Sigh No More

Written by Savvy

"Love: it will not betray you, dismay, or enslave you. It will set you free."

BEFORE READING: Please note that this particular story is religious. I wrote it this way because it is something I feel strongly about. DO NOT THINK that I am trying to force my religion upon you because I AM NOT. If you do not like the context of the story, then you do not have to read it. However, if you have an open mind, I hope that you will. Please do not judge me for the way I think, because I will not judge you for the way you think. Okay? Please enjoy.

It was one of those days one wished they had a photograph of. The sky was an abnormally gorgeous blue, free of clouds. The grass was vibrant green, soft and tall, as it scratched against his ankles while he trekked to the top of the hill. There was a happy crunch sound in his walk, as if the fields were welcoming him.

However, Jinki didn't feel as joyful. Somewhere during his blissful walk, his mind began to realize that all this beauty was too good to be true. A sinful human like him didn't deserve such a day. He didn't deserve the comforting warmth of the sunshine or the exuberant singing of the birds or the calming breath of the wind. He didn't even deserve life.

The only thing he deserved was the only thing he feared: death.

You see, Jinki hadn't lived the best life. His mother and father gave up on him when he dropped out of high school. He was tired of being controlled and only wished to be free. So he went off on his own. But without a steady job, he couldn't pay for rent and utilities. So he started stealing things and pawning them just to make ends meet. He sold drugs in the alley. And through that, he made new friends.

He cursed like a sailor. He drank like a fish. He partied every night. He lied. He slept around with girls and boys alike. And he didn't care. That was the main thing: he didn't care that he was throwing his life away. He didn't care about anything except his own satisfaction. More than anything, he was looking for love to fill the hole his parents had left him with.

But he was looking for love in all the wrong places.

He wouldn't see it in a drug. He wouldn't hear it in the night. He couldn't taste it in the wine. He couldn't smell it in his own adrenaline. He wouldn't even know love's touch in a one night stand. So when was the first time he even began to think of trying to feel it by looking upwards?

It must have been that guy who helped him home last week. The one who had found him passed out in the gutter late at night. Jinki had been slightly embarrassed that a stranger had seen him in such a vulnerable state, but he was calmed when the man began telling him stories. Stories of spiritual warfare between the angels of heaven and the demons of hell. Stories of a superior being who recreated himself in flesh and sent his son to save the sinners of the earth. Stories of how the only thing separating him from salvation was his sins. But these weren't ordinary fairytale stories. The man assured him they were all one hundred percent true. 

"I swear to you. Everything I've spoken is the truth. And it's all been documented in the Bible. I'll leave this here for you with my number written on the inside cover. If you ever want to know more about what I've told you about tonight, then you can read this and call me if you have any questions."

And over the next four days, Jinki read the Bible, cover to cover. He read more truth about salvation and good always defeating evil. And he believed the stories wholeheartedly. There was only one thing he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around.

It was the same though he was having as he stood on the hill. What made him deserve to live? What made him worthy of being saved? The Bible had said that all humans were sinners and deserved death. And Jinki had decided that he was the worst sinner of them all.

And as he stood on that hill, the grass withered away and the landscape became very dark. Suddenly, the hill below him ripped apart, causing him to fall down, down, down into the darkness and into the heat. As he reached the bottom, he felt his whole body grow numb. He was now chained, unable to move a muscle. All he could see was the darkest darkness he'd ever witnessed...but he felt them, slowly rising to meet his body. The flames. And he could do nothing but scream in the agony. Scream in a terrorizing dissidence against so many other screams around him. Weeping. . Gnashing of teeth. And over all that, Jinki heard a cry. "Dip your finger in the water and cool my tongue, because I am being tortured in these flames!"

"My Lord!" Jinki cried out, fighting helplessly against the chains. "Please help me! I don't want to spend forever here! I know that this is what I deserve, but please! I'm sorry for all the wrong I've done! For the stealing! Lying! Hatred! Cheating! Cursing! Drinking! Please forgive me for all of this...I will stop at once! I want to be a better person! The person You wish for me to be! The person You MADE me to be! I believe with all my heart that You are the One who can save me from all this! Please, Lord! I'm begging you!"

And all at once, it grew silent. The flames were gone, replaced by the soothing breeze. But Jinki still couldn't move. He was down on his knees, his arms covering his head.

"Look up, My child, for you are free."

A lightness in his soul lifted Jinki's head up. He was back on top of the hill, the only heat coming from the shining sun. Jinki stayed there on his knees, throwing his hands up to the sky. "My Lord, from this day on, I live to serve You. I will live to satisfy You, rather than myself, because You are all I need."

It was an intervention so divine that day on the hill, as Jinki found just the kind of love his soul had been searching for all along.

Listen to the song here.