Too far from the reality that is life.

Everything seems so peaceful and beautiful every time Jonghyun sets his foot on the shore. The sea breeze lets him breathe easily. It lets him forget about being a busy teenager even just for a bit. The sight of the welcoming sea reflecting the endless sky’s color calms his eyes and for a moment he can believe that the world has something naturally wonderful to offer.

At a tender age of 17, he must be experiencing the best things that life can offer. He should be enjoying school. His family should be supporting whatever it is that he decides to pursue. He should be playing sometimes, too. He should be adoring and be adored by somebody. He should be giving and asking for a friend’s advice. He should be enjoying life.

If only money could buy everything that he wants to have then he could say that he is complete. Handsome, smart, talented, rich, these are a few of his assets. He is almost an epitome of a perfect boy. Everybody envies him, his siblings, his schoolmates, his friends but what is there to be envied by the way? He looks so perfect outside but he is hollow on the inside. Never in his life did he felt happy, satisfied, whole. He does things according to the liking of his parents, he is only allowed to be the best among the rest, he always is but never did his parents acknowledge it. Given that he can do anything he’d want as long as it won’t degrade their family name and so he never thought of doing what he thinks he wants. People only adore him because they see him as perfect. They befriend him because of everything but his personality. What is his personality anyway? He isn’t even given the chance to find who he really is because it is not on his parents’ plot. Everything in his life is forced, scripted, fake.

How pathetic of him to not know his own self.

He wonders how people can be happy. As long as he can remember the sea is his only source of comfort and happiness. When life is kicking hard he always finds himself lost in his paradise. He’ll do nothing but stay there until he sees the sunset. He knows that the silence is short-lived, when he wakes up the next morning he will wear his mask again. He needs to be flawless. He is sure of one thing though, he is a good actor. But it is really tiring, and he is glad that the sea will always be there to catch him.

It has been 3 hours since he entered his little paradise. The sea is calm ever since, small waves are crashing to the shore and sometimes it hits his foot. He feels like the sea is trying to embrace him and is washing all of his worries away. So cold, so clean, so gentle.

And then another batch of small waves reaches him.

And another.

So gentle.

So gentle.

So—

“Ouch! What the!”

Something hard hit his left foot and it really did not hurt but he was shocked. When he looked down he saw a glass bottle. It is weird that there actually is garbage on the water but what is weirder is the paper inside the glass bottle. Is this some prop from a set of a romcom movie? Or is this from a person stranded on a desert island?

There is a sudden gush of excitement as Jonghyun grabs the bottle and swiftly removes the cap. It took a long time to pull the paper out because the opening of the bottle is small. After 15 minutes he is finally able to take the paper out. He placed the bottle on his side and immediately opened the letter.

The words are written in a not-so-straight manner and are barely in between the blue and red lines. Some of the letters are overlapping too. The words are also written by pencil so Jonghyun concludes that the writer is a child. The message made him smile because it is cute and it seems so sincere.

Please be my friend!

I’m in the House of Little Angels in Nam-gu, Busan.

I will wait!

- Minki

---

Jonghyun really thinks that Minki is serious when he wrote that he’s waiting. Jonghyun thinks that Minki’s a “he” because Minki is a name for boys. He researched for House of Little Angels and saw that it is an orphanage in Nam-gu, Busan. All of his doubts then vanished when he knew that there really is a place like that in Busan and he immediately headed towards the city on the first day of his school break. He doesn’t know why but he is really excited to see Minki. The kid must be as cute, if not, then cuter than his penmanship.

The ride took long since Kangreung isn’t really near to Busan but as soon as he set foot in Busan the weariness automatically dissipated. He went to a toy store first and bought a fluffy teddy bear. Even though he thinks that Minki is a boy, the kid could still be a girl, so he just bought a cute toy that will complement Minki’s cuteness.

He rode another bus and walked a bit before he reached the orphanage. Unlike how he imagined it, the place is lively. Children are carefree running around, oblivious of how filthy the world is in Jonghyun’s eyes. The trees are blooming signalling that spring is about to come. The sun is on its peak too since he arrived at 1pm but it is still cold, traces of the past winter still visible. Even though it looks like the children are in a chaos he doesn’t find them annoying, which is not usual because the sight of his well-behaved schoolmates annoy him to the bones. The road he is taking leads to a cream-colored building. He went inside and as he turned the first corner he bumped into a nun.

