Title: Love Errors
Pairing/Characters: Kris/Yixing, Luhan
Genre: romance, crack
Rating: PG-13
Words: 5,906


I consider myself as cool and I’m a consistent honor student ever since I stepped on kindergarten all the way up to my senior high. Philosophy would be my best and favorite subject for I was very logical. In a very young age of eighteen, I have achieved hundreds of medals and awards involving my academics. A piece of paper for writing down or a day of orally mentioning all my achievements would definitely be a scarce.

Being blessed of intellectuality isn’t for everyone. Lu Han, for instance, is the complete opposite of me. We share the same age but his brain could be compared to a four year old. I’ll make seven to make it not so offensive.

Lu Han and I met at the school cafeteria as affirmation to his invitation of having me as a company for lunch. I really didn’t want to show up because I was busy scanning all the letter g words in the Webster’s dictionary at the library. We’re roommates, so it could be an acceptable reason for me to leave the fanciest place on earth just for a while.

“You don’t look okay,” started I, as we land our bags and tray of lunch on the table. We sat facing each other and I found he’s not really on a positive aura, entirely different of his attitude. “You should have taken the salad, not the meat. We’ll meet the doctor afterwards.” I continued.

“Canon EOS 7D,” Lu Han replied, it was much a whisper.

“I beg your pardon,” said I.

“I want- no – need a Canon EOS 7D.” repeated he.

“You serious about that? You look distressed just because you don’t have a camera?” I assumed his problem was not about food or nutrition, but the problem was somewhere around his neurons.

“Every man has it. Look around you.” He instructed and I tilted my head to the sides to confirm it.

“So you’re not a man if you don’t have it? Is it the measure of masculinity nowadays?”

“Wu Fan, you know, it’s depressing that I spent all my money for projects, expensive required textbooks I don’t even touch, tuition fees and whatnot! I could already have that camera!” Lu Han exploded, palming his face because of stressing out too much of himself just because of a goddamn camera.

“Call me Kris, I need not formality,” I said as I deleted the irk I felt when a close friend just referred me to my real name.

***

Three courses passed for a pretty couple of hours and there at our dorm room, I met Lu Han again, face more ill at ease, wasted and unwanted. “I have to get a Canon EOS 7D! I have to! I have to!”

“So that’s how you welcome a person?” I said. “Think about it, Lu Han. A branded camera doesn’t measure the length of your masculinity and the weight of your balls, and definitely, it’s not worth it if you have one. Other better models will come out – and I prefer Nikon. Be rational.”

“Everyone has it! And I bet you have one because your family is hell rich.” Lu Han replied, rolling in his bed, almost crying for all the gods to deliver him enough cash to buy what he wanted.

“If everyone has it, it does not mean you have to get one, too.”

“I’m a part of everyone, Kris.”

“Illogical.” I gave up and stood up. I took my backpack and started pulling a couple of shirts and pants and money from my closet, putting all of them in.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Dumb, it’s obvious I’m packing.” I replied, irritated.

“I mean what for?”

“Going home for weekend. I have to celebrate with Mom and Dad at their wedding anniversary.” I replied, zipping my backpack and wearing my shoes on as I am ready to leave.

“You can at least do me a favor.” Lu Han started. “Get money from your dad without him knowing. It’s not really alarming for him if you get some dollars, though.”

I stared at him blankly, and returned a stare at me. He’s really desperate. “I would do anything just to get one!”

“Anything?” I asked and he’s positive at his reply. I audibly exhaled and formed a curve on my lips. “Fine, I can do better than stealing money.” I winked at him and fled afterwards.

Well, I can really buy him one since I am Lu Han’s friend, and as he said, my father won’t really mind if I get money from him, with or without his knowledge. Money is never a problem to us. I smirked at the idea that just came out of my mind. It just happened that Lu Han has something I wanted from him. After having dinner with my parents, I purchased a Canon camera, exactly the one he wanted and the one every male in the campus has.

I came back to our campus dorm two days after. Lu Han welcomed me inside, eyes glittering in hope and expectations. I forcedly smiled at him and took the opportunity to land my bag at the table. Inside my bag was another bag, and it was a present for Lu Han. I pulled the gray camera bag and Lu Han rapidly stood beside me, an arm clutching on mine.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god,” Lu Han looped, and I hid the camera behind me.

