But Not For Me..

We know each other since the first. Our meetings that would never be forgotten in my life. The reason I'm still present in this world. Me and him exist because we are actually related to one another. This feeling can be regarded as love, even though it is difficult to describe.

Because I fell in love with my best friend.

I still remember my meeting with him, at the school. He came to help me when people do not even care about me. Word of thanks may never be enough to portray how much I appreciate it. You are always shine in front of everyone in the world. I believe you are the most shining star among all.

The first meeting, at the age of 16 years.

"Yaaa! You! "

I tried to run very fast from the pursuit of them all. I was always bullied by kids at my age, because I always look weak. I'm so afraid of them all. School feels like hell to me.

But I found another meaning of school, when you came.

"Stop it! Aargh! "

I kept screaming when they kept hitting me and kicking me. I can not fight because they are so many. How could they all gang up on me at the same time? I was sick, very sick.

"Hey! Stop it, "

I still remember your words at the time.

"Stop you guys! Really, 1 versus 4, you guys're such a coward! "

Yes, that's what you say to them all in place. I located them all, see you with goggle. I am still in a state of mess trying to see you that covered by the bright light of the sun.

You are always feared by everyone, because your strength to make them go away and leave us alone. You are strong, because you were never afraid to everyone. I always see you from far away that is always like that. I could only see you and never dared to talk to you. It's as if there's a wall between us.

The walls which then you destroy with the question.

"Are you okay?"

I'm still in disarray trying to fix myself. You laughed at me like that. Even so, you still held out your hand to me. With a sense of shame and then mixed with amusement, slowly I took your hand. You made me get up out of a dark hole.

"T-Thank you,"

"You're supposed to be fight them,"

"Uh ... A-I do not dare to,"

"You have to be brave, Chanyeol,"

I was surprised because you know my name.

"How did you know my name,"

"Of course I know, you're in my class,"

You know my name, I'm very happy.

"I have not introduced my name, I'm Baekhyun,"

Of course I know your name. I always know. Byun Baekhyun, most powerful and popular student at school. Also the first friend I had. Friendship that I will always keep. On the first day we met, I promised myself, to take care of you even though I'm too weak. However, I do not want to lose, I am also getting stronger with you.

A few years later, we grow up to be young men who continue to think of the future.

I always dreamed of becoming a rapper. You've always dreamed of becoming a famous singer. Along with these dreams, we both struggled together, though sometimes there are fights between us, but you easily change the situation. We return again to work with joy.

Due diligence we always do every day. We managed to achieve our dream. I'm a famous rapper and you are famous singers in Seoul. Together the two of us in the music industry, became popular under the stage name of ours "BaekYeol". The combination of your name and my name together.

I still remember when we had both struggled to be accepted in SM Ent. Even after it is received, we always practice with great effort there. Also feeling the passionate when we will debut became a duo group. Then the feeling came into myself.

The feeling I should never have.

But because I'm sure all will be fine if I keep silent, I decided to continued to close myself.

Only with you, I already happy. Perhaps, for until now.

Today we live as normal again. We are in the office of SM Ent., Because we will be releasing a new album. We decided to do some recording. I just got up from my apartment, and immediately entered the office. It can be seen how many fans who always waiting for us in front of the office, always and almost every day.

"Good morning, Chanyeol," one of the senior greet me.

I then bowed to him, give my deepest regards.

"Good morning,"

That's how I always do here, say hello to them and greeted them. I am grateful the people here are very friendly and always smiling. This place made me feel comfortable and perfect.

I walked into the recording were not far from our canteen. There we will meet again, of course I am very happy and pounding. I went inside, and saw many people were there.

I was surprised to see Baekhyun with a woman.

Of course I know her. She is Hi Lee, the singer with the golden voice. Always get a rank 1 in each of the charts. All the people in korea certainly knew her very well, because of her golden voice can make everyone's heart tremble. So, it's an honor for me and Baekhyun be collaborating with her.

"Good morning Baekhyun, Hayi-shi,"

I'm approach them, looking down.

