Back To You by Josie

I recommend you listen to the song, it's a really great song and it inspired me to write this.

 

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You could see him clearly, though the distance was not yet too far or close just enough for you to look at him without him knowing or feeling your presence.

 

It’s better this way. You thought as you sighed, seeing him again, the feeling is different and unexplainable. It was mixed raw emotion; happiness, sadness, regret.

 

So many things whizzing around your mind as you continued to watch him.

 

Him.

 

Choi Junhong.

 

Just being in the same establishment with him was suffocating yet relieving.

 

After five years you finally saw him again.

 

After five years of living soulless you found you’re light again.

 

After five years of hell like experience for you.

 

You saw your salvation…

 

The person who kept you going, who kept you alive in the dull world you live in you call life.

 

Emotions washing over you as you continued to stare at him.

 

Everyone in your neighborhood thought that the two of you would end up together seeing as the two of you were inseparable, the two of you did everything together. 

 

Everyone in your hometown thought that the two of you would grow up and get married since they thought the two of you were an item since both of your family were close and they seem to approve the both of you for each other.

 

But things change; plans don’t always go the way you hoped.

 

Flashback

 

‘Junhong-ah!” You yelled as you were running towards him.

 

The said boy turned around and looked at you a beam across his face.

 

“Yah Choi Junhong! We’re gonna have fun this Saturday since my parents won’t be home till the afternoon of Sunday.” You playfully hugged his arm as you explained it to him.

 

“And what makes you so sure that I’ll come by your house?” Zelo said as he looked at yougiving you a questioning gaze.

 

“So… You won’t? I’m sorry.. I didn’t know you had plans.” You said, disappointment can be noticed at your tone of voice as you unlatched yourself around him.

 

You were about to walk away with your shoulders slumped and a sulked aura around you is noticeable.

 

A hand suddenly enclosed around you and that familiar addicting smell surrounded you.

 

He was back hugging you.

 

“Who said I won’t agree, you didn’t even asked me yet.” He said with his voice suddenly becoming husky making your breath hitch and butterflies erupting.

 

He turned you around so that you were facing him and there was no distance between your bodies, hands still around your waist.

 

Looking at his eyes with a stunned expression was the only thing you could do.

 

To be honest with your feelings you find yourself falling fast for this boy whom you knew since you were a child.

 

Seeing him looking at you with those eyes you came to love every time they stared down at you, it brought chills down your spine that makes you think if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

 

“Yah, still there.” He shook you a little bit seeing you were again zoning out.

 

“Ah.. Yeah I’m fine.” You said shyly as your heart still left your body seeing it beat like a hundred miles per second.

 

“So ummm, yeah, can I expect you this Saturday?” You asked rubbing your nape since it made you

 

Junhong gave you his soft smile , the child like gentle smile that you loved.

 

The smile you knew that was only for you.

 

For you.

 

It was only meant for you and you hoped it stayed that way.

 

Forever

 

 

It was the day your parents left you all alone.

 

Your best friend was nowhere to be seen.

 

And as if the weather God was mocking you it decided to let it rain, but thankfully not the hard kind of pouring rain just the harmless one nether less a rain.

 

To make it all better all your plans with spending time with your best friend under the warm sunshine of afternoon was now down on the drain.

 

 It dawned to you that you had nothing else to do so you dragged your sulking self to the outdoor gazebo in your backyard.

 

It was a pretty Japanese style gazebo with distinguished simple lines, complimenting the white canopy that is harmonized with the white mattress.

 

It created a romantic atmosphere; though you discard the thought seeing it was yours and Zelo’s favorite hangout place in your home.

 

Sighing you didn’t care if the rain was seeping through the couch or your clothes it gave you a sense of calmness in some way.  It was weird but it did. It also gave you time to sort out yourself seeing there is no distraction and such.

 

Sorting out yourself means sorting out your feelings.

 

Your feelings towards him.

 

Him.

 

Junhong.

 

I am really crazy, seriously thinking about my feelings in this kind of situation. You thought as a hoarse laugh left your lips.

 

With you deep in thoughts you didn’t felt his presence.

 

Your mind only reeled you back to reality when he put his arms around you.

 

Gasping as your sense was on haywire. Though skin ship with him was natural, you still couldn’t ignore that you finally acknowledge the fact that you are indeed in love with him.

 

You almost forgot to breathe since shock and surprise mostly dominated your sense. You didn’t expect him to still come at you.

 

His warmth radiating makes you forget that it’s a cold September day.

 

He suddenly smiled at you, it was his smile for you, not caring about his hair bangs sticking to his forehead and that he’s getting soaked right through the bone. No he didn’t cared, you also didn’t.

 

You didn’t even know what was happening around you, simply him being around you made you forget what was happening around you it may sound cliché but it was his effect on you.

 

No one spoke a word, the silence was giving you both comfort on that afternoon, seeing  that no one wanted to stand up you only stared forward seeing the sun setting down was something you promised to yourself that you would never forget the moment, the moment you were sure of your feelings and hopefully he was too.

 

 

He drew you closer to him tightening his hold on you.

 

Hopefully this is the answer to my nonexistent question. You thought.

 

End of Flashback

 

 

Sighing you sat still at the café seat which was about three tables away from his. 

 

You saw his smile.

 

The smile that held comfort in them.

 

Smile, smile the same smile I haven’t seen for a while. I wish you would never go. You thought

 

“I don’t know where we went wrong all I know is that what I love is gone.”  You recited the favorite line in the book you recently read.

