# 2 : Friends -- "Ugly much?"

Starring Yoon Si Yoon and you (Park Shin Hye). Written in Your POV.

Loner. I didn't ask anyone to leave me alone.

Yet, I will always be alone. 

Why? How can everyone be the same?

Am I that ugly? 

    Some make friends easily, some take their friends for granted while some treasure their friends dearly. As for me, just having friends is a privilege. Befriending someone and making that friendship last has always been my far-fetched dream. It has been years since I stepped into school and it took me quite a while before I could accept that I was a loner. I wonder if I can be a step closer to my dream with my next opportunity; high school. It was not what I wanted to be but I ended up being the loner in class every year. Is it because of how I look? Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I can't stop questioning if it was because of my face that people don't accept me.  

     "Who doesn't have a group?" The teacher always ask. Without fail, I will be the one raising up my hand. At first, I tried my best. I look around to find people whom I can work with but no one meets my glances. As I approach a group of three, the usual tactless reply is heard once again. "Sorry, we have enough people already." Lies. I always end up being the last one without a group and I will be randomly assigned to a group by the teacher. From the faces of the people around me, I could figure out what they were praying in their head. "Oh, please don't let it be my group." And when the teacher has made his or her choice, I will reply back in my head, "Serves you right. Now, you have to work with this unwanted person." Since people refused to communicate with me, I resorted to telepathy, hoping it works but of course without any expectations. Nothing changed time after time and I simply gave up trying. Why is there a need to try looking for someone who can accept me when it will end up as a failure every time? From then on, I took on the habit of raising my hand asking my teacher's permission to tank the whole work myself or assign me to any random group every time there's group work to be done. I guess my behaviour must have been very odd since I'm always called by my homeroom teacher every single year rambling on about the same few things. They start off by giving me compliments but it always end up with - "It'll be nice to see you try to mingle more with your classmates." Oh, how much I tried. Yet, everyone feel that I'm the one at fault. Well, it doesn't look that way to me. How is it my fault to look like someone that will be rejected by everyone? Why do people not like me? Isn't that their problem, not mine? 

     During assembly, every class lines up in the auditorium in pairs. I'm always early so I used to take the first seat but when the bell rings, I should have prepared myself for the worst yet. "You sit down ah.""No, you sit." It was clear even without me seeing it. My classmates were pushing each other forward to take the seat beside me. I sniffed my clothes and myself. I made sure I smelled fine. Why then? The unanswered questions started to appear in my head. Someone finally sat down and despite their obvious actions, I felt slightly happy to have a partner during assembly even for a short while. Starting a conversation was never so hard. I glanced beside me to try to capture her attention but to no avail. She will be either listening intently to the speaker or just look down to read her book. She's not purposely avoiding me, right? Let's just think that way. 

     Day after day, the conclusion I derived was that how my presence was making it difficult for my classmates. And so I decided to not take the first seat anymore. After I waved goodbye to my dad who sent me to school with a forced smile, I made my way to the toilet. Well, it was the best place I could resort to. Going to class early will just upset my other early classmates too. In the washroom, I can have the whole cubicle to myself and people won't be disturbed so long they don't see me. It was like a safe haven to me. 

     RING!~ That marks the start of assembly and together with the rest of the students making their way to the auditorium, I blend in carefully. I will be the last one to sit at the back after the rest of my class has settled in. At the back, alone, I figured out that is the place I am to be. The whole hall will be filled with noises, laughters and the discipline master always have a hard time to make us quiet. I will be at the back observing everything. I wonder where people got their energy so early in the day. Every time everyone get scolded for being noisy, I will not be affected. I was very sure that I did not contribute any slightest noise. Without a doubt, my mouth close shut as it found no purpose to voice. 

     Because of all this things, I ended up being who I am now. The anti-social, awkward, quiet girl. High school is going to start and I still have no guts to make friends. How are friends suppose to be? Is it suppose to be like how I am with my close cousins? I guess my cousins accept me for who I am because we are related by blood. We are family and so they have no choice. However, the people whom I will be meeting for the first time do have a choice. They can accept or reject me. Acceptance. That is one huge word, don't you think? I long for the feeling of acceptance. 