“Where are you heading to, young man?”

“Good afternoon, Ma’am! I am looking for someone.”

“And who is he?”

Jonghyun grabs the glass bottle from his backpack and shows it to the nun.  “I found this in the shore in Kangreung, Kangwondo, Ma’am, and this has this place. I mean, this orphanage is written here. Look.”

The nun reads the letter and shows Jonghyun a smile. “Come here young man, your little friend is waiting on the garden. Let me take you there. By the way, what is your name?”

“I’m Kim Jonghyun, Ma’am.” he replied with a small smile on his face. It felt so weird to smile without forcing himself to do so. This place is so warm despite the cold weather. For once Jonghyun feels that he is really welcome.

“You know Jonghyun-sshi, Minki is very special.”

Before he can ask the middle-aged nun why, she is already running towards a blonde person. Realizing that that person might be Minki, he immediately follows the nun.

“Minki-ah.” the nun said as she tapped the person’s shoulder.

Jonghyun can’t believe what he actually saw when Minki turned around. Is he a boy? Or is she a girl? But moreover he is pretty sure that Minki should be 5 – 7 years old. The Minki in front of him right now is about his age too. And Minki seems not to notice him as he/she stares directly in front of the nun. “This can’t be.”

Minki then focused on Jonghyun. Their eyes met and Jonghyun could swear that Minki’s eyes are the most pure of all the pair of eyes he’d seen. “Who are you?”

It was then that Jonghyun knew that Minki is a boy. He has a voice far too deep for a girl but not too deep for a boy too. And he has that bump on his throat too. But then Minki is so beautiful. And he isn’t as well-built as other boys too. Minki blinked as if waiting for his reply but Jonghyun couldn’t find his voice all of a sudden. Thank God the nun saved him as she answered Minki’s question.

“Remember the glass bottle you made years ago? He got it!”

Minki smiled so wide that his eyes twinkled and Jonghyun suddenly felt that his face had gotten hot. “So, you mean, Mother Hye-Kyung, that he’s here to be my friend?”

“So you are really the one who made this message-in-a-bottle thing?”

Minki nodded as he offered his right hand. “Yes! And I’m glad somebody saw it! I’m Minki, and you?”

“I’m Jonghyun.” he replied as he gladly shook Minki’s hand.

“So Minki, Jonghyun, I’ll leave you here, okay? Just call me if you need something.” the nun said before she left the two alone.

Minki made room beside him on the bench he was sitting on and invited Jonghyun to sit beside him. Jonghyun, although reluctant at first, sat down beside the beautiful blonde boy. He is tensed, it’s not everyday that he talks to people, moreover introducing himself because he has never done that before. He has no real friends anyway. He observes the blonde and noted that he has big round eyes, small pointy nose, perfect heart-shaped lips and a flawless baby skin. When he realizes that he is bluntly staring at Minki, he quickly looks away and lightly slaps himself. He heard Minki laugh and when he looked at the blonde again he saw that Minki’s looking at him straight on the eyes again.

“Where did you see my message, Jonghyun-sshi?”

“Kangreung. That’s in Kangwondo.”

“Oh. Is it far from here?”

Jonghyun can’t not notice how cute Minki is when he is asking. He always tilts his head to the side and a small pout forms on his lips, not to mention the way he blinks in a very cute way. Jonghyun wouldn’t know that he was spacing out again if not for Minki calling him again. “Oh, oh yes. It is. Don’t you know where it is?”

“Never did I go out of here, Jonghyun-sshi, or else I won’t be able to come back.” Minki stated, a bit of sadness evident in his voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, it’s okay!”

They went quiet again. Then Jonghyun suddenly asked when and why Minki did a message-in-a-bottle. He had learned that no one really wanted to talk to Minki when he was little because he was strange. They wouldn’t let him join the games. He might break, they said. He looked too small and too fragile that the kids were afraid that they might hurt him. He was crying on the same garden sometime 10 years ago and Mother Hye-Kyung saw him. She gave him a pencil, paper and bottle.

“Send this to the sea and the waves will lead this to a person who will be your best friend. That person will make you happy and will protect you at the same time. Don’t be sad anymore, okay?”

