It was a windy day. The storms could be heard and lightning could be seen on the grey skies. Rain dropped onto the face of the earth, as though releasing all its held back tears. It was not a perfect day to celebrate every-girl’s-dream ‘Sweet 16’ birthday party. 

The birthday song was beautifully sung by 4 very handsome men, as the guitar was played by one amongst them. They harmoniously lead their voices to combine with each other’s, making even the simplest of songs, sound so wonderfully uplifting. A woman sat with her daughter, in front of a very large cake. Tears could be seen in her eyes as her daughter blew out the candles. 

All of a sudden, it was dark and amongst them, there were soft noises of shuffling. 

“Turn on the light Hyung Jun”

“Hey, I can’t see as well, how am I supposed to turn it on?”

“Hyun Joong hyung,” a man named Jung Min suddenly raised his voice, “stop playing the guitar. Help us!”

As a lightning strike was seen, followed by a roll of thunder, none of them dared to speak any further. Instead, Hyun Joong stood up and lit the candles – once again.

“Arongee,” his voice filled the silent room, “This is from your father. Happy birthday”

“Which one?” the girl enquired jokingly.

“Your real one”

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Dear diary,

It’s dark outside as I sit on my desk, scratching my head and digging deep for some sort of revelation. I need ideas, I need to write, I need to express myself. It was difficult digesting what the doctor revealed. 7 days, at most. 

I’ve decided to write a journal, a record of the occurrences in my life. No, I’m not usually a person who spends hours reminiscing my old days, nor am I someone who likes to cherish those cheesy moments, I’m just a father who’s intention is none other than letting his child know more about him. 

If I’m lucky, I may be able to see you. If I’m lucky, I may be able to caress your small hands. And if I’m lucky, I may be able to call you “My baby” before I depart. 

7 days of my life.
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Day 1

It’s finally the start of a new day. I woke up to the irritating beeping noise coming from the machine standing beside me. Though it doesn’t tell me the time, I still like to call it an alarm clock. It wakes me up on a daily basis, right on time. Sometimes, 
I feel like pushing it out of the room, or maybe throwing it out the window, but then, innocent people might get hurt and the last thing I want is for people to be injured all due to a selfish reason, my selfish reason. 

Hyun Joong came today, all dressed up in his tuxedo, ready to walk down the aisle. I wondered why he even bothered to visit me. At first, I had thought it was some sort of a secret weapon to make me feel all the more worse than I already feel, but something in his eyes told me otherwise. I just knew, from years of friendship, from years of brotherhood and from years of inexplicable bond, I knew that he only meant good. 

I wish him the best of luck in his marriage. Well, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him today, but I wanted to sincerely thank him. Thank you for being my saviour, friend!
I plan on spending my day alone. I plan to sit on my bed and stare out the window while I allow myself to drift off to another world, a world unbeknownst to anyone but me. 

Child, you may be off my blood, but Hyun Joong will always be your dad. Without him, you may not be where you are now. Without him, your mother would not have had the courage to forget the bitter past. And without him, I wouldn’t have been able to peacefully leave this dimension. 

It’s all because of him. My dearest, my one and only...
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Day 2

I hold your mother’s wedding album in one hand, and the other, I use to write this entry. Your mother’s smile brightened my day. She was beautiful and for once, I almost regretted sending her away to Hyun Joong. But this is all for the best. This is all fate. 

I could not hold the laughter as I saw your mother in a wedding gown. Her stomach was round and seemed as though it would blow up at any given moment. I wish I was there. I wish I was the person who walked her down the aisle and I wish I was the person who gave her hand to Hyun Joong. 

But of course, wishes only remain as wishes. Reality strikes once again as I realise my situation. I’m in no condition to laugh, I’m in no condition to smile, let alone raise my hand to write you a piece of my mind. How could I possibly attend the ceremony?

But I’m content. I’m happy and I’m thankful. 
Child, if ever you feel the need to blame anyone for this decision, you could put the blame on me. It was my selfish choice. 
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Day 3

I had a dream last night. A dream the sweetest of my lifetime. 
There was a child-which I could not help but assume it as you- with long hair, running around a green park. The wind blew in her face as her hair tied free from all her active actions. I remember her running towards me, and into my arms. She was delicate and so gentle. 

If ever I was given a wish before my time comes, I would wish to spend a day with you. I want to run in the green park, I want to have you running into my arms for the warmest hug. 

But child, my time is nearing, and I, for one, do not think a genie will do me this favour.

Hyun Joong is a great man, I believe so. Appreciate him and never hate on him. 
Your mother, too, is a woman of great character. 

Love them. Love them both. But never fail to love me too, for I am your father.
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Day 4

The sun rose earlier today than any other days. It was a great thing for I would not have to be alone for a longer time. They came to visit me today, both your parents and a few of my closest friends. I’m sure you may know them. In fact, you might be as close to them as I was. Treat them well, and as you read this, send my warmest regards to them.

I love them more than I love myself. I could never have imagined asking for such a great gift. It’s funny the game fate plays. We all came from different backgrounds, lived a completely separate life, and as though planned out, the 5 of us came together. 

Cherish your friends, child. Cherish them as much as you cherish yourself. Because without them, you will not have the strength you have today. 
Remember.
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Day 5

Today was different. I didn’t wake up to the annoying beeping sound. Instead, the flock of people surrounding my bed shocked me. It had been long since this happened, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to it. I felt people touching me all over, feeling my body, poking me here and there with something. It was quite painful, but I was used to it. 

Now, I sit on my bed, writing my last words. 
Child, the world you see, is not the world I know. I may be years gone, but some things will always remain, things such as love and sincerity.

You may be bored now, having read a few entries of nothing but mere advice from a person whose presence you haven’t even felt. But it’s the least of my duties I could carry out. 

Life. What is it to you?

You may wonder upon the question. Wonder for a while – a long while – for it is a question which even I could not answer. I am nearing my deathbed, yet, till today, I do not understand the meaning of it. 

Child, life is a wonder. Something mysterious, something so tiring but for some unstated reasons, you can never have enough of it. 
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Day 6

According to the doctors, you will be borne in a few days’ time. Oh how I long to see your sleeping figure. How I long to carry your tiny body in my arms. 
But I’m sure all your uncles will be there to welcome you in this world. I may not be there, but I have them as my representative. Don’t blame me for my absence, I have sent better people in my place. 
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Day 7

Today...may be the last day.

The end of my life.

Were you able to answer my question?

Life. What is it?

I have given it a thought and I found myself answering it with an answer so simple, yet, so true.

Life is simply being able to breathe in oxygen, it is simply spending the time you were given with people you love, with people you adore and with people you basically couldn’t part with. 

That is what life is to me. Being able to be with the people I love. 
--------------------


“He died that day...the same time you were born” was all Hyun Joong managed to say.


The three other men started to cry. Emotions released at the remembrance of their dear friend. How they regretted their joy at seeing a newborn baby. How they regretted rejoicing a new life, when one – the dearest to them – had ended. 

The girl, surprised and emotional, closed the ancient looking journal as she looked at the face of both her dad, Hyun Joong, and her mom. She wanted an explanation, but couldn’t bring herself to ask further. 

“What was his name?”

“Kim Kyu Jong”