You are my star
You are my dream
You hide inside of me
I have embraced even your pain
I mean the safety zone
--- Safety Zone – DMTN

He knew when he had to give up. Moreover, he could not move. He remained in his safety zone. If he had to move away, then he will go away. It will allow only himself to be broken down.

"Kang Joonhee!"

He raised his head, trying to smile and say hello with his hand to replied that call. He also saw Shiwon raised her hands and waved excitedly called him to be there. He walked to Yunjae and Shiwon reluctantly.

"We have to take a picture together!" Shiwon hold him excitedly and grab his right arm.

Joonhee lifted his head to look over Shiwon’s head and look towards Yunjae who smiled at him from Shiwon’s right side. Ask him for stay and doing what Shiwon want.

"Hana, dul, set!"

Joonhee turned his head toward the camera just in time and can put a smile on his lips. He had prepared himself. He has been in his safety zone. He'll be fine. Hopefully.

*

It’s already 6 years ago. Now he was 25 years old and worked as a young internist in a hospital. His career slowly getting better there.

He was hoping he could forget the little feelings that left for Yunjae. But seeing him again and he even accompanied him when Shiwon have her health check-up, he knew that he should still be in his safety zone. He still had the feeling for Yunjae.

And then when Shiwon ran out from the doctor room and hugged Yunjae excitedly then announced that she was pregnant, Joonhee not know what to do.

He could force a smile and congratulate the couple sincerely. But something inside him threatened to fall apart. He quickly go from there, giving a reason that sounds a bit unbelievable but he knew that he just had to get out of there. Before he was literally falling apart.

*

Dongwoo had just come out from a mini-market and playing throw and catch with a newly bought cherry tomatoes. He is playing for a while with a cherry tomato in his hand and without looking at the road ahead. Causing him to collide with someone and make him fall sitting on the sidewalk.

He blinked his eyes and see to whom he collided in the middle of the sidewalk. A man looks on his knees in front of him.

"Sorry .." the man said softly and tried to clean up the cherry tomatoes that were a mess on the pavement, knocked out of place from the grocery bags that belonging to Dongwoo.

Dongwoo still silent for a moment as he saw the man in front of him who with trembling hands tried to collect the cherry tomatoes that scattered on the sidewalk and seemed to cry.

Dongwoo considered the cry also did not realized by the man himself. Dongwoo hugged his shopping paper bag with his left hand and then his right hand caught the man’s left hand.

They both made ​​eye contact for a moment, then Dongwoo got up and pulled the man running with him.

"Eh ..? W-Wait .. Your cherry tomatoes .. "

"Let it go ~" Dongwoo said and still half pulled the man to follow him.

And that time Dongwoo felt thankful that the man did not know who him was just follow him without asking.

*

"Woohoooo ~ ~!"

Dongwoo stretched out both his hands and threw himself on the grass on the side of the river. He raised his eyes to look at the man beside him that looked a little out of breath and then looked at him back with a puzzled look.

"Try shouting .." Dongwoo suggested.

"E-Eh ..?"

"Shouting can relieve your frustation .." Dongwoo said as he sat up and crossed his legs. He pulled the front of his hat and turn it so that the back of the hat that looks ahead.

"Like this. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! "

The other man looked at him for a moment as if considering his suggestions or think of him as a strange man. But then Dongwoo could hear that the man followed his advice. He smiled a little and then come screaming with him too. No matter that some pedestrian walk crossing where they were on the side of the Han River is looking at them with an attitude of dislike or deprecating attitude.

*

Joonhee felt that he should be grateful to the stranger who he just met. He sat beside him and breath in because of his previous shout. But he felt better. Much better.

Just when he was about to open his mouth to say thank you, the man beside him was staring at him and held out his left hand toward Joonhee’s face. Joonhee froze and felt the man's hand touching the corners of his eyes, wiped the previous tears from his eyes that still linger there.

"A-ah .. Thank you very much .. " Joonhee said with his face burning.

The man laughed. And somehow the man's laughter makes him felt he also want to smile, to laugh.

"And sorry for the cherry tomatoes .." Joonhee muttered.

"No problem. I can buy it back later .. "replied the man.

"U-uhm .. My name is Kang Joonhee. And you? "Joonhee finally decided to introduce himself.