“Oops,” I teased, walking away a bit from him, extending my arm. I grinned and gestured him a non-verbal message to come get the camera bag from me.

“Oh my god,” Lu Han almost yelled, not believing himself that this time would come. He opened the bag and there was the Canon camera resting peacefully on soft foam, beside it was the charger, additional batteries, cleansers and some other equipment.

He set aside the bag after pulling out the camera, he slung the strap of the brand new camera in his neck, trying to navigate and activate some functions of the gadget. Lu Han’s happiness is definitely drawn all over his face, saying a loop of several thank yous at me.

“Lu Han,” I started, hoping that I complement the gladness he’s having and continued, “You cannot get that for free.”

Lu Han blinked, hoping what he just heard was untruthful. He shook his head momentarily and his eyes went half-worried. “But-“

“I’m not talking about some sort of cash, peer,” I made it sound welcoming, trying not to disappoint him more.

Lu Han sighed in relief. “So, what is it?”

“You,” pointing a finger at him, “said before that you would do anything, right? Anything.”

He excitedly nodded, “Yes, anything. Kris, anything.”

“Are you and Yixing going steady?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest and trying not to look very curious and excited about Lu Han’s negative answer.

“Oh, not really,” he replied and I smiled at my expected answer. “We just go out sometimes for lunch and dinner. He’s fun to be with, not really hard for me to fall in love with.”

“Love?” I plainly said, trying my best not to sound jealous or something.

“I sort of like him.” He said, glanced at me with eyes full of curiosity. “Why do you ask?”

“Handle me Yixing as your payment.” I frankly declared, sounding so desperate and I somehow put some tone that will make it sound quite scary and alarming.

“No,” he immediately replied. “Why would I? Yixing’s great.”

I walked towards him and pulled the strap of the hanging camera off his neck and the time was so short for Lu Han to react. I took a great distance from him. “Then forget about the camera,” Lu Han’s eyes widened, but he just stared at the figure of Canon EOS D7 that I landed on the hard smooth surface of my study table beside where I am sitting.

I found Yixing very charming. I always see him talking to other seniors and lower batches with a wide grin in his face. He seemed to be very friendly and easy to communicate with. There’s a glow in his eyes that cannot be found in Lu Han’s cute eyes. Yixing’s lips were built as a perfect shape, glittering in my eyes like I always wanted to press mine against his. His nose was cute; everything. His physical attributes are almost perfect.

Yixing is definitely hot and is oozing with appeal. He is definitely a campus fame, everyone in the school knows him by his superb dancing skills, being him the president of the dance company. He also has skills in singing; he goes to the music room whenever he has excess time to do so with his friends, he also plays guitar and some instruments.

Talking about academics, I understand why, somehow, Yixing and Lu Han are matching. Yixing’s intellect can be nearly compared as to Lu Han, yet Yixing’s more advanced. My father would always tell me that people with high excellence, like us, should end up with spouses being with the same level of intelligence. Well, Yixing was almost perfect, but it may be resolved. He cannot be forever dumb and the reason of why I am existing is to teach Yixing everything he needs, after that, we can be romantically perfect for each other.

I grabbed my book that was lying beside the camera and opened it on a random page, not really reading. My peripheral vision was focused on Lu Han’s figure sitting on the edge of his bed. His eyes are directly looking at the camera, orbs full of want and sadness as well. Minutes passed of my artificial reading, and Lu Han is still eyeing the camera. I slammed the book close, audible enough for him to get his attention. I inwardly laughed at him and took the camera with me as I stood up.

“You know, you won’t be like that right now if you just accepted my condition.” I smirked and walked in front of Lu Han; soon, I sat beside him in his bed. Lu Han just bowed his head, drawing invisible circles in his leg using his fingers.

“Is there anything special between you and Yixing?” asked I.


“Nothing much.”

“Then what’s the hard decision all about? I did the favor of getting money from my dad and bought you this camera. Where did your ‘anything’ promise flee? You know everything has a price, don’t you?” I threw questions as I am trying to sort some conscience from Lu Han.

“Okay, dude, fine.” Lu Han straightly looked at me, “Just this simple thought, please don’t do anything hard on Yixing, okay?”

