Here I am, sitting on the patch of grass where we once hung out together. You laying your head on my thighs and me leaning my back against the tree. This time though, you were not with me and I was alone. I sighed as I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the tree behind me. The cold autumn breeze blew past. It felt cold, just like how my heart feels now. We were perfect; you and me. We had the perfect love story. And yet, I had to ruin it all. Can't I turn back time? Is it not possible?

"You don't realise how lucky you are until you're at the bottom."
"You don't realise what you have until you lose something precious."
"You don't appreciate people around you until they're gone."

Those sayings were true, I should have known. I regretted my actions, I badly want to go back to how we were when we were happy. The look on your face when you caught me in the room with your good friend on the bed is still deeply engraved in my memories. The hurt in your eyes, the way your lips trembled and the speed you took off from my room all showed how badly shock you were. I should have quitted my ways a long time ago. I told myself that it would be the last time but it ended up being a disaster. Since that day, I haven't seen you once. You were gone, like the wind. Even on graduation day, you did not come. I was so disappointed but I knew you weren't the one at fault, it was me. I hurt you badly, didn't I? It wasn't then that I realised I had truly fallen in love with you but it was all too late.

-Nine Months Ago-

"you, would you be my girlfriend? I know this may come as a shock to you since we were partically childhood friends ever since we were three years old but I had always liked you. I really did and really do until now." He rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly with one of his hand as the other hid behind his back.

Woohyun was the typical guy you could find in dramas. He was sweet, handsome and his family earned quite a amount of money. He was popular in campus and like he said, he knew me from when we were young.

I am you, I wasn't really pretty but I was quite attractive to the opppsite gender. My family like Woohyun, earned quite a amount of money. Everyone in campus knew us. We were known as the 'sibling' of the campus. We were famous and we had many people supporting us into becoming a couple. Of course, I loved the attention I gained by Woohyun's side. And by being with Woohyun as his girlfriend means getting more attention and more love, I would gladly be his. I would lose nothing but gain a lot. Yes, I did find him attractive too and through the many times, I had hope to become his girlfriend. However, no. I did not see him as a lover but maybe just someone who could bring me all the attention I wanted since he was quite well-known in South Korea. Don't ask me why or how, he just is. We were both different though; I had many boy toys while he had none."

"you? What's your answer?" He asked once more as he bit his lips with his eyes diverted to the ground. I chuckled lightly right when I saw the light shade of red flushed on his cheeks. He was adorable.

"Would you be happy if I said yes?" I and immediately, he snapped his head up, looking at me with wide adoring eyes. "Yes Oppa, I will be your girlfriend."

"Really?! Yes!" He punched his fist in the air and finally took out his other hand that was hidden behind his back all the while. He was sweet, really sweet. Turns out, it was actually roses he was trying to hide. "It's for you. I was afraid you would reject me and this would be my last resort but since you accepted me at first try," He pushed the bouquet of red roses to me. "They're all yours now!" I took them from his hands and counted them.

"Ninety-nine roses?" I tilted my head curiously.

"Rose is a symbol of deep passion and the longing of being together. Of all roses, red rose is the ultimate symbol of love filled with romance and passion that signifies "I love you". One red rose stands for "An only love", eleven roses stands for "a favourite", ninety-nine roses mean "Forever love" and a hundred roses means "Marry me". Woohyun started to explain it to me and I do have to say, it did make my stomach churned and flipped in different ways. He was just too sweet.

"Why ninety-nine roses then? Why not one, why not eleven? Am I not your only favourite love?"

Right at that time, two of my best girlfriends came up and handed me one rose and another bouquet of roses; the one alike to the one Woohyun gave to me. I went straight into counting the roses and it had exactly eleven roses in there. I heard Woohyun's light chuckle.

"Gorgeous, I gave you ninety-nine roses first because I wanted you to know that you're my love forever. I gave you the two later because I wanted to tell you," He took a step forward and held my hands in his, making everyone around us cheer loudly. "you,  my forever love is my favourite only love. And the only one is you. When we both graduate from university, I want to give you a hundred roses right here; in our campus arena where I asked you to be my girlfriend and ask you to marry me." He hands then left mine and trailed one hand behind my back, another up to the back of my neck, pulling me closer than we already were before. "Can I?" He breathed against my lips and I nodded.