The man next to him make his hand into his collar and posed like he’s doing a little style, "Jang Dongwoo .."

"Jang Dongwoo ..?"

"Yeah! Do you recognize me? "Asked him enthusiastically.

Joonhee stared to Dongwoo for a moment until he shook his head.

"No," he said.

Dongwoo sighed, "Oh well, anyway I have not popular yet .."

"You .. an artist ..? "

"Rapper. Hip-hop artist .. though as you can see, no one recognized me .. "

Joonhee hummed. Of course, no one recognizes Dongwoo, in that year still many who are not interested in hip-hop.

"You'll be famous .." said Joonhee later, he says it without knowing the reason too for himself. He just felt that Dongwoo will be successful in the future. And he also wanted to say something nice because the other male also somehow made him felt better.

Dongwoo stared at him for a moment and then laughed, "Thank you. But you is not never seen me performed .. "

"Ah .. You're right .. "

Dongwoo looked at him closely and make Joonhee almost feel uncomfortable. Almost. During this time he was never to be the center of attention, he's the one who usually pay attention.

"What if one day you come to the studio?" Dongwoo asked, "The studio where I usually practice. So you can judge whether I'm good or not .. "

"E-Eh ..?"

"And instead, if you need a friend to accompany you shout here I could be one of your choices .." Dongwoo said casually.

Joonhee want to say something like thank you again to Dongwoo but before he could said it, Dongwoo let out a surprised voice.

"Gosh, I'm going to be late .." he said as he got up in a hurry.

Joonhee also stood awkwardly. He saw Dongwoo who have embraced the shopping paper bag again and was ready to go, but the man turned back toward him.

Dongwoo walk backwards until he stood before Joonhee and pulled his left hand up so Joonhee’s palms facing upwards. Dongwoo pulled out a marker from his pocket, he opened the lid of markers with his teeth and then wrote something on Joonhee’s palm.

Joonhee stood still, letting Dongwoo write on the palm of his hand. When the man was finished, he noticed Dongwoo smiled and started to walk away.

Joonhee look towards Dongwoo figure who slowly away from him and then lowered his head looking towards his left hand’s palm.

'Call me if you need some friend to make some noises ehehehe ~.~'

Joonhee see at the below of the message also written a phone number. He could not help but feel himself smile. But then his eyes fixed on the other posts listed below Dongwoo’s telephone number.

'Ps. Sorry, I use a permanent marker ~.~;;; '

*

"What happened to your left hand?"

Joonhee raised his head and looked to Shiwon that seemed to concentrate on his bandaged left hand. Joonhee see that Yunjae also look towards his hands and looked at him that seems like an asking and worried look.

"It's okay .."

"Are you sure? The wound looks big enough so you bandage around the palm of your hand .. " Shiwon said again.

"Really, it's okay. Eat your lunch .. " Joonhee said and lifted his rice bowl.

Shiwon and Yunjae exchanged glances, but ultimately did not discuss Joonhee’s bandage on his hand again. Might feel if they keep asking, Joonhee will feel sad because his wounded hand.

Although the fact was Joonhee’s did not hurt at all. He was just trying to hide the fact that Dongwoo’s used markers to write on his left hand was still unable to remove.

And Joonhee also still not contacted Dongwoo.

*

Three days passed and the markers in his left hand start disappearing little by little. But he still not contacted Dongwoo. He did not do it because he did not know what to talk about. Joonhee did not really like hip-hop music that he believes he will not be able to be a good listener for Dongwoo.

And again what would he say? He met Dongwoo just in one day and he did not look like someone who is depressed and frustrated in need of a friend. He has Yunjae and Shiwon when he needed a friend. Although they are more likely to support the health of Shiwon pregnancy now.

"Joonhee, someone looking for you .."

Joonhee lifted his head from the his clipboard, he wonder who is going to look for him on Friday afternoon like that.

"I think you've forgotten me .."

"J-Jang Dongwoo!"

Joonhee looked at the male who wear colorful clothes in front of him and looking at him with a look that half lazy half sharp.

"Y-Yah, how'd you know I work here?"

"You say your name is Kang Joonhee .."

"Yeah, so?"

Dongwoo just looked at him and smiled. Joonhee stared at him with a look of disbelief.