     It's the first day of high school. I view myself in the mirror. I look okay to me but how about the others? Will they still dislike how I look? I may not be very pretty but I don't think I am ugly either. What if people think I am ugly and that is the reason why people don't want to approach me? Wait, I should not think like this anymore. I continuously remind myself to dispose of all the negative thoughts. It's not time to be paranoid. High school is another opportunity for me. I will be meeting people who don't have a slightest clue about me. I can still make friends. I CAN! I CAN. I can. I can…

     My strength ooze out of me as I step into the new environment. The smile my dad gave me was not much help either. Fear starts to creep my mind and thoughts filled with negativity breaks through whatever positive thoughts I had left. There was no hope. People are all the same. They will hate me for no reason. I am just a hateful person and I should just accept this fate I am tied to. As I was slowly drowning in my own thoughts, I felt a nudge on my shoulders. 

     "Excuse me, do you know where the hall is?" A guy with slightly curly hair asked. I blanked out. Is he seriously asking me a question? Out of all the dozens of people around him, he actually chose to ask me. This cannot be happening. My lips parted, ready to say words but nothing came out. The guy waved his hand in front of my face. Seeing how I gave no response, he asked me another time. "Do you know which orientation group you are in?… Come, let me show you." Without my permission, he dragged me by my hand to this board plastered with name lists.

     "Name?" I stared at him blankly. "What's your name?" He asked again. "Shin... Shin Hye." I finally spoke before I gulped. "Park Shin Hye." I couldn't explain how I was feeling. Tears were forming without me realizing and I couldn't avoid them from streaming down. Yes, I cried in the midst of the bustling people trying to find their name on the list. "Hey! We are in the same orientation group!" I heard him exclaimed. "Yay!… Oh my god! Are you okay? Why are you crying?" He went up to me briskly to console me. I shook my head and tried to signal to him that I was alright. 

     After I cooled down, I finally said to him, "Sorry. I was… just very happy." Instead of being stumped by my comment, he just laughed it off easily. "Let's not cry on such a good day and just have fun, ok? I will be with you." He positively replied. I couldn't help but smile. The day I was waiting for when someone will reach out to me has finally come. I never felt so thankful before in my life.

    "Oh right! I haven't introduce myself yet. I'm Yoon. Shi. Yoon." He pronounced each syllable accurately and ended with a huge smile. "I hope we'll be good friends!" He extended his hand. Should I shake it? No, how can I be so sure? But, it's rude to leave him waiting, right? Before I could even make a decision, Shi Yoon grabbed my hand and place into his. 

   "And this is how you shake hands." He bluntly explain. Someone like him does exist, huh?

    As we shook hands, a lot of things went through my mind. Yoon Shi Yoon. This guy I just met is very important to me and I don't think I can ever forget him. I mean, he's my first friend in a very very long time. I just have to be myself around him. That's how friends are made right? Two people knowing and understanding each other's differences and similarities. But then again, what if he finds me ugly like everybody else later on? What if he is just really friendly? That means he can find a much better friend than me! Will he leave me alone? Will I be a loner here once again? Just then, I realized that it will be a non-stop mental war for me. No doubt it will be very hard to get rid of my inbuilt fear. But now I know I want it gone. I don't want to be the paranoid girl anymore. And I just hope and really really hope I won't get tired fighting away the negative thoughts. Someone said this before, if you can dream it, it means you can. Please, just please don't let me be the one guilty for ending this friendship I just built. 

No more hiding. It's time to put down the label I previously tagged myself with. 

Pictures not owned by me. Credits of the picture goes to Internet and the world wide web. :] 

Second story finally up! I wonder if I was being too emo. But I wonder if paranoid people actually think like that. Maybe worse than how I imagined. There's a limit to what I can understand from one's experience. Still, I hope you enjoyed the short story.

Ouh! And this story reminds me of the just completed drama, Flower Boys Next Door. Did you guys watch it? Go watch if you haven't! It's a super sweet drama with a comic feel to it. :) *thumbs up!*

Thank you again for reading! Jeongmal kamsahabnida!~ ^^

Credits to my current good friend for the main gist of the story and I hope people will try to accept other's differences and similarities. Just a simple action to help will make a huge difference :)

Let me know what you think of the story and see you readers soon with another story! Maybe I will try writing from a different perspective. Do subscribe and comment! <3