The roar of the crowd doesn’t die down one bit as we exit the stage and everyone has the look of tired satisfaction on their faces again.  Another concert successfully completed with no injuries or incidents.  I head to the dressing room on my preferred mode of short distance travel – a Daesungie piggyback.  There aren’t a lot of dates left on the tour now, and I’m going to take every opportunity I can manage because it is just so comfortable.

As we enter the room, I hop off and we are whisked away by the noonas so we can change, pack up and be ready for the flight back tomorrow.  This is my least favorite part of concert days.  I love concerts - being able to connect with fans, even though it means being a little more publicly goofy than I’d like, is amazing, because they’ve given us so much, everything really.  But post-concert is a struggle for me.  I want nothing more than to eat something delicious, drink something mind-numbing and gradually come down from the adrenaline rush with only my most trusted people around.  Instead we have to take care of all the formalities – greet the sponsors’ guests, pose for the requisite proof pictures and sign autographs for the most outgoing of the backstage visitors.  I know it’s all part of the package, but there are days like today where I just want to be able to sling my arm around Daesung while sitting in a booth, sipping a glass of excellent shiraz and watching Seungri practice his pickup lines on the female dancers. 

But today isn’t too bad, it’s a bit of a whirlwind actually, and I find myself in the van with Jiyong and Youngbae on the way to the private club before I even realize it.  I realize belatedly that Daesung isn’t in the van as well, but he’s probably on the next van since my dongsaengs all know that Ji and I are the most greedy about getting out of the venue.

The club is nice and low-key since it’s closed down for us, so it’s easy to relax and just be as our people filter in.  I’m well on my way through my third glass when I finally spot Daesung walking in behind Seungri.  I give him a wave so he can see where I am, but I don’t think he saw me because he heads straight for Youngbae who is in the middle of some sort of drinking game with his B-boys.  Hmm, that’s a little different, but maybe Daesungie has plans to get a little tipsy tonight – if that’s the case, then I am not complaining or interrupting.  I probably shouldn’t be drinking too much, because I’m still on the medications the doctors gave me for my hand, but I figure, as long as this hand is bandaged, I deserve a drink.

Another glass empties before I realize that he never came to find me yet.  Maybe he is really involved in the game, so I decide to take a look.  I walk over to their table, I can see a stack of shot glasses upside down in front of Daesung – looks like he’s losing, which means I’m winning.  As soon as I stand behind him and put my hands on his shoulders, Daesung stands up and says he’s gonna grab a drink at the bar.  He walks away without even looking at me, and now I’m wondering what’s going on.  It probably didn’t look like a big deal to anyone else, but something was up.  I start to follow him to the bar, when I see that he is heading for the middle of the dance floor with a neon colored drink in his hand.  Now I know he’s avoiding me.  He knows I won’t go on the dance floor, well at least not right in the center of things where everyone can see you at all times.

If he wants his space, that’s fine, I’ll give it to him.  Did I do something?  I can’t think of anything weird that happened since the end of the concert.  Actually, now that I think about it, Daesung didn’t really talk with me after the concert either.  I didn’t think much about it, but he wasn’t standing next to me in the pictures we took with the visitors and he most definitely did not give me a shoulder massage as we waited for the clothes and all to be packed up in the dressing room.  Was it something that happened during the concert then?  I did try to take off his shirt again today, but that’s nothing new, I do that at half the shows.  Did I do something or say something stupid earlier today?  As much as I think about it, I have no clue, I can’t think of why he’s acting like this.  As I drain my glass and wait for a refill, I watch him, dancing with seeming abandon, and decide I’ll just confront him later.

…