The person i have loved doesn't even know i'm exsisting.  Is it ever possible to fall inlove with a person that you haven't really meet personally? I mean is it really possible? From the very beginning i did'nt know that i will be super crazy for the guy i only saw on TV and Youtube. His voice is sweet, His smiles are unbearable, He makes me laugh at the same time he also makes me cry. 

One day I asked myself, "Is it even possible to meet this guy in the future?" Then realization comes after, i will never really meet this guy. Reality hurts. Many people are also wishing this,

I mean if so you meet, you'll not be able to be close with him,

If you become close with him, How will you communicate with each other if you have different language?

Let's say he can also speak english and you understand each other, still you can't be with him cause his an idol.

Still there are walls over walls.

121208 i saw him for the first time, i was standing right infront of him wishing that he woul also see me, but of course it's imposible cause beside me are tons of fans also wishing the same thing. So i just watch him as he performed and wish him all the best and luck in their performance. I cheered for them of course, and if ever you would let me describe what just happened, well i'm speechless. 

130907 Second time seeing him, i was so excited cause they are the one who will visit my country, at last. Their group are the last to perform and still i bought the closest to stage ticket so that i would see him closely again. Still as great as before, speechless and just pointing to them is what i just did the whole night, i couldnt even get myself to shout for his name. Totally blank that night.

Maybe for others i may consider very lucky seeing my idol twice, but for me i don't know why twice isn't enough, i want to see him more often, everyday if time can permit. i may sound like a fool for everyone and i know it is embarassing for me to say this, but i think i really love him more each day, this feeling for him grow much stronger and i think i would not love anyone anymore besides him the way i love him.

And if ever there's a chance he could read this, i made a short ( i dunno if it would be short) letter for you!

Dear You,

Happy 25th Birthday~

i made this letter months before your birthday.

My wish for your birthday? well i think you are already blessed with so many things so the only wish for you from me is that I hope your happy with the things you are receiving, be healthy, keep smiling, keep doing your best and please take care of yourself….

I don’t know if you’ll read this exact date in your birthday cause I’ll be sending this in advance, So here is the letter I made for you, I’m sorry if it’s this long, but I wish you read this. Really….

If ever you are the man i'm talking to in this note, please remember that i'm really inlove with you.

Why are you from Korea and i'm from Philippines?

Why are you an idol that i can't reach?

Why does it hurts me seeing you getting sick or hurt?

Why do i have to meet you under this circumstances?

Why does our time doesn’t meet?

Why does your smile makes my day complete?

why am i crazy everytime i see you perform?

And why do i have to fall for you even if i know that we will not end up together, cause we 

live in different dimension?

Few of those hundred question in my mind that i wanna ask you.

This letter may sound crazy, I may look like a creeper for you or maybe a stalker, but I’m not I just want to really say this cause, I don’t know I just suddenly feel like telling you this things so….

You know i'm a very picky person, but you're the one i have chosen, so rest assured that my love for you is real.

You may not know me personally and it may sound cheesy, (and yeah i don't do this letter thingy to anyone but you),

But you became my first love....

I know that for you i'm just one of those million fans supporting you through thick and thin, 

but i want you to know that you became my inspiration ever since i met you in a youtube channel with your MV.

I wanna thank you for existing.

I’ve met new friends, experience being broke in terms of money, talking to myself (become literally crazy) XD

and because of that i feel like staying in this fandom forever.

I love how you treat others, i have watched all your performance, concerts, tv appearance

and even went in different country just to see you performed live, 

And by watching it i know that you have a great heart, your a loving son/friend, you have a sunshine like smile, and your voice is really angelic.

I also know that this year really hectic for all of you, lack of sleep going overseas to perform and going back home for

another performance,...

i want you to stay healthy, and happy. (P.S i don't want your muscles now. just an opinion)

......err i don't know anymore, i'm out of words, wait .....

i love your eyes, your voice ,your smile, i love every cell in you, i love you, just 'you'.

Good luck on your daily activities, have rest you need it.

You're a great leader, please remember that.

i'll be cheering you here at home always,

It tears me seeing you get hurt, so eat more! You’re getting thin.

As long as we are under the same sky i know that there might be a .01% chance to meet you again.

i wish to see you again, maybe today, tomorrow, next week, next month and for the rest of my life.

I know that this is really impossible but chances are, we may not be from the same country, nor same language, 

but just like what you said, love has no boundaries. (Again I’m not a creeper so don’t be scared of me…)

so if someday i may find a partner on my own, and maybe you too may find one, 

i just wish that her love for you is real and she wouldn’t hurt you,

i wish that you would be happy with her, and

i know that you would take care of her with all your heart,

"your future someone will be so lucky" is what i'm always telling myself,

Cause i know that you will become a good husband and father to them.

Someday when i find the right person for me, besides you,

i will still be thinking of you as my first love and you know what? ,

i think i would really love him, but not

but not as much as i have love you,

cause he can't replace the once in a lifetime memories I’ve experience

When i loved you. But of course I’ll love him….

So for now, please stay happy and healthy, Take care of yourself

and me?

i'm always here supporting you! hwaiting!

I’l also do my best, l study hard , graduate and reach for my dreams just like what you did.

Thank you~

I love you. :* <3

-Me