Listen to this song if you want to: KISS ME SLOWLY BY PARACHUTE

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Destiny is defined as the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future.

Destiny is just not another word for fate.

Fate is the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.

Well of course I didn't believe in fate. How could I? 

Fate is for lazy people.

Destiny is for those who just don't care for the future.

But I found out the hard way that destiny and fate does in fact exist.

It was a hot summer day, I was tired, I just wanted to sleep, going to schedules and having to give concerts was exhausting me but it was all for the fans.

The fans where not memorable, they were a sea of blurry faces, I pretend I remember them, I pretend like if I care when in fact I just don't care about fans, I care of my music, and that is all.

We were giving a concert on this place -I don´t remember the name- it was all the other places I have been in many screaming fans, annoying paparazzi, many tall buildings. The only thing I clearly remember was that it was really hot.

The concert was at seven, it was supposed to be the best performance Exo-m has ever made, and there would be a surprise for a lucky fan, I didn't really care about that so I didn't pay attention to what the manger was saying.

The time of the concert arrived. We sang all of our songs, mama, history, machine, two moons, what is love and the other songs. Angel was the last song.

But before that the surprise to the lucky fan should start, the manager entered the stage with a girl next to him.

He grabbed Tao's microphone and made an announcement, the girl would be present on stage while Lay, Luhan, Chen and Xiumin performed the song Angel.

The manager turned around and signaled me to approach and take the girls hand; with no other choice I did as he said.

I take this girl's hand in mine.

Lay started singing his first line on the song:

双眼 闭上又睁开害怕这一切只是梦
留恋 我就真诚站在你面前 渴望得到你视线

Eyes, closing and opening again, afraid this is only a dream
Not wanting to let go, I stand before you honestly, wishing for your attention.

When my hand touched this girl’s hand, I still can't exactly explain what I felt.

It was amazing.

I was nervous, I wanted this girl to turn and look at me, I wanted this girl to pay attention to me.

And when she finally turned I got the urge to kiss her.

She was the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on.

Long wavy hair, kind smile, eyes shining with tears of happiness, and a face full of freckles. She was a pure-innocent beauty. 

My heart started beating like crazy, it's beat increasing by the second, my lips started trembling, the way they do when I get nervous.

[Chen] 对我 来说妳比天使还灿烂耀眼
如果 有谁对你不义 我一定不允许
[Luhan] 仿佛 第一次进入伊甸园的忐忑不安 让我
[Lay] 每天只是望着你 心里一直想着你

To me you’re more illuminating than an angel

If anyone wills any ill towards you, I won’t let it happen

Nervous as if I’m stepping into Eden for the first time

I want to look at you everyday, think of you everyday

She turned around once again this time to looked at Tao, he was at the other side of her.

Chen, Luhan, Lay, and Xiumin, finished their performance and urged us, me, Tao, and the girl, to the front of the stage.

She introduced herself as Leia, it was a cute name. It suited her.

She was sixteen, she loved us, I was her favorite of the band.

I was still holding her hand.

My heart was still beating like crazy.

I wanted to kiss her. But I couldn't, not because the company didn't let me, or by the fact that we were on stage, I was just too nervous to do it.

She was beautiful.

Manger made sings to me to bring Leia to the backstage.

I was still holding her hand.

I lead her to the manager, and I whispered to the manager to hold her on backstage.

I wanted to talk to her; I wanted to know her more.

I wanted her to know the real me, not the Kris the leader of exo-m, but Kris the real one.

She got to know the real me.

Leia became the most important person in my word.

She became my word.

She became my breathing.

My hurting.

My happiness.

My tears.

My joys.

My love.

I decided to propose to her.

I wanted her as my wife. It was meant for me to meet her. I would dare to say it was my destiny, my fate.

But fate was a cruel thing.

And destiny... well destiny likes to stab on the back.

She didn't accept my proposal. After more than five years of dating she confessed.

She was dying,

She was leaving me.

Leia was diagnosed with cancer the day she meet me.

When she was diagnosed the doctors told her she had six months of life.

She lasted longer.

How was it possible I didn't notice that my everything was suffering?

A week after I proposed she passed out.

I took her to the hospital.

They confirmed the worst.

There was no turning back. She was going to die in less than a month.

