As you have all probably already figures out, it isn't easy for me to make friends.

The very last friend ---- real friend ---- that I remember having was Taemin. Well, at least before he became popular. After the first day in the library, we'd ritually meet at the back every lunch time, talking and laughing as we shared different thoughts and ideas. Over time, he had gotten to read every single manga book he owned ---- which was a load, let me tell you ---- and I had taught him to become a better liar, though, he didn't really need the extra help. Surprisingly, he was doing pretty fine on his own.

Major lie. Lee Taemin is one horrible liar.

He was the only friend I ever really had. Honestly, losing him hurt me much more than I care to admit.

However, there was one time, when I was around eight, that I had another friend. An imaginary friend. Her name was Jessica. I know, the same fake name that I used for Ms. Seo, but hey, it was a pretty name. Her full real name though was Jessica Louisa Elise Von Frankston, to be precise. Don't ask me how I came up with the name. My imagination as a child was pretty ridiculous.

I still remember how she looked though. She had long, light-brown wavy hair that was of the same shade as her eyes were. She also had a beautiful face and she always wore a deep green pea coat, which was buttoned right up to her long and slender neck, and it stopped just above her knee.

I don't exactly know how I 'came up' with her. All I remember was playing all by myself in the neighborhood park's sand pit, then turning around, only to find her standing right beside me. "You must be lonely." was all she said. She had a ridiculous accent that was somewhat partly Australian and partly Scottish. It made me smile.

I raised an eyebrow. "Who are you?" I asked

In a manner too mature for her age, she stuck her tiny gloved hand out. "Princess Jessica Louisa Elise Von Frankston." she announced ever so proudly.

"You're a princess?" I gasped in excitement. I had always wanted to be a princess. Or a mermaid. Or a fire truck.

"Of course I am!" she exclaimed, plopping down on the sand beside me. "I'm the princess of Chocolatoria and I live in a HUGE chocolate castle, with caramel unicorns and baby peppermint seahorses along with toys made from candy and jelly bean forests!"

"Wow...." I breathed out, amazed

"....and toy soldier maids and butlers, and bubblegum chairs and tables, and even a cotton candy crown!" she finished excitedly, pausing to breath

I titled my head in confusion. "Where's your crown?"

"It's in my castle, of course!"

"Can I see it?" I squealed

She jumped up, buzzing with excitement. "Sure! Come on!"

So, I followed her around, walking ad running around the isolated playground. I could remember my mother watching me the entire time, clearly wondering in her head what the hell I was doing. I didn't pay attention to her, though. I just paid attention to what was inside my mind.

As I ran through the playground, I pretended that we were running through a thick and colorful forest full of lollipops, chocolate and toffee. I swung myself on the swing, pretending that Princess Jessica Louisa Elise and I were riding a gigantic dragon made of white chocolate, who was flying us up to the castle ahead.

I climbed the monkey bars, pretending that I was swinging on a candy cane chandelier. I slid down the long slide, pretending that I found a secret underground lair beneath the castle which was full of golden treasures and secrets. I climbed up and sat on top of the spider net, pretending that I was sitting on the golden throne, right beside Jessica Louisa Elise. I ran and jumped and skipped and crawled all throughout the day with Jessica Louisa Elise by my side.

Finally, my mother looked up from the book she was reading and called out that it was getting dark and that we had to go home. I cried and screamed and threw a tantrum, never wanting my adventure to end; however, in the end, she won and dragged me home over her shoulder.

After I had been forced to take a bath after rolling around in filth all day, I sat cross-legged on my bed, whispering secrets to Jessica, who was right beside me. We whispered and giggled and squealed until midnight, when my mother finally demanded that I go to sleep and stay asleep. I closed my eyes and dreamt of the magical fairytale that I had the chance to visit. When I woke up, Jessica was right there, sitting at the foot of my bed. A giant smile immediately lit up on my face.

For the first time ever, I had made a friend.

Today was Choi Sulli and Lee Taemin's memorial.

I probably should have mentioned this before, but Mrs. Choi herself visited our house a few days ago and let me tell you, it wasn't just for idle chatter. As soon as my mother opened the door, a hand suddenly shot out to slap her across her cheek. "You filthy !" Mrs. Choi screamed. She was practically vibrating with rage, her powdered face beet red. "You raised a murderess and you even have the nerve to get away with it!"

"Excuse me?" my mother gasped. "How dare you talk about my daughter that way! She would never hurt anybody!"

I jumped from my position on the couch and bolted to the scene. "What the hell is going on?" I cried, putting myself between the,

She turned her vicious glare to me and pointed a shaking finger at my face. "You," she seethed. "You killed my baby!" she cried as her hand shot out to grab my hair.