"Do not say that you .."

"Therefore, just now I'm up to here .."

Joonhee stared at Dongwoo with a look of horror. Do not know whether to be afraid of him or even feel flattered that the other male were looking for him.

Dongwoo showed a huge grin, "Just kidding. I know you worked here. I saw you on the day before yesterday at lunch and I followed you only to find out .. "

"O-Oh .."

"But really, did you forget about my offer?"

"What offer?"

Dongwoo paused and Joonhee somehow felt he wanted to kick himself for forgetting something.

"Maybe you're not interested anymore. Forget it .. "Dongwoo said then sighed. He moved as if he would go and Joonhee suddenly hold him back.

"Say it .." he said.

Dongwoo looked at his arm that held by Joonhee and then lifted his head so that their eyes met each other.

"You still have to see me perform, remember?"

"A-ah it .."

"Or you are not serious with what you say then?"

"Of course I mean it .."

"Therefore, you would come to the studio tomorrow?"

"O-Okay .."

"Yeah! Cool! Oh .. and why with your left hand? "

”I-It’s okay .." Joonhee said and tried to hide his left hand but he’s not quickly enough from Dongwoo who managed to pull the bandage apart.

"Ah, so .. You hide the markers writing .. "Dongwoo said.

"W-Where is the studio?"

Dongwoo looked at Joonhee and saw that he could not leave his studio address on a sheet of paper that was on the clipboard Joonhee.

"Give me your right hand .." Dongwoo said as he pulled out a marker.

"Hey, no permanent marker again .." Joonhee protested.

"It's not permanent, see .." Dongwoo said as he crossed his hand and then remove the cross with his hands.

"O-Oh .." Joonhee said and held out his hand. Dongwoo held his hands and write down the address of his studio this time in the palm of his right hand.

"Make sure you do not forget .." Dongwoo said with a broad smile and left.

Joonhee bit the inside of his mouth while look at the leaving Dongwoo. He sighed and looked toward the palm of his right hand.

Dongwoo write an address there and also a message.

'Make sure you do not forget to come tomorrow. Come around after the lunch hour.
Ps. I lied. This is a permanent marker kekekeke ~.~ '

*

Joonhee staring at a building that would not he visit if he did not know Dongwoo but he has said that he will come. Joonhee looked around where the walls of the surrounding buildings is absolutely no one that clean. Everything is full of artistic graffiti.

He sighed and began to push the glass door in front of him. Inside the building looked a little deserted but he can felt the vibrations and bass thumping music from upstairs.

Joonhee saw his right hand and saw Dongwoo writes that the studio where he used to practice were on the second floor. With little hesitation, Joonhee up to the second floor and find the room where Dongwoo at.

And when he stood in front of the room, Joonhee with half hesitated put his hand on the doorknob. Does he have to knock on doors before?

He decided to knock first. He heard a voice that sounded faintly from inside. Joonhee opened the door and saw only Dongwoo himself was there. The man was lying on his stomach and papers strewn around.

"You came!"

"H-Hi .." says Joonhee.

He stepped into the room that entirely have walled with glass mirror and there was no furniture in it except for a couch and a stereo set that is connected with two big speakers.

"What are you doing?" Joonhee asked, sitting outside the circle of paper around Dongwoo.

"Our company will do a showcase another month. Introducing our kind of music and musicians in the community. And I'm preparing for my first appearance song .. "Dongwoo said while twirling a pen in his hand.

"This is good .." Joonhee said while reading some of the lyrics of a song that written by Dongwoo.

"Nice but our president say that my lyrics have no life. Just good but there’s no feel.. "

"You have to write what you're feeling .."

"I know. You're saying the same thing as the president saying. But I can not do that .."

Dongwoo lying on his back and his eyes stared to Joonhee.

"I guess I have not been able to show that I'm a good artist to you. But I can show you my technique. Want to hear one of my songs that the president approved? "

Joonhee not say anything but nodded his head. Dongwoo smiled and stood up. He walked to the audio set at the end of the room and began to play an audio.

A hip-hop beat to be heard and Dongwoo began singing a rap lyric.

