It was one of the undeniable perks of working with Yoo Jae Suk. He threw the best holiday parties. Not the most lavish, but definitely the most entertaining. They were the perfect way to round out the year and bring hope to the next. Plus, why would anyone ever say ‘no’ to the Mr. Yoo Jae Suk?

Jong Kook arrived early as always, fashionably early, he would say—he was looking sharp in a suit and slicked-back hair. His foot had barely graced the carpeted floor of the spacious ballroom when the host called his name and waved him over.

“Kook Jong-ah! Glad you could make it!”, Jae Suk greeted, welcoming him with a lively high-five before laying a hand on his shoulder. “There’s beer and wine on that table over there and desserts on that one”, pointing each one out.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s on the other three tables”, the muscular man piped up, already smelling chicken wafting over from one.

“I’m just pointing out the tables worth visiting”, he replied with a toothy grin, earning a glare from the health-freak.

“Or the ones I should guard Ji Hyo and Haha from”, Jong Kook noted with a chuckle.

“Point taken. Either way, I expect you to visit it. Live a little”, he sent off his dongsaeng with a push to the drinks table.

Ji Hyo peeked through the crack of the door, surveying how many were already in attendance. She was late as always, fashionably late, she would say. The lady in purple was slowly nudging her head through for a better look when she was shoved unceremoniously forward into the room. She turned around to shoot a death glare at the culprit, who happened to be Gwang Soo waving at her timidly. “Sorry, noona. I didn’t know you were going to slow down. I thought you were going to walk right in.”

“Oh shut up with your excuses”, she replied before playfully yanking him in with her.

Jong Kook stands at the opposite end of the room and watches with his arms crossed at what seems to be everyone—expect him, might he add—now congregating in front of that table of vice. His eyes narrow as he judges the guests, laughing and talking too animatedly, each with a bottle or glass in hand. He swears he can see negative numbers springing off their heads from their life expectancy counters. Did no one want to live to 200 with him?

A warm hand on his shoulder shocks him out of his reverie, but the alcoholic breath that comes rushing through his nose the next second makes him wish for an immediate return.

“Hey, hyung”. Haha’s smile is a little lop-sided.

“Haha…”, Jong Kook wants to say something else, but his disappointment at his younger colleague steals his words. He glances at his watch; it’s only been twenty minutes since the start of the party.

“Have you seen Ji Hyo?” Jong Kook grimaces at Haha’s words. Somehow her name spoken in warm soju sounded dirty.

“N-n-no”, he replied instantly, fearing hesitation would highlight his white lie.

His eyes had spotted her instantaneously, like two magnets attracting each other. The moment she stepped in, more like stumbled in, grabbing hastily at her sheath dress for support, with Gwang Soo behind her, following like a sorry puppy. They had briefly caught eyes and she replied with a blinding smile and a small wave. He hates how his insides go wild when Ji Hyo gets dolled up since all her features usually hidden behind loose street clothes. Jong Kook swallowed hard and thought he was going to have a heart attack if he stood there any longer. With all his strength he broke eye contact to make a dash for some ice water.

“No, hyung? Really? She’s the prettiest one around…well, after Hyori-noona.”

Jong Kook elbowed Haha lightly. “Dude, you’re married.”

“What? I was just stating the obvious. It’s not like I want to date her or anything.”

Jong Kook could feel his face turning red. Maybe he was just overthinking, but it felt like the last sentence was a jab at him.

“Well, you should say ‘hi’ to her. She was talking to Lee Kyung Shil the last time I saw her. This is an open bar, so catch her sober before it’s too late.”

Jong Kook tuned out the rest of Haha’s sentences, something about bulgogi and galbi, as he was preoccupied with scanning the room for the woman who had become both the bane of and reason for his existence.

Ji Hyo feigns attention with whomever she’s carrying a conversation while she takes in the surroundings of the room. She wants to remember everything: the lights, the atmosphere, the people—many of whom she’d call her closest friends. She concludes that this was probably the last time she’d ever be in a room with these same people again and it makes her sick to her stomach. This was an end to something and no one but she knew about it. Chang Joo hadn’t officially told her a departure date, but she figured it to be within the next few months, seeing how he’s becoming gradually more stressed.