Right away, he locked his lips with mine and I could hear the crowd cheering loudly, even my two best friends who were squealing at the side. I had to say, Woohyun was quite a kisser. One of the best I had to admit.

***

So that was it, we were both known as the perfect couple and we had the perfect love story. At least to others eyes, it wasn't to me. I didn't loved Woohyun. He was great for a boyfriend though. However, I still couldn't quit my flirtatious ways. But that's just who I am, the attention-seeking , a who just wants to be love and don't expect love from me in return.

Just a week into our relationship and I couldn't hold the urge to get another guy behind Woohyun's back. I just loved the feeling of being afraid that you would get caught. Woohyun should have known better than to get a player as his girlfriend. And so, behind his back, I got together secretly with his friend, Kim Myungsoo. You can't really blame me for getting together with his friend, he was hot. He was handsome, good-looking. Maybe I could last on Myungsoo. I could tolerate being with Myungsoo for a long period. He was going to be my new target for a boy toy and I am going to keep him by my side while I dated Woohyun.

It was okay going out with Woohyun I guess. But he never gave me the things Myungsoo could gave me. He never gave me satisfaction. Unlike Myungsoo who would go warm and cold sometimes, Woohyun was a big contrast compared to Myungsoo. Woohyun was romantic, sweet and caring. Appeals girls go for but not me. I was different. I go for adventure and not safe stuffs. I like getting dangerous and wild.

***

We were dating for three months already; I could break the Guiness Record in my list for lasting so long in a relationship that ties me down. Both Woohyun and I were out to the lake for some 'bonding' time. If it was Myungsoo, we would be in my room, on my bed, rocking the hell out of my life until my bed creaks and breaks rather than going on a boring date. This was the difference between the two of them. Woohyun was ignorant to the things me and Myungsoo were doing though.

"Let's take a seat under that tree there!" Woohyun pointed and I nodded.

He pulled me along by my hand towards the tree and he asked me to sit down first. I followed and leaned my back against the tree. He then beamed brightly and quickly took his place by laying his head on my thighs and the rest of his body resting on the patch of grass. It shocked me and I gasped inwardly. Although I had no feelings for him, it still weirdly affected me that he was resting his head on my thighs. I could feel his warm skin on mine.

He just smiled softly as his eyes were closed. He snuggled into my stomach and I it in quickly. "You don't have to do that. Just be yourself."

Be yourself.. I let myself go and allowed myself to go back to when I felt most free. I laughed and played with his hair. I patted his cheeks with my hands and he frowned. "Don't frown, you'll get wrinkles. I don't like a ugly old wrinkled man." I pulled on his cheeks to make him smile and he did.

Slowly, he took my hands and smooched each of them with such tender love and care. "Gorgeous, you know I love you right?" He asked me and strangely, something within me felt guilty.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered. How would he react if he knew about my relationship with Myungsoo? Would he still love me?

"Do you?" He turned his head to look at me.

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

Do I? I thought to myself. I wanted the attention and love, didn't I? If I wanted those, I needed Woohyun, right? And if I needed him to stay with me, I had to say "Yes, I do." My heart clenched in guilt. I'm sorry, Woohyun..

"All I need to have a happy day ahead of me." He said switching back to the front. His eyes fluttered closed and he folded his arms.

After a while, the silence was killing me and I was bored to death. Why did I even agree to this date when Myungsoo just asked me out to the hotel? I could be having the time of my life in the hotel with him rather than staying silent here with Woohyun.

"Oppa?" I called him. I heard no response from him and I looked down to my lap. "Oppa?" I called again. That was when I realised that he had fallen asleep. His chest rised and went down in sync with his breathing. He looked so peaceful, so strong yet.. frail. "Sleep then." I stuck my tongue out at his face before backing my head against the tree.

I looked up to the blue piece of sky above me through the holes in between the leaves. It was like everything in the world went in slow motion. Why was it that whenever I'm with Woohyun, things tend to go a few pace slower and whenever I am with Myungsoo, I had no chance to slow down and take in my surroundings? I guess it's because I liked speed, I liked danger, I liked being wild. I liked.. pretending.

A shadow suddenly covered the sunlight and I scrutinized the figure in front of me by squinting my eyes. A dangerous low laughter filled my ears and immediately, I knew who it was; Myungsoo. How did he find me here? I quickly put a finger to my lips and pointed to the sleeping Woohyun resting on my lap. He kept quiet at once.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, exasperated. What if Woohyun found out? Why did I even care that he found out? Was I.. feeling something more for him than just a friend? That couldn't be true.. I must just be afraid that all the attention on me would be gone when he finds out and leaves me.

"Finding Miss Goddess." Myungsoo answered.

"Lower down will you? He's sleeping!" I hissed quietly.

"Why do you even care? Let him find out then!" Myungsoo shouted and Woohyun shifted a little making me stiffened. I glared at Myungsoo and he quickly bowed his head in apology. "Come on, leave him here. Let's go check out some motel around this area and have the rocking hell out of our lives." He ed his hips in a wild manner and naturally, a dirty image came into my mind.

I smirked. "Always having your hormones raging, don't you?" I mocked and he shrugged. "Okay, just hold on." I told him and gently took Woohyun's head off my legs and placed them under a cloth that I was sitting on earlier. I then stood up and Myungsoo stretched a hand out, gesturing me to take it.

I slipped my hand into his and was ready to walk when a hand grabbed onto my left ankle. I looked down at my ankle and saw that Woohyun was holding onto my ankle in his sleep. I was terrified. What if he found out that I was about to leave him here for Myungsoo?

"Gorgeous.." He mumbled, his eyes still closed and I sighed in relief when his hand let go of my ankle.

Myungsoo tugged on my hand and I started following him away. Along the way to his car, I looked back at Woohyun all the time. Will he be okay on his own? People do recognise him and what if some bad guys ended up kidnapping him? Whatever, he was on his own now. However, the feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away.

When both Myungsoo and I reached his car, I realised that my phone wasn't with me. I probably dropped it while I was standing up just now.

"Hold on, I'll just go get my phone. I think I dropped it just now." I informed Myungsoo and he nodded. I then took off, going back to where I was just now.

When I was near the area, I heard Woohyun's voice shouting my name frantically. Had he woken up? If so, why was he shouting my name? Curious, I ran a little closer and hid behind the bushes.

"Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Where are you?!" He shouted and shouted. People yards away could probably hear him. "Gorgeous!" His throat was getting sore from all the shouting, I could tell. "Where are you?!" He slid down to the floor as he tried searching the area.

Then, my eyes caught what was in his hands. My phone. I gasped. How am I supposed to get it then?! The messages Myungsoo and I shared were all inside. The photos of Myungsoo and I were all inside too! Woohyun knows the code to my phone, what if he unlocks it and sees it all?! Worries filled my entire soul. That all went away when I saw his tears slipped from his eyes for the very first time. I had not seen him so sad, so broken, so.. vulnerable before ever since I first met him. Was he like this because he was worried for me? Worries filled my entire soul and body, this time due to Woohyun. I was worried. Should I step out now and tell him I was okay?

Right when I was about to step out, a hand held my wrist back. I turned my head a little and saw Myungsoo shaking his head. "Don't. He will be fine. You will get your phone back tomorrow, let's just go now." He persuaded and I gave in at first try.

So in the end, Myungsoo and I ended up having a great time at the motel banging each other's brains out. It was hot, y and wild the way I liked it. Something Woohyun couldn't gave me. All thoughts of Woohyun being worried slipped out of my mind the moment Myungsoo slipped himself into me. I couldn't care less what had happened to Woohyun.

***

The next day, Woohyun and I met outside my house. Strangely, he seemed to have cried a lot more than I thought as I saw that his eyes were puffy and red. He handed me my phone and told me that I had left it behind yesterday when I left. I took it without another words and was curious on whether he had seen what was inside the phone. However, I pushed that thought away when he didn't seemed to be furious or anything when he handed it to me. He probably didn't see what was inside the phone.