“Mic check then game set, the pose of a winner
My walking style is laid back
I do this till I got my own maybatch

Because I can’t give up now
The road that a man walks on
The road that he clenches his teeth on
It’s different from a textbook
A new fight forms every day
It’s the law of the jungle
That’s correct, history only talks about the winners’ stories
So I decide I’ll be the chosen one
Believing in fate,
Everything I choose is victorious way
My ambitions grow, it smears my voice that’s filled with desires
Today is same old different day
But if there’s something that changed, it’s definitely this
When I grow, the rule is that the world becomes smaller
I, who became a giant, flips over the world

The road where I’ll never become a wannabe zap
The road that many people end up failing on
I go on my knees and pray, Lord
That’s right, I hope for strength and skills to win this all
The world smirks and tells me as I bite on my lips
Crawl across the floor and dance, then come up to this spot
My day goes by again with sweat and tears
Needless to say, today’s another same old different day
But if there’s something that changed, it’s definitely this
When I grow, the rule is that the world becomes smaller
I opened my eyes today while grabbing onto the world in one hand

Walking on the victorious way
Walking on the victorious way
Walking on the victorious way
Keep going on cause we gotta going on”
(Victorious Way - Infinite H - with a few adjustments)

Joonhee did not know about hiphop song but he felt Dongwoo was good at it and he liked the sound of the Dongwoo rap in the song. Breath sound and tone of his voice that makes the song sound more interesting and acceptable to the ears that not know about hiphop.

"That's good .." he said with clapping.

Dongwoo smiled a little at him, "But now I have a big problem regardless of whether the song was good or not .."

Joonhee want to say that he did not comment on the song but how Dongwoo carry the song with all his heart. But he finally decided to shut up and say things like, "You can do it. Writing a good song for your first appearance .."

*

"Are you felt heartbroken?" Joonhee asked and staring at Dongwoo while he was reading a lyrics. Dongwoo shrugged and grabbed the paper out of Joonhee hands and tear it.

"It's not that, so .." Dongwoo mumbled.

Joonhee take a deep breath and let the silence for Dongwoo to think hard to find other ideas to make other song.

He do not know since when, Joonhee not sure, he visited daily the studio and have give any suggestion on the lyrics of the song that is being done by Dongwoo.

"Try not to look for ideas. The lyrics of your song was good but it does not reflect you .. " Joonhee said, trying to give advice.

"What I am feeling right now have too many conflicts .." Dongwoo mumbled.

"Huh?"

"No. Want to go out for dinner? How long have we here? "Dongwoo said, change the subject.

"At seven in the evening .."

"That’s why I feel so hungry. I do not understand how you're not hungry .. "

"I used to skip meals when the patients were needed me .."

"You're not human .."

"Yah!"

Dongwoo laughed and Joonhee moving his lips to form a smile. Dongwoo’s laughter is undoubtedly very contagious to anyone who hears it.

*

Joonhee feel that the dinner would not fit into his stomach. Who would have thought that he would meet with Yunjae and Shiwon as he and Dongwoo going to have dinner. Shiwon is naive and of course she invited them both to join.

But Joonhee can see that Yunjae noticed Dongwoo. Judging with his eyes whether the man is good enough or not to make friends with them. And Joonhee know that Yunjae will never judge Dongwoo as good enough. Dongwoo is too different. The colorfull clothing. A cap that he always wore. Accessories such as bracelets, rings, earrings and necklaces.

"So, Dongwoo ssi, you're a hip-hop artist?" Shiwon asked with interest.

"Ah yes," Dongwoo said as he swallowed his food, "and in 3 weeks I will officially debut. Our company held a showcase .. "

"Hiphop showcase? Interestingly .. I .. "

Yunjae interrupt Shiwon quickly, "Good luck then .." he said simply.

Shiwon looked at Yunjae with an asking glance but then she looked back at Dongwoo, "I'd love to see it, but I'll wait for your debut on television, Dongwoo ssi!"

Dongwoo smiled politely and glanced at Joonhee that almost totally not eating his food. Dongwoo take a fresh cooked meat from the grill in the middle of the table and covered it with a lettuce.

"Say 'aaaaa' .." he said, bringing the lettuce and meat in his hands to the front of Joonhee’s mouth.

Joonhee see Yunjae stare at them and Shiwon watching the scene in front of her with twinkling eyes.

