Jonghyun is Me
Bond (Jonghyun)Kim Jonghyun touched.
A lot.
Whether it was Minho's arm, Kibum's hand, Taemin's hair or Jinki's shoulder, some part of him always had to be in contact with one or more of them.
He wasn't like this before he auditioned, didn't depend on physical contact as much, though he did like it - what human doesn't?
Then he got accepted, something he'd never imagined.
Suddenly his life was all 'time is money' and 'hurry up, you'll be late' and 'don't waste time' - it quickly became way too hectic for Jonghyun, the city boy who was used to going at his own pace. Slowly he coped, discovering the wondrous properties of physical contact with someone else and using that to ground himself when the going got too rapid and he could almost feel himself being swept away by the current.
By the time he was first introduced to the others, he had already become known amongst his sunbaes as the 'King of Skinship'. However, not wanting to be alienated for being too touchy-feely, he (barely) managed to keep his hands to himself unless it was for fanservice.
The first person he gravitated to was Kibum. Kibum was soft, and he didn't mind touchy-feely Jonghyun. Kibum needed him, too: needed his touches to ground himself, to draw some confidence from Jonghyun when he needed it. Kibum was the 'Umma' of the group, but Jonghyun was the one who held him up most of the time. Jonghyun could see through the mask called Almighty Diva Key; could see how he yearned, too, for reassurance that they didn't hate him.
Jonghyun needed to touch, and Kibum needed Jonghyun telling him that he was loved.
After that came Jinki. Jinki was down-to-earth, warm and strong - mentally, as a leader should be (though physical strength was never a bad thing). But Jonghyun could see that sometimes the leadership that he possessed brought on way too much stress than he could handle at once. Sometimes, he found Jinki holding his head in the kitchen, the heels of his palms pressing into his eyes in search of more strength when the rest were asleep. At their first concert in Tokyo, he saw him tearing up but acting like he was fine, while he and Kibum were bawling their eyes out.
Jinki, Jonghyun realized, had a mask too, just as thick as Kibum's: it was called Leader Onew, with the Sangtae. Behind Leader Onew was Lee Jinki, selfless and forever afraid he would never be good enough, strong enough, melodious enough, perfect enough. And so he began to offer comfort and reassurance in the one way he knew how: touch. Be it casual hand-holding in the van, a simple squeeze to his shoulders or a hug, Jonghyun tried to give him whatever strength he could, tried to tell him wordlessly that yes you are enough for us, you are all SHINee needs, stop fretting.
Jonghyun needed to ground himself; Jinki needed courage. Jinki was the only one of two to whom he bottomed without complaining.
Next was Minho: tall, big-eyed Minho, the hyung-, calm and collected at all times, very seldomly flustered. Minho didn't really need Jonghyun, but vice versa. Jinki was down-to-earth, but Minho was just a tiny bit more so. Jinki was warm; Minho's skin fairly burned. And sometimes he was what Jonghyun needed. The first hug he gave Minho was unbearably awkward, like I probably shouldn't have done this he's not responding; however, as Minho slowly reciprocated - a tad possessively, in retrospect - , Jonghyun realized that he had been wrong in his assumptions. He realized the reason behind the Flaming Charisma's reputation of being a hyung-.
Minho needed touch just as much as, if not more than Jonghyun did. However, while Jonghyun needed to ground himself, Minho needed to protect and feel protected.
The night Jonghyun realized this, he bottomed for the other once and then proceeded to him senseless.
Taemin was last, mostly because he was closer to Kibum - being his adul and all - than he was to him. Taemin was hard figure out at first. He was bubblier than a bubble bath, hyper about ninety-nine percent of the time, cheeky as a five-year-old. He had Jonghyun puzzled for quite a while.
And then they performed Internet War together.
Taemin, Jonghyun discovered, had a slight penchant for being dominated. One of the only reasons why he allowed the feminine long hairstyle for Lucifer and Sherlock was because he liked, loved, wanted, yearned for someone to tug at his hair, a classic sign of domination. Taemin the 'innocent maknae' needed to ground himself, just like him - but to do so, he needed someone to own him, from head to toe. He needed to be forced onto all fours, needed to feel used, abused, dominated, owned, marked and adored all at the same time. To achieve this, a lot of physical contact was necessary.
Jonghyun took care of that.
Thus, in his bandmates-slash-lovers, Jonghyun found his place in the world: Kibum needed his vocal and physical affection; Jinki needed subtle encouragement and strength; Minho needed to protect and to be protected; Taemin needed to be submissive.
With them, Jonghyun could touch all he wanted.
A/N: ...yeah. Comment? KTHNXBAI
Edit: Just corrected whatever errors there were, no biggie ^^
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