“Fine. I promise,” I raised my right hand as if I’m taking an oath.

Finally. “So it’s a deal?” asked I.

“Call,” He smiled and grabbed the camera from me and went outside happily to test his very own new photo capturer.

***

The morning right after that closed deal with Lu Han, I invited Yixing to have some hangout, most probably our first date, this evening. It was easy, though. I asked him if he was free, he said he was, and then the invitation took over which he gladly confirmed, with a bonus of exchanging cellular phone numbers.

We met at the arts building’s lobby and took him into the library. As we stepped inside, Yixing sighed.

“It’s eight in the evening.” Yixing cried.

“I know and you don’t have to purposely remind me.”

“No, I mean, it’s eight and we’re in the library? We must have a date, not lessons.” He said, and I got a bit of disappointment because I thought it would be okay for him wherever place we go at.

After ten minutes of seeing Yixing yawning, I decided to take him out for dinner. “That’s good you found out what a date really is,” Yixing rewarded me.

After dinner, we came to the cinema to watch a wholesome movie, then we went shopping and bought anything Yixing wanted. I felt so much pleasure when I make Yixing smile so widely and I love the way he touch my arms and lean his body close to me whenever he wanted something to point at. He’s cute and lovable. Yet, telling that this was easy for me to get along with him, conversing full of intellectually speaking, was an understatement.

Back to the campus, we firstly went in front of Yixing’s room, just a floor below where my room was.

“So?” Yixing started.

“Let’s call it a night?” I smiled at him, being fed up shown in my face.

Yixing smiled back, “Good night, Kris.” Then tiptoed and kissed me at my right cheek. The kiss was surprising and blissful. The tiredness I felt that time faded away when he did that.

“Good night,” I greeted and he waved me goodbye as he entered and closed the door.

I went back to our dorm room and found Lu Han sleeping soundly, hugging his camera with him. I cannot help but laugh at this vision. I had the chance to take a five minute hot shower. I’ve hit my back into the very relaxing softness of my bed sheet, I was about to close my eyes to end the night but my phone buzzed all of the sudden. I got slightly annoyed but I smiled when I saw the name the text message came from, and the fact that Yixing’s name in my phonebook is “Baby Yixing ♥” made me amazingly more awake.

“Hey, are you still awake?” The message says.

“Nope,” I replied, of course, jokingly.

“Douche. Are we having a second date?”

“You want to? I absolutely want to. Tomorrow?”

“I’d love to.”

“I wished that was “I love you”, hehe.”

“That was fast, though.”

“You kissed me, though.”

“It’s just some sort of good night kiss.”

“Yeah right. Still full awake?”

“Quite sleepy. I’ll sleep when you sleep.” Yixing confessed.

I took the chance to press in the “lesson” I wanted for Yixing to make him more excellent and ideal to me.

“Do you want some logic lessons? It’s fun! I promise.”

“Sounds so.”

“Hey baby, let’s sleep.”

“Baby? Hahaha. Okay, give me a kiss,” Yixing replied and I was stunned. How would I do such thing? Well, emoticons are made for a reason, right? I replied with “Mwah :* :”>”

“I think I like you. No love, yet, okay.” My face blushed red, I knew, although I’m in a place with total darkness.

“I do love you, since ever. Good night. :)”

Soon, my standard over a lifetime partner will meet me after Logic lessons.

***

As planned, I got my logic lessons ready for Yixing. We spent our lunch at a quiet place under a huge mango tree, it looked some sort of a picnic but it was fun. The light coming from the sun was a better help for me to see Yixing’s beautiful attributes more clearly.

“So, let’s start with the lesson?” I started as I took the last bite of the sandwich Yixing offered me.

“Yeah~” he replied in a singing voice, full of excitement all over his body.

“First thing,” I looked at his glowing curious eyes, “an intellect person must have valid reasoning, so we will tackle about the errors in arguments or what we call fallacies.”

“Fallacies, huh? Bring it on!” Yixing sang again, and smiled whole-heartedly.

“We’ll start off with Dicto Simpliciter,” started I and Yixing tilted his head out of curiosity, “it is a fallacy committed when an argument is based on failed generalization.”

“Example?” Yixing said.

“Take this as an example: is good. Therefore, everyone should do .” I declared, not pointing out the word  that much because it should be just an example, nothing else.

