“That’s it for today guys. Time to go home and get some rest, tomorrow is gonna be a long day. Remember to be in the studio at eight!!” Toru put his guitar aside and looked at his colleagues who simply nodded at this unnecessary reminder. They didn’t forget that from tomorrow on the recording for their new album started and it got a little annoying that the leader told them about it almost every day. No one was ever late for recordings in the studio and no one ever forgot about the time but the blonde still needed to inform them about such things daily. Maybe it was just for himself so he wasn’t the one to forget? They didn’t ask, simply because it would only lead to a stupid discussion.

“Toru, you’re going there by car, right? Could you pick me up on your way?" Taka had this pleading lost-puppy expression on his fine features and even if the leader would have gotten the idea to reject this question, one look into the shorter's deep brown orbs managed to definitely leave him without much of a choice. Of course Toru would never say no to such a plea of his best friend and because the other's home was on his way to the recording studio it was quite logical for him to pick the vocalist up. They always did it this way so he didn't even know why Taka bothered asking.

"Yes I am and why shouldn't I give you a ride? I always do that when we have to go to the studio or did you forget?" He ruffled the curly hair of his friend for a short moment and got his bag after everything was packed. Their two friends were already finished collecting their stuff and said their goodbyes before heading out of the practice room.

"Of course I remember but it's more polite to ask first and it's not impossible that you might not be able to pick me up because of whatever reasons." The vocalist nodded at his own explanation and grinned at his taller friend before lifting up his own bag from the couch. They went to the door and Toru locked it behind them before they headed out of the huge building.

"Since when do you think about acting polite?" The blonde couldn't help this question and grinned teasingly at the elder who pulled a face at him and growled playfully.

"I'm always polite!" This simple sentence made the guitarist burst out in laughter and even the soft hit against his shoulder couldn't stop him. It felt good to fool around and tease his best friend like that because the past days once again had been full of stupid thoughts and restlessness. Toru told himself to let this weird feeling pass by and to ignore it but it was quite hard to do. Every time Taka only mentioned A~chan he felt his chest tighten and the unreasonable jealousy washed over his mind. The blonde felt bad about himself because he really wanted to feel happy for his best friend and it was awful that he couldn't bring himself to be honest about what was going on. The vocalist had asked him several times about the reason for his sudden weird moods but he always managed to avoid telling the truth. He knew he should probably talk with Taka about it, maybe they could figure it out together. But every time the guitarist planned on mentioning it something came up to keep him from talking. In reality he simply was a coward and didn't dare to speak up about this topic, of course every chance to avoid pouring his heart out was very welcome lately.

"It's mean to make fun of me but I think it's even more rude to space out all of a sudden. You know, in some way I'm glad if you start this teasing lately because it means you feel okay but it's really quickly that your mood changes again. I don't like the expression that you're constantly wearing these days. Even if you don't tell me a damn thing, I still notice something is going on." There was the topic once again and Taka had this serious sound in his voice that immediately made sure he wouldn't back off easily this time. The vocalist want to know what was up with his best friend and would find out, one way or the other.

"I told you several times that it's okay and nothing for you to worry about. Believe me, it's not that big of deal." The same reaction as always but now the shorter male seemed to get angry about this fact and his normally cheerful deep brown orbs darkened a little. Taka stopped in his tracks without a warning and grabbed the blonde's wrist to make him pause, too.

"Enough! This isn't some kind of joke or game, Toru! I'm not asking out of politeness but because I am worried. Maybe you haven't notice because you’re always spacing out, but I have been watching you the past days and you can tell me a hundred times that it' okay but I won't believe you anymore. You're my best friend and I care about you a lot more than you might think so cut the crap. Every time I ask what's going on you push me away and tell me you manage this on your own but you clearly don't." Toru was absolutely confused by his friend's sudden outburst and the angry glare on the elder's fine features. It was rare to see the curly haired man pissed of like this and the guitarist didn't feel happy that he managed to get him in this state.

"I know and I'm sorry but I can't talk to you about it. I'm just...confused lately and try to figure out what's up with me. I never intended to make you worry. It’s gonna be okay, promise.” The guitarist hoped for his friend to calm down again and that he wouldn’t be forced to talk about his feelings. He didn’t want to accept that he seemed to have deeper feelings for the elder than he should have and this scared him a little. Also he didn’t know how to deal with it if he would decide to accept it.

“I know this wasn’t your intention but still…I can’t just silently watch this anymore! Maybe you didn’t expect me to notice it but this strange behavior of yours started exactly the next day after I told you that I’m dating A~chan. Does this have anything to do with it? If so, tell me and for god’s sake be honest about what kind of problem you have with it. I’m not that blind, you know.” The guitarist felt caught and barely managed not to jerk because the shorter male hit the bull’s eye with a scarily convinced attitude. Somehow he felt like there was no other option than telling his friend about his slight struggles with the new and unfamiliar situation but there were those stupid doubts lingering in his heart, telling Toru to shut the hell up about this topic and to keep on playing it down.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you being in a relationship. Why would I have any problem with this? I’m truly happy for you and A~chan is a really sweet girl so I wish you all the best. When you told me about it I was only a little shocked because I didn’t expect this at all. And for the other thing…there’s nothing you could do to help and I’m not going to complain to you about whatever is going on at the moment. Like I said, I’ll deal with it on my own and you should wrap your thoughts about more important stuff.” Listening to himself the blonde almost believed those words to be true and honest but deep down he knew it was just a silly masquerade to get away from his own confusion. Telling Taka that it was fine for him might’ve made it okay again, at least that’s what a very naïve part of his brain wanted to believe. The vocalist looked up at his best friend, frowned and suddenly lifted his arm to softly punch the younger’s shoulder.