I didn't know why but I was more worried than I thought I would be when I saw his knuckles that had bruises and slightly scratched wounds on it. I reached out for his hands and examined his hands. He flinched slightly, I saw it. I did not touch his wounds though, why did he flinched then?

"Let's go." He said and pulled his hands away. I did not miss the bitter tone in his voice. What was wrong? Did he saw what was inside the phone? But it couldn't be.. if he did, he would be mad furious now.

The entire day, Woohyun did not speak more than ten sentences to me and it was strange. He did not initiated skinship with me as well. It was all strange how Woohyun seemed so distant when he was here. What was even stranger was me. I felt sad, I felt my heart being heavy. I felt guilty. Why was it this way? I did not feel this way with my other past relationships I had.

***

We were both five months into our relationship. It took Woohyun a month to be back the normal Woohyun he is when he was with me in the past. He did not mention why he was being that way and I did not want to bring it up too in fear that I might slipped something unintentionally. I was still in that kind of relationship with Myungsoo. I enjoyed every night I had spent with him. Not giving a damn to the world and just enjoying myself to the fullest.

Although Woohyun had become back to who he was initially, I started to change towards him. I was a little more conserved around him. I didn't really like having skinship with him. We didn't really went on dates as often anymore. Instead, I had spent almost every day going out on 'dates' with Myungsoo. Whether it was in the motel, hotel or the streets. I just enjoyed myself around Myungsoo more. We went on rides, we went to bars, we played, we drank and we fooled around mindlessly. It felt so good. I was having the in my life. I was still young, I felt young. Everything felt fast and wild, I liked it that way.

***

Seven months into our relationship and we hardly met nowadays. In fact, it had been two weeks since we last met although we shared the same campus. Woohyun did called but I did not picked up. I did not want to. I know my heart strangely wanted me to but my mind had full control over it. It said not to answer or call him and my heart listened. It pushed the guilt and longing feeling in my heart away, or so I thought. In order to distract myself away from those heartfelting things, I had spent every single night with Myungsoo. Whether it was his house, my house or the motel. When I was not with Myungsoo, I would be drinking my night away in order to let myself sleep soundlessly.

Today, Myungsoo and I were out to another bar to let ourselves loss. We had decided to break away from one another. He and I held no feelings for one another and it was a clean break. He wanted to get a new girl and I wanted to get a new boy toy. I couldn't last long with just one guy or to say, two guys. I needed more. More love and attention.

I was dancing with this man I met just two minutes ago on the dance floor, our bodies grinding against one another as I held one of my hand against the back of his neck. It was getting so hot and y, so down and we were soon going to end up in bed, I knew it. I could feel his arousal. I smirked and turned around.

I bit his ear and whispered my hot breath directly into his ear, "Want to take this to the next level?" Without waiting, I was yanked away from this dance floor. Going where, I don't know. It was okay for him to yank me away, I like guys being wild and demanding. I liked guys being the dominating one. It was a hot idea to me.

As we could not find a room anywhere, I was led into the back alley. He slammed me against the wall and pinned me there. He then lowered his lips and bit on mine. He devoured into my hot and wet cavern so desperately it made me moan. He liked it, I could tell as he ed his hips forward like a man in need.

We didn't stop, I didn't stop until I heard a can being kicked. It sounded loud yet, it was like it was on purpose yet it was a accident. I broke away and turned in the direction of the sound. I saw a black figure running away furiously. I couldn't see who it was. It bothered me. I felt guilty. Why did I? Did I think that Woohyun might have seen me? He couldn't, he should be at home like the good boy he is, studying hard to get a degree in university. However, I lost the mood. I wasn't interested anymore.

The guy didn't think of it much and went down for my neck. I felt uncomfortable so I stopped him. "I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood now." I apologised and pushed him away. I was lucky he was a gentleman and he nodded his head, understanding. "I'm really sorry, maybe next time." I told him and went my way.