“But, Kris, that should be valid,” Yixing opposed yet talking gently and innocently. “I mean, is good. It’s pleasurable and it can be good to the health.”

“Nah,” I strongly pointed out my opposition, “The argument committed a fallacy. is not always good. For example, is not good for conservative people. And is not good for too young and too old people. The generalization did not qualify everyone. It should have been is usually good, or is good for liberated people. If not, then it’s a Dicto Simpliciter. Understood?”

“I don’t, no, I can’t understand. is really good.” Yixing persisted. It was quite annoying but isn’t this a clue that Yixing could be good at ? “Joking aside, let’s continue with other fallacies you have there!”

“It would be a convenience if you don’t pull my shirt,” I said.

“I’m sorry. Just excited, I guess.” He defended.

I smiled and continued. “Listen to this very carefully. You cannot speak Korean. Lu Han cannot speak Korean. In conclusion, no one in Ying Wa College can speak Korean.”

“Really? No one can speak in Korean here?” Yixing asked in full amusement. I tried to hide my urge of smacking him at his head.

“Yixing, that one was a fallacy, and it’s called Hasty Generalization. There are too few evidences to guarantee the given conclusion. Got it?” I explained.

“Yeah yeah!” He yelled, tugging at my sleeves again and shrugged it off because I came to realize that this was his mannerism whenever he’s very excited. “Give me more! Do you have more? More!”

“No tugging of sleeves, first.”

“Oh yeah,” he clenched his hands to limit his excitement over my lessons. “Sorry.”

I’m starting to give up. Yixing just gave me an impression that he’s hopeless, very hopeless. But I wanted to get him, so I have to become more persistent and dedicated to my mission of increasing his intellect. Continuing with, “The next fallacy is Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc,” Yixing’s eyes blinked in entire confusion because of the foreign set of words. “In English, after this, therefore because of this.”

“What about it, Wu Fan?” Yixing bit his thumb.

“Ugh, just call it Kris, jesus.” I said in exasperation. After Yixing saying sorry for the nth time, I still continued. “For example: It’s better not to bring Lu Han to the regional basketball game this semester. Whenever Lu Han is with us, our high school team always loses.” I laughed to myself whenever I use Lu Han on bad examples, it makes me happy.

“Well what a coincidence, I have this friend named Kim Jongdae, whenever we go to watch a volleyball match, the team I want to win always gets lost. He should had been cursed.” Yixing laughed, remembering hilarious moments with that Jongdae.

“Absolutely wrong. An audience has absolutely nothing to do whichever will win or lose on a game.” My voice going up and apologized right after I felt Yixing got scared of my sudden reaction. “Jongdae, and also Lu Han, did not make the decision of losing the game.”

“I’m sorry, I just thought of it. Are you mad, Kris?” Yixing pouted and what can I do with that pout?

“Of course I am not mad,” I replied, there’s a good idea that just inserted in my mind and smirked. “But.”

“But?” Yixing asked.

“I’m quite mad, and you have to do me something.” I said at him with shining eyes and enthusiasm.

Yixing hummed and continued with my condition, “You have to kiss me on the lips.”

“Is that necessary?”

“If that is you want me to stay mad at you.” I folded my arms over my chest, whistling while waiting Yixing to do the condition.

“Yeah, sure.” He gladly said. Yixing cupped my cheeks and he straightened up his body to reach me and closed the distance between our lips. Electricity all over my body was felt, and took the opportunity to kiss him back. I started Yixing’s bottom lip, asking for an entrance which he immediately granted. Our tongues danced inside the corners of Yixing mouth, tickling him at the roof. Wanting for air to breathe, Yixing slightly pushed me away and breaking the growing kiss. I sighed and cleared my throat.

“You want games, huh.” Yixing smiled as he pinched my left cheek, grinning at me like a toddler.

“That wasn’t a game,” defended I.

“Well, you only asked for a simple kiss, not a devouring kiss,” Yixing pouted again. “So you have to teach me more fallacies.”

My eyes twinkled. “Sure, why not, baby.”

“We have here,” I thought for a moment, “Contradictory Premises.”

“Which is?” Yixing asked.

“Let’s try this example: If Lu Han is perfectly intelligent, can he make a very difficult Math quiz that no one can even answer it?” I said.