Everyone was engaged in casual greetings and light conversations because it’s assumed that there will always be a next time. The guilt gnaws at her stomach as she makes empty promises to people for summer travel plans and activities. She wanted to attend their kid’s summer recitals and others’ premieres. She wonders how long her smile can last before it cracks her lips.

She tries her hardest to remember everything about everyone here. Tears are pricking from her eyes and she’s frustrated by her own conflict. She’d thought that eventually, she’d grow use to the decision and be comfortable with it, but no matter the preparations, leaving for the US didn’t feel right. Her mind was saying ‘yes’, but her heart was saying ‘no’.

The façade gets tiring after an hour and she finds herself standing beside the bar, both hands with glasses. She stares longingly into a glass of amber liquid dotted by flickers from her ring’s refraction, swirling it around and losing herself in its ripples.

It’s been three months, but she’s still wondering. Things aren’t too bad now, but could they have been better if she had taken the other fork in the road? Would she be happier? In her uncertainty and self-doubt, she began closing herself off, fearing accidentally leaking her negativity and stirring more trouble. She sighed and prayed that somehow something was going to happen to relieve all the turmoil inside her.

The warm alcohol burning down is a temporary release. The pain eases a little when the world starts to tilt and colors start to run.

Jong Kook sees Ji Hyo slowly become more intoxicated by herself and wonders if anyone else has noticed. Would it be weird for him to step up and help her? Would doing so make it obvious that she holds a special place in his heart? He was just looking out for his colleague after all. Yeah, that’s right. She’s his colleague, he reminded himself.

He marches towards her, hoping the confidence he exudes is enough to cover the insecure reality. His ears nearly go deaf from his pounding heartbeat and his hands start trembling once he realizes that he’s going to have to touch her. He halts. She was too far gone to react to words. He’d have to physically move her to assist her. Oh god, what if she starts squirming in his arms and I accidentally touch her somewhere inappropriate? Will others just think we’re just getting cozy with each other? His face reddens at the thought.

He’s jerked away from his daydream when he hears Jae Suk’s voice beside him.

“Good timing! I was just looking for you. Go help Ji Hyo, please. She’s not looking too well.”

“Neh, hyung”, he responds like a subordinate to his captain.

“You probably know best how to deal with her. She trusts you the most after all.”

The words sends a spurt of warm butterflies into his body and he feels it rush all the way into his fingers. He takes a breath before setting his eyes on the woman before him now stumbling embarrassingly both over her own words and heels despite being seated.

“C’mon, Ji Hyo. Let’s take you home”, he steps over to her, extending a hand politely, knowing numerous pairs of eyes were watching the development.

“Oppaaaaa! Oppppaaaaa! You’re here! I was looking for you!”, Ji Hyo slurs, her arms fling out wildly for what Jong Kook assumes to be a hug.

He pushes her arms aside and instead, wraps a hand around her left arm to pull her upwards.

“C’mon, let’s go”, he insists, pulling her towards the door.

“But I want to stay”, she whines. Flailing, her hand knocks painfully into his jaw before resting against his chest comfortably, giving it a light push. He grunts in response and chooses to ignore her.

Fifteen minutes later, he’s managed to finally coax her out the room, with the help of three others might he add. He takes one last look before starting the car, at the woman now muttering gibberish beside him in the passenger seat, her head resting against the window with eyes closed. He smirks. This was Ji Hyo. This was his Ji Hyo.

She’s not conscious enough to converse with during the drive, and the quiet environment offers him the opportunity to think some circles around himself once again. He hasn’t been in such close quarters with her since his surgery. He returned to a much different Ji Hyo and that’s how she’s remained since. It’s been months since they’ve had any physical contact. He seeks some solace in the fact that she still runs to him when she’s destroying herself.

Jong Kook finds it alarming how he was able to guess her door password in only two tries. He practically pulls her in beside him as her legs have no strength. The pair of black stocking appendages are just there to give extra weight and make his life harder. She murmurs something unintelligible. Probably something about her apartment, he assumes.

He sets her down on a bench in the hallway to pull off her heels.

“Oppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”, she yells. Jong Kook jumps in surprise.

He ignores her and pulls her up, propping her against him as he heads toward her bedroom. The thought of this being improper doesn’t even cross his mind.

“Oppaaaaaaaaa”, she exclaims again, tugging at his dress shirt.

He opens the door and sets her down on her bed. As soon as he lets go, she falls to lay across the sheets.

“Oppaaaaa”.

“What, Ji Hyo?”, Jong Kook is a bit fed up. He can’t lie. This is why he doesn’t drink. Apart from health concern, people make a fool out of themselves and those who have behaved responsibly are forced to take care of them. And the next day, the only one who carries the burden of embarrassment is not the drunkard, but the attendant.

“I’m itchy, oppa”.

“What?”

“On my neck. Right here”, she points with scowl of discomfort to her neck. “Can you scratch it for me?”

She looks at him with her full on puppy eyes. How could he say ‘no’ to that?

Jong Kook’s hand slowly approaches her porcelain neck, hovering over the spot. His throat feels like it’s about to close up as he watches her neck stretch out for him, all for his touch. Her gleaming eyes are on him and suddenly it feels like the world has stopped. The only sound is their breathing. His fingers graze over her skin and he hears her breath hitch. His hand retracts as if burned.

The man stares down at her, trying to read her reaction. Very slowly, a grin inches across her lips, so gradual, he would’ve missed it had it not for been the accompanying giggles. Seconds later, the shy giggle erupts into loud laughter.

Jong Kook stands awkwardly beside the bed, utterly confused. The previous magical moment had been interrupted by an uncouth clown.

“Stop tickling me, oppa!”, she shrieks, kicking the covers about. She’s smiling at him, and her eyes have disappeared from happiness. Though it’s at the fault of his imagination and not her, he can’t help but feel like she played him. The burst of incredible disappointment sends him stepping towards her bedroom door.

He’s about to leave when he hears her croak, "Please stay with me", reaching her hand out for him. Like putty in front of her, he returns to pulls up a chair to sit beside her.

"What are you doing? Come here. I don't bite", she slurs out.

He gingerly sits on the bed beside her and watches her for a few moments. Her lashes flutter like butterflies as she stares out into the distance. Her hair is splayed out around her in a chestnut halo. The diamond necklace laying on her chest bobs up and down with each breath, like buoys in the ocean. She looks up at him slowly and catches his eye. She smiles lazily. She is absolutely stunning.

His chest feels constricted and his neck has started to pinch for looking down for so long. He shifts to lean against the backboard, tucking a pillow under his back. He reaches up to loosen his bowtie before laying it down on the nightstand and undoing the first button. He’s finally able to feel some semblance of comfort since he’s arrived, cursing the woman for being the death of him someday.

Jong Kook sees her left arm stretch up, swiping randomly, seeming to search for something.

“Oppa? Oppa?”, He hears concern in her voice and jerks to an upright position to quell her fear.

“I’m here, Ji Hyo.”, he reaches out to hold her hand.

Her soft fingers curl around his. He pretends to be unaffected by the cold sting of her metal ring. A smile spreads across her red lips, and she hums in content. “I feel so at home.” She gently plays with his fingers before fading to a stop.

Jong Kook tries not to read into it and quickly diffuses the scenarios his brain is intent to brew up.

“You are at home”, he replies, knowing it’s fallen upon deaf ears. Her eyes have already closed, and her breath has steadied into slumber. There’s a peaceful silence.

“Good night, oppa”. It’s a whisper ghosting through the air.

“Good night, Ji Hyo" he replies, wide-awake, nowhere close to feeling drowsy. For all the moments he dreamt of falling asleep with her, this was definitely not as he imagined.

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A/N: Well, hey, lookey here I actually updated in a relatively reasonable time! It took a while for the previous chapter because I went back to fix up some plot holes and restructed the storyline. I think most of it has been organized now, so now that I have a clearer plan, things should progress better? I'll try my best not to at updating, but no promises bc life always like screwing me over. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through all this time. I know this story has taken forever and a lifetime and I'm only now just hitting the real meat of the story. D: