I am aware that this story might cause confusion. Just read it until the end. If you are still having questions, tell me so and I will answer them in a seperate chapter.

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„And we need eggs, bread, milk, chocolate and coffee!“ Xiumin said while noting down the grocery list. He looked up to his boyfriend and smiled. „Are you really going alone? I mean I have still enough time left, before my parents come home for my video call with them.“ Xiumin asked, but Chen shook his head. „Nah.“ He said, pecking Xiumins lips. „I'll be back before you know it. Take a shower and dress nicely. You don't want them to think that I can't take care of you, right?“ Xiumin giggled and grinned at him. „They would never think something like that. They love you. So much that they are nagging me about when I will finally marry you.“ He saw Chen tense a little. Marriage was a sensitive topic because of Chens parents. They weren't as happy as Xiumins with their „commitment“, as they put it. But Xiumin knew that they had almost forced his boyfriend to marry a girl, who he had played with in kindergarden, after he broke up with his boyfriend. The pressure had been immense and Chen had agreed so that they would just stop. That was when they met for the first time.

Xiumin was part time working at the shop where Chens mother had dragged him to buy his wedding suit. Right away Xiumin had noticed how pale and unhappy the customer was and as they were alone in the separate room, he smiled encouragingly at him. “You know.... I don't want to be invading your privacy, but for someone who will be a husband soon, you don't look happy at all.” Xiumin had heard the mother – at least he thought it must be the mother – pushing the young man around and her voice was everything but pleasant. “

Let me tell you something.” His customer had opened his mouth to say something, when Xiumin continued. “If you are not ready, you should wait. Don't let your life be destroyed or make yourself unhappy by rushing things.” Chen had stared at him, mouth agape. He looked so shocked that Xiumin feared he would have a any minute. But after a few more moments Chen came back to his senses and blinked. Once, twice. Then he looked at Xiumin and the other could tell that this was the moment where Chen finally “looked” at him.

And then Chen spilled everything. He didn't know why he told all this to the stranger who took his measured for the suit. But after the kind words he just felt like it was the right thing and that it was ok. Xiumin listened and understanding grew in him. When Chen was done, he looked at the sobbing man and brushed the tears away. “You are too handsome to cry.” Xiumin and smiled. “You shouldn't let your parents put you under so much pressure. I know it's not easy but trust me.. if you marry someone you don't love and want to be forever with, you will regret it.” Chen gulped slightly. He knew that Xiumin was right, but he was so scared, or rather afraid of losing his parents love because despite their wedding plans for him he loved them very much.

“I have no choice.” he whispered, looking at Xiumin, his face full of pain. “I can't disappoint them.” Not again. Xiumin sighed before finishing taking the measurements. He noted down the sizes and then tore a part of the paper. “Here is my number.” Xiumin grinned slightly. “I know that we don't know each other. But if you ever need help, give me a call.” He paused. “By the way, I am Min-Seok.” Chen blushed slightly, but accepted it. Xiumin flashed another smiled which caused Chen to smile back. “I am Jongdae.” he replied. Then the door opened and Chens mother looked at them. “Are you ready?” She said harshly and Xiumin nodded. “Good. I want this suit to be delivered to the east church on the 23^rd. Noting it down, Xiumin nodded again. “It will be ready in about a week.” He informed the women. “It would be good if Jongdae-ah would come and try it, just in case we need to do some adjustments. The woman’s eyebrows furrowed, but she nodded. “Alright. He will be coming over when we get the call.” She said and looking at her son. “We get going. Come on.”

Chen sighed, took another look at Xiumin before he followed his mother outside. When he thought about the soon-to-be wedding, he started feeling sick. He was only 18. He didn't want to be married yet. But he didn't have the guts to tell his parents, so he just let them control his life.

The girl was actually really sweet and he felt bad for her. If she would only be a friend or his sister, he would love to spend time with her. But not in a romantic way.

When he got back to the shop one week later, Chen was a little excited. But not because he was trying on the suit, but because he was about to meet Xiumin again. Something about the other made him be curious to know more.

During the time he tried on the gown, they talked about almost everything and found out that they had a lot in common, but were still very much opposites to each other. Chen enjoyed the time so much that he didn't even notice how fast the time went by. Xiumin tried again to comfort him and told him he needed to make his own choices. Chen just smiled but shook his head. “I can't.” he said again, giving him a sad smile before he left.

He couldn't breathe. Chen stood in front of the mirror. A few hours before his suit had been delivered by a boy he didn't know. He wished it would have been Min-Seok. Maybe... just maybe he would have been able to think it through again. But now there was no way back. No way out. He bit his lip before he straightened his tie and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he walked towards the door and into his sorrow.

Chen looked down the aisle. The whole church was full of people who were chatting wildly with each other. His throat seemed to close even more and he tried to gulp, without any success. Help me. Help me!

He didn't even think. The music started to play and his fingers punched hard into his phone. Chen didn't look what he was writing. He sent the message and slid his phone into his pocket before he started walking down the aisle.

The blood in his ears rushed and he had a hard time concentrating on the priests words. “If anyone attending has a reason why these two people should not be wed, he shall speak nor or stay forever silent.” “STOP!” Chens eyes flew open and he – along with the whole wedding party – turned around. A heavily breathing Min-Seok stood in the arch and had every single attention on him. “Don't do it, Jongdae.” He held out his hand. “Don't make yourself unhappy.” His eyes smiled at Chen and before he knew what he was doing, Chen was running towards the other, grabbing his hand as they run out of the church together.

Xiumin remembered how Chen moved in with him and after that it didn't take long until they fell for each other. And now they had been together for over one year, going strong. Sure they had their quarrels, but it wasn't anything bad or severe.

“Min-Seok... it's not that I don't want to be with you...” Chen started, but Xiumin put his finger on his lips. “Sssch...” He said and smiled at him. “I was just reciting my parents. You don't have to marry anyone, not me or someone else. Not if you don't want to. I am sorry I brought it up.” Chen sighed before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. “I love you. But I have to go now.” he smiled and gave him another kiss. I'll be back soon.” He let him go and grabbed his jacket. “I love you.” Xiumin turned his head and smiled lovingly at him. “I love you too. See you later!” Then he took off to the shower to get ready for the video call.

Worry had taken over. Xiumin looked outside where it was already dark. Chen had been gone for hours now, longer than it was normal for going grocery shopping. At first he thought maybe Chen had met a friend and went for a coffee, but now he was just worried. He had tried to call his boyfriend, but the phone was turned off and none of their friends had seen Chen today. Xiumin tried to stay calm, but it was not easy.

He tried to assure himself that everything was alright and Chen had a reason for being away. After a while Xiumin made something to eat, but he wasn't having any appetite. Around 10 pm he couldn't hold back his raising fears anymore and he went out, checking all the places they knew. He even dared to go to Chens parents, which was a hard task because of everything that had happened. Luckily only Chens brother was at home, who had always been a good friend to them, but he couldn't help Xiumin since he had only talked to his brother one week ago.

He encouraged Xiumin to go to the police and report his boyfriend missing. Together they went to the department and there they told them they had to wait 24 hours before they could file the report. Xiumin went home, his heart full of fear and pain. He didn't understand why Chen was gone without a trace. When he went to sleep, his eyes were full of tears and his heart full of grieve.

This was the first time since Chen had moved in with him that Xiumin went to sleep alone. And he definitely hated this feeling.

When he woke up the next morning, he was still alone. His hope that Chen would come home some time at night was shattered to pieces. 10 more hours waiting before he was able to report his boyfriend missing. Of course it would not make Chen come back home faster, he knew that.

But Xiumin needed something, anything that helped him to cling to that hope that it was something unimportant, that Chen had a good reason for everything.

The 10 hours passed and there was no sign of him. Xiumin cried the whole day, fear raging in his system. What if Chen had an accident... what if he was shot.... what if he had gotten enough of him and had run away.... what if...! The list went on and on and on. He returned to the police, filed the report of his boyfriend missing. They said they would look, but there wasn't much they could do. The police men gave him a pitiful look. “Maybe he just ran off.” He said, but Xiumin refused to believe that. Chen would never do such a thing. They had agreed that when one of them was fed up, they would talk about it. Sure, he had mentioned the marriage-thing, but since he had saved Chen from his horrible choice Xiumin had always told him it was Chens choice and he would never be mad whatever his boyfriend would do.

There was no reason to leave. Chen wasn't like that. He knew that. He would have told him if he was fed up. He would have told him. He would have told him.

Xiumin knew that it sounded like he was crazy, but that was the only way for him to stay sane. And after he had filed the report, the waiting came.

How he managed to stay clear minded, Xiumin didn't know. He poured everything he got into work, stopped going out. The only things he did was work, eating and sleeping. Weeks passed by. Months passed by. Years passed by. After 4 years his hope was almost completely gone. He thought he would never be able to get the call from the police. Never. 4 years. That was 1461 days. 1461 days without a single hint of Chens fate.

It was a hot summer day. Xiumin would never forget. Never. He just had come home from work when his phone rang. He picked it up and furrowed his eyebrows. “Kim Min-Seok?” A strangers voice asked and after he confirmed, the other introduced himself as FBI Agent Kim Jongin. What he heard then shattered Xiumins world once again. His eyes widened and his hand – no his whole body – started to shake. “What...?” he choked, even though he heard the words very clear. “We found him.” “We found him.” “We found him.” Again and again he heard the sentence in his head. That had to be a dream.

Xiumin had given up the hope for the call. Not after all this time. “I-Is... he alive...?” He barely recognized his own voice, sounding so foreign to himself. His heart was beating so fast and tears filled his eyes. Chen. He had thought of so many things that could have happened. Chen, killed. Chen, hurt in an accident, being in a coma. Chen, who met someone else, someone better. But still he had reported him missing. Even though he would never believed that his boyfriend would just take off like that, but the more time went by, the bigger turned his doubts and the crazier the explanations. But what hurt him the most was not knowing the truth. In the beginning he had hoped that Chen would call and tell him he left him or had an accident... but there was no sign of life from him.

After all this years he only wanted to know. He fell into believing that Chen had died. And now... all he wanted was Chens body, so that he could bury and mourn his lover. Despite all those lonely, empty days without him, Xiumin never stopped loving him. Not once. They were soul mates and he couldn't imagine himself with another men. Even if his boyfriend was dead. But now... there was a FBI agent on the phone. An agent who told him that Chen...

“He's alive.”

The End.

Remember - if you are still confused, tell me so :) I will answer your questions! :)