Joonhee gulped and opened his mouth slowly while Dongwoo popped the food. Dongwoo patted his shoulder and said, "You have to eat a lot .."

"A-ah, ne .."

Shiwon re chatting with Dongwoo. And Joonhee trying to continue eating. But he just could not swallow food under Yunjae gaze that seemed ready to lectured him.

*

"He's not the right friends for you .." Yunjae started when Dongwoo said that he could not come with them up late and leave early. Dongwoo go home after giving his trademark smile to Joonhee and then walked away like he does not know that Joonhee hope Dongwoo would take him too to avoid talking to Yunjae and Shiwon.

"Why? He looks good .. "

"He could be a bad influence for Joonhee .."

"I do not see that it will bring bad influence. He looks sweet and has a charming personality .. "

"Shiwon. Just did not say anything, okay? "

"Meanie .." said Shiwon and pouted but finally silent.

Yunjae looked again to Joonhee and sighed, "You know what I mean, Joonhee. When was the last time you even talk to us. Looks like I now know where were you when we tried to go away or just meet for lunch with you .. "

Joonhee remain silent. He knew that he would have preferred to see Dongwoo rather than being a third wheel in between Yunjae and Shiwon. He knew that he might take advantage of Dongwoo to forget his feelings on Yunjae. But was Yunjae think about that? No. Yunjae is still a selfish, stupid and stubborn as ever.

"You have to reduce the time you meet him. As I said, he will bring bad influence to you, Joonhee .. "

*

Joonhee always trying to please people. He tried to make them proud of him. And this time he is trying to please Yunjae by making him there in their joint activities with Shiwon and Yunjae.

Dongwoo sent many text messages to him but he did not respond. Knowing that his movements will be noticed by Yunjae. He wanted to explain everything to Dongwoo. He even hoped maybe Dongwoo would appear before him and probably take him away from Yunjae and Shiwon.

But his hopes did not fulfilled. He was trapped there. In his safety zone. With the remnants of his feelings and with Shiwon and Yunjae surround him.

*

Dongwoo wondered to himself why Joonhee did not come to the studio again. Do the other male were busy at the hospital? But even though he’s busy he knew that Joonhee usually would reply his message. Three days later and Joonhee were never reply to any of his messages.

Dongwoo sighed and stared at the ceiling of  his studio. He turned his face toward where Joonhee used to sit next to him and read the lyrics of his song that he made. He raised his right hand and as if he were touching something in the air. He imagines Joonhee be there. Reading the lyrics seriously and Dongwoo like it. He likes serious expression or Joonhee awkwardness.

"Where are you now? And why do I feel empty when you're not here? "

*

"Have you forgotten me again?"

Joonhee almost had a heart attack when he saw Dongwoo at the front door of his room at the hospital.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing there ignoring me again?"

"Jang Dongwoo .."

"Kang Joonhee .."

Joonhee sighed, "Listen. You can not be here. This is not a place where you can play or .. "
 

“Am I a person who always play and never serious in your eyes? Because my style of clothes? Because I do hiphop? "

"Dongwoo .."

Dongwoo sighed as well and then walked to Joonhee who stood beside his desk. He was too surprised to see Dongwoo that he got up from his chair.

"Are this is not a hospital?" Dongwoo asked.

"Huh? Of course it is, what .. "

"My head hurts .." Dongwoo said as he lowered his head and held the front of Joonhee jacket hospital.

"I think it's already five days I did not sleep .."

"H-Huh? Then go home and sleep. Do not forget to take aspirin to relieve the pain .. "

"But is not the sick always go to the hospital?"

"D-Dongwoo .."

"Let me sleep here for a while. I will not bother you. I'm not going to play around. I'll shut up. "

And before Joonhee could speak, Dongwoo pulled him. He sitting on Joonhee’s chair and pulled Joonhee to sit in his lap.

"J-Jang Dongwoo .."

"Sssh .. Let me sleep now .. "

Joonhee froze and let him to sit on Dongwoo’s lap and hugged him from behind. Dongwoo face was on Joonhee’s back. And for not a long time, Joonhee can hear Dongwoo breathing peacefully.

