a/n: i'm sorry if it's bad (>3<)/ and short! i promise the second chapter will be much better~ enjoy! 

 

****

 

 

 

"Is it already late? Sorry, Myungsoo-ah," Sunggyu stood up from his chair. He put the books inside his brown old bag he carried over his shoulder. Myungsoo eyed the papers on the table. Some were crumpled and some were full with untidy writtings. He sighed silently, but was loud enough for his older brother to hear. 

 

"You're writing letters to him again?" Myungsoo asked while Sunggyu immediately grabbed it and put it in his bag. Sunggyu only gave him a sad smile though, before he walked to the library front desk to signed his name on the book. 

 

They walked home with a silent tense. No one dared to talk. Sunggyu knew what was Myungsoo thinking, and the other knew that asking his older brother the question that was currently spinning in his mind wasn't a nice idea to start a conversation. The sky was already showing his dark side and birds were flying over their head, probably migrating. Sunggyu looked up and exhaled deeply. 

 

"It's been awhile, right?" Sunggyu asked with an unexpected start. Myungsoo looked at his brother with a pity face. Sunggyu was smiling and his eyes were fixed to the sky, but Myungsoo knew the smile only meant sadness and regrets. 

 

"Hyung..." Myungsoo whined. He hated seeing his hyung like this. "You should let him go," he said for millions of times already. Sunggyu's smile disappeared and his eyes turned to face the ground. 

 

"I can't, Myungsoo. At least, not now," Sunggyu whispered. His eyes were close to tears and Myungsoo knew it. 

 

"Why?" Sunggyu only gave his brother a silent answer. He only forced a smile to Myungsoo and made the younger felt guilty to ask. 

 

 

The black haired man lied his tired back on the fluffy bed. His eyes gave all its attention to the ceilings. A sigh came out from his pink lips, something that he had always been doing for the past a year. Sunggyu closed his eyes, the memories kept lingering in his mind. Like they were trying to hold Sunggyu not to let go. 

 

He looked at the empty side next to him. 

 

"Woohyun.." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Gyu, gyu, gyu! Let's play a game," Woohyun suddenly said and Sunggyu turned his attention to the younger. He raised his eyebrows. 

 

"What kind of game?" he managed to ask before Woohyun threw him a suspicious smirk and rolled on top of him. Sunggyu looked at him in horror. 

 

"The 'Wide Eyes' game," Woohyun whispered as his fingers caressed Sunggyu's flushed cheek. "Who gets to open his eyes the widest, wins, and can do whatever he wants to the loses one," the younger leaned onto Sunggyu's ear. 

 

"What kind of game is th-" 

 

"I win!" Woohyun immediately shouted and he began to tickle Sunggyu on the stomach, making Sunggyu laughed loudly. Sunggyu tried to push Woohyun away but failed, as the younger's strength was stronger than him. Woohyun grinned, he managed to roll beside Sunggyu without stopping the tickling. He stopped, giving Sunggyu time to breath since he didn't want to die because the lack of oxygen. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hyung, dinner's ready," Myungsoo snapped Sunggyu back. The older only nodded and got up from his bed, tailing the younger. 

 

The dinner was silent as usual. Only few words were thrown to each other. Sunggyu felt guilty though. He should had been giving Myungsoo a nice stay since he decided to move in with Sunggyu. Myungsoo used to live with Sungyeol in their apartment, but he moved in since he found out that Sunggyu didn't live well since Woohyun left, so he started to be the one who took care of Sunggyu. Sungyeol on the other hand, moved into Sungjong's apartment. 

 

"You should stay with Sungyeol for a few days," Sunggyu suddenly said. "I know you miss him," his lips curved a smile.

 

"It can wait. For now I have to take care of my own brother. I'm scared if you'll do something out of hand while I'm gone," Myungsoo answered with still a blank face of him. 

 

Sunggyu didn't reply, since what Myungsoo said was quiet right.

 

***

 

"And Sungjong immediately falls!" Dongwoo told the story and laughed with the others — except Sungjong of course. The youngest pouted at how embarrassing it was. He crossed his arms on his chest and glared at Dongwoo. 

 

He took a note in his mind for not walking with Dongwoo again. 

