" When I was your Man"

 

 

 

 

 

  I woke up to the sound of the alarm going off. Rolling out of bed, I got up and made my way to my balcony.The city lights were still glowing through my apartment window. Everything was illuminating. The air was filled with noises of passing cars and late night construction. I took a deep breath and let it all out. Another day. 

 

Passing my bed I thought of things that has happened there. Nothing went too far as to just kissing and laying there. You didn't like to go to far. You wanted to wait till marriage. That's what your mother always reminded us to not have until marriage. But we didn't make it. I screwed it up.

 

 Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now

 

I made my way to the bathroom to wash up. The hot shower only cleansed my body but not my jumbled up mind. It was always like that. Same routine. Same mixed up thoughts. All portraying towards you. 

 

I slid in the driver seat of my car. Turning the key in the ignition,the car roared to life. The radio came on. Of course your favorite song came on. 

 

Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same

 

I turned it off,already feeling regretful. I backed out of the parking lot and made my way to the busy highway. To what led to your favorite club.Where I always met your friends who'd constantly talk about you and how I was a jerk. They were right.

 

When your friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down

 

 

I reached the club. Slid out of my driver seat and walked up to your favorite place. The music was loud enough to reach outside the walls. I sighed and opened the doors. The people,smell of alcohol,and girls welcomed me. I ignored them all and went strait to the back of the club. Where there was one unoccupied booth. I sat down to the farthest corner near the wall of the booth. Girls tried to sit beside me but I'd brush them off. I was in no mood to "chat". 

A server came over to my side and asked if I wanted a drink. One drink wouldn't hurt. At least it calmed me. I asked for a light alcoholic beverage. She bowed and went over to the bar. Once again my eyes travleled over to the spot where your friend would always sit. There they were,laughing up a storm and drinking. But one thing caught my eye. I didn't know you'd be here but I guess they dragged you here. You sat there lonley and in no mood to drink either. 

 

" ____!" One of you friends called your name. You looked up.

 

Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh~

 

" Come dance!" They told you. You sat there and said nothing. That was strange. You'd never turn down a dance. My heart crashed when I saw your confused eyes. I wanted to go over there but I'd knew you'd push me away. Still thinking it was only my ego I cared about.

 

Hmmm~ too young, too dumb to realize.

That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand

 

I looked back at my watch. It was almost dawn and yo were probably here with your friend for more then 4 hours. Never letting you go,afraid that someone would take you. So you stayed,not to be rude. I would've done the same. 

 

Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance

Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance

 

You finally got up and made your way to the dance floor. I watched as a guy asked for a dance. Taking you by the hand, he wrapped his arms around your waist and started dancing. You didn't even protest. That must've been your boyfriend,a replacement of me. 

 

Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

 

My drink came back. I didn't even take a chance to thank the waitress. I drunk the light alcohol.Feeling a tingly sensation go down my throat. All my worries were half way gone. But some still remained. I closed my eyes,just to blink the tears of regret away.

 

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways

Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made

And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

 

It all made sense now. I could've changed when you asked me. But everything got in the way. My ego was coming over me. I'd push you away when my friends would come over. When they'd ask questions of who you were. 

" Just another girl I invited over "I told them. They'd nod and look at you. Your eyes were confused,and sad. I felt the pain too. We shared things. I would tell you that it wasn't true. But you always found a way to pound the truth into me.

 

" Is it because of your popularity?" You asked one day. We were out on our fifth date. I looked up from my drink and stared at you. You were twirling your straw around in your shake. 

" Am I that unpopular that I can't be with you?" You looked up. The twirling had stopped,and your smile was gone. I didn't say anything. I didn't want the truth.

 

Too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand

Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance

Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

 

I opened my eyes.The club was starting to be less of people. The music was starting to end. The Dj was packing his equipment up. Bartenders and waitress cleaning up. You were gone.

 

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong

 

I made my way out the club. The sun was coming up and people were either helping their friends get into cars or trying to find the nearest bathroom to throw up. My car was in sight but you weren't. He had took you home. Like I should've done last time we did this. But that's when you broke up with me.

 

Oh, I know I'm probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

 

I got in my car and turned the radio on. Laid my head on the steering wheel and listened to your favorite song. I never knew it was a CD you made. Just to listen to it over and over. I never knew you popped it into the CD player to make me regret it. Regret how much I was missing when I was with you.

 

"I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours when he has the chance

Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance

 

 

I sang along. My voice wasn't bad. That's what you told me. I liked it too. I hope the one your with doesn't have as much as a good voice than me. So you could stand up a and walk away from him.Come running back to me. Where I'll try to put the past behind and hold you my arms. Where I know you'll never be. Since I was to held up on my image. But I hope I can do better and..

 

"Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!

Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!" 

 

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Song: When I was Your Man-Bruno Mars

Forever Always,

AveryPark