 

Where we went wrong….. We both know where we went wrong. You silently thought to yourself as a tear came sliding down your face while a pained smile graced your feature. Wiping it and looking sideways and thinking that it was all your fault.

 

Flashback

 

 

It was about a month when you hinted your feelings towards him and surprisingly he confessed to you.

 

You still can’t get over it. Reminiscing on how it goes was like a habit you now formed.

 

It was like a repeat of the day your parents left you.

 

He broke the silence and confessed and poured his heart out.

 

You broke into tears and replied a ‘I love you too’

 

And what made you bawl your eyes out were when he replied to you a ‘Forever”.

 

It was like everything was finally in place in your life, like nothing could go wrong and destroy the precious moments that you lived in.

 

But you stand corrected.

 

Nothing good last forever and you realized that the hard way.

 

 

You knew that your boyfriend was yearning to be an idol and you supported him with that. You were on full support with that since you knew it was his dream and who were you to get in the way. But then a simple phone call changed it all.

 

In your case your parents were expecting you to study abroad, you always seem to put it aside seeing that your life was here in your hometown, he was in your hometown. So you simply didn’t bother with the thought of it but graduation being near you thought about giving your resume seeing you qualified and you thought it was worth a shot since you had nothing else to loose.

 

Speaking of graduation you both were deciding on what university you would both go. But lately you seem to notice that Junhong had other plans seeing you haven’t saw him submit his qualification to any university; it was getting you worried but you still respected his decisions you so you decided to just ignore it plus you trust him.

 

After three weeks when you submitted your application, you received a phone call saying that you were accepted in Colombia University, located at New York which is a school for arts and you plan on pursuing Creative Writing.

 

Ecstatic about the news of being accepted you decided to call Junhong and tell him the news.  Telling him the details on where and when the two of you should meet up, you decided to celebrate with your parents delivering them the good news.

 

Upon arriving at the hill where the two of you always played at. You saw him with his body looking a bit tense, worry crept up your form as you neared him.

 

“Junhong-ah.” You silently approached him and sat quietly next to him.

 

Pulling your knees up to your chest you looked up the sky

 

What a silent night. You thought. Oh how wrong you were when he decided to drop the bomb and break the silence.

 

“I’ve been accepted at TS Entertainment.” He said in a low quiet voice.

 

“That’s great you’ll be an idol! Your dream will come true. I’m so happy for you Junhong-ah.”  You cheerfully said as you looked at him though he is still looking at his lap.

 

“I guess we both have good news, I just got a call this morning saying I got accepted at the university I applied for.” You said as you smiled towards the sky, a content look plastered at your face.

 

“Be happy and forget about me.”  He spoke in a low voice yet you couldn’t miss the slight croak in his voice.

 

Your happiness right now came crashing down at his statement.

 

Your world came crashing down.

 

Your heart came crashing down being broken into millions of pieces.

 

“What do you mean?” You asked carefully as tears were now silently flowing down your face.

 

“It’s just that I’m scared, I’ll leave you and you’ll do the same to me, I’ll go hardships so will you. Will not be seeing each other plus it’s forbidden to have relationships. I don’t want to burden you and we still can’t guarantee that I’ll debut and be famous to give you the life you deserve…While… I know you’ll soar high in your life because you are simply amazing.” He said as he lowered his head and you just can’t miss the tears that were flowing out of his eyes.

 

“ Yah Junhong-ah stop saying things like that! We’ll work something out! We’ll still be together.” You said as your voice kept hitching and you weakly hit his arm.

 

He only shook his head as he continued to cry.

 

And you only continued to look at him as tears kept cascading down. Your tears now turned into suppressed sobs as you put the back of your hand in your lips while you still kept registering his reasons.

 

 

“It’s not enough reasons for me to stay away from you. It’s not! Junhong-ah stop being unfair please!” You broke down as he pulled you into his arm, weakly your hand and pounding it in his chest.

 

“No, please don’t do this to me, I’m begging you… Don’t leave me.” You said as you kept crying and bawling like there was no tomorrow.

 

“I’m so sorry, I really am…. I love you please remember that.” He said as he tightened his hold around you and kept crying.

 

After a few minutes he finally loosened his hold on you and cupped your face and  kissed you.

 

He kissed you so softly that it felt ghostly in your lips.

 

He kissed you softly with the message of how sorry he was.

 

He kissed you softly pouring out his feeling.

 

And you couldn’t help it…. You kissed him back with the longing you felt..

 

“Goodbye.” He suddenly broke the kissed and left a simple kiss in your forehead before leaving you all alone.

 

A few meters away from you he broke down and slumped at a wall and cried his eyes out.

 

While you…

 

You continue to sat there as you bawled your eyes out.

 

As you kept thinking how everything is unfair.

 

How love is unfair.

 

How life in unfair.

 

It was unfair. You thought

 

End of Flashback

 

I wish you knew the way back to me …. I wish you knew the way back to me. You thought as you saw him laughing heartily.

 

You remembered your friends from your hometown. When you got back to your parents’ home you decided to meet up with them.

 

And they all asked you what happen between you and Junhong it still brought bittersweet memories to you but you only smiled and shrugged at their question.

 

It was still like an arrow through your heart when they talked about him

 

It hurts but the pain you felt slowly became a pleasure to you.

 

It was just weird for you.

 

Junhong suddenly stood up from his seat making you snap out of your thoughts.

 

You thought it was the perfect time to talk to him so you stood up collecting your things.

 

But something made you halt.

 

As you saw him nearing the exit you saw a woman who beamed at him and kissed his cheek as she threw her hands around his neck.

 

You saw a ring.

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DONE!!