 

Sungjong looked at the others, even Sungyeol, his older brother laughed until he hurt his stomach. His eyes spotted Sunggyu, who didn't laugh at all. Sunggyu was playing with his chicken porridge. 

 

"Sunggyu hyung! Dongwoo hyung is mean~" Sungjong whined to gain attention from the oldest. Sunggyu looked snapped back from whatever he was thinking. He looked at the others with confused face. Everyone stopped laughing and just stared at Sunggyu. 

 

"I'm.. going to the restroom," he excused and immediately walked away from the cafétaria table. The others looked at each other, eyes guilty. 

 

It was often like this; whenever they were gathering together and talked about things, Sunggyu was always the only one who didn't get it. Of course, Sunggyu was always busy with his own mind and he never wanted to share with them. They knew Sunggyu was horribly hurt about his boyfriend's accident. They tried to help the other though, for keeping him busy. Sunggyu knew it and he didn't complain. He even tried to enjoy the times with them but still,

 

When night came, and he found himself alone in his room, in the dark, the thought of Woohyun came into his mind and made him desperate all over again. 

 

Sunggyu looked at the mirror. He could see his eyes were getting more dark circles and his face looked tired. He touched his lips slowly; cold.

 

He remembered so well, when Woohyun kissed him passionately while running his fingers on Sunggyu's hair, the younger whispered that Sunggyu lips was warm and addicting. But now look what happened. 

 

His fingers slowly moved to the mirror, tracing on it like he was caressing his own face. Sunggyu knew he had changed - physically and mentally. He was getting unhealthy. His heart kept on hurting badly even though a year had past. Like God didn't want him to be happy anymore, the past kept coming into his head and his heart refused to let go. 

 

Sunggyu ran his fingers onto his hair, biting his lips to prevent his eyes from producing tears. 

 

 

 

He didn't go back to the cafétaria and only texted Myungsoo to tell the others that he was sick. He hated lying, but heck - he had been lying for a whole year, saying he was fine and all. He just didn't want them to worry about him too much though. 

 

Sunggyu's feet was bringing him to the highest place in the college. He opened the door that separated him with the rooftop. The wind immediately blew heavily like they were telling him to go away from the place. But Sunggyu was stubborn enough to step further. He was surrounded by fences, prisoning him inside. The brown orbs of him travelled around the place that looked dark to him. 

 

This place used to be his favorite place - their favorite. 

 

Sunggyu grabbed onto the fence, looking down to the people who were walking below him. He knew Myungsoo will scold him if he went here, but he couldn't help it. This place held back so many sweet memories that Sunggyu built with Woohyun for months, for years. This place used to shine so bright.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hyung, isn't this place beautiful?" Woohyun said while spreading his arms to enjoy the brightness of the spring sunshine. Sunggyu chuckled behind him, walking to the edge of the place. He could see all over the city from there and he loved it somehow. 

 

Woohyun walked over and stopped behind Sunggyu, circling his arms around the older's waist. He put his chin on Sunggyu's shoulder. 

 

"It had been 3 years, right?" Woohyun whispered. Sunggyu nodded and smiled silently. "We had through a lot of things," He said again but now followed by a light laugh. 

 

"Dramatic," Sunggyu commented. But Woohyun was right though, so he didn't complain more. He held Woohyun's arm that were holding his waist. Warm. 

 

Woohyun pulled out, just to turn Sunggyu around and pinned him onto the fence. Woohyun looked at Sunggyu with loving eyes, that were full of warmth and adores. He leaned forward, and surprisingly nuzzled to Sunggyu's crook. 

 

"I love you, Sunggyu." Woohyun smiled and either Sunggyu. Woohyun's hug was warm and comforting, making the older wished that this moment will last forever, that the time will stop. Woohyun pulled out, just to take a couple ring with him. 

 

Woohyun reached for Sunggyu's finger and put the ring into it. Sunggyu was speechless. Butterflies were tingling in his stomach and his mind couldn't work well anymore. There were like bubbles in his throat that stopped him from speaking. 

 

"Happy third year anniversary," 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunggyu closed his eyes, tears were b and he was afraid to cry. He promised not to, but he didn't know how to stop the tears. He leaned his forehead onto the fence, grabbing it tighter. 

 

"Since when you are going to be like this, hyung?"