***

Since that night at the back alley, I had not returned to that bar. Maybe it was because I had a fear for that place. A fear that Woohyun might see me cheating there. Why did I even care? Speaking about him.. I missed him.. Why did I just say? I missed him because he was a friend, right? He was my childhood friend after all so I would obviously miss him! That must be it. It shouldn't be much. If I could find another boy toy that appealed to me, I'll forget that Woohyun even existed!

Our relationship was taking off to it's eight month. This is by far the furthest I went although the last few months, Woohyun and I weren't really talking or meeting one another. I did missed the slow pace of life though. I missed spending my time with him. Strangely after that night at the bar, I did not received a single call from Woohyun. Was it because he had given up? It's been almost a month and he had not called once. Myungsoo too, went missing. He did not called me nor did he meet up with me. I did not even see him in campus.

Right then, my phone rung and without even looking at who it was, I answered. "Hello?"

"Gorgeous." It was his voice. God, I did miss his voice. Without me knowing, tears had already slipped down my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. "It's been a long time.." He said and was followed by a weak chuckle. "Are you doing well? We had not been seeing one another for quite a long time. When was the last time I heard your voice?"

I did not answer him. How could I when I was choked with my own tears? Why was I crying? Was it because I missed him too much? Or was it the pain I heard in his voice that made my heart clenched in... pain?

"Do you know what day it is today?" He asked and I shook my head. Silly me. He can't see you, fool.

"No." It came out as a cold answer. I hope he did not take it the other way..

"Right.. why would you even notice?" I heard him mumbled on the other side. Why did he say it in this way? "It's my birthday." It struck me badly. How could I even forget his birthday? Was it him to blame or me? He always hinted me when his birthday was near. He didn't bothered this year.. "Do you.." I heard him shuffling over the phone. "Want to meet up?" He asked.

I pondered over it again and again and I finally gave my answer after a minute. Suprisingly, he did wait for my answer. Why was he such a good guy? How did a good guy like him ended up being with a person like me? He deserved better. It was then that I realised those weird feelings I felt over the months of being together with him. Along the way, whether he was with here with me or not, I had fallen in love with him. Love was strange. They don't come when you expect them to and comes only when you least expect them to. They hurt like needles but feels sweet like a melody.

"Yes." I answered. "Yes I do."

"Great." His reply came right away. "Where do you want to meet?"

"My house." This was it. I am going to end my last night with him as my last boy toy. He was the one I loved. He had to know what I had been doing behind his back. He needed to know the truth, he deserves the truth. I was going to confessed everything tonight. And even if he doesn't wants me anymore, I'll accept it because at least I know, I was brave to confess my wrong doings and he knew that at least, I had loved him.

"I'll be there." He whispered and the phone got cut off.

I waited for him for half an hour but he still hadn't turned up. He should be here.. why isn't he here yet? I was nervous, so nervous. Unconciously, I fell asleep. I woke up when I heard knockings on the door. With hasty steps, I went to the door to open it and it was not who I had expected. It was Howon, Woohyun's other friend.

"you..." He called, a little drunk. Before he fell, I caught him. He was a good friend of mine too seeing how Woohyun was his good friend. He went missing for five months after Woohyun and I had gone three months into a relationship though. I had always wondered where he was but forgot about him not long after I was with Myungsoo.

He laughed madly and I frowned. How much did he drink? Not much I guess since he did not stink that much. "You know what I found out?" He blurted and I was confused. I did not speak, I waited for him to speak first. "I found out that I loved you. But that's not the point. I found out that you were playing with Myungsoo behind Woohyun's back. Why don't I be your new boy toy, you? I know you're looking for one, what do you think?" He asked as he looked up at me.

And so, the flirty side of me came out. I did not think of what I was doing. Why I had reacted that way came as a surprise to me as I was so determined to let Woohyun be my last boy toy. Was it because my love for him wasn't strong enough? Or was it the urge for a exciting life more important than he was?

"I think.." I leaned closer to Howon and whispered in his ear. "We take this to the room." I pulled him along with me and I could see a smirk plastered on his face. Yes, he had me lured into his wild cage. I did not resist or reject though. Why? I was still the wild you. I liked having fun, I liked the rollercoasters in life.