He sighed and covered his face with his left hand. If there are co-workers at the hospital who saw him right now, he will surely cause a lot of rumors going around about him. But on the other hand, Joonhee felt that he had no objection. He was grateful that Dongwoo came to see him.

"I was thinking how are you at the past two weeks. Have you found the right song for you? "

*

Dongwoo and Joonhee never met again after that. He wondered that perhaps the man was equally busy with himself. The day that was also the debut showcase were already close and it certainly was the most important for Dongwoo.

He sighed and looked at his cell phone. But although he was a busy man obviously Dongwoo still sending messages every day. The message that he never reply to remain in his safety zone. The safety zone that feels like caged him.

*

'Do not forget that tonight you will dine with us.'

Joonhee looked at Yunjae’s message to him and felt he wanted to saying that he would not go, and argued that he was not feeling well. But he knew it would only make Yunjae and Shiwon come to his apartment.

He was just about to reply that he will never forget and will come when another messages come into the cell. Joonhee open the message and stunned.

'You will not forget the day my showcase right? You will not come? '

Joonhee’s throat felt clogged. He knew that Dongwoo was personally invited him to come long before he began to stay away from him. And he wanted to come. He wants to show that he supports him, and he also wanted to hear the song that will be sung by Dongwoo. Although he was not a fan of hip-hop as a whole but he wanted to hear Dongwoo’s voice.

Joonhee paused. Can’t decided. But eventually he had to choose. He typed a short message containing 'I'll be there' to Yunjae and send that.

*

Joonhee run and almost let him hit dozens of other people's body. He did not think that the place where a hip-hop showcase will be held as fully and as busy as it was. But after tens of times past many bodies of the crowd, he managed to get close to the stage.

He could see the panting Dongwoo due dancing full of strength and energy along with other hip-hop artists of the company with him. Joonhee hope it is not too late to see Dongwoo’s solo stage.

Joonhee like chanting Dongwoo’s name to indicate his presence. But before he could open his mouth, Dongwoo had raised his head and met his eyes. For a moment, his eyes showed surprise but then his eyes seemed to smile at him.

Lights on the stage went black again and Joonhee almost felt scared that he was really too late. Lights came back on but the showcase’s mc just come in and announce that there is another solo stage. And Joonhee was relieved that he came right on time.

The lights dimmed again and then there was a rhythm sound. For a while the lights on the stage remained dark but there lights slowly came on and showed a throne chair and Dongwoo sitting there. With a black shirt with leather accessories circling his back to his stomach and gold accessory around his collar. Dongwoo who is usually dressed colorful now only show one color. Dark. But there are parts of him that seemed to shine. And a cap that usually covers his hair also seem invisible. Joonhee hardly surprised when he saw that Dongwoo hair colored his hair in purple but it looks good for him.

And the songs that are sung by Dongwoo, Joonhee realized that through the song Dongwoo was staring at him  and even danced the chorus part and occasionally pointing at him.

There maybe other spectators did not know that. But Joonhee know that Dongwoo write that songs for him. And Dongwoo know that Joonhee aware of it.

*

Dongwoo had heard Joonhee asked him if he always dressed in colorfull just because hiphop music or his personality. And that time Dongwoo just laughed and did not answer him. Therefore when he wrote his song to the showcase, he wrote about his feelings when Joonhee no around him.

And for the appearance of the song he chosen by wearing dark colors and contrasting gold accessories just to show that he was colorless when Joonhee not be around. But he still hoped that Joonhee will return to bring light and provide color on him.

“Even when you’re not here, I’m frustated
Even when I have no time, I keep on waiting
When you’re not here
Even if I’m all grown up, I’m naive

When I walk you home and stroll alone in the night
I smile again at your message saying ‘Go home well’
Because I miss you so much
Every time I call you on the phone
The caller tone feels really long
When you’re not at the place that I lay back on because I’m tired
When I can’t see you on a very sunny day
I think of you so much

When you’re not here
When you’re not here, I miss you
I want to ask you if you feel like that too
These days, these kind of words are the saddest to me
I want to see you, but

When you’re not here (When you’re not here)
When you’re not here (When you’re not here)
When you’re not here (Without you)

