D O N G H A E

The moment she ran away, my heart cracked and burst into sharp little pieces. I was so stunned that I just stood there, frozen on my feet, unable to make my body move, unable to breath for a couple of minutes.

Why?

I sank to the ground, like the raindrops that had begun falling.

Why, Yoona, why?

“Hyung! Get up!” Eunhyuk rushed to me and shook my shoulder.

“How could she?” I asked and soon, tears were starting to roll down my cheek. I brusquely wiped them away with the back of my hand. But the tears won’t stop so I kept on rubbing my face with my hands until I was sore all over.

Why can you not give me a chance? And how could you just run away without a word? Are you that ruthless? Is it so hard to speak to me? Is that how much you hate me?

“Hae, stop that,” Siwon grabbed my arm and knelt on the ground. He turned to face me. “Let’s go home, alright? Can you get up?”

I staggered to my feet, but I kept on stumbling down. You see, there was this heavy burden inside of me that weighed me down and immobilized me. I felt lightheaded like I just downed a whole bucket of wine.

Eunhyuk and Siwon assisted me to the car while the rest of Super Junior M cleaned up the mess we’ve made.

But no matter how much I try, I can never clean up this mess in my heart.

~~~

The day after, we were back at the airport waiting for our return flight to Taiwan. I was sitting at the terminal, staring down at the documents I held in my hand.

Passport.

I turned it over and over until the letters became senseless symbols.

I sighed and looked around. I was left to watch over the luggage while Super Junior M went to buy themselves souvenirs and coffee. It’s not that I minded. For the past couple of days, they have stopped trying to talk to me because I’d just look at them and breaking down into tears.

What I’m feeling – the pain, the sadness, the disappointment, the hurt - these can’t be accurately expressed in words. They are like shadows with no real form hovering over me, swallowing me and spitting me out.

Are we really not meant for each other? Should I just give up on you?

“Oppa!”

I didn’t look up. I must be so wasted that I’m imagining Korean fangirls calling me.

“Oppa!”

Aissh, Donghae, you’re going crazy. The voice I’m hearing in my head was getting louder. I covered my ears.

“LEE DONGHAE OPPA!” someone screamed next to me. I jumped back. Sitting beside me was a youthful girl with bright eyes. Her braided pigtails were adorned with neon-colored hair-bands and her outfit was as vibrant as her aura.

“Do I know you?” I asked in Korean.

The girl shook her head. “English, please. I’m Dokbayonese.”

“Oh!” I switched the language and asked her the same thing.

“I’m a fan!” she exclaimed and right when I was going to take out a pen to sign my autograph, she continued speaking. “You’re probably wondering how I came to know you since the Dokbayonese aren’t supposed to be aware of Super Junior but my parents pay for unrestricted internet access per month so I happened to pass by a website and – “

I didn’t even understand half of what she’d just said so I just sat there and watch go a hundred words per minute. Finally, she took a deep breath and said. “Oh, and I’m Sulli, Yoona’s cousin. You know Yoona right?”

Yoona? You mean…

“Yes, Princess Yoona,” I clarified, straightening up.  

“Are the drugs working?” Sulli asked.

“What do you mean?” I scratched my head. Drugs? What drugs?

“You mean you don’t know?” Sulli’s eyes grew rounder and brighter. “Oh my goodness, Lee Donghae, sir. It’s been almost a week now. Yoona was diagnosed with a disease called Fullerton’s and I was told it’s incurable.”

~~~

E U N H Y U K

We were walking back to the waiting area when Hae came running past us.

“Hey! Dude!” Henry called out but it was all in vain. Hae acted as if he didn’t hear us and kept on running.

“Aissh, who’s watching over the bags?” Kyuhyun tousled his hair and immediately dashed towards our belongings. Sungmin and Zhou Mi came running after him.

Meanwhile, the rest of us tried to go after Hae but he was too far ahead. Siwon was the only one who managed to catch up to him. A while later, Siwon came running back.

Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Siwon put his hands on his knees and tried to regain his breath. He panted, “Hae. Yoona. Said we go ahead.”

Hae, why are you so stubborn? The girl ran away from you. What if you two aren’t just meant to be?