“Well, possible.”

“But if Lu Han is 100% intelligent, he should be able to answer the quiz,” I laughed at the thought, but it’s just an example for Lu Han, so nothing serious.

Yixing titled his head, thinking. “Yeah, maybe Lu Han can answer it because he made the test.”

“But no one can answer it,” I said and Yixing just scratched his head, realizing he’s fully confused and out of arguments to say.

“This is all confusing, I—“

“Absolutely, if the premises contradict each other, then no argument can be formed.”

“Still confused,” Yixing confessed, wrapping his arm around mine, pouting and leaning his head on my shoulder. It must be romantic but I’m quite irritated.

Not moving on, I explained. “Just think about it, if you are dead, then you cannot be alive. If you’re alive, then you must not be dead. You cannot be alive and dead at the same time. It’s contradictory. Get it?”

“Much clearer,” said he, and closed the distance more between us. The warmness of our bodies is exceptionally romantic. “Thanks. Do you have more?” Yixing asked.

“There’s more but I believe it’s enough for today. I have my next class, and sure you, too, have,” he looked to his watch and realized the time and it’s ten minutes before our next subject. “Plus, I do not want to dry your brain that much,” I laughed it off.

“Yeah, true,” Yixing replied, thankful that he didn’t take it as an offense.

“We can have the other part of the lesson, maybe tomorrow? You have the whole night to review what you have learned today, okay?” I said and he agreed. I took him to his next room.

“Dinner later?” Yixing asked.

“Oh yeah, sure. But no lessons, yet, okay?”

“Yes, I understand, Kris!” He said, and tiptoed to pull our lips together. We really didn’t mind other people in the corridors staring at us. It’s like I’m a leading man in a movie and I own this very famous guy as my boyfriend. I like that feeling, though we don’t have some official labeling.

***

I smiled as I walk towards Yixing’s dorm room, remembering the silly things we did last night after dinner. I knocked at his door and he opened it immediately. He didn’t make me enter because he said we should be in a better place and not his room. Yixing decided that we go to park and watch some stars in the sky.

“So, do you still remember everything I taught you yesterday lunch?” asked I, as we stroll at the park, looking for a perfect place to settle.
“I hope so,” Yixing replied and smiled forcefully.

We have found a good place to sit in, perfectly only the two of us there.

“Lesson?” Yixing said in an unsure tone, though I’m surprised because he was the one to start about it.

“Uh yeah,” I nodded. “So let’s get it started?”

Yixing nodded and his excitement came out in a very obvious manner, and I just smiled, little by little getting fond of his actions.

“First, Ad Misericordiam,” I straightforwardly said.

“Translation,” he said. Yes, of course, he needs the English terms.

“It meant appeal to emotion or pity,” I said as he started to put his hand over my leg. “Take this situation: Lu Han is an auditionee for a singing contest. Well, the judges required him to introduce himself. Lu Han said, “Hi, I’m Lu Han, eighteen years of age. I came from a not so wealthy family. I do part time jobs just to earn money for my education. My mother has a third stage cancer, and my father is just a cab driver. I even walked for three hours and spent almost five hours falling in line for this audition.””

“Aw, that’s very saddening, I’m close to tears.” Yixing said, sobbing, really saddened to the example.

“You serious?” I hid my irritation.

“What was wrong with those statements, though?”

“It’s a fallacy,” I rapidly replied. “See, that was a singing contest and what he’d said is all about his misfortunes in life, not about his edges and advantages in the singing competition. The example was just to get sympathy.”

“Hand me your handkerchief.” Yixing commanded and I annoyingly gave the white piece of cloth, and Yixing wiped his tears. “That was really a sad example.”

I tried my very best not to hit Yixing in the stomach with my elbow.

“Next fallacy is False Analogy,” I continued as he was finished crying. “Have this as an example: Love is like drinking a cold glass of water. It brings refreshment to your body.”


“That’s an emotional example to follow. Don’t make me cry again.”

“Oh, shut up,” I whispered.

“What was that, Kris?” Yixing said, thankful he didn’t hear what I just muttered.

I grinned and laughed soundly. “That’s nothing. Just don’t cry.”

“Ah yeah, how is that that it became a fallacy? It’s a great statement!”