When you’re not here, I watch the TV by myself
When you’re not here
Even if I try to take a stroll, it feels somewhat lonely
It’s only when I walk with you that I feel relieved
The ice breaks, you really feel so nice
But oh my, because I might drift away from you for a moment
I pay attention to each of my text messages
I feel like I’m becoming a fool, when you’re not here

Baby tell me
Baby whisper to me
Baby if you also feel the same as me
Grab my hand
When I’m not there just like when you’re not there for me
Baby raise my voice
Please let me be your love

When you’re not here (When you’re not here)
When you’re not here (When you’re not here)
When you’re not here (Without you)

I wanna feel you
We’re getting stronger
I wanna listen to you
‘Cause I love you so much

Now if I look behind me, I feel like you’ll be there
I feel like your hand is in my pocket
The pillow I hug to sleep seems to be just like you
Everywhere I look, it feels like I see only you

I feel like you’re going to come and hug me
When I just listen to your voice, I feel like I’m with you
When I’m tired I feel like I’m hearing you calling my name

When you’re not here
When you’re not here
When you’re not here
When you’re not here”
(Without You - Infinite H - with a few adjustments)

*

Joonhee’s steps carry him towards the back of the stage. He wanted to see Dongwoo. Maybe he can explain why he recently turned away from him.

If the song is true that it’s directed to him then he should at least respond to the songs that already written by Dongwoo with very nice. Joonhee felt himself doing a little smile. He knows he may have to face the next day where Yunjae would mad at him because he did not appear in the man's house and Shiwon. But now he just wants to see Dongwoo.

Joonhee turned and saw Dongwoo are a few steps in front of him, he could recognize his back. But his steps are stopped immediately, Dongwoo was not alone. There are several women around him, maybe the fans who just realized Dongwoo’s charisma.

Joonhee silent for a moment and then turned to turn back when he saw Dongwoo would turn around to faced him. Joonhee leaned back against the wall behind him.

What is he thinking. Dongwoo probably wrote the song just simply for his first debut. Maybe Dongwoo wrote the song for someone else. He could not say the words that he want spoken to Dogwoo now. Dongwoo has a future that may exist where he does not belong in it. Dongwoo would stay away from him as people realize the talent and charisma of the man.

"I think I still have to stay in my own safety zone .."

*

Dongwoo’s sure he saw Joonhee’s figure that take turn in the opposite direction from him but he could not be sure because the women who seem to be a new fans of his surrounded him.

He is also waiting for Joonhee may send a message about his performance that day but the phone did not show the existence of a message from Joonhee.

Dongwoo laughed softly, but then when someone heard his laughter, people can feel the grief in his laughter. Laughter that is not make others to laugh too but instead feel the sadness.

"Maybe I've been rejected.."

*

Joonhee slowly sipping his coffee from a paper cup in his hand and looked down from behind the walls of the hospital roof that as high as his chest.

"Is this become your favorite place now?"

Joonhee turned his head quickly that responded to the voice. He saw Dongwoo and saw that Dongwoo is no longer wearing colorful clothes as usual. Only white T-shirt, jeans and a dark brown long coat.

"Why you did not see me then?"

"You can have a better option at the time, Dongwoo. You were with your fans and I just know where I'm supposed to be .. "

"What this also happened before? Are you constantly back and forth like this? "

Joonhee looked at him sharply, "I just know where I can be safe. You obviously were not around there, Dongwoo. If we crash into each other, I'll just take the area are dangerous for you. For your future. So you should also think about your safe area and stopped to see me .. "

Joonhee paused and decided to go. This time it is not him who saw the departure of Dongwoo. He who will go first from Dongwoo.

"Stop right there .."

He could hear Dongwoo’s voice again. He stopped but only for a moment, he started going off again.

"I said stop there. If you take one more step then I will not be able to protect you .. "

"You do not have to do it .."

Before Joonhee will move he felt himself drawn by someone and turned him.

"I told you to stop here. What do you mean when your safe area instead to make you happy it’s makes you all sad. I do not know if you've experienced this before or not but it is supposed to be a safe area where you feel most happy. And I tell you, if you decide to move again, I can not protect you anymore. Let me protect you. Let me in to your safe area to ensure that the area is completely safe. Where in that area you can smile without any force .. "

Joonhee did not know what to say. But Dongwoo knew that whatever he wanted to say to him. Joonhee gripping the front of Dongwoo’s coat and lowered his head. And Dongwoo put his arm around Joonhee’s shoulder, hugging him. Bring him to a safety zone where they both are in it.