I never cry, but I cried when I heard the news.

Other thing that made me cry. She was pregnant.

Neither of us knew, the baby was six months old.

There was no time for it to be born. Because my loved one was dying.

The day after the shocking news I decided I was marrying the love of my life no mater what.

We got married.

We were happy considering the circumstances.

But my happiness, my love, my caring for her was just not enough.

She died.

She died.

She died.

I died with her.

The baby lived.

It was a baby boy born on March 21th first, the spring equinox, weighting 4000 pounds, and making pouts.

My life, my love. She died the moment after she saw him.

She didn't even got to carry him.

She died. 

And I died with her.

The baby was named after her brother who had died at surgery while donating an organ for her, an organ her body rejected.

The baby’s name was Adrian.

He looked just like her.

One f the most painful thing I have ever done was washing her for the last time, she looked as beautiful as the first time I meet her, the difference is that there was no life in her body. 

When they started lowering her into the earth I think that was the moment I knew she was gone.

Thet she would never come back and surprise me with cakes or with a kiss, no more smiles or holding hands.

No more memories to create.

No more memories to share.

And watching her grave stone was the thing that broke me into million pices. 

Here rest Wu Leia, a miracle to some, an angel to all. 1992-2013.

I visit her grave all days and carry a tulip with me, her favorite flower.

Many years passed, I still don't know how I lived without her.

I don't think that was I did was counted as living.

I just survived

Making a new room for Adrian, I found a letter.

It was from her.

My dear and beloved Kris:

I write this letter knowing I don't have much time to live, I tried my best. I really did. I wanted to see our son grow old, I wanted him to call me mama, I wanted to see both of you playing soccer, I wanted to see you singing to him until he feel asleep.

But I can't. Because if I were still alive you wouldn't be reading this, I would be right next to you, taking care of our baby.

Kris, you always told me how much I meant to you. You are good with words. But I'm not, you know it, so I will try, just trying to explain to you how much you mean to me:

You were more than my everything.

You were my strength.

You were my life.

You were my heart.

You were my one true love.

You were my destiny.

You were always there for me, and I'm sorry I'm not there for you at these moments.

You used to call me your angel you said I was sent straight down from heaven  you used to hold me close in your arms 

I loved the way you felt so strong. 

I never wanted to leave. 

I wanted to stay here holding you. 

I promise you I'm still here somehow 

My heart won't never let you go.

I can wait until I see you again so we can talk about our baby, so we can talk about ourselfs so you can tell me all the parts on your life that I missed.

I promise you I'm in a better place, but I still wish that I could see your face. I know I'm where I need to be even though you are not here with me

Kris, remember to what song you kissed me for the fist time? It was kiss me slowly by parachute.

I want you to always keep that song close to your heart.

Because the lyrics are exactly how I felt for you.

I know I´m supposed to ask you to move on, to find a mother for our baby, but I can’t, I don’t want to. I now is selfish but I don’t want to share you, I want you to be only mine.

Kris, please remember I will be next to you, every time our baby is next to you, every time you see a bird, every time the wind blows, every time you hear music. Remember I'm right by your side.

There is a quote that I will like to share with you, here is it: "They say you die twice. Once when you take your final breath, and again when someone says your name for the last time.- Banksy"

I think dying once is enough, please don't forget about me.

 

                                                                                                                                                                         Yours forever, even thought      

  my forever didn't last as long as yours, Leia

 

Adrian walked in. He was five years old. 

He came and hugged me; he told me he also missed his mama. But he told me his mama always was with him and also with me.

He pointed to a corner.

There was a silhouette of a pair of wings.

Mama is already an angel was what Adrian said. He was wrong. Leia was always an angel.

Destiny is a funny thing.

Thanks to it I meet Leia.

But because of fate. I lost her.

But she never left me. Not really.

She left me Adrian.

He was just like her. Pure, innocent, beautiful.

I grew old alone. Without her.

In my dead bead I remember Adrian asking how I was so calm, how couldn’t I be afraid. I remember the answer so vividly.

For everyone there will come a time in life, that one has to face their greatest fears, so they will not be swallow by them.

My time is over, but I am nor afraid. I have waited to see my love again for so long.

I saw her again. She was beautiful.