“Yes, it may sound very romantic but it has an error. You cannot compare love into drinking a glass of cold water, they are too different.” I explained. “Remember that most metaphorical statements share the same fallacy.”

“I’ll give you one more example about False Analogy: People should review before going to a Urine Examination. Students are reviewing before a Math Examination, future engineers also review before Board Examinations.” I laughed at the very obvious fault in the argument. “So, Yixing, can you tell me what’s wrong in the example?”

“Pretty easy,” he cheered and tugged my sleeves again, but I didn’t really mind it because I’m fond of it. “It’s not necessary for a review to a urine examination, it’s a medical procedure and it doesn’t really connect to examinations that measure your development on school.

I clapped my hands involuntarily, Yixing’s really getting sharper. “Very good.”

“Next, Hypothesis Contrary to Fact. Example: If the Americans didn’t colonize the Philippines, the people of the Philippines can’t be good in English language.”

“That’s true! I sometimes wished that Chinese and Korean people are great at the language, though!”

“Yixing,” I palmed my face. “That’s a fallacy.”

“How come?!”

“If the Americans didn’t colonize Philippines, there are more things that supposed to happen. It could have been the people from there are really dedicated to learn English that is why they’re fluent at the language. Or, it could have been other English speaking countries colonized the country. Get it?”

“But history is history, Kris!” Yixing tried to argue.

“But logic is logic.”

“Okay,” he pouted and I put a kiss on his lips, just to delete his disappointment.

“So, this is the last one, Yixing,” I said.

“Aw, really? The fun is nearly gone.”

“Well, at least, we’re finished at punching your brain,” I laughed and he stupidly returned some laughter. “So the last to tackle is Poisoning the Well.”

“Sounds cute!” Yixing yelled, tugging my shirt, indicating his unhidden excitement.

“For example: There is a Catholic and a Muslim. The Catholic was the first one to speak; he said that his opponent’s god is a devil. So people won’t believe what the Muslim will say afterwards. Now, Yixing, what is wrong with the statement?”

“It’s unfair!” Yixing yelled, gaining a nod from me as a sign of satisfaction on Yixing’s answer. “It’s not fair because the Catholic said something not nice to the Muslim in the first place. The Muslim didn’t get the chance to defend himself because he was attacked by the Catholic first!”

“That is very good, Yixing!” I complimented, “That explains the error. The first man to speak already poisoned the well, so no one will believe the second speaker.” I loved Yixing’s fast improvement. I wished Lu Han was part of this.

“Yay!” He cheered and tightened my grip on my arm.

“That was pretty easy, wasn’t it? Just focus and you’re good!” I said. “So, let’s review from the first fallacy we have tackled?” I suggested.

“Bring it on!”

***

After seven days, I have successfully made Yixing very logical, and he has met my standards. We can be matched perfectly now!

My job was successful as I thought, and Yixing is now worthy of me. He’s now a perfect boyfriend and lifetime partner.

I got sure of my love for Yixing and I decided to make our relationship official to us and to everyone. We met at his room; we had some couple shots of white wine, leaving Yixing’s cheeks in shades of red that made him more likeable and cute.

“Yixing, since our lessons for fallacies are over, and you’re now very logical..” I hesitated to continue.

“Aw, so no more lessons?” Yixing sighed in sadness and disappointment.

“Baby, we have shared seven days together. We have kissed, we learned several things to each other. Every day went well. It is now as clear as crystal that we’re perfectly meant for each other.” I said in a sweet tone, almost humming a song to be recognized beautifully by Yixing.

“Hasty Generalization,” said Yixing.

“Come again?” I said, shocked.

“It’s a fallacy, Wu Fan. How could you say that we’re perfectly meant for each other basing from those seven days with you?”

I laughed because of total shock. “Oh c’mon, Yixing, Seven days are considerable. You don’t have to taste a lollipop just to prove it’s good.”

“False Analogy, dear. I’m a human, not a lollipop.” Yixing said.

I’m almost lost of words but I cannot give up just this easy, right? It’s really amusing that Yixing turned to be really logical after all. So I thought of the best approach that I can think of. Proposing and confessing my pure love, it is.

