You didn’t hate him. Well you were pretty sure you didn’t…. scratch that you weren’t sure of anything. Conflicting feels and emotions swam around your head, and your flat was already a perfect depiction of the state of your head. Feathers and fluff drifted around the room softly, after having been ripped from their cushion covers. Not really remembering how or when, you knew you’d flung your phone at the tv which had tumbled over and lay on the floor in a shattered mess. You figured it was just after you’d popped on the local news website to be faced with revelation that the gang B.A.P in which not only your best friends, but your boyfriend belonged to where now in jail… minus your boyfriend. Why your boyfriend wasn’t in jail? Apparently he was an undercover agent now portrayed in the media as a hero. An overwhelming sense of helplessness was the first emotion to hit you, and so you could only stare at the screen on your phone, but then the anger came. Without even realising it your arm stretched back and whipped forward only to sail through the air right slap bang into the tv, which then wobbled and teetered off into the wall where it cracked and broke into both tiny and large glass shards alike.

You clenched your fist as your face contorted, and you grabbed the first thing in your reach which happened to be a cushion. Seconds later it was ripped to shreds, and another cushion was already in your grasp and destruction was your path. Only a minute had passed since you’d seen the news, but already you’d broken not only your tv, but your phone as well and your hair and clothes had white fluff stuck to them. However, the initial fury and adrenalin that had swept your body into action seemed to have dwindled, and you were now left with a creeping sadness, despair and worry.  Shakily you took in a deep breath and your mind went blank, so you dragged your feet over to the tv stand and knelt down without even taking care to avoid the shards, and started picking the larger pieces up.

“Seriously?” a quiet voice from behind you piped up, and you froze with your hand gripping a large, ragged edged piece of glass. “You’re smarter than that. What the are you thinking?” Youngjaes voice carried to your ears again and you winced. There was an edge to his voice, and a weird tone. Slowly you straightened your knees and rose up into a standing position, still with the piece of glass, and you shifted round to the direction of his voice.

“What.. the am I thinking? More like who the are you, and damned if you have the right to come into my ing flat.” You had to almost drag the words out of your throat, but it was all you could say. Youngjae... no this undercover agent now standing in front of you, was no-one you knew. Don’t talk to strangers. Whilst in your own angry thoughts, you managed to miss his wince to your words.

“So you know. I’m sor…” he laughed ironically, and the most painful smile you’ve ever seen stretched his face unnaturally before he continued, “nah, I’m not sorry. Not really.” He brought his hand to his face, and massaged his temples like you did when relieving a migraine, and he looked through his fingers to your face and then they drifted down to your hand which still held the glass and his eyes widened. Without even noticing, you’d tightened your hands around the shard and blood had started to drip onto the floor. Even gazing at it yourself, you couldn’t feel the pain. You felt numb. Blinking rapidly, you whipped your head back up as you heard his footsteps despite how he tried to make them delicate.

“P-put it down,” he pleaded cautiously, with his hands stretching out and approaching you tentatively, wanting you to stop hurting yourself but not wanting to get hurt either. Smirking, you relaxed your grip on the piece of glass, but before he could smile in relief you used your superb throwing arm again to whip the glass through air purposely to just skim his cheek and stick into the wall behind him. A fiery gleam replaced the worried look in his eyes, as his shoulders tensed and his adams apple bounced as he gulped.

“I’m going to put it nicely only once, get the out of my flat,” you sarcastically smiled and pointed towards the door, “despite being a stranger I’m sure I don’t have to show you out.”

“You haven’t even let me bloody speak, _____, just listen to me okay?” he asked but with what looked like restraint, he obviously wasn’t happy with sharp objects being flung in his direction but he paused courteously to see if you obliged.

“Will I hell listen to you, you even said yourself that you weren’t sorry for what you did. All you’ve ever done with me and the guys has been lies, all you’ve ever said has been lies. I don’t even know who you are, and I don’t want to, especially if you don’t even feel regret for what you’ve done, Youngjae.” Having calmed down slightly, you refrained from swearing so much, in order for him to take you seriously.

“I didn’t say I didn’t regret it. I can’t go in the past and change what I’ve done, but in all honesty.. my minds in debate on whether I would change it if I could. But I won’t say sorry. That would imply that what I did was wrong, and that’s untrue. I didn’t betray yo…” he tried to continue, but you’d already brought your knee and kicked him where it hurts. Youngjae doubled over in pain, but you spoke anyway, barely taking breaths in between.

“Didn’t betray us? Bull. You pretended to be someone you weren’t, made attachments. Made us care for you. And then you led those who cared for you right into now what I realise was a trap. I don’t give a single that B.A.P, and I in fact are not innocent in any shape of manner… but the only reason they ing stole that batch of money was to pay a ing ransom that would save your life. Maybe I would feel better about it all, if you’d sent them to jail for other things that we’ve done, but this? This we did for you. Yet you care so little for us, that you let them fall. This is why I won’t ing listen to you, yeah? I loved you. I did. Hell, in some weird way I probably still do but those guys? I was friends with them, family to them, far before I even knew you. Far before I even cared for you, so now, even just looking at your face sickens me.” You got out, fighting against the salty liquid that was taunting your eyes. You wouldn’t cry in front of him, not ever. 

This was meant to be just a one chapter story, but I've decided I'm going to extend it. So here is the first chapter! Enjoy, and please leave feedback! Would be much appreciated! Mwah<3