Slim finger folding the white paper,

Within the white paper,

All his hidden feeling that he kept for so long,

He couldn’t confess his love,

He couldn’t say “I Love You” to her,

He couldn’t, She was his friend,

She had a crush on his friend,

He didn’t know how to react that day,

When she came up to him,

And told him that she,

The love of his life,

The person he tried his best to impress,

Was in love with his friend,

That moment,

The whole world stopped,

Everything seemed to move so slowly,

But his broken heart fast painful beats was heard from miles,

There was no air,

He couldn’t breathe,

Her melodic voice brought him back to life,

He snapped out of it,

It was real,

She was in love with his friend,

Not him,

Here she is standing in front of him,

Asking him to give his friend the letter she wrote for him,

His trembling hand,

Moving forward to take the letter from her hand,

He saw the happiness in her eyes,

In her smile while she talked about his friend,

It hurts,

His heart was screaming silently to the world,

It’s unfair,

She shouldn’t be in love with his friend,

She should be in love with him,

She was his friend since over 9 years,

And the whole time,

He was the victim to the painful love that grew in him,

He loved her since the early years of their friendship,

She was the one for him,

He was sure,

She belonged to him,

But life slapped him so hard,

The moment she came to him and told him her feeling towards his friend,

What was he supposed to do?

He could never reject any request from her,

But it killed him,

Knowing his love was a waste,

Will never be loved back,

He didn’t know what else to do,

When all his effort faded,

As if he did nothing,

The pain didn’t leave him alone,

Things didn’t stop there,

Standing in front of the class,

Slowly stepping in the class,

There,

The love of his life,

Wrapped between his friend’s arms,

He wanted to look away,

He didn’t want to witness this,

His fragile heart cant bear it,

But he couldn’t,

He couldn’t tear his gaze away,

They looked so in love,

And it killed him,

Knowing he is not her happiness,

He tried to imagine that those arms wrapped around his love body are his,

But he couldn’t,

Whenever he did,

She starts to fade into darkness,

Why couldn’t he?

Why?

Why can’t she love him the way he does?

Every time he had to witness the lovebirds,

A part of his heart died,

He knew,

That you can never force someone to love you back,

All you can do is wishing to be loved back,

Even if just a little bit,

He knew nothing,

He was lost,

He didn’t know what to do now,

He can’t love anyone but her,

He loved her so much,

Till it hurts more than what he can bear,

They used to call each other at night,

And talk about the newest movies,

Latest news,

Who is dating who,

What is happening around them,

But now,

No calls,

No texts,

And he was there laying down on his bed,

Hugging his legs,

His silent sobs,

The only thing you would hear,

His soft palms covering his face,

Covering his wet cheeks,

His red eyes,

He couldn’t,

He couldn’t bear the pain,

How can he bear this pain?

Alone?

Why?

Why cant he be the one she’s calling right now?

Why cant he be the one who she would call late at night,

Telling him how much she loves him,

He always thought he would have her by his side,

Every day,

Every night,

Every hour,

But how come it turned out this way?

How come he isn’t the one who is holding her?

The one she is in love with,

Why was life cruel to his fragile heart?

His heartbreaking sobs,

Grew louder,

As the sky grew darker,

People sleeping soundly under their blankets,

But here he is,

Alone,

Crying his heart out,

His tears running down his cheeks,

His harsh hiccups,

Fisted his hands so hard,

Till his fingers brought those tiny scars to life,

He didn’t know when or how,

But when he opened his heavy eyes,

The sun was already shining on his pale skin,

Slowly,

Raising up,

He looked around,

The messy room,

The books,

Everything wasn’t all right,

Walking slowly,

Till he stood in front of the mirror,

His eyes where so red from the crying,

But that wasn’t was reflected on the mirror,

The sadness that was engulfed in them,

The pain he kept,

Staring at his reflection,

Brought him back to reality,

That when memories started to flood back,

His love isn’t his,

Nothing he wanted was his,

He didn’t know how to continue this way,

Will he be able to?

Can he bear all this?

The pain,

The loneliness,

Abandoned,

It took him a lot of effort to gather himself and leave to college,

He didn’t know till when this cruel reality will keep going on,

He couldn’t even know how was there,

He couldn’t even speak,

Nothing would come out no matter how much he tries,

She came up to him,

Wearing a worried expression,

Her soft palm patting his back,

He looked through her eyes,

He wanted to tell her,

But he couldn’t,

He would never ruin her happiness,

But staring at her gaze,

Didn’t help at all,

Without him realizing,

The tears welled up,

Slowly sliding down,

Her thumbs came up to wipe them away,

She cupped his face and asked with her melodic voice,

“What’s wrong?”,

What was he supposed to answer?

He couldn’t,

He couldn’t say that her being in love with someone else is wrong,

He couldn’t say anything,

All he was able to was burying his face in her embrace,

She patted his back,

Assuring him she was here for him,

He rose his lips till her ears and whispered with a faint voice,

“Am leaving”,

She pulled away,

And looked directly into his eyes,

A confused expression on her face,

Smiling,

“I will leave to US”,

“Why?”,

Why? You really want to know why?,

Its because I don’t know if I can live like this,

Around you so close,

And still so far,

I can’t hold you like how I wish,

I can’t call you mine,

I can’t wrap you in my arms the way he does,

I can’t stand it,

It’s draining my life from me,

“I will further my studies”,

Don’t believe it,

Say you want me to stay,

Demand me to stay here with you,

I wished you would say anything would make me change my mind,

“Wow! Really? Then why are you sad? You should be have you are getting the chance to be able to study abroad”,

She gave me her kissable pout,

Baby you are slowly killing me this way don’t you get it?

I tried to smile and show her that am fine,

My palm ran across her palm,

Through her silky shiny hair,

His thumb caressing her cheeks,

Slowly getting closer to her face,

He closed his eyes,

And planted a soft kiss on her forehead,

“Promise me you will be alright?”

He said with a tired voice,

She smiled that angelic smile of hers,

And nodded,

Little she did know,

The love he left to her,

He took a deep breath,

Smiled,

And stood up excusing himself,

She ran to me and back hugged me,

I tried to prison the tears,

Turned around and hugged her back,

And whispered to her while patting her back,

“You will always be in my heart, no one else but you”

She looked at me with her innocent face,

And smiled,

I patted her head,

And stared at her face,

Trying to remember every tiny something about her face,

Even though I know I memorized it,

But still,

Staring at her face was something so different,

She,

Wholly was something from outside this world,

She wasn’t something you would find,

She was different,

Completely,

You would never find something similar to her,

From the inside to the outside,

She was one of a kind,

That day,

When I prepared myself to leave the country,

When I left,

I left everything there,

Except my love for her,

I couldn’t leave it away,

I kept it inside me,

Secured,

The days turned into weeks,

The weeks turned into months,

The months turned to a year,

Its already couple of years,

But the love he took with him never died,

That innocent love,

Was still alive and fresh in his heart,

Even though he knew very well,

That she moved on,

She is happily raising her kids,

He still kept his forbidden love in his abandoned heart,

The white paper slipped through his slim fingers,

While bitter tears slid down his cheeks,

He stared at the moon,

Until he again,

Fall asleep with a broken heart.