I can feel my stomach churning and I think my lunch is crawling up my throat. I turn on my heel and dash towards the nearest bathroom but fail as I stop and vomit my lunch all over the pavement. Bystanders send me disgust looks as they avoid me whilst holding their noses from the stench. I take a deep breath before regaining my posture. As I step over the puddle of vomit, I ignore the strangers and make my way to the bathroom.

He’s not fair.


--


I take a small step into the classroom full of students who whisper secretly to each other whilst looking at me, up and down. I take a look at my selection of clothes I wore today but it was normal. Blue jeans, white top, black jacket, sneakers and a sling bag; it would never get any better than that. Then, I realised that they weren’t looking at my choice of clothes, but that they were looking through me.

Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the back of the classroom as the students continued to turn their heads at me whilst whispering incoherent words to each other. Then, the professor walks into the room with an old, brown briefcase in his left hand and a cup of starbucks coffee.

My professor’s name was Mr Yong Junhyung. He was a professor with handsome looks, good physique and the iest voice you have ever heard. The professor placed his bag and coffee on his desk before clearing his throat.

“Class, open your textbook to page 290.” He conducted and class began right away. I opened my textbook to the exact page and grabbed my laptop out of my bag whilst turning it on. It buffered for a minute or two and then I typed in my password, his birthdate.

The noticed that I was still on my skype account. I was about to log out when the conversation from yesterday morning made me smile. The teacher called on me and I immediately looked up to meet Mr Yong’s frowning face. I apologised but he told me to stay behind for a chat. That man is infuriating.

Class had ended and I began to slowly pack up whilst the other students their heels and rushed out of class.
“Soomi?” Mr Yong called. I slung my bag over my left shoulder and took small steps towards my professor as he patiently waited for me.
“Yes?” I replied as I was now in front of him.
“Are you okay?” He asked me with sincerity. I think my throat was clogged for I nodded my head. He gently patted me on the shoulder before ushering me to go to my next class. I walked towards the exit when the professor called my name again. “Yoon Soomi!” He shouted this time. I stopped in my tracks as I waited for him to say something, but I refused to turn around. “It’s not your fault.” He softly spoke. Then, I walked out of the room.


--


The moment I took a step out of the classroom, I could feel my tears clogging my vision. I ran to the nearest bathroom and cleaned myself up before leaving the university. All of my classes had ended for the day and all I wanted more than anything else was to go home and lie in bed, without thinking of him…

I arrived at my apartment and check the time, it was 3PM. I dropped my bag on the floor, right besides my sneakers and walked inside. His scent was still lingering here and it made me mad. Anger was boiling in my body and my mind went blank.

Somehow, I fell asleep on my bed. I checked the time on my watch and it read 4PM, what was I doing for an hour? Sleeping? I trudged out of my room and what surprised me was that everything was a mess.

Food was all over the floor, pillows were ripped apart and broken glasses were everywhere. I sat on the floor in front of my bedroom and I felt intense pain in my mind. I remembered that the moment I got home, I was mad that his scent was still lingering in my room. I guess I went a little crazy and trashed my own house. How typical of me.

I didn’t care if my bare feet were coming in contact with pieces of broken glass or mushy food from the floor. All I needed was a glass or water. Maybe some painkillers for this headache I was having. I opened the fridge and opened a bottle of water before taking some painkillers. I placed the half empty water bottle on the desk and walked towards the bedroom for another useless nap.

“Ice cream!” I shouted with glee to the man in front of me.
“Okay, let’s go.” He sighed teasingly. “3 words and 8 letters?”
“Hyunseung oppa, I love you.” I cooed as I pecked his lips and rushed out of the door.
“I love you too, Soomi.” He smiled and ran to catch up to me.

We waited in front of the crossing; our hands were intertwined with each other as if no one could tear us apart. The green man appeared and we crossed the road when a speeding car was coming towards us and Hyunseung pushed me towards the sidewalk. I winced in pain and sat up. In front of my eyes was my boyfriend lying in a pile of blood.

That’s not him. It can’t be him.

“Call an ambulance!” I shouted.

I woke up from the nightmare and sat up. His death was because of me. Rumours were that I pushed him into the speeding car because I was jealous of him talking to other women. Another rumour was that I wanted to kill him. But, what’s the point in telling society the truth when they want lies?

“Soomi?” Someone called from the other side of the bedroom. I stood up and opened the door to be greeted with Mr Yong. He was still standing at the front door, looking at the mess I made which I didn’t want to clean up. He sheepishly chuckled and managed to jump over the big mess and step on the smaller ones.

I think he noticed me. He noticed me crumbling, my wall was breaking down and it was bringing me down with it too. Now, he didn’t care if his socks were dirtied by the food, or is he would feel pain by the broken glasses. He ran towards me and engulfed me in a hug. I think that was when my tears came out and I broke down.

My eyes remained cloased but I was awake. I heard was him calming me down by soothing my back and giving me comforting words.
“Shhh,” He patted my back. “It’s okay.”
“I'll love you,” He suddenly blurted out. I opened my eyes and wriggled out of his arms.
“What?” I whispered.
“I love you,” Junhyung told me. “I’ve been in love with you the day I met you.” He explained.
“Stop,” I told him.
“I wanted to make you mine from the very beginning!” He raised his voice.
“Stop,” I repeated.
“But you never bothered to look at me!”
“Shut it!” I shouted.

Before I knew it, our tongues were dancing with each other. I couldn’t help to feel guilty that I was already kissing someone else.


--


I woke up and my head was on his chest and his arms were around my waist. I looked down and realised that our clothes were off. I sighed and slid off my bed and quietly dressed myself and checked the time. It was 3AM in the morning.

“Soomi…” Junhyung called in his sleep. I couldn’t do this, I needed to go out and think. I kissed him on the lips, thinking that it might make him fall into a deep slumber, and it did. The mess was still on the floor and I made it successfully towards the other side. I grabbed my phone and purse before putting on my sneakers. Then, I walked out of the door.

I walked towards the convenience mart and I was pretty hungry so I bought a cup noodles and waited for the hot water to be served. I poured the hot water in the plastic cup and began to eat whilst gathering my thoughts and feelings.

I loved Hyunseung, but now, I think I love Junhyung.

And, this time, I was happy with my decision. I finished my noodles and fished for my phone in my pocket. I was going to surprise him with a call. The call went to voicemail and I cleared my throat before speaking.
“Oppa? When I come back home, I’m going to tell you something. 3 words and 8 letters. See you soon!” I was happy with my voicemail and sent it. Then, I made myself stand and walk home.

The quickest way home was the alleyway between my apartment and the convenience store. But, being the person who helps others, I couldn’t walk away from a group of boys mugging an old lady.

“Hey!” I called out to them. The boys stop what they were doing and the old lady ran away with her purse. “I’m calling the cops!” I hissed. But, the boys moved closer towards me and shouted out words I couldn’t hear because someone had punched me in the head. My head was pounding and my vision was getting blurry. Before I knew it, something sharp had pierced through my abdomen and I fell onto the floor watching the boys running away.

I guess I’m going to Hyunseung… Sorry Junhyung.
 

yeh it i knoe
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