JUN

I never knew what it is to love…until you. How did I fall for you? How did it all start? I didn’t know either. I just found myself talking about finding you as my ideal girl—a girl who’s skinny, has quite a short height, a small face and a soft hair.

When pictures of us together at Gangnam and Hongdae went out of the press, it caused havoc among fandom, some even left, but we held on. I can still smell the fragrance of coffee we shared that night. That night at the Sky Park and how your big round eyes sparkled. They say innocence is your charm, but little do they know, everything about you is your charm. Although in an interview back then you once said that we were not dating or deeply in love, we were just getting to know each other. It stung a bit but there was no stopping us. We fell deep later, anyway.  

I asked myself so many times what happened to us, what went wrong along the way or was it even our fault. I asked and asked, but had answers to no avail. Even my parents, they ask about what happened to us. How can I answer them when they liked you so much? I can still remember family dinners with you; do you know that I felt like we’re getting married that time?

I walked passed by a cinema today, I saw a poster of Iron Man 3 coming soon. I was thrilled to watch it, but lost the excitement when I remembered I can’t watch it with you anymore. Maybe I’ll even be sadder when Avengers 2 hits the cinema, don’t you think? Or maybe by that time we can watch it together as friends… or as more than that?

I’ve always wanted to surprise you. I remember that interview at Strong Heart when you told them I don’t surprise, I took that as a hint—but I didn’t push through any surprises for you.  And when you said that your ideal date with me is just eating a meal together, I wanted to squeeze every chance that I can eat with you into our busy schedule. I just wish we had more chances.

Do you know I laughed when I saw a fan posted something today online? She said that the song I released before will be dedicated to you now—I beg to disagree, of course. How can I be fine living without you? And what is freedom without you?

Although we broke up, I don’t hate you. I won’t ever hate you. I’ll always reminisce and miss you.

Someday, when we meet under different circumstances, when times have changed, when we finally get the chance again… I’ll never let you go as I hold you in my embrace.