Prompt number 42:

Always

Type: Oneshot

Genre: Angst/Comfort, Romance

Word Count: 2713

Pairing: DaeJae + one really odd person.

Time taken: I really don't know.

Music: Gravity by Sara Bareilles

  On The Shore by Slow Skies

Author's Note: I know it might be a little odd, but the extra 'odd' person stuck in my mind when I pictured this story as I wrote it. Do forgive me ^-^;

Personally, really really pleased with the first few paragraphs, but I feel like it gets ier as it goes. Idk.

Anyways, I hope this gives you feels fufufu. Enjoy.

chapter image taken from tropicalcoco @ tumblr and edited on pixlr.

Yours

Many a time have we fallen back into a situation in which both of us could equally valiantly say that neither of us loved the other anymore. Many a time have we been reduced to tears, broken and lost as we sat upon the dusty floors, hearts and heads tight with woe and regret. Of all these times, neither of us had once uttered an apology. Yet somehow, everything would be all right the morning after, and the both of us saw that fact alone as a reassurance every time we broke down after a fight. Over the years we both fell into a blind routine; a process that was little more than a matter of war preceding peace. The latter never came with any proposition, but it happened anyways. Neither of us ever understood why that love was still even around when our fits of rage were such common occurrences, but neither of us ever questioned this bout of good fortune. How many people can happily say that they are still in love regardless of the fights and arguments that happen? We both grew accustomed to this and treated our love carelessly. We did not foresee that as a mistake.

It happened during the winter. It was in one of the biggest parks we knew. Beautiful white crystals were drifting all around us, twinkling in the sunlight like little falling stars. Peachy pink petals floated with them, curling and twirling in the soft breeze that so gently tickled our ears and caressed our cheeks. I recall feeling at peace. Slightly happy. I guess he was as well. He had a calm, faint smile painted across his face, and I remember trying to keep myself from grinning like a madman. Easier said than done, because he did indeed look gorgeous that afternoon.

We were walking along a lovely cobblestone path. Not a word was spoken. It was as if we were walking for the sole purpose of enjoying each other’s presence. The fact that I could feel his warm body by my side, that I could sense the joy through the dips in his palm when he held my hand, it was all no hint to what was to happen. Everything was completely perfect. I knew something was wrong the moment he slowed down and let go of my hand. I stopped short, turning around with blankness in my eyes but confusion in my mind. I know that this was all supposed to be something we had gone through over and over again. But there was something about the way he looked at me that day that made me feel, for once, uneasy. I blinked expressionlessly, waiting for him to say something and break the dull silence.

“I think we should stop going out for a while.”

Thinking about it now, that was one of the first moments I had allowed my guard to drop around him. I remember my mouth falling open. I remember closing it immediately because of how desperate I was for him not to see that I was taken aback. I remember the lack of legible emotion on his face, how I could practically feel my heart tearing open a tad bit at the fact that his words seemed so effortlessly communicated.

“What?” I had said simply, plunging my hands into the depths of my pockets, clenching them tight and turning around to face him properly.

“I think we should stop… this.”

“This?”

“You know. Us.”

I swear that there was something about the way he said it that made my heart sink miles down. Something about his eyes and his empty gaze that made me feel that something different was happening.

And yet, I didn’t take it seriously. Because I am a fool. I allowed myself to believe that this was just part of our cycle. Because I am a fool. And I said,

“Okay.”

Because I am a fool.

~ - ~ - ~

It has been two months, and I have not spoken to him since the day we parted. What happened that fine day still remains in my head as a series of cluttered flashes. Each day as I lay in bed, shrouded in darkness, I see images and instances of every fond memory I have of him. My heart is nothing but a dull, aching shell, yet I feel no sadness, or pain. On the day everything came crashing down, I’d walked out of the park and out of his sight, before running home with my mind all fuzzy. I yanked the front door to my apartment open, trying to blink back tears. The slam of the door rang in my ears and I fell to the ground, hands clawing at my hair and my face, slashing away at the tears that managed to escape my vain attempt at courage. It’s just part of the cycle, I was telling myself. Part of the routine, I said. And that everything would be fine in the morning.