We were both locking lips and twirling our tongues as he slipped his shirt off. He picked me up from the floor and wrapped my legs around his hips, taking me to the bed and plopping us down. When he was about to take my shirt off, the door slammed closed. Closed? I did remember having the door opened. I don't remember whether we had closed the door or not but a door couldn't possibly close on itself. Judging from the strength and force the door closed too, I suspected it to be someone angry that had closed the door. Who could it be?

Then, a person popped into my head. Woohyun. He called, I picked up, we talked and I told him to meet me in my house. He knew my house's code number.. He could have entered the house. Howon and I were making out. The door slammed closed.. It all came to me. It was Woohyun who slammed the door closed.

The door swung opened again and there stood Woohyun with a shocked face. I could see the hurt in his eyes and that his lips were trembling. It did not help that I didn't moved away from the position I was in, under a half Howon who was equally shocked as me. Before I could get up from my position, Woohyun took off at a incredible speed, away from my room.

"Wait! Oppa!" I called out and hurried down my bed. I ran after him but I was too late. I was too slow in running. When I was out there trying to find him, he was already gone. I regretted my actions badly. Why did I give in to temptation? Can I never change? Why did I have to break the promise I made for myself? Why did I have to hurt him time and again? Why did I have to choose this day to hurt him? I broke down in despair and cried my heart out. I did not care how I looked like to the public. Why would I when I probably looked like a monster in Woohyun's eyes now?

When I returned home later that night, Howon was nowhere to be found. I was glad. I did not want another thing to settle when I already have enough to weigh me down that night.

***

Nine months into our relationship. Can I still say that we were in a relationship when you caught me in bed with your good friend? Can I still say we were together when we did not meet nor talk anymore? Can I still say you were in love with me when you were already gone, like the wind? I feel suffocated, it's hard to breathe in the room where you caught me cheating on you. I hate remembering your hurt face. It was hell. It's been a long time since I went to the lake, if I went there, would you be there too? It's the only place where I can find peace now.

-Present-

I opened my eyes and touched my cheeks. It was when I realised I had been crying too. Why? I thought I had finally found peace here. I wasn't one to seek attention or love anymore. I did not deserve them. I did not want them. You left a perfect image for in the campus while you had a bad reputation. Why did you do that? You should have let them known that I was the one cheating instead of you being the one that ran away with another girl. You gave me attention and love from others. You gave me something else too. You gave me pitiness from others. I did not want any of them. None. I don't want the attention and love anymore. I just need yours. I only want yours. Would you still give me the bouquet of a hundred roses still? Would you just appear right in front of me right now so I would be able to fulfil what I had not been able to that night?

A shadow towered over me and I glanced up. Like the last time when I was with Woohyun, I had to squint my eyes so I could see clearly who was the person in front of me. I took a double take when I saw who I thought it was.

"Oppa?" I called and the figure bended down.

"Hi, it's been a long time." He breathed and I just stared. "How are you?" He asked.

I did not answer. What would I say? 'I've been doing bad since the day you left.' or 'I'm fine.' when I am not at all. Words left my mouth before I even knew it. "Will you stay and listen to what I have to say? Even if eventually, you will hate me." He nodded his head in response without saying anything.

He took his seat next to me and leaned against the tree like how I am doing currently. "Go ahead."

"Truth is.. I had been dating Myungsoo behind your back while we were in a relationship. Those times I told you I was busy, I was with him. That very day we were here and you fell asleep, waking up to see that I was gone, probably kidnapped or something, I was with him. We had.." I bit my lips. I felt like a now for saying this. " many times. I truly did enjoy what I did though. I was.. wild. I wanted fun. I liked the excitement. We ended things after seven months and went our seperated ways. I wanted to find another boy toy and I went to the bar with Myungsoo.

