It was Sunday. The sun was barely up and the road void of the usual headache-inducing traffic jam. It gave Jia a great feeling to speed her car through the road without any obstacles as if the city was hers. However, the main reason to such positive emotions mainly stemmed from something else. She was about to start a new life, practically. It was more about the person she was going to meet, but she was so important to Jia that her happiness was Jia’s too.

Jia slowed down as she entered the public compound of the health facility. She always hated the hospital. The shiny clean floor, the sterilized air, the constant shadow of grievance on the visitors’ faces. Today was different though. Jia just couldn’t wipe hold back the smile on her lips as she maneuvers her steps into the monotonous looking corners which she had memorized by heart. She gently knocked on a door and stepped inside. There were two beds inside. No one occupied the bed closer to the entrance but the other one had a girl who seemed to be similar in Jia’s age, calmly packing her stuffs into her small luggage.

The girl looked up. A gentle smile immediately adorned her full lips as soon as she saw Jia.

“Fei.” Jia called her and opened her arms as she walked to her. Fei welcomed her embrace with one her own. They both gave each other comforting rubs at the back before they let go. Jia was glad that Fei looked much healthier. Her cheeks were naturally tinted with the shade of rose, and her smile looked much more genuine. Even though Jia could tell there were still blue bruises and bandages underneath her long sleeves and full-length skirt, Fei looked perfect. Perfect for a new start.

“Are you ready?” Jia asked, looking at the luggage.

Fei nodded. “Yeah.”

Jia proceeded to the counter at the general area and took care of the medical bills, even though Fei was against the decision at first. Jia insisted that she paid it this time and Fei could always repay her later. Jia put up a bright smile, knowing that Fei needed the optimism that nothing else could go wrong this moment onwards.

-

“Welcome to your new home!” Jia opened the door wide and stepped aside, letting Fei to step ahead of her. Fei smiled gently and took her time to scan her new surrounding. She had never been to Jia’s apartment despite them being best friends. Her ex-husband never let her step outside the house without his consent; which rarely happened and usually came with a punishment afterwards.

It was rather spacious for someone to live alone in it. There were two bedrooms and a large square living room which opened to a small kitchen on their immediate right. Jia used to rent with a couple other housemates but they moved out after a couple of years. Since then, Jia paid the rent on her own and converted the living room as her office-slash-studio since she worked on her own as a painter. The first thing that Fei noticed was the stark white wall all around. There was a large painting canvas on one side of the wall, illuminated by the refreshing sunshine coming from the large windows along the wall across the main door. Along the same wall were working tables with countless painting equipments, books and papers neatly scattered all over the surface. There was a bright red sofa placed nearby the kitchen facing the large canvas, surrounded by other smaller canvas stands nearby as well as bookcases and a working desk at one corner of the living room. There were also lots of small paintings adorning the wall. She also noticed a rather large lighting piece that looked like a sculpture of assembled tree branches hung in the middle of space. Fei loved it. The lighting was most probably made by Jia as well. It was amazing how Jia kept the cluttered space looked cozy and neat and yet chic.

“This is amazing,” Fei claimed, briefly looking back at Jia before she ventured further into the space. She reached out for the largest canvas. Her fingertips brushed its surface as she walked along the length. She loved the way the uneven bumps of the painting felt under her fingers. She had always loved painting. Just like Jia, she was also a graduate in fine art. After she married, her passion was no longer a part of her life, all because of her abusive husband.

Jia smiled as she plopped onto the paint-smeared sofa. She was glad that Fei still seemed to have interest in art and painting.

“You can start painting again if you want. I mean, I have all this space to myself I don’t know what to do with it.” Jia suggested with a little hint of urging Fei to start doing the things she loved again.

Fei let out a gentle chuckle, “I don’t even remember how to hold a paint brush.”

“You can always start it as hobby first. Who knows if you want it to be more than that later?” Jia shrugged.

Fei decided to not respond to Jia’s suggestion. She smiled, but Jia could see the bitterness behind it.

“I’m sorry.” Jia chirped and bounced back on her feet. “I shouldn’t be making you wait here. Come on. I’ll show you your room.”

