A.N.: Added a few things to clarify the story.

If you were given a chance, one single golden chance to go back to a certain time in the past will you do it? I know some may argue that it is impossible; firstly you would need an inexhaustible source of energy in order to produce and serve as a catalyst to a series of events that would ultimately land a person back in time. Second, there is no way of controlling it, you might end up sending yourself to the time of the great Mayan civilization. Although in retrospect, if that happens you could finally ask them why did they end their calendar at the year 2013. You could even send yourself only a minute back in time – fine. I get it. With today’s technology and knowledge it is near impossible to do such a feat, but let’s just say that for all intents and purposes there was a way to go back in time and somehow they choose you to be the first to try it. Will you?

For most it would be a no brainer. They would jump the gun and strap themselves eagerly awaiting for the opportunity. Some, the smarter ones or so they would like to call themselves would memorize lottery numbers in order to go back in the past to win them later on making them instant millionaires. If only everyone were as simple minded as these people, then I wouldn’t need to have brought this topic up. For others nursing a more pain filled past, like a loss of a loved one or a decision gone awry, they too albeit with more hesitation would take up the offer.

Everyone that agrees to it can all swear to a different purpose, but when it all comes down to it though even the noblest of purpose would all boil down in to one thing.  Personal Gain, why did you want to save someone from getting hit by a bus? Really? After saving them you would be content on stepping out of their lives forever without so much as a thanks or anything? See, even doing something that would lead to world peace somehow leads to personal gain. But I begin to digress, I am not interested in the minds and purposes of those who take the offer. I am more interested at the inner workings of those who refused. Is it lack of courage? Pessimism? We are not made to dabble in the past? Everything that has happened has happened for a reason? All these cliché responses just do not do it for me.

I wonder what wisdom I could learn from those who did not take up the offer, given the same scenario I would have jumped right in. Maybe if I was a bit earlier he wouldn’t have had to suffer. Maybe if I saw the signs earlier he wouldn’t have gone over the edge of rationalism. Maybe if I said that he looked great – no, beautiful to me, he wouldn’t have had to starve himself to feel more happy and accepted. Maybe – there are a lot of maybes so let me cut that useless apendage right now. A ton of should haves, a plethora of would haves and a truck load of could haves. The point is I that I didn’t and what I did, wasn’t nearly enough. Many would argue that I did my best, but all I can say is that all rationality leaves me when it comes to that person.

A sudden drop of temperature chilled me causing me to tighten the hold on my jacket and pull my hood up as the cold winds of pre-winter Seoul whirl about me stirring snow and sleet.  I look to my surroundings and see the towering high rises surrounding the whole city like sentinels in wait, blocking the harsher, stronger winds from the small inhabitants below. I see kids being pulled by their parents as their sight lingers on something shiny displayed on store windows while teenage girls giggle hand in hand as they gossip and window shop. There were teen age boys tinkering with their new gadgets, some riding on their skate boards weaving through the crowds and traffic or simply rough housing like all young boys do.

Not much has really changed as I look at the billboards posted on top of the sidewalks. It was currently displaying an ad of an idol boy band –rookies no doubt, waiting for their debut.  In my youth idols were all the rage, I was even a part of an idol band. I used to remember dancing till I collapsed along with my band mates. We were pretty famous back in the days mind you, stealing the hearts of noonas and teenagers alike as we glide and sing on stage. I smile to myself as reminisce about the old days. A world were everything we thought about was our next stage performance, a time where we occupied our time by either rehearsing for our come back or promoting our current album. In those times we felt like royalty, no one could stop us as long as we had our managers, our band and of course our lovely angels.

Though these very lines that I am about to speak are very worn out, I would still fight to my last breath that there is a long fall for those unlucky enough to reach such a high place. Life is a full circle, we can’ expect to be always on top, as time goes it must always go down. That’s what people who reach the the top usually forget, they get comfortable – too comfortable at the A-list that it almost kills them when it’s time to descend. If there was ever petition for an 8^th mortal sin, I have the perfect thing in mind. It’s what the ancient Greeks called “Hubris”, the loss of contact of reality and an overestimation of one's own competence or capabilities, especially when the person exhibiting it is in a position of power. It’s easy to overlook the menial when you have so much great things ahead of you. A person couldn’t be bothered by a simple fly right? An idol can’t be bothered by a single anti.

It’s been roughly 20 years since my band had its last concert. There’s really no need for me to hide myself in front of the public, some may recognize me once they realize who I was after gawking at me for some time as I buy from a convenience store. Though some of our ever loyal fans still stop and ask for selcas, I for the most part was an idol hidden by the obscurity of time. This time however, I was unlucky- err, lucky enough to walk in front of a yearly fan reunion. As they flock around me asking for autographs and selcas. Gradually I feel the years slowly slipping away, with each photograph that I put my name upon, I felt my old bones growing stronger. Each photograph I feel the wrinkles on my face slowly fading, my old sagging skin growing taut and filling with muscle, my energy steadily rising while I smile and pose for the camera as iff every shutter that clicked and flash that went off took the time away from my body. All around us things were happening as well, the buildings began to dissolve, the sidewalks a little less crowded.

As I hug the last Angel and bid goodbye to the group, I feel the years of experience and knowledge growing dim and flickering out. I take a huge breath and see puffs of smoke coming out of my mouth. The buildings though not as tall as the ones before, were gleaming and standing proud. The ads were replaced to show the faces of me and my brothers as we promote our latest album Miss Right. Nothing much has really changed this is till the Seoul that I was in moments ago. The Seoul of my youth. You see, for you to fully understand the events that conspired in the past that made me the person of today –err, moments ago, I had to take you back in time. Though don't misunderstand, this isn't the sort of time travel worthy of the record books. There are no flux capacitors involved nor endless amount of energy. No formulas or hypothesis to be proven, this is but an middle aged man's rambling of his past. Time is relative according to Einstein, and in dealing with memories, time has little to no power to lord over it. So sit back down and calm yourselves, no laws of physics have been broken to my knowledge, it is all but intelligent wordplay. I guess you already figured that out even sans the explanation, cause you're all cheeky intelligent buggers arent you?

It is the year 2013, the time of my youth. The time when I along with my band members where at the top. I pull up my hood and dawn my face mask to avoid getting swamped by eager fans.  I am 19 years old again, the dancing boy of Teen Top, the true maknae. My name is Choi Jonghyun, stage name Changjo. 

Here's my story.

His story

Ours.