“Right now you are the greatest idiot on earth and even though I’m not completely convinced that this is the truth, I’m gonna believe you and will shut up about this. I can tell you to talk to me all I want but if you refuse to, I’ll have to accept it. Besides, I’m damn tired and not in the mood for an exhausting discussion so I’ll head home and hit the sheets. When you’re in trouble, talk to me and don’t dare to keep this “I’m the leader and have to protect everyone”-attitude. That’s all I’ve gotta say for now and with this I wish you a good night, sleep well.” The curly haired male acted as if he was in a better mood again but his eyes clearly showed the disbelieve and doubt he had towards Toru’s explanation. He wouldn’t give up this easily and even though A~chan told him this was like the perfect proof for her plan to be successful, he felt like this whole act should’ve never started. Telling his best friend not to lie to him and hiding something himself was actually giving this discussion a very bitter aftertaste. Taka could only hope it wouldn’t get messed up any more.

“Mh, okay. Even though I’m not having this kind of attitude but I got it. Now get going and have a good rest. See you tomorrow at work.” Toru smiled at his friend before giving him a short hug, then they parted ways and each one of them headed to their own place. Not aware of the fact that their thoughts were occupied with nearly the same subject.

Arriving at home Toru slipped out of his shoes and only got a glass of water from the kitchen before entering the living room. The glass was put down on the low table and the blonde let himself fall down onto the soft surface of his comfy couch, closing his eyes with a deep sigh. He saw Taka’s face before his inner eye with the angry expression from before. The guitarist knew he kinda disappointed his best friend by not telling him anything and he also knew the shorter male was right, he was pushing the vocalist away in some way. He didn’t mean to and actually he would prefer to pull the other closer but how to do that without revealing his feelings? This thought came to his mind completely without warning and Toru sat up quickly while opening his eyes again. Revealing his feelings? What did he mean by that? What kind of feelings did he…hide? The blonde felt completely stupid for not being able to figure this out by himself and even though he knew he would totally regret doing this, got his phone from the table. After hesitating for a slight moment he finally dialed the familiar number and pressed the phone softly to his ear. A part of him hoping that the other end wouldn’t be picked up but he knew he needed to talk to someone. Otherwise he might take ages to get what was going on lately.

“Yo, Toru. What’s going on bro?”

He was close to hanging up at this greeting but managed to keep himself from doing that and let out an annoyed sound instead. Why exactly did he decide to call this weirdo again? Must’ve slipped his mind that he would have a complete idiot at the other end…

“Alex, shut up and stop this stupid way of talking or I’ll hang up again. I didn’t call to be reminded of the fact that I’ve befriended a lunatic.” The blonde sank back against the couch und ruffled his hair with his free hand while listening to the slightly choked laughter at the other end.

“Oh dear, you are in a kind grumpy mood today as it seems, huh? So, my friend, what’s the reason to call me at this hour?” The American quickly switched to his sane-mode and Toru simply ignored the still slightly playful sound of the other’s voice. He knew it was a bad idea to call their ex-guitarist but he had to admit that Alex was the only person he knew who might be able to give him a helpful advice. Maybe. If the elder was in the right mood and mental state.

“I know I’m going to regret this sooner or later but…I…kinda…wanted to ask for an advice.” He wanted to hang up so badly right now and just pretend this never happened because he was supposed to be the leader who managed everything and didn’t come crawling to his friends for help. Even though he seemed to be a little over dramatic these days and started over thinking the most trivial things. Okay, he was a mess and a little desperate after this talk with Taka. The other one knew it had something to do with A~chan and even the blonde’s explanation didn’t seem to change anything about this fact.

“I knew this day would come! I’m all ears, tell uncle Alex what’s bothering you and I promise I will do my best to make the worries go away~” Yes, it definitely was a bad idea to talk to the ex-guitarist.

“That’s not very helpful. Stop making this even more awkward, would you? Do me a favor and be serious at least for ten minutes!” This was going to be a quite long night of explaining and trying to avoid explicit questions but maybe Toru would come out a little smarter than before and that should be worth the effort - hopefully. Alex wouldn’t make this and easy talk and of course he would want to know what it was all about but the leader definitely wouldn’t mention anything too obvious. He wondered if the “I have a friend and he…”-method would work? But his friend was too clever to fall for such stories. Alex was the master of stupid tales and knew if someone told the truth or not. He might be a childish weirdo most of the time but he was just as sharp and attentive. After his friend agreed to behave from now on Toru took a short breath before trying to explain the situation properly without going into detail, praying that Alex wouldn’t figure him out right from the start.

-to be continued-