The room was painted in white, Jia’s boyfriend, Kyungha, helped with it. He also painted the circular mural of snowflakes and stars in black in the middle of one side of the wall. Jia matched the painting with a pair of muted blue curtains with pretty white snowflakes pattern on it. The bed was an old metal framed bed from her previous housemate. After much sanding and fixing, the bed looked brand new after Jia painted it in black. Jia threw a couple of bright red pillows on it paired with a couple of patterned throw pillows in black and white, matched with the white cover of the bed and bedrunner in mustard yellow. There was an empty wooden desk at the corner of the room of the same shade of maple with the waist height wardrobe. The white wooden floor was covered with an old Persian rug with a mixture of pale shades of navy blue, maroon, beige and earth shades. Jia got the rug for cheap at a flea market, same went with the small crystal chandelier hung in the middle of the ceiling which she painted the frame with bright red. Fei could tell that Jia put a lot of effort into decorating the room. She fell in love with the room at first sight. Jia still had that touch of Scandinavian style of decoration combined with her very own favorite bold choice of colours on the accents.    

“Fei, you’re too quiet, you’re making me nervous!” Jia finally broke the silence. When Fei looked back, Jia was grinning and bouncing on her feet, which naturally drew out a light laugh from her.

“Jia, it’s gorgeous. I love it.”

“I had fun doing it. Kyungha helped out a bit before he went to Japan. I was thinking about putting up a couple of shelves above the desk, so you can put your favorite books there. I might get to it this weekend, so I hope you’re oka-” Jia stopped mid-sentence when Fei pulled her into a tight hug.

“Do you know how lucky I am to have you?”

Jia smiled. There were too many feelings at the moment; she thought her heart might grow out of her chest. Fei was probably feeling the same too.

“No, I’m the one who is lucky to have you.”

-

3.30 a.m.

Fei tossed and turned in her new bed. It was much more comfortable than the one she had in her previous home but she couldn’t find herself falling to sleep. Everytime she closed her eyes, his face would appear in the dark. She was so scared that she began to palpitate. Fei pulled away her blanket and sat on the bed abruptly. There was large noise when she accidentally pushed the alarm clock off the bedside table. Fei stared at the fallen object as she tried to practice what her counselor would usually advise her in this situation. Fei took a deep breath, and exhaled. She repeated. She started to feel calmer but there was no way she could fall asleep, she could tell. He would hunt her in her dreams, painful memories would keep resurface. Who knows if he would suddenly appear behind the door, looking for her?

Knock, knock, knock.

Fei flinched. The door opened slightly. Fei let out a relieved sigh when she saw Jia stepped inside.

“Fei? Is everything okay? I heard a noise.” Jia asked, almost whispering. She walked closer to the bed and sat on it. She realised that Fei had been sweating. Jia immediately pressed her palm on Fei’s forehead. “You’re sweating alot. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Fei forced a smile and gently put down Jia’s hand. “I just find it hard to sleep. I guess I’m still not familiar with this place.”

Jia fully climbed onto the bed and reached for Fei’s hands. She gave it an assuring squeeze. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about? Are you still reminded of him?”

Fei looked unsure, but she nodded. “I’m still scared. I know I sound stupid, but I... I’m not ready for this. I’ve been contemplating about leaving him numerous times, but...” Fei looked up, straight into Jia’s gentle gaze, “I’m sorry.”

Jia shook her head. “There’s nothing you should be sorry about. It’s not your fault.” Jia cupped one side of Fei’s face, brushing the single tear away with her thumb. Jia couldn’t imagine how much suffering Fei had gone through throughout her marriage with her abusive husband. He would make the slightest mistake (even made up some) as the reason to physically and psychologically abuse her. Months after Fei’s marrigae with her ex-husband, Jia began to notice Fei’s changes. She went out less, hang out with her friends less, she became quieter, she looked tired and wore covering clothes to hide the bruises on her body. Jia still remembered a few of months ago when Fei suddenly called, crying, saying that she was scared. The phone call died in the middle of their conversation. Jia rushed to their place with her boyfriend after making a phone call to the police. His husband was caught red handed and Fei was hospitalized since then.

Months ago, Jia would have grown frustrated at Fei’s meek response and yelled at her bestfriend.

‘Just get out of that house!’

‘Leave him! He’ll never change!’

‘Stop being stupid!’

But she knew now those words weren’t helping her in the slightest way. If anything, they just made Fei felt more of a useless failure, and thus furthered her reason why she deserved such hell.

“Don’t worry.” Jia cooed softly. “He’s not part of your life anymore. You can take all the time you need. I know it’s hard, but I’ll be here for you, always.”

“Thank you, Jia. If it wasn’t for you, I’d never...”

“Hush now... No more words,” Jia pulled her friend into her embrace and rubbed her small back up and down. That night, Jia lied next to Fei, their fingers interlaced together like two little girls. They giggled together at the stories of the past. From the moment they both left the motherland in China to further their studies in South Korea and their studying years. Jia wanted to remind Fei how happy she was. Maybe that would encourage Fei to desire such happiness again instead of pushing it away thinking that she no longer deserved such thing.