keys as I approached the front door. I'm tired. No, exhausted. From work, from school, from life, from everything. I don't remember my last meal. Was it Tuesday? Monday? Last week? I lost track. My stomach cruelly growled as a sharp pain stabbed at my ribs. Finally finding my keys, I weakly pushed the door open. The pain became worse when my nose was greeted by the smell of steak. Daehyun came out of the kitchen wearing an apron. "Welcome home, jagi. How was your day?" I smiled at the sight of my boyfriend.

"Great. What are you doing here?" He came over and pecked my lips.

"I wanted to surprise you. Come, dinner is ready." The thought of eating made my stomach twist into a knot. Daehyun doesn't know about me, not this side of me. I can't let him know that I'm a freak. Involuntarily, my stomach growled. "Sounds like someone is starving." You have no idea. He took my hand and lead me to the table, pulling out my chair and seating me.

I fidgeted with my fork as Daehyun brought out two plates. He put one down at the place set across from mine and the other I'm front of me. It looked amazing. It smelled amazing. "Daehyun, this is-". He interrupted me with a kiss, melting his lips against mine. I was shocked when he pulled away. "W-what was that for?" He grinned.

"I just missed you, that's all. Let's eat." He sat down at his place and started eating. I stared at the food in front of me. You have to eat it, just chew and swallow. Just so he doesn't suspect anything. "Something wrong?"

"No, everything is fine." I weakly smiled and picked at the meat with my fork. You have to eat it. If not for yourself, then for him. Hesitatingly, I picked up the knife and started carving into the steak, putting it into my mouth. It tasted incredible. The savory beef melted on my tongue.

"How is it?"

"Delicious." I continued to eat, but with each bite came a gnawing in my abdomen. About half way through the steak, an awful feeling pushed itself up the back of my throat. Keep it down, you can do this. Don't let yourself lose to this disease. I continued to force the food into my mouth. Oh no, no no no. Don't let it come up, don't throw up. Keep your food down. I can't, it's coming up and I can't stop it. "Excuse me." With my hand over my mouth, I ran to the bathroom.

Leaning over the toilet, I gripped the rim of the bowl tightly as everything poured out of my mouth. My eyes teared up as my vomit sloshed into the toilet. The disgusting, bitter taste burned on my tongue as I felt my stomach empty. When the horror finally ended, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Crawling towards the door, I reached upwards and locked it.

I couldn't control it, and I hated myself for that. I crawled back to the toilet and flushed it. Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs and balled up into the fetal position, quietly sobbing as I laid on the floor. I can't win. No matter how much I try to beat this, I can't win. I don't know how long I've been laying here. Fifteen minutes? Twenty minutes? It's felt like hours, but I know it couldn't have been that long. I heard a knock at the door.

"Babe? Are you okay?" I cleared my throat.

"I'm fine!" I lied.

"Uhm. Can I come in?" I panicked. He can't see me like this, I'm a mess. A wreck. "Jagi?"

"Okay! Hold on!" I turned of the faucet and washed my face, trying to erase the streams of tears. After drying it, I held the doorknob, breathing deeply before faking a smile and swinging the door open. "What's wrong? Did you need something?" He looked into my eyes, then sighed. "Daehyun? Something wrong?" He pulled me in and hugged me tightly. That's when I broke down. All of the pressure just came collapsing in on me. Crying in his arms made me feel so weak, so vulnerable. He gently sat down, cradling me in his arms. It was silent for a moment.

"I know." He finally spoke up.

"You know?"

"I know about it, your bulimia." I froze.

"H-how long have you known?"

"About a month. I began to notice your hair falling out more than usual and your skin growing paler each day. You were also going to the restroom a lot after each meal. I started paying closer attention and noticed that you don't eat unless I'm watching. After researching it online, I found out that it may have been bulimia. I didn't know how to tell you, you seemed so set on keeping it from me. I thought you didn't trust me so I stayed quiet."

"No, it's not that. I just- I didn't want you to think I'm a freak." He seemed a bit hurt at what I said.

"Am I that kind of person to you?"

"No. But, well, you're you. You're Jung Daehyun. Cute, popular, funny. You're Mr. Perfect. And... I'm-"

"Beautiful. I wish you saw what I saw in you." He wiped my cheek with his hand. "__________, you're one of the most incredible people I've ever met. The fact that you have been handling all of this by yourself makes you so strong, but you don't have to do that anymore. I'm here for you, let me help you." I looked at him, uncertain of everything he said. Everyone says they want to help, but no one ever stuck by it. People always leave, and I knew that. He'll get tired of me, and then he'll leave. He could do so much better, why would he stick around? It was as if he could read my mind, because at that moment, he kissed my forehead. "I'm here for you, always."

"I love you, Daehyun."

"I love you, too, jagiya. We'll get through this together, I promise." He stuck out his pinky and intertwined tightly it with my pinky, stamping his thumb against mine.