Kris jumped at the ball of loose yarn on the sofa, his claws making small scratches at the red fabric.

"Kris!" Chanyeol yelped, stooping down to pick up the tabby kitten, cutely gnawing at the string on its paws. "How many times have I told you not to scratch that-- and Kyungsoo, would you stop leaving your knitting kit everywhere? This is NOT my sofa, and Baekhyun is gonna kill me."

"Don't discriminate against my sacred knitting kit," Kyungsoo sniffed. He stared warily at the string in Kris' mouth, because the last time he tried to pry his yarn away from the kitten's mouth, he had bit and scratched him before giving a satisfied meow. Chanyeol had freaked out more over his precious kitty's nails ("Your skin is really tough, Kyungsoo!") than the bleeding injuries on his friend's hand.

"Really, I don't know what Jongin sees in a manly woman like you," Chanyeol pointed out, earning a good, hard slap on the shoulder by the knitter. Meanwhile, Kris meowed softly, paws still tugging at the yarn string whilst snuggling its fur against Chanyeol's warmth.

"It's the food he makes," Jongin said, sidling up from the sides and putting his chin (a tad painfully) on Kyungsoo's shoulder, peering at Kris purring like a machine underneath Chanyeol's hand. Of course, Kyungsoo dealt another smack, this time to his boyfriend.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Kyungsoo snapped, pouting at the newcomer only to have him grace his mouth with his lips. Chanyeol's hand automatically moved to cover Kris' poor, -feline eyes whilst the kitten mewed.

Chanyeol cooed at Kris as he carried him away from the still lip-locked couple: "Ignore the two idiots in love, Kris. I bought catnip for you the other day! Aren't I the awesomest owner ever?" He tickled his kitten's belly and Kris slit his eyes at him affectionately and stretched, yowling.

Kyungsoo pulled away with a frown, diverting his gaze after Chanyeol and his pimp-kitten's retreating figures towards the kitchen. Jongin simply raised an eyebrow.

"Chanyeol treats that furball like a princess. If only he could apply that to people, maybe he'd finally get someone."

At that point, Kai cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered: "DID YOU HEAR THAT, EGGS? SOO SAID YOU SHOULD GO AWAY AND GET A BOYFRIEND-- ow!"

Jongin rubbed at his sore spot (which Kyungsoo had fatally struck TWO TIMES in the past minute), pulling his most pity-me-big-eyes expression on his boyfriend. That expression had stopped working on Kyungsoo after the sixtieth time, so.

Chanyeol turned around, glaring at the two. "I CAN TOTALLY BAG ANYONE I WANT, THANK YOU!" He shouted. "I just choose not to!"

"Yes, because the only one you want to 'bag' is your kitten," Kyungsoo remarked dryly.

Jongin burst into hysterical guffaws, despite the pounding, sore spot on his arm right now. Chanyeol had the shame to flush, adjusting those hideously large glasses of his and fixed Kyungsoo with a glare.

"Don't say such crude things about Kris!"

Kris, in all actuality, seemed to look almost amused at the humans' bickering (those clumsy two-legs. Although he did hold a slight affection for his owner's awkward movements. Like one would for a cute, idiotic puppy). He swatted his paw at Chanyeol's flushed cheeks playfully as his owner flailed his other arm around while trying to reprimand his friends for saying "such vulgar things around the ears of my pure kitten!"

Kyunsoo frowned, face contorting into a look of slight concern.

"If you keep up your spastic windmill imitation, and you drop your precious feline -- not my division."

Jongin snickered at Chanyeol's paled face, the giant's arms halted from its hysterical motion whilst he looked down at Kris with wide, injury-detecting eyes. The kitten, clearly amused, simply mewed cutely, his eyes half blinking adorably back at its owner as if to say, Wow you are such a dork.

Meanwhile, Chanyeol had started his usual fussing over his kitty.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry for almost dropping you - I didn't mean it Kris!" He pressed his kitten against his chest, snuggling his face into the soft warm fur and rubbing his cheek against Kris. Kris curled up against him.

"That is not a normal cat, I swear," Jongin said. "I don't think cats usually allow themselves to be handled like that."

"I don't know," Kyungsoo said, his wary eye-stare still on his face. "Anything that has been in close contact with Chanyeol shouldn’t be called normal."

"Wait... Then," Jongin began, brows furrowed. "That means we're not normal--"

Kyungsoo laughed humorlessly, before patting his boyfriend and getting up of off the couch.

"Not we. Only you, honey."

The shorter male proceeded to head towards the kitchen, and side-stepping the borderline display ahead with care, as if it was a mine bomb that would set off he would just ever so slightly brush against it.

Jongin gazed at Kyungsoo's retreating back, mind suddenly full of sparkly stars because his boyfriend had never called him 'honey' before. Usually it was just 'you stupidly tanned idiot' or 'unsanitary oaf', said with a tinge of affection and a lot of exasperation, due to Jongin leaving pieces of food littered all over the floor whenever he ate.