I crawled into bed with my crumpled clothes on and tears streaming down my cheeks.

I woke up the next morning, puffy-eyed and red-nosed. I chanced a glance at the screen of my phone. Something inside me was hoping to see a message from him. It was at that moment that I realised that everything was, indeed, not fine.

It has been two months, and I have not shed a tear since then.

Today I wake up in the morning as I usually do, and check my phone. There is nothing on my screen. I climb out of bed and straighten my shirt, shuffling to the bathroom and looking at the mess that I have become.

In the two months that have passed since the day he left, my life hasn’t been very eventful. I find myself constantly drifting in and out of reality, passing my life without much purpose. I spend my days wandering around town in search of something to do. Most of my time is wasted in the coffee shop we would go to when we were still together. I would sit at the table by the window, facing away from the counter where the cute waiter Dae always pointed out stood.

Today will be no different.

I wash up and try to get myself to look a little more presentable before stepping out of the bathroom. As I approach the full-length mirror by my bed, I press my hand onto my crumpled shirt and drag it down my torso, trying to smoothen it. Doesn’t work, obviously. I sigh and turn around to get out.

I shrug my jacket on as I step out of the old elevator and breathe in the fresh morning air. Two months ago I would have smiled at how pure it was, but that was two months ago.

I make my way to the coffee shop and take my usual seat.

“Same as usual, sir?”

I nod at the boy who approaches me, heart clenching at the sight of him. I used to be so jealous of him. I quickly look back down at my hands.

“You’ll have it in a moment.” he says, and it hurts me because I can practically hear the smile in his voice, and I can hear the warmth in his heart. He turns to pass the order over the counter.

He returns a few minutes later with a steaming cup of hot chocolate in his hand. He gives a little bow, setting it ever so gently on the table top. I nod a thank you, wrapping my gloved fingers around the hot mug. I stop upon realising that he’s still hovering over me, as if wanting to say something. I want to punch him at what he does.

“Sorry sir, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but, where is the other young man you’re always with? I noticed that it’s been two months and you haven’t come here with him since.”

I lift my head as calmly as I can, biting hard on my lower lip to stop myself from lashing out. I take a deep breath and turn to look him in the eyes.

“ happens, man. Some things don’t last forever.”

“But you still love him, don’t you?”

I want to laugh. That is a question I have been asking myself every day since we fell apart. A question I myself dwell on nearly all the time. And it is a question that I still haven’t found the answer to. I look away from him, my eyes and my heart drifting out the window.

“I don’t know.”

I take a sip of my steaming chocolate and pretend he isn’t there.

“You don’t know?” he echoes, sliding into the seat across mine. I frown. “How can you not know?”

“What how?” I say, looking back at him. “There is no how. I just, don’t know.”

He just looks at me, blinking. I don’t know what to do, so I ignore him. I drink my hot chocolate.

“There is always a reason. For everything, there is a reason.”

“Then this is a reason I do not know.”

He makes an odd face at me, and it ticks me off. “What?” I ask, furrowing my brows at him.

“Nothing,” he says. “You’re just a little odd.” He gives this adorable dimple-y smile, and for some reason, I suddenly realise why Daehyun kept calling him cute. His smile turns into a huge grin all of a sudden, and it confuses me.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says again, that lovely grin fading back into a soft smile. “I haven’t seen you smile in two months.”

I stare at him, not really sure what to think. My heart and mind are blank. It’s as if I don’t know whether or not to believe that this boy is real. I look down at my cup, then back at him, and then I scoff and continue drinking. I hear the feet of his chair scrape against the floor as he stands to leave, and I snap my head back up.

“Wait,” I blurt, suddenly blinded by… something. He stops and looks at me, a gentle gaze in his eyes. “What’s your name?” I must’ve sounded completely stupid.

He looks down at his pocket before chuckling and cocking his head. He smiles at me, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Myungsoo.”

~ - ~ - ~

“I still find it hard to believe that you have never even heard of the book.” I say, somewhat baffled by his claim. I fish my keys out from my pocket and jiggle them into the lock on the metal gate that guards my apartment. He shakes his head, earning himself another look of shock from me. “I’m judging you,” I say, smiling playfully.