Hayi who was sitting, immediately stood up and gave her greetings to me with a bow.

"Good morning, I am Hayi, nice to meet you,"

I laughed a little to see Hayi that looks awkward, but that's another side of her. Although she is very charismatic on stage, she still women in general.

I saw Baekhyun and find other meanings of his face.

"Chanyeol, we will make a song to collaborate with her,"

"Oh, ok. What is the theme? "

"Love. Song about love, "

About love, huh? That's what I feel now to you, Baekhyun. Always in my heart. The song will be very suitable for the situation of myself and both of us, I'm sure. Until the next words of him, break my spirit.

"Me and Hayi-shi has made it together,"

I was surprised, because Baekhyun not told about it beforehand. He suddenly said this. So he and Hayi has made the song without me. Why?

"Since when?"

"Just a few days ago,"

"Huh, why did not you tell me?"

"Because this is a song about love, Chanyeol,"

Love? Do you understand what I feel now is the love? How do you say it, as if I did not know about love. Every day I'm happy with you it is love, a love which strengthens me.

"You want to see the lyric we've created?"

"Sure,"

Then you give a paper that already contains the song along with the tune as well. I read it carefully, sentence by sentence. I was amazed with every verse I read, all filled with love so overflowing.

"This song is very nice,"

"Of course Chanyeol, because I and Hayi made it,"

I feel hurt when you say it with pride. Can not you see I'm also sick? Surprisingly you asked me to do something else that will eventually hurt me.

"I want you to write the rap lyrics, Chanyeol,"

I want to do. However, it can feel a feeling called jealousy lodged inside me. I can see Hayi walking away with him. Strangely Baekhyun would accompanied her to get out, but usually he's never like that.

Did he fall in love with him?

I did not dare to hear it from you. So I kept my mouth shut when you came back.

"You know, Chanyeol,"

I'm not ready for this at all, immediately get a surprise attack.

"I like her,"

Those words were the last thing I ever want to hear from your lips. You look happy even when you say it, and I feel great fear of me. You then carry on while sitting on the couch slowly.

"From the first time I met her, I can not let go of this eye,"

Stop.

"She is very beautiful with anything, she always looks perfect,"

Please stop.

"Maybe, I really fell in love with her, Chanyeol,"

I said stop!

I kept screaming in my heart. I did not say anything, just let him talk about things that make my heart cut one by one. I remained standing with the previous position, holding a paper that contains songs about love. Not about the love that I feel now.

"That's why you can make a song like this,"

"Yeah you're right, because of love,"

What?

"Did you declare it to her?"

Stupid! Why you should ask that, Chanyeol?

"Not yet,"

"Oh,"

"But I will show it when the collaboration is finished,"

"Good for you,"

"So Chanyeol, I hope you can help me,"

There will never be!

"Of course, we are friends,"

"Thank you, Chanyeol. You're the best friend I have, "

Only the best friend, that's me in his eyes. Why I never dared to express my feelings to you? Why I am now sick first? Had I remained weak since the first? Had I not been changed?

But I built a bond that has been present, I would never want to let go. It will not ever want to, because I love you. After I saw a friend who is always with me, fell in love, I decided to close my heart tightly.

I write rap lyrics to our new song. In the lyrics it contains only the feeling of love I felt, though I know that this song is not for me. I still want to pour my feelings into it.

A love song that's not for me.

One day I met her, Hayi, the person that Baekhyun love. I do not hate her because loved by Baekhyun. I hated myself who want to help Baekhyun to approach Hayi. I do not understand why he loves Hayi.

"Good morning, Chanyeol-oppa,"

Because I was older, she call me that. Always and every time, I could feel the sincerity of her. She was always kind to everyone. Maybe that's what makes Baekhyun in love with her. While I, can only continue to see it.

"Chanyeol-oppa, lately it seems you are not healthy,"

How did she know?

"Chanyeol-oppa always cheerful. However, lately became quiet, what happen oppa? "

I was shocked, she could feel there was something else from me. That means she always concerned me.

"That's mean Hayi-shi always watching me to know things like that,"

I saw her blush a little.