Okay. That entire scene was a lie. We still haven't had any contact from Sulli or Taemin's families, which I must say was highly unusual. With such powerful families, you'd think that they would have done something by now. The fact that they've remained quiet about the whole thing made the hair on my arms stand up.

That was definitely a bad sign.

"Get dressed, Krystal." I heard my mother quietly say from the door.

I was staring blankly at my wardrobe, not even looking at the clothes. I was too lost in my memories. "Do we have to go?" I asked. "Everyone in town hates our guts."

"If we don't go, you will look even more suspicious." she answered calmly. "And that's now what I want."

I turned to face her. "So....you don't think I did it?"

She met my eyes levelly, hazel to brown. "No, I don't think my baby daughter is capable of murder."

I stared at her, seriously surprised. My mother had never shown affection to me before. We barely even talked. Secretly, my heart swelled from within my chest. I didn't want to admit it, but knowing that I had my mother's trust meant more to me than I ever thought it would.

After a few moments, I answered. "Thank you...mom." a reluctant smile crept up on my face. I never called her mom. Only mother.

Her breath caught and her eyes shone with emotion. Then, she cleared , pulling her face together. "Ermm...you're welcome. Now, get dressed. It starts at noon." she muttered awkwardly, before hastily retreating back to her room.

I just stared after her, wondering what the hell just happened. Is it me ot did my mother and I just share an affectionate moment? Goodness, me.

The memorial was, to say the least, extravagant.

As soon as my mother and I quietly entered the giant mahogany church, luckily unnoticed, my nose was immediately assaulted with the smell of Rosemaries and incense. It made my eyes water, too. The room was already filling with huge crowds of different people, all of them I could tell were dressed in extremely expensive black clothing. The service hadn't started yet, so everyone was huddled around in little groups, speaking in hushed, pained voices.

My mother and I quietly snuck to the back of the room, careful not to catch anyone's attention. I looked around to search for familiar faces only to find out that the whole town looked like it attended. Around the middle row was the entire cheerleading team, complete with tight black jackets and matching short skirts. I mentally scoffed. Even at a funeral, they still had the nerve to dress like s. Both of Sulli and Taemin's families were at the front row, sitting completely still. They bluntly ignored everybody's attempts to start a conversation, their eyes watery and faces grave.

I felt a pan in my heart. I had no idea how it felt to lose a family member in such a tragic way. Somehow, I considered myself lucky.

We both sat at the very back row, where three other people sat. They barely paid us any attention, though. I recognized Sunny, the owner of the small cafe across my street. Her blonde short hair was bowed down along with her head, her eyes closed in silent prayer. I had no idea how to pray, seeing that I had never really been a religious person.

I met my mother's eyes, which were filled with sadness. I knew that my mother hated the idea of death. Her hair --- which was a few tones darker than mine --- was elegantly twisted at the back of her head. She was wearing a simple black dress along with a pair of black heels. I was dressed similarly to her, my hair done up in a long braid behind my back. It looked like a whip.

The quiet murmuring died down, and feet shuffled as people sat down in unison. Deep, mournful music started to play, and I just noticed the huge orchestra situated at the right side of the large room. I looked up and saw an old man dressed completely in white robes. Four middle-aged men in expensive looking suits carried a deep gold coffin onto the front of the altar. The another, larger coffin. My heart stopped, and a single drop of liquid trickled down my cheek.

Oh, Taemin.

"We are gathered here today," the priest's deep somber voice resonated around the room. "To say goodbye to the lives of two beloved people...."

The priest kept on talking, going on and on about something I couldn't really hear nor understand. All throughout the service, people stood up to sing, people knelt down to pray, and people wept silently, dabbing their faces with handkerchiefs. A few close friends and relatives stood up to talk about both Sulli and Taemin, about how good they were as a couple, and how their lives would never be the same without them.

However, I couldn't focus on anything. My mind was only thinking of one name. Taemin, Taemin, Taemin.....One thought kept flashing in my mind: Taemin is gone. Forever. He's never coming back.

My heart felt like it had turned into stone from within my body, which had gone numb. I kept my eyes on the small three letters, committing them to memory. I felt as if my entire being had been crushed, stomped on and ripped apart into tiny little fragments. I could hardly even breath.

Taemin....Taemin, Taemin, Taemin....

I didn't realize that I was shaking until I felt a hand on my forearm. "Krystal," my mother whispered mournfully. I turned towards her and sobbed against her chest. Everything was just exploding out of me. She held onto me tightly, whispering words I couldn't hear into my ears. I closed my eyes tightly, letting everything out into the tears that spilled from my eyes.

Every memory, every smile, every laugh......Oh, Taemin. I love you.

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