“I told you I’m not much of a reader!”  he retorts. “I’ve never even heard of Charlotte Brown or whatever.”

“Bronte,” I correct him, walking through the door and closing it behind him. “And don’t you worry. I’ll turn you into one.”

“Here.” I toss him an old leather-bound book. He catches it and scrunches his face at the yellowed pages.

“You want me to read this old thing?”

“Yes, I actually do.” I walk over to the couch and fall back into its softness. I chuckle at his disgusted face, shaking my head. “You’ll like it, I promise.” He narrows his eyes at me and sighs, before curling up beside me.

“Chapter one.” he looked at me, as if for encouragement, so I nodded and told him to continue. “There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery…”

And so he begins to read. And read he did. He has an absolutely gorgeous voice. As the words drift past his lips, out of his mouth, I feel like I am slipping into a dream. His storytelling paints such a vivid picture in my mind’s eye and for once I feel perfectly at peace. I find myself smiling with him, frowning with him. I watch him fall so deeply in love with the words scattered across the page, and I soon catch myself smiling not at the story, but at him. He doesn’t notice.

There is a knock on the door.

We exchange confused glances and I stand up to get it. I open the door and feel my breath hitch.

“Hey.” Daehyun stands right there at my door, a smile spread wide across his face.

For a moment I am speechless; what is one to say when their (ex-?) love comes right up to their door with a single word of greeting?

“…Hi?” I reply feebly, blinking in mild confusion. “May I ask why you’re here?”

“I need to get my Jane Eyre book back.”

I am stunned silent, only managing to turn back to look at the very book he was asking for in the hands of someone else. “Why all of a sudden?” I asked. “You’d left it here for months.”

“I need to lend it to someone,” he says, surprisingly chirpily. Something’s off about him, but I do not bring it up. “Do you have it?”

“I… uh.” Myungsoo comes up behind me and presses the book into my hand. I feel so disoriented. I fumble with the book and pass it to Daehyun. “Yeah, um, there.”

“Thanks!” he smiles, nodding and turning to leave.

“No problem…”

I am about to go back inside when I hear a smooth, unfamiliar voice resonate through the corridor.

“Is this it?” it says happily.

I peek back outside and see him handing the book to a long-haired girl, before taking her hand into his. I retreat back into the warmth of my apartment, turning to find Myungsoo looking at me solemnly. I look right back at him, not knowing what to do.

“Let’s go to the library.”

 ~ - ~ - ~

On the walk to the library, I learned two things.

The first is that Myungsoo is a really good kisser.

It happened just as we reached the towering building. It looked beautiful. It was covered in a pretty white coat, yet it radiated a sense of warmth and cosiness. Outside the library, on either side of the sweeping steps that lead to the front door, stood two magnificent elm trees.  The entire journey there was quiet because I was still a little shocked about what happened, but the moment we reached the tree on the right, everything just… changed.

He pulled me back by the wrist and turned me to face him. I was a little blank about it all, but I do remember the exact feeling I got when he did it. It was like a wave of serenity. Or something like that. It was pretty amazing. I’m quite sure I had my eyes closed. But that wasn’t all, because I swear I felt something else. It just… wasn’t right? Like there were little pebbles in the wave that just came plummeting at me full-on. Sure, it was a nice kiss, but there was just something odd about it. I remember staring right into his gorgeous eyes for what had to be a minute before pushing him away and racing in the direction of the other tree.

I don’t know what drove me but I do know that I was running the fastest route to our park.

This is when I learned the second thing.

I’d just reached the park and was heading straight towards the place that started, and ended it all. There were tears rolling down my cheek and right off my chin and I remember how cold it suddenly got. I didn’t know what I was doing, nor did I know why I was doing it.

And I’m glad I did.

He was standing right there, a calm, collected look on his face and an air of elegance about him. The same soft, faint smile he wore, three months ago on that day. And when he turned around and saw me, it was as if everything bad in the world had just melted away.

It was then that I learned that I was, am, and will always be in love with Jung Daehyun.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”