"I always pay attention to Chanyeol-oppa and Baekhyun-oppa, always laughing and smiling. But now is not, "

Of course, because you are there.

"Is it because of me?"

Exactly.

"Of course not, Hayi,"

"So why, oppa?"

"There are many reasons you need to know. So you have to focus with our collaboration, ok? "

"All right, oppa. I will certainly do my best. If there’s something I should do for Baekhyun-oppa and oppa, I would do it with pleasure, "

Slightly touched my heart with words from you. How could I hate you so concerned about everyone else? Perhaps, because of this Baekhyun fall in love with you.

Do I have to merelahkanmu, Baekhyun? Because I always see you so happy with her. The Happiness that's very different when with me. I also want to always see you happy no matter what happens to me. Still, I was not able to get rid of this feeling.

Day to record come. All the staff had gathered with their tools. Our song is ready to sing. First we will do our first recording with our first song. Then we did record a song about your love, Baekhyun.

We do recording, with you and Hayi sing along. Their voice when combined absolutely beautiful and perfect. The whole room was completely filled with the aura of love from both of them. Although the actual aura it gave me a sense of pain one by one.

In fact they looked at each other while singing. Yes, they were in love with each other, I'm sure. But I also fell in love with you, Baekhyun. Why do not you see how I feel?

After they finish recording, the entire staff gives them a very rousing applause. Of course they were very impressed with the sound of both of them. Really golden voice who always dreamed of everyone.

My turn to sing my rap part. I do it all while looking towards Baekhyun who sat together Hayi. I keep seeing him who is also smiling at me. The last part I say the word of "sarange" while looking towards Baekhyun.

It was the first statement of my love indirectly.

When we were all finished with our records. The staff held a party on the top floor along with other artists from our company. Baekhyun has prepared a special event for him and Hayi. I also helped in the event.

He will declare his love when the fireworks finish. So during the fireworks, I along with Bakhyun chatting together about how our own album this time will be successful.

"The fireworks begin,"

We both immediately see the fireworks that is by the staff, very lively and loud. Yes, I'm going to do something now. I will state my feelings in the midst of this harsh fireworks.

"Baekhyun,"

"Hmm,"

When the big fireworks lit I immediately said something along with the sound of fireworks.

"I love you,"

So this is the state my love for the first time and last time.

"What? I did not hear you, "

"Nothing,"

After the fireworks ended, you are headed for the Hayi, greeted her awkwardly like are new teen puberty. But maybe that's what you are during this time, Baekhyun. I just saw it from a distance when you express your feelings to her.

See the happy faces of you and Hayi, it looks like you guys really love each other. I still feel a little pain in my heart, but I also felt relieved when I said what I felt when fireworks earlier. Maybe just Hayi which will I admit to be the person you love, because I'm sure she also loves you with all her heart.

Love is full of various stories. From the saddest to the happiest.

After a few weeks later, our album entitled "Song of Love" was released. I took a walk in the city center for a while, to buy my favorite coffee in the shop nearby. I can look around the city was filled with the release of our new album. Mainly they talked about songs from Baekhyun and Hayi.

"Their voice is very beautiful,"

"They seemed to match together,"

"It looks like they are dating,"

"Are they in love?"

I am really in a state of very covered so no one will recognize me. Of course I look like someone who is suspicious. I'm also not see a way forward because of fear. Until I hit someone.

I fell together with the person. The entire of my camouflage stuff fall, I immediately cleanup, while people who hit me keep apologizing. He did not help me because it seemed like he was in a hurry with things he had to do.

When he was gone, the people one by one started to recognize me. I tried not to look up and continued care of my stuff. While people are multiplying and over me.

Then I saw a photo ID at the bottom. I immediately took it and stood up. I started running after him again, but it was too late. Especially a lot of people are covered the path. Slowly I bowed and smiled to everyone, I'm trying to get out of the crowd and walked toward that man went.

When I got out, I read the identity of the person. I read the name on it. Then also the address listed. Looks like I have to give it back to the person named Wu Yi Fan.