“Zhang Yixing, I love you. I love you, dearly. You are my sky, the air, the life of my earth. You are all I need, you complete my day, my life, my everything. If you reject me purposely, I may have an easy horrible death, I cannot even shower and I may be starved for the rest of my life.” I said, hoping it turned out to be romantic and I did great.

“Argumentum Ad Misericordiam, appeal to pity.” Yixing said, wiggling his fingers.

My eyes widened and I cannot believe anything. I have to keep it cool or else Yixing will be gone out of my life; worse, forever.

“Yixing, you surely did learn about those fallacies, didn’t you?” I asked.

“Yes, I did.” He replied happily, sipping wine from his goblet, eyes staring at me.

“And who taught those to you, dear?”

“You,” he put down his wine glass, pointing his finger at me.

“Glad you know,” I smiled. “So you owe me. If you didn’t have the chance to know me, you would have never known those fallacies.”

“Hypothesis Contrary to Fact,” Yixing said in on go.

That was a nice attack; I feel my sweat trickling all over my face. This can’t be happening.

“Okay, Yixing, don’t take the lesson all serious. I mean, the lesson is acquired on education and classrooms. Not all things in school reflect to your life!” I said, sounding so defeated, yet still desperate.

“Dicto Simpliciter!” Yixing almost choked because of laughing towards my unbelieving reaction.

“Do you have someone else in mind? It seems like you do not want me anymore! Are you seeing someone else?!” I yelled, crying my heart out, stopping myself from tears to fall down.

Yixing’s eyes widened and lips puckered at the thing he just saw. “Oh, Kris, was that an accusation or something? Or that’s just another example of Fallacy Appeal to Pity?”

I sobbed and tears completely rode down my face.

“Well, if you may want me to answer whether I have someone in mind besides you, it would be Lu Han. He could be a good date, though.”

That’s it, I cannot take it anymore and I stomped my feet as hard as possible. I found myself standing tall, having a sitting Yixing still in front of me, without wiping the wet substance over my face. “Lu Han?! I can’t believe this! He’s dumb! His IQ can be compared into a ing gold fish! He’s not that good-looking for you! Lu Han’s a total jerk! He is not--- “

“Poisoning the well, honey!” Yixing laughed loudly, making it to my limit.

“What.. the.. heck?! What’s with Lu Han that I.. do not have, huh?”

“A Canon EOS D7.” Yixing continued to laugh, while I am here, having a hard time to breathe because of my sobbing.

“You serious?!” I gave up with the logic thing and asked Yixing face to face, yes or no, do it or leave it situation. “Are you still going to date me or not?!”

Yixing stood up, walking close to me, closing his distance. He lifted his hands to cup my cheeks, he wiped the wet substance off my face. “Calm down, baby. Of course I will,” Yixing said in a low tone, almost whispering but it was so hot that gave me shivers.
“But h-how about Lu Han? You said you’re—“

“Hush, baby. I was just joking around about your friend.”

“B-but, but.”

“You cannot have me if you still think that you have to meet your standards for your romantic partner, because if you keep on focusing on your standards, then I’m not the one for you.” Yixing said.

“Yixing..” I cannot find any words.

“Do you love me?” He asked.

“Yes, I do.” I replied rapidly, wrapping my arms around Yixing’s waist, closing our distance to make it warmer, lovelier and more convincing.

“Even though I have a brain as small as a mosquito has?” He asked, leaning his head on my chest.

“I— I .. Uhm, Yixing.”

Yixing was starting to push me to break the tightening hug because of the sudden disappointment he felt, but I pulled him closer. “I do. I’ll still love you.” I said, wrapping his arms back around my neck.

“You know, being so logical and brainy can be so poisonous you know. I want a normal living.” He said through the expanse of my neck, feeling the heat of his breath, leaving me wanting to touch him more.

“That is supposed to be my lesson, isn’t it?” I softly laughed. “I love you. Very much.” I said.

“I love you, too.. But, Kris..”

“But? What is it?” asked I.

“Go get a Canon EOS D7,” Yixing laughed as he faced me up, sealing our lips with a kiss which I immediately responded, making ourselves breathless and tasting the punch of alcohol on both mouths. God knows what has happened next.

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A/N: This is my first EXO and KrisLay fanfic, so, comments? <333
A/N2: This is my version of Max Shulman's Love is a Fallacy.