We’ve always been together. You and me. Donghae and Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk and Donghae. EunHae of Super Junior. As friends, of course, not as lovers. We’re both heteroual.

Always together. Since… forever. I can’t even remember how we met, Donghae. Because you were always there by my side, reassuring me when I was scared, consoling me when I was sad, calming me down when I was angry. You were always there, Donghae. You’ve always been there, and I truly see you as my friend. My best friend forever. The brother I never had.

I truly wished for you to be happy. I really wanted you to meet someone you could love, I really wanted you to smile happily, I really wanted you to introduce this treasured person of yours to me. So I could see who stole your heart, so I could see who would make you happy forever. Or for a time, and then I’d console you like you always consoled me.

I truly wanted you to be happy.

And then, why am I so sad right now? Why can’t the tears stop flowing? Why can’t my heart stop tearing apart? Why do I feel so depressed? So alone? So… abandoned?

I want to cry, Donghae. If I cry, will you be there for me? Will you hug me like you always do? Will you tell me everything’s okay? Will you make me smile like you always do? Will you be my brother like you always were?

I start crying, because I can’t contain my tears anymore. I can already feel your arms around me, hear your voice in my ear telling me everything’s going to be all right, see your dark eyes that let me dive deep into your soul to borrow some of your happiness, smell the manly scent I became used to with years. I can already guess what will happen…

… and it doesn’t happen.

I hear you laugh in your room with your girlfriend. Your treasured one. The one you didn’t introduce to me. The one who stole your heart. The one who makes you happy. The one who’ll maybe break your heart someday, but that doesn’t matter for now. I can’t feel anything except pain, and sadness, and anger.

You.

Abandoned.

Me.

You forgot me. You spend 99% of your time with your treasured one. I can understand that. But to the point you won’t even come to say hi when you’re not with this person? I cannot understand. I remember Yesung-hyung’s song Love really hurts. Well, that song is not right. Love doesn’t hurt. Friendship does. I remember the day I broke up with my girlfriend. I was kind of sad, yes. You consoled me, because I needed this. But I got over it after… a week or so. Maybe even less.

I can’t get over you.

Your friendship is what makes me happy. Your friendship is what supported me all those years.

And I’m crying.

I’m crying and you’re not coming. You don’t care about me. You tossed me away, now that you have someone else. You forgot everything we had in common. Everything that made us so close to each other. Everything that made us brothers.

I thought we were brothers, Donghae! I really believed in our friendship! I thought it could last forever! I really thought it could last forever…

Donghae, why are you not here yet?

Why are you still laughing with your treasured one when I’m clearly dying over here? Why can’t you come here for two seconds? Just to tell me you still care about me…

Donghae, I miss you.

You’re so close to me, and yet so far. I can’t reach you anymore. My pain can’t reach you. My cries can’t reach you. I’m sad. Sad and angry. And in pain. I can’t even be angry at the hyungs for being so noisy. I’m just angry at you for being happy. I know I shouldn’t. But I am. We’re drifting apart. Too suddenly for my heart to accept it.

You were my friend for so long Donghae. My friend, my brother, my treasured one, since I didn’t have anyone else. And you abandoned me. Abandoned me to be happy with someone else. You forgot me. You forgot everything about me. All we had in common. All we lived together. Everything. I’m all alone now. I miss you, Donghae…

And I’m all alone now.

So alone that it seems like you’re disappearing from my life.

So alone that it seems like you disappeared from my life.

I’m all alone.

You disappeared from my life.

Covering my ears to listen to you

Shutting my eyes to imagine you

You have slowly become blurred, you have slowly left me

In the unstoppable memories

I stop (stop) I stop (stop)

The memories of having once loved, control me so easily

Once again, One more time

How can it end like this I cannot believe

Those countless promises, what to do, what to do…

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Inspired by Daydream? Not at all *whistles*...