MAJESTY...

"His harmful words hurt me ... His judging eyes killed me... I just was a 'No Body' with a wounded heart... and I couldn't wait for him to heal it... I wanted to forget but ..." 

It’s not like I’ve ever been in need of him... It’s not like I won’t be able to live without him... I still can survive, yes, even without him, even when he’s not around, I can live... “happily”! I will forget him! But how? I’m not even sure about it!

“FORGET”?  But he’s constantly around, he’s always been around, even in the moments I’ve wanted to see him the least, even in the moments I’ve hated him the most...

Yes, I’ve hated him... I still hate him... I hate him because of this uncontrollable feeling taking over me, I hate him because of this silly heart beating fiercely each time our eyes meet, I hate him because of his rough personality , because of his rude words, because of his mocking eyes when he looks at me, because of him making fun of me joyfully when he’s in a good mood, because of him scolding and abasing me for the least thing-and sometimes for nothing- just because he’s in a bad mood... These thoughts haunted me way... every day...

But why do I have the feeling that no matter what he does, no matter what he says, no matter how he looks at me, no matter how much he hates me... I still can’t control it, I can’t understand this sentiment...

My heart... it would jump out of my chest every time he shows up, every time he smiles, every time he stands proudly like princes like him should do, delivering a speech to his people, holding his sword like a hero. My heart would start racing at full speed when I hear his laughter, a childish, a weird yet a beautiful laughter...

I, who was just a “No Body” as he called me, I was hopelessly, desperately seeking for an explanation “What is all this confusion for? What do all these baffling, perplexing and contradictory feelings mean?” I was just... abashed...

My mother started working in the king’s castle 15 years ago, I was 4 years back then. And ever since I was a little girl, I would join her after coming back from kindergarten and help her doing little chores. I would be walking slowly, careful to each one of my steps, holding a bowl full of water, when a 6 years old boy would come and willingly trip me, laughing crazily, he was proud of himself for making me fall and become