I did hook a guy there but when we were making out, something happened and I lost the mood. I didn't go back to that bar after that day nor did I find another boy toy. You called me a month later telling me it was your birthday. I asked you over because I wanted to confess everything when I realised that I love you. I wanted you to be my last boy toy, my last relationship. Along the wait, I fell asleep and the knocking on the door woke me up. Turns out it was Howon. I gave in to temptation again and allowed myself to be indulged with him. You caught me on that day and I had no chance to speak to you.

I've been waiting for you to return and now that you did, I want to tell you everything. It doesn't matter whether you want me back or not. I just want you to know the truth because you deserve all these." I huffed once when I was finished, I finally got the chance to tell him everything. A part of me came back.

"You done? It's my turn. I knew it all. I knew it ever since the day you left me here. I looked through your phone to call your mother when I saw the conversations you shared with Myungsoo. I saw the pictures you took with him. It hurt me badly. My heart, hurt a lot even if it's just words and pictures. I saw the text he sent you that he was coming to find you and I knew you were with him. The next day I returned your phone, I was hoping you would tell me it was a misunderstanding and that you had a reason why you were doing all these. But no, you didn't even try to tell me anything.

I forgave you for that one after I realised that you could have changed and that you were just temporarily misled. I allowed myself to believe that you were busy studying at home when you did not have the time to meet me but a friend of mine said he saw you at the bar. So, I went there to check it out. Just right when I arrived there, I saw you making out with a guy, kissing. It made me mad and I left. Then, when I went home, I told myself it was okay. You just wanted fun. I could understand.  As long as it didn't go that far as having a with another man, I was fine with it because I love you. It still did damage me badly. I was scared to meet you or called you even. I mustered up courage on the day of my birthday and when you told me to meet you, I was elated. I thought, 'Maybe she wanted to tell me the truth? And that she loves me only?' How foolish was I to believe that you would change when I caught you there, on the bed with my good friend. I didn't want myself to be cheated anymore and so, I left. I wanted to forget you. I made Myungsoo and Howon leave because I couldn't forgive friends that even dared make a move on my girl. Much less touching her in that way." Woohyun turned to me and he smiled.

His smile wasn't sad instead, I could sense the happiness in it. "You know Gorgeous, I still love you."

My heart flipped and my eyes twinkled. Was there hope for me? For us? "Rea-"

"But I don't think we can be together. A leopard will never change it's spots. I'm sorry if you've change but I don't think I'll be able to be with a girl that hurt me so badly, so deeply. I had been thinking for the past month. I couldn't forget you. I couldn't when I loved you this deep. So instead of forgetting you, I decided to continue to love you. But we can never be together. I'm afraid that we would eventually just hurt both parties. Maybe not now but in future, when I am sure that we can be together without hurting anyone. And when the time comes, I will be here at the lake with a hundred roses, asking you to marry me. For now, let's just return to how we were in the past." He stood up and stretched a hand out.

I felt disappointed but I respected his decision. I understand that it would be hard for him to trust me again. If I really do love him, I would be able to prove it to him and he will be able to see that my love for him is true. Sadly, I slipped my hand into his and he pulled me up.

"Friends?" He asked and I nodded. Now, the other part is back within me. Although we may not be lovers now, we could be friends. He then pulled me in for a hug.

"I missed you so badly, chingu-ah~" He chimed and I chortled.

"You did?" I felt his head nod and I patted his back softly. A soft smile appeared on my face. "I did too." I whispered.

The autumn breeze suddenly didn't feel that cold anymore when it blew past. Was it because I felt warm now that he was here? My lesson learnt is that you should never take things for granted. Life is good having everything fast, young and wild but sometimes, you should learn to take life at a slow pace too. You can never turn back time, there is never a time machine for that. So cherish and protect whatever it is or whoever it is when they're there, don't regret only when they're gone. I've lost something or to be specific, someone special in my heart, a opportunity to have real happiness in my life but I allowed it to slip away because of my actions. It's too late to regret and you can only learn from what you have lost. All I can wish for now is that I would repent my ways and hopefully, he would be able to sense my sincerity and regrets for my actions. And that few years down the road, he would be here holding that bouquet of hundred red roses, asking me to marry him.

Awww, I'm being such a teacher, aren't I? *Sobs*