Kyungsoo, ignoring his boyfriend's wide-eyed adoring stare, tried to go into the kitchen to pour himself a mug of steaming coffee. Key word was tried to. Because Chanyeol, with his kitten still wrapped in his arms, was also heading towards the kitchen. Kyungsoo immediately stepped back, wanting to keep at least a 2-feet radius from Chanyeol and his cat (who had homicidal-like tendencies when Chanyeol wasn't around. And Kyungsoo swore that he had eyes that can your soul out).

Finally reaching safe haven, Kyungsoo proceeded to do his morning ritual, looking up now and then towards the KrisYeol cat-human couple in case they came any closer, because Kyungsoo didn’t want to be part of it and he was legitimately the only normal person here. Jongin still wore that dazed expression, and the latter wondered if he was lacking on sugar.

Simultaneously, Chanyeol busied himself with smothering the kitten with coos and smiles, and Kris, being pampered and treated like some cat god, purred in satisfaction.

"Ew." Kyungsoo commented quietly, before taking a sip of his hot coffee.

This was actually pretty routine for him. Kyungsoo still felt like vomiting rainbow crap, though, whenever he saw Chanyeol doting on his kitten. And this was the real reason he was never able to snag a human boyfriend (yes, the 'human' had to be put in there). Because really, he had dated people before and this was how it usually went: his boyfriend/girlfriend (that was only once though, when Chanyeol was 'experimenting' with his uality) would find his undying love for his kitten adorable at first. And then it turned into shifting uncomfortableness, because he paid more attention to his cat than to them. At the climactic end, they would usually storm out, shouting at Chanyeol that he loved his cat more than he loved them (and that was sadly true).

“If only Kris was a human,” Kyungsoo muttered, grimacing at the taste of bitter coffee and yet was unable to stop drinking it.

"That would be nice..." A low rumbling mumble replied back, and Kyungsoo sprayed out his morning remedy in speckles of liquid brown. Chanyeol was taken aback, bee-lining to the wide-eyed man with the kitchen towel roll.

"Are you okay?" He asked, frantically dabbing 2 sheets of terribly folded tissue on Kyungsoo's mouth. The latter reeled, snatching the tissue out of his hands.

"No, I'm not okay! You even agree that Kris should be human, and it’s just..." Kyungsoo shook his head, unable to finish because he was busy choking on the remaining coffee scorching his throat, and Chanyeol's cheeks coloured lightly as if to admit it, the body pigment traveling up to the tips of his ears to clarify it.

Kyungsoo couldn't believe at the amount of stupid he has to put up with.

"I," Kyungsoo announced solemnly, "am done with all of this."

"All of what?" Chanyeol looked confused, hands still absentmindedly scratching Kris' soft underbelly.

"This," Kyungsoo said, waving his hand in the direction of Chanyeol, as if drawing a whole circle around him.

"Let's elope together!" Jongin had somehow scrambled up and looped his arm around his boyfriend. He leaned close to him. "We'll go on adventures and, and you know, get away from this strange couple over here."

Kyungsoo's mouth dropped open. His blood rushed up to his face, painting his cheeks with a rosy tint at his boyfriend's romantically (and ridiculously, despite it being rather tempting) bold exclamation.

"D-Don't be silly,” he mumbled, the attempt to assert confidence in his voice failing him.

"Besides," he continued, looking away from Jongin and gesturing towards the kitty-giant couple. "I don't think it’s safe to leave them here. They'd die of starvation."

Because Chanyeol couldn't cook to save his life, and clearly, Kris was... well.

"Nah," Jongin said, squeezing Kyungsoo closer to his side. A spluttered squeak was emitted from Kyungsoo. "It's okay. Let's leave them to starve to death."

"You have no feelings! NO FEELINGS." Chanyeol pointed an accusing finger at Jongin. Kris shifted in his arms, and then jumped out, landing gracefully on the floor before prancing away, tail held high in the air. Chanyeol gave an angry frown-sad face at the couple. "Now look at what you did - you upset Krissy."

Jongin mimed vomiting. "I will never get over that nickname."

Chanyeol ignored the existence of the tanned male and followed Kris in pursuit.

"Ignore him, Krissy. Jongin is a heartless soursop." Chanyeol proceeded to pick the kitten up, but Kris merely snazzled out of his hold, and continued with his feline fashion walk towards the garden. There was something about the way his tail flicked from side to side that the tall giant didn't dare to try and cradle Kris in his arms at that state.

A dramatic expression fell unto his face.

Kyungsoo stared. Jongin merely nuzzled his boyfriend.

"K-Kris did not just sass out on me..!"

"I'm pretty sure he just did," Kyungsoo said. He started chuckling (it sounded a little evil, actually, so that was why Chanyeol started staring at Kyungsoo like he was a serial killer). "Look at that. Now you've been rejected by a cat, too!"

"My boyfriend is so hot when he's being mean," Jongin said in a strangely proud fashion.
The expression on Chanyeol's face was indescribable.

The shock disturbed Chanyeol greatly, and his messy locks stood on end as if Jongin had electrocuted him. All he wanted to do now was just to walk away real fast, to the safe havens of reality, because he must be having a bad nightmare right now, and it's all the paired-dorks' fault. But then something struck him.

