"Time for school, Zelo!" Heeyoung clicked the shutter, a smile lighting her face as she watched her sixteen year old son, shrieking with excitement, scoop up a handful of snow and wrestle with his dad, trying to put it down his neck. 

Bang Yong Guk obligingly let out a shout of mock terror and then swooped to pick Zelo up, swinging him high in the air.

That would make a great picture, Heeyoung thought to herself. Such a shame to spoil their fun, but Yongguk had to get to work too.

"Hey, you!" she spluttered, laughing as unexpected snowball caught her on the face. "That was wet!"

She picked off the snow and threw it back at a gleeful Zelo "Come on, you monster. Let's get going."

Heeyoung grabbed his gloved hand as he ran past her. "If we hurry, you'll able to make a snowman in the playground with your friends."

"Don't think there'll be enough for that." Yongguk dried his hands. "Right, I'd better get going. Have a fun day, Zelo....."

He planted a kiss on his son's head, and pulled Heeyoung towards him, "and you, my lovely wife, make sure you have a good dinner waiting for me when I come home." He nuzzled in to her neck. "And it could be your lucky night."

"You reckon?" Heeyoung's eyes sparkled, holding him close, savouring the moment. 

"Get to work, you chancer.." she playfully pushed him away, "and earn us some money, then!"

It was a short walk to Zelo's school.

"Hold on tight to my hand," Heeyoung instructed, "the pavement's quite slippery." 

She smiled to herself, picturing Yongguk driving into town, listening absently to Zelo's chatter. She would cook something special tonight, get a bottle of wine she could even put on her little black dress; she hadn't worn that for ages. 

"There you go." Zelo shrugged off her quick hug, eager to get to the playground where lots of children were already making the most of the night's snowfall. "Be good. Love you, baby."

Back home, Heeyoung the radio, made a coffee and started to write a shopping list before changing to go to supermarket where she worked part-time. The doorbell made her jump-ah, the postman, probably the book she'd ordered for Yongguk for Christmas.

She opened the door with a smile of anticipation on her face. It wasn't the postman. It was a policeman and woman. 

"May be come in??"...and in that instant her whole world was shattered. There was a roaring in her ears, like surf in a storm. She looked blankly at the grave faces. What were they saying? She could see their mouths moving but couldn't make any sense of the words. 

Someone was screaming. "No! No..." She realised it was her own voice, her heart pounding so hard it hurt. She couldn't breathe. Her legs had turned to water; she felt herself falling.

It seemed a long time later she was sitting in a chair, icy cold, feeling sick and drained, a steaming mug placed in hands that were shaking so much she couldn't hold it properly. 

"Is there someone we can call for you?" the policeman asked gently. 

Heeyoung obediently took a sip of the sweet tea, looking out of the window, looking anywhere but at their apologetic eyes, noticing the sun was shining, the snow had all gone. 

Zelo would be so disappointed...and then it hit her, like a bolt of lightning shooting through her; the pain unbearable. Oh, God it was all true. Ice on the road, head-on collision tragic accident. Yongguk dead. 

Looking back three weaks later, she couldn't believe that she'd got through it all so unreal, a bad dream that she didn't seem able to wake up from. The still, silent Yongguk looking so normal lying in the hospital, his distraught parents, clinging to her the funeral, all the sympathetic caring faces, so many people who had loved him. 

Trying to explaing to a white faced Zelo that his daddy had gone to heaven, but  would always love him and watch over him. 

"But where is her? Where is heaven?" Zelo was cuddled up on her lap, looking out of the window at a gleaming moon in the dark sky. 

Heeyoung took a deep breath. "You see all the stars? Now look for the stars? Now look for the brightest one..."

Zelo strained his eyes. "Yes, yes I can see it that one, over there!"

"Well, that's your daddy, making sure you're safe and smiling down at you."

She hugged him to her, struggling to hold back the tears she so wanted to believe it herself. 

It was Zelo's letter to Father Christmas , asking for just one present his daddy to come back that broke her. She'd tried so hard to be strong. The huge sobs tore at her. She buried her face in Yongguk's dressing-gown how was she going to get through Christmas, carry on without him?

The school was preparing for their Nativity play, Zelo was going to be one of the Three Kings. Heeyoung made him a cloak out of a velvet curtain and cut out a cardboard crown which he painted gold, his tongue peeping out as he carefully stuck on coloured beads, and practised his lines. 

"I'm taking frankincense to the baby Jesus," he said importantly. "What's frankincense, Mummy?" 

"It's a special perfume, very expensive. Jesus will love it." Heeyoung rubbed her eyes tiredly. How she wished she could just go to sleep and not wake up...but then Zelo was shaking her.

"Mummy, help the beads won't stick."

She picked him up and held him tight, taking comfort from his warmth. "We need some of Daddy's special glue, don't we?"

"I know where it is I know where all Daddy's special things are; he told me." He climbed off her lap and ran excitedly to the bureau.

Oh Yongguk. Yongguk, I miss you so much. 

Yongguk's mother was going with her to the performance it was goign to be hard for both of them, the first of the many school activities without him. They sat in the school hall filled with proud families, the  tableau set up ready on the stage with fidgeting shepherds and a donkey looking suspiciosly like a reindeer waiting for the Kings to arrive. 

A determined Mary sat upright violently rocking her baby, ignoring the prods from the elbow of an embarrassed Joseph as the first King in a tartan blanket crept up, and shyly handed her his present of a gold bracelet. 

"Have you come far?" Mary asked, admiring the bracelet on her wrist. 

"That was for Jesus," the boy said accusingly, the scuttled to the side and stood stiffly, his job done. 

Heeyoung clutched her mother-in-law's hand as a beaming Zelo marched on carrying a brass pot. 

"Have you come far?" Mary busily unwrapped the shawl from her baby and inspected its nappy.

"I travelled all night following the star."

Zelo pointed up to the big gold star hanigng above them ,watching interestedly as she tutter and adjusted the nappy. Heeyoung felt tears pricking the back of her eyes he was word perfect. 

"Oh, how nice." Mary re-wrapped Jesus neatly and proceeded to bang him on the back. "and where is my present?"

Zelo was staring up at the star intently, his forehand creased in a frown. 

"You've supposed to give me a present," Mary insisted crossly.

A huge smile suddenly lit up Zelo's face as he turned to her. "That star..." his voice was loud and clear, "that star it's like my daddy he showed me."

He gazed into the audience until his shining eyes found Heeyoung. She smiled at him brilliantly through her tears. She and her son. Together they would be all right; together they would find the way.