#3 : Sisters -- "Assumptions."

Starring Taeyeon and you. Written in Your POV.

When can I be as good as her?

Being all good, how can she even understand what I face?

      Taeyeon is her name. Having a lot of good friends, she is well-known to be very outgoing and very amicable. When she takes things seriously, she can do a very good job in everything she is given. If there is no one to take charge, she will voluntarily lead and never disappoints. Getting praised every single time for doing well academically has never made her look down on others. Well, to other people of course. To those close to her, she can sometimes tease around and boast jokingly for being smart. 

     Taeyeon is none other than my very own older sister. She's someone I really look up to and every time I see her, I wonder if I can ever be as great as her. I, on the other hand, am not as smart as her but I make a lot of good friends in school. Just that I feel my friends are different from hers. My friends are very materialistic and we fangirl a lot. Like, really a lot. Dramas, k-pop, handsome guys are all the topics that we talk about. 

     "AHHHH! Can't wait for their comeback stage later!!" One of my friend will squeal. "Oh my god! My bias list is so going to be ruined. But, still... My Zelo <3"My other good friend will continue to worry about her bias list. "Yah! Zelo is my third husband. Don't you dare steal him from me!" I will join in the fun, protecting my long list of husbands I'm 'married' to. That's how I have fun with my friends.      

     However, it was never the same with Unni. When she talks to me about her friends, she will tell me about their family, their dreams, their problems. I realized then that Unni's friends were very open to her. And they talk about the future realistically with each other. Mine do not. Honestly, I don't really know much about my friends like their worries and all since we always talk about superficial things. I have no clue about the things that really matter. Nonetheless, we hang out together every single time. 

     School is getting tough with the major exams coming and our own co-curricular activities (CCA) reaching the peak period. I have never felt so busy in my life before and with all the expectations of me performing well, I always think about how hard it is for me to just be a student. Taeyeon Unni who is in high school, still can go home with a smile on her face and even talk to Mom casually about her day. How does she even do that? Once I reach home, I feel so tired I don't even want to talk to anyone. Straight into the room I go and I will try to complete my homework after watching a few fun videos on my own. There were a lot of times where I take a seat in front of my table and breakdown. I complain in my head, cursing life and saying how it will be nice if I don't have to go through all this. After that, I cry. I cry my heart out as quietly as I can so Unni won't notice. 

     Losing the motivation to go school, hoping something bad will happen the next day so there's no need to go to school and having the freedom to go out with my friends as much as I want without getting scolded are some things that I will think about every time I have a breakdown. I imagine how good it will be if I can enjoy my life now and not be restricted by school. How exactly I wanted to enjoy life never really passed through my mind. I just want to get out from the busy life I'm living in. Back then, I thought crying was the best way to relieve stress but I realized it is not after Unni stepped in. 

     "Dongsaeng-ah! You've got to look at this video! The baby is mega like super cute!" Unni merrily chirped as she entered the room. She knew that something was wrong as soon as I didn't respond and saw my head down with my shoulders jerking up and down. 

     "Aigoo!~ Dongsaeng-ah! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Unni tried to comfort me as she sat down beside me. 

     I refuse to answer her. I don't see the point of telling her when she will just say to me the politically correct answers as always. We live in two different worlds and why will I bother to make her understand when she won't get how I feel anyway. 

     "Ahh!~ I thought you got over it already but you leave me with no choice. I saw what you wrote on my post-it pad. And, I'm just going to leave this here." Unni simply replied. Then, she left. 

     Still sobbing, I looked up at what she left behind and it was a few pieces of post-it notes stuck on my table. I tore sheets off and started reading what she wrote. 

     To my dearest sister, 

     This is the first letter I'm writing to you. Sorry in advance for being super lengthy but please read it to the end! Wanting to die you said? That's some harsh words you wrote there. Why won't anyone understand me? Have you even tried making someone understand you? Look. I admit I wasn't a good sister for not listening to you sometimes. But, I really want the best for you and I do want to help. I know you try to hide it but every time you cry in the silence, it hurts me too. It is okay to cry but you have to face the problems head on. It's no use just leaving it at the back of your head all the time. It's healthy to say it out. I'm willing to listen. If you try to tell me, at least I can try to understand what it's like to be in your shoes. Of course, there's a limit to how I can fully get and feel what you experienced. But, hey, no harm trying right? 

     I'm not sure if you feel intimidated by who I am and all the achievements I have so far. If you do, just know what important is that I am your sister. I don't want you to suffer just because of who I am. I want you to find your own strengths too. Each of us have it and it's a matter of time and effort before we discover what we're good at. I found mine and you will find yours too. Why bother comparing to me? You are a good person and you know it. You don't have to put down someone else to be happy. Is that even happiness in the first place? Trust yourself. I trust you. 

     You're my only sister. Dongsaeng-ah, you can do this! HWAITING!!~ You know that I love you right? Saranghae, nae dongsaeng <3

     Tears rolled down my cheeks yet again. However, this time, it was tears of relief. I was relieved to know that someone was willing to listen and it turns out to be my sister whom I thought will be the last I will share my problems to. Aish! Why must Unni be so good at everything? Still, I'm happy to have her as my sister. After I calmed down a bit, I walked over to Unni's room. It feel as though she was expecting me. It was just like her; so confident that things will work out. 

     "Come here!" Unni spread out her hands. Without hesitation, I jumped into her hands and was greeted with warmth that felt so soothing. It was a hug that I needed badly. The direct personal touch of someone who is caring for me is all I need to fully enjoy life. How lucky must I be to have a family that's willing to try to understand me. The problems that I face suddenly look so small to me. I just need to face it head on like what Unni said. I finally could understand how crying is never the solution. 

      Crying doesn't change anything. It's like having water filled to its brim. Crying helps to let the excess water dropped on the surface to run off. However, it will be at its brim. It's still full. And it's never going to reduce. Once I talk it out to people I trust and gain advice from them, it will then start to reduce. I will only overcome the problem once I empty the water completely. 

     Even though it wasn't by choice, I'm glad to have Taeyeon as my Unni. What a blessed life I have. In the end, she isn't like how I thought she is. Only after we try to understand each other will we know who we actually are and not what kind of person we are like. 

   "Come here!"

Pictures not owned by me. Credits of the picture goes to Internet and the world wide web. :] 

Thank you again for reading! Jeongmal kamsahabnida!~ ^^

Hope you enjoyed the short story! :)

I have two sisters and this story was inspired by my own experience with my sisters. Really thankful for my sisters! Hehe. 

Anyway, hope you guys are watching the show 'Appa, Eodiga' ! I fell in love with it. And yeah, I spread the love for the show with my family. Now we watch it together :D Can watch it here for subbed episodes. 

Do comment & subscribe! Let me know what you think of the story and see you readers soon with another short story!~ A cute, happy one perhaps ^^