He whipped around dramatically, facing the two puzzled, and the slightly irritated, pair of eyes on him.

"What do you mean by too?"

Jongin shrugged, but Chanyeol was already eye- him for answers.

So Jongin looked at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo turned to look at -- oh. Nobody else. (Unless a flower vase counts.)

Then the flower vase started speaking.

"Hello, peathants." The vase sneered evilly.

Everyone screamed.

Apart from Kris. And Chanyeol stopped his theatrical act and listened carefully.

The vase had a lisp.

"Oh my ing god." Kyungsoo had flinched. Jongin was clutching the opposite wall in fear.

“Call me Thehun the King,” the inanimate object continued, adopting a dramatic tone.

Chanyeol marched towards the flower vase with a blank expression, grabbed the house decoration, carefully removing the flowers first because they were real, and poured the liquid contents on top of a blond mop peeking just above the small table.

Sehun immediately stood from his hiding spot and screeched at him.

“My prethiouth hair!” He patted his hair, jumping around like a monkey.

“And how long have you been there?” Chanyeol crossed his arms, staring at Sehun with raised eyebrows.

“You havth no idea how long I’ve been thquatting there!” Sehun huffed. “It wath painful. PAINFUL I THELL YOU.”

“Luhan put you up for this, didn’t he,” Jongin stated plainly, not even bothering to question it.
Of course Luhan would do something like this. Doe-eyed, and very pretty, one could mistake him for an angel. Get to know him a bit better, and you’ll find out that he was evil incarnate. So is that friend of his, Jongdae, Jongin spoke inwardly. He’s satan on Earth.

“Of courth not!” Sehun said, a little bit too quickly.

Kris approached Sehun, curling once around his leg before butting it with his head, as if asking for cat treats. Sehun immediately forgot about how he got poured with plant juice, and kind of let the whole shenanigan slide off.

"Oh hi, Kris." And as if Kris was a magical charm, Sehun's speech was lisp-free. The other three could only stare in awe and dumbstruck. "There's a good kitty~ who's a good kitty? You are!" He practically crooned at the feline, playfully tickling his belly.

"He's almost as bad as you," Kyungsoo commented, though not directly addressing Chanyeol, it was obvious to whom that comment was aimed at.

Chanyeol’s eyes were definitely turning green with jealousy. “How dare he. He’s monopolizing my kitty!”

“Cats,” Sehun solemnly said, “are independent, beautiful creatures. You will never truly be his owner because he owns himself.” He continued to scratch Kris’ chin with a stoic yet adoring expression.

Chanyeol’s jaw was hanging open, and he huffed, then stomped his foot. For lack of doors to slam in his tantrum, he just shuffled around before stomping his foot again.

Kyungsoo lets out a low whistle and Jogin smirked, high-fiving Sehun with new-found respect.

“Eggs got served. Though, I like bacon more...” Jongin mumbled the last part to himself.

“I guess you can be smart when you want to be,” Kyungsoo added, slightly impressed at their maknae. “You’re learning, Sehun. You’re learning.”

Sehun beamed under Kyungsoo’s praise, because they were rare as golden nuggets. “I do my best.”

“I’m hungry,” Jongin said. He pawed at Kyungsoo’s arm. “I’m hungry.”

“Don’t expect me to cook anything.” Kyungsoo scrunched up his nose. “I only do that for special occasions.”

"But it is a special occasion!" Jongin reasoned, like the greedy brat he was. "It’s Kim Jongin is hungry day!"

"Negative," Kyungsoo said simply, shaking off the tanned man from his arm. "You're hungry everyday, every minute, every second. It is certainly not a special occasion."

Jongin whined mournfully, as though Kyungsoo dropped the bomb, and declared he was leaving him, whilst on the background, Chanyeol had successfully snatched Kris from Sehun's devilishly-seductive legs. Nothing could break the power of his feline love for the kitten, and that includes the maknae's grudgingly, well-crafted legs.

Chanyeol blamed Sehun's parents for passing the good genes to their ty son.

Damn his gorgeous legs (not that he thought they were gorgeous - oh, who was he kidding? Yes, he was just a smidgen jealous).

A smidgen.

“One day,” Chanyeol sighed mournfully, talking to Kris, “someone will catnap you because of your cuteness.”

"But never fear!" The giant continued, baritone voice echoing throughout the apartment lounge in a dramatic drawl. "I, Park Chanyeol shall protect you! Forever and always."

Sehun shuffled from his spot, making the moves to leave the vicinity. "Okay. Hyung, you were right. There’s something definitely wrong with Chanyeol, and you should book him an appointment with a psychiatrist."

And with the last words hanging in the air like a heavy cloth, the front door clicked shut followed by the door being opened again, a holler of the maknae's name, and an insolent slam of the door. Kyungsoo looked around awkwardly, eyes bulging out of his sockets (and Chanyeol pondered how his eyeballs haven't fallen out yet).

"Kim Jongin, how dare you leave me here," he hissed, a look of destruction on his docile face whilst he stormed off in pursuit of his unfortunate boyfriend.

Chanyeol stared. Then shrugged and turned to Kris down on his arms.

"Forever and always, Krissy."