“I really didn’t stop waiting Jonghyun-sshi, and I’m glad that you saw it. My penmanship isn’t pretty, right? I’m sorry.”

“But you were 7 back then! When I was 7 my penmanship’s as bad as yours. I’m sure you write well now!”

“Maybe.”

They chatted for a while when Jonghyun remembered about his little gift. He took the bear out and hid it behind his back.

“I have a small gift for you! Since I don’t know your gender and age I brought an inappropriate one. But hope this will do.”

Minki smiled and opened his hands. Jonghyun put the bear between the slim hands and Minki smiled wider. “I think this is cute! I’m sure this is cute! And this is so soft. This is the first gift I’ve ever received from another person aside Mother Hye-Kyung. Thank you Jonghyun-sshi!”

“You’re welcome! I’m glad you think that looks…” Jonghyun paused. He wondered why Minki needed to think when it is already in front of him. Maybe he just used the wrong word. “I’m glad you liked it!”

“No. I love it! I love this.” Minki said as he snuggled the bear to his face.

“I’m really glad you loved it.”

“Jonghyun-sshi.” Minki said as he placed the bear on his lap and looked into Jonghyun’s eyes again.

“Yes Minki-sshi?”

Minki seemed to hesitate for a moment before he raised his right hand. “Can… Can I hold your face? I want to know how you look like. You must be very cute because your voice is very cute, too.”

Jonghyun’s eyes grew wide as realization hit him.

That’s why the words weren’t aligned.

That’s why he hadn’t notice Jonghyun when he first stood in front of him.

That’s why he didn’t know if he wrote well.

That’s why he imagined the bear’s face.

And so he held Minki’s hand and led them to his face. Minki’s hand sent fire to his skin. It’s the first time he let someone touch his face. Minki’s hand slowly grazed over his forehead, then his eyebrows, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his lips. When Minki removed his hand from Jonghyun’s face, Jonghyun yearned for the warmth. He attempted to get Minki’s hand again but the blonde suddenly spoke.

“You’re not cute!”

“Eh?”

“I think you’re a handsome young fella.”

Jonghyun wasn’t able to say anything because he was too stunned to speak. Many have said that he’s handsome but he believes in no one, not until Minki says it. He trusts the blonde’s words more than he’s trusted anyone and it was scaring him at first. Then he wonders if the blonde knows that his eyes are flooding with emotions Jonghyun has yet to see in other people’s eyes, the sincerity, innocence and strength. Emotions Jonghyun thought the human race have lost.

“Jonghyun-sshi?”

“Minki-sshi, I believe you. I’m glad that’s how you perceive me. I really am.”

“You’re weird.”

“But I’m telling the truth Minki-sshi. Do you know that you are beautiful?”

“What’s with that? Of course I know! Mother Hye-Kyung tells that to me always. When I wake up, when I smile, when I help her in taming the children, before going to sleep. You just don’t know how many times I hear that.”

“And you believe her?”

“Of course! Jonghyun-sshi, the world doesn’t only offer problems and bad people, you know! You cannot live alone, if you do that you’ll break and it’ll be bad! Nah, you’re too much of a loner I guess? Well, not anymore! I’m here, and you responded to my friend request, so whether you like it or not I’ll be your best friend.”

And Jonghyun was speechless again. The boy in front of him doesn’t know about his wealth, his grades, his looks, he barely knew anything about Jonghyun either, but he declared himself as Jonghyun’s best friend. “It’s not like I have a choice, Minki-sshi.”

“And so you need to trust me, Jonghyun-sshi.”

---

Jonghyun felt like he was a whole different person when he left Busan after a week-long stay. He promised Minki that he’ll come back and he’ll bring him in Kangwondo too.

He stands on the sand again but he doesn’t feel like ignoring the world anymore. There’s no use in running away and secluding himself apart from the filthy world. He still sees his annoying schoolmates, his parents still treats him as a robot, but then he doesn’t even mind a bit.

He no longer wonders how a person can be so happy. All he needed is someone who’d be able to see through the mask.

And then there is still hope. 

---

Unorganized. I just typed everything that pops LOL sorry.

OH YEAH HAPPY 1ST ANNIVERSARY TO NU'EST! T^T I'LL BE A STAGE NOONA FOREVER.

nowplaying: B1A4 Baro (feat. Miss A Min) - Just the Two of Us