*

15 years since he graduated high school with still leaves a feeling to Yunjae. 10 years have passed since he found someone else and forget about his feelings to Yunjae forever.

And now, sitting with his classmates during high school and share stories about what has happened in the last 15 years, Joonhee know that sooner or later the attention of his friends will be diverted on him. No one knows how he is over the last 15 years except Yunjae and Shiwon.

Yunjae still not agreed where Dongwoo around Joonhee but Joonhee know that men must give up one day. Dongwoo is a safe area where Yunjae and Shiwon can not even touch him there.

"Aaaaannd.. How are you, Joonhee? "Yoojung just ask him and he responded with a small smile.

He really hoped that Dongwoo could keep his promise to get him before he could become the center of the attention.

"Ah, what's the meaning of that smile? Yunjae? Shiwon? "Yoojung still did not give up and are now asking about Joonhee to Yunjae and Shiwon.

Joonhee secretly checking his cell phone screen to see if Dongwoo had sent a message that he had reached the front of the restaurant where the reunion was held but his cell phone screen remains blank. Joonhee slowly biting the inside of his mouth. Maybe Dongwoo could not keep his promise to arrive on time. But he did not blame him, Dongwoo was not possible arrive at time when the plane from Japan may be slightly delayed.

Secretly he felt guilty that earlier he had hoped Dongwoo will come on time. The man must have been too tired after a concert that held on for three days at Japan.

The bells that clinking that means restaurants’ door were opened was heard but he ignored it and still staring to his mobile screen. But then he felt someone hug him and make him lift his head.

Dongwoo, still dressed in his stage costume, crashed into him and hugged him tightly.

"Joonhee ~!"

Joonhee felt all eyes are now focused on him. But he had not yet opened his mouth to speak, Dongwoo releasing his body, holding his hand, and then turned to face all the stares that directed at both of them.

"Forgive me. But I have come to bring Kang Joonhee back home. Thank you for your time ~ "Dongwoo said then bowed once. And then he pulled Joonhee go from there.

Joonhee just smile and follow Dongwoo. And outside the restaurant, Dongwoo immediately letting their feet walking slower than before when he pulled Joonhee out.

"You got a little too late .." Joonhee muttered.

"Really? I'm sorry .. "

Joonhee smiled, "No problem. You've been here. How’s your tour? "

"Fun. Too bad you choose to attend the school reunion rather than go with me .. "

Joonhee laughed and touched Dongwoo’s cheek, "There are other times and later .."

"You'll have to come and I do not want a reason from you to get away .."

"Well .. Deal .. "

Dongwoo laughed while Joonhee felt himself smiled.

"I miss you .." he muttered.

Dongwoo stared at him for a moment and then hugged him again, "Yeay! Jang Joonhee miss me! "

"Y-Yah! > / / / <"

"Kekekeke :D"

"Let's go home .. to our safety zone .. "Dongwoo said as he held out his hand to Joonhee. And the man did not refuse the hand.

*

Kang Joonhee was like a white light or white paper. He chose to step back and just sit in the safe zone where only himself was in it. Jang Dongwoo is the one who gives all the colors in his safe zone. He tried removing Dongwoo from his safe zone and return all the white color. But his eyes were already familiar with the colors and because the absence of Dongwoo, his all white surrounds became so ugly. Because when the center of the colors disappear, the colors that have been around the white color just turns into a faded or changed for the worse.

Jang Dongwoo is like the bright colors. But ever since he entered a zone where Kang Joonhee is he understands that Joonhee’s existence make all the colors in him was more shining. When Joonhee tried removing him out from the safe zone, Dongwoo lost all its color. The absence of light that makes him stand out and when it’s disappear the colors disappear into the dark there.

And when they are both aware of the existence of each other, Jang Dongwoo and Kang Joonhee ultimately complete each other. In a safety zone that is now occupied by them.

Stop right there
If you take one more step, I can’t protect you
Please stop right there
It’s dangerous, I can’t let you go alone like this
Once again, green light, red light
I’m right here
--- Safety Zone – DMTN

FIN