I need you

 

Staring You and Kim Jongin

 

 

 

 

He was always by my side,

Always.

 

People already left me, broke me, hurt me, but he was the only one who made me smile through his silly remarks and playful character.

 

 

It was a warm afternoon in the park, the park where we always met. He, Jongin texted me to come  meet him up in our little rendezvous, and here I am already waiting for him for about 2 hours.

 

This past few days, I’ve noticed that There’s this thick wall between me and Kai, he had been ignoring me lately. Yes, we may have ate lunch together and Went home together but everything was different, He was really

 

Distant…

 

I’m afraid, he’ll end up leaving me also.

 

 

The moment I’ve always dreamed about breaks down
And after everyone I believed
Would stay with me, leaves.
 

Those words kept on repeating in my head, pain creeps, heart-Sticken I fell silent, I waited.

 

After another 30 minutes I saw Jongin walking leisurely to my direction. He has his bag slung lazily in his left shoulder, his tie in a mess, and his first 3 buttons left open. I’m not used to the quiet Jongin, I ‘m used to the loud, outgoing, and enthusiastic him. He changed, for good.

 

“yah-“ I greeted him weakly.

 

His aura was different. He doesn’t act like this before.

Before he would be the one greeting me With full Enthusiasm, he would be the one who’ll open up a conversation, He would the one who will give his Big smile and brightens up the day.

 

You, who came to me
who was full of loneliness and hurt.

 

That was all I can see now, a really changed Jongin.

 

“let’s end it – right here, right now.” Words finally went out his mouth, Straight-forward,  words like dagger that pierced to my heart. IT HURTS so much.

 

“What?” I asked with full puzzlement and shock,  “Jongin do-don’t Jo-j-joke around anymore, It’s not funny okay?” I added and fake a laugh trying to avoid what was going to happen.

 

He just looked at me with seriousness, His eyes, it’s not the same anymore, it was full of pain, regret, and sorrow.

 

“Let’s go home Jongin-ah! It’s already late..~” I tried my very best to act happy, to act like nothing is going to happen. I know what was going to happen, I know sooner or later I’ll be hurt

 

Again.

 

This scene, I’m used to it, I know this. HOW painful will it be feeling and experiencing it again.

 

I tugged his uniform, he didn’t move, I Hold his hand and pulled him with me, he didn’t budge. I didn’t noticed that tears was slowly sliding through my now pale cheeks.

 

 “jongin.. Jongin..Kim Jongin-ahh..” I looked so helpless and weak, I kneeled in front of him still holding his hand afraid to lose him like everyone else did.

I felt his Cold soft hands brushed mine, he held it tight.

 

“Don’t leave me please, Jongin.” I sobbed “Can’t you hold my hand, I need you now, please don’t leave me.” I looked right into his eyes.

 

He tried to pull my hand away, I held it tighter than before, he was my life my happiness I can’t let go. “----your name---- let go, please.” He begged.

 

I acted like I didn’t hear him at all. He tried to ask me to let go of his hand but I didn’t , so He has no choice but to pull my hand away from his. After that I felt a pang of pain struck me. Our only Connection, he let it go.

 

He started to walk away from me, leaving me miserably on the ground crying like a lunatic. I still hoped that I can stop him, that I can let him stay.

 

I stood up and backhugged him tightly, He was taken aback from my sudden action. I buried my face in his back, I felt his warm body, hearing how oddly he breathe in and out, I felt a tear dropped in my hands,  was he crying?

Maybe no.

 

 

I don’t know why he’s doing this. Was he perhaps… tired of me?

 

 

“ we can still…” I stopped and hiccupped “ we can still work this out, I don’t know why you’re doing this to me, but I’ll find a way…please don’t--” before I can finish  my plead I was stopped,  

 

“- -No we can’t. I’m tired of you already,” he harshly pulled away from the hug and walk away hurriedly.

 

Right then and there.

I have stopped believing, I have stopped hoping that someone will permanently stay in my life. Everyone will someday leave, no one  will always stay.

 

 

This is the end of my story.

 

How I wish Someone will come to my life and hold me forever,

 

But it’s

 

IMPOSSIBLE

 

I need you,

 

But you don’t need me.

 

 

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OKay>? sooooo boring?