I was waiting at the train station, it was too cold and a small storm had been forecast, but it didn't matter because today was the day that we were going out. After much persistence, I had convinced him to go out with me, although he was already late. I wasn't wearing anything fancy, just a simple skirt, a blouse and a coat… in spite of the fact that my hands were freezing and my lips were turning a different color, I was still standing and with a smile. I took out my vanity mirror to see my face I didn't want to look tired however I was starting to feel anxious, perhaps he wouldn't come after all. Filled with hopelessness I didn't want to wait any longer, so I left the station to go home, the bitterness of defeat was present in my eyes and sadness in my heart.

 

I felt a hand on my shoulder, I was pulled back and I could only do one thing and that was to hit the guy that was holding my body, since the shadow of his size was covering my entire body almost immediately and of course, with such a tall man, a small woman like myself was an easy for anyone.

 

-Let me go!…-I demanded in English since my Korean wasn't that good.

 

-I only… - the voice was familiar, and when I looked into his eyes I nearly died of embarrassment, it was him-

 

-I'm sorry... but I was already leaving… - I was a woman with a bit of pride after all, I could wait for him but I couldn't endure so much, was I in love with that man or just his image?... apparently he made me think with only one neuron.

 

-I fell asleep... but I'm here…-his excuse wasn't good but my heart went crazy when my eyes meet his and I got a smile from him. He looked so cool as usual. With his casual attire: black clothes, a hat and sunglasses that would do little into hiding who he was, why did I have to put my eyes on him? with so many other men out there... only him.

 

-If you didn't want to come you should have told me so… - I said in reply. I was a bit arrogant but I had been waiting for nearly half an hour, my fingers, my lips and my legs were numb - let's leave it for another day, I'm kind of cold and you're tired... also I'm not in the mood anymore- I said with a sigh looking away. If I kept looking at him I would forgive him, damned heart, urging me to run towards the fire instead of escaping it.

 

-No... I don't want to, let's go drink something warm to make you feel better…-he pushed me with his hand towards the opposite direction, leaving the station street in a few steps and out to where it was colder, my cheeks were burning and also my pride... why didn't I refuse? anyways a spark of joy coursed through my body, I felt him walking so close behind me, his warmth and his gaze pressing against my back, I was nervous.

 

-Where are we going?…-I said after walking two blocks, we were getting closer to a secluded and quiet neighborhood, it didn't seem like a well visited place.

 

-A place I would come to when I was young...-He gave me a mischievous smile and I had to avert his gaze in order to hold my serious and angry expression showing my irritation for the time I had to wait for him.

 

-Something quiet... -I felt his laughter and it must have been because of my Korean, it was always the case…I gave him a push so that he would stop taunting me, it had taken me a while to learn it after all-

 

-Why did you push me?…-he asked holding me by the shoulder as always, this damn habit of his of touching me whenever he wanted to.

 

-Because you made fun of me... - I told him only to get more laughs on his part. I wasn't kidding, I didn't want to feel like an idiot, playing the role of a fool and waiting for him to make up his mind. Perhaps this was a sign for me to give up.

 

-I do that all the time, come let's go in- He told me guiding me with his hand on my shoulder, I looked like a puppet. The place was one of those shops that specialized on soju, I had never gone to one, liquor it seemed to me was too strong.

 

-You would come here when you were young?... - I said as I saw many guys drinking, there were hardly any women.

 

-Yes, after school... -he told me and smiled sitting at a far table, I followed him sitting in front of him, I took off my coat even though I was cold because I was more comfortable this way.

 

-…and how would you wake up the next day?- I wouldn't drink in school, I started doing it when I got into college and never excessively.

 

-With a headache--his response made me laugh and he held up his hand as he raised two fingers. After a while they brought us two translucent bottles and their respective glasses I looked at them strangely... are both of us drinking?-

 

-I am not a good drinker...-I told him rather scared, over the years my inability to drink had increased and instead of making me happier as other people, I would get serious.

 

-But I am, it will help you warm up…-he told me pouring a glass and offering it to me, I took it with confidence and I drank it one time, ah!... it felt as if my throat was burning, I coughed a little at the end, and that made him laugh even more-is it good?…-he asked me serving me another round and I refused shaking my head-

 

-It burns… its very strong... - I said still coughing and he offered me another drink, I quickly shook my head in denial but he insisted as he had already finished half of his bottle.-

 

I didn't have many options, in places like these drink was the main thing and not the food, I only had lunch and with a few glasses of alcohol over me, my head and my fingers started to feel the effect.

 

I don't know how we left, I felt tipsy when the bottle was half way empty, I just know that I was very happy which is a rare thing... then the grip of his hand reminded me of happiness, we went walking down the street hand in hand smiling and talking about things that we hardly understood as I would get confused speaking English and Korean, also I didn't really understand what he was telling me. 

 

I thought that we would be going to a movie and then to eat something but everything got distorted with the wait, instead we ended up somewhat drunk and sitting in a park supporting one another, smiling and looking at the sky, talking about what a bad drinker I was. He was certainly not as intoxicated as I was but he made me feel good as he pretended he was a little, I stared at him and I said something very stupid... that I liked him, although I said it in English so that he wouldn't understand me but still I felt that he understood it because just as I finished the sentence he approached to kiss me, it was somewhat clumsy and hard but I still loved the feeling as he pulled me towards him. It lasted two seconds and I ended it, I stood up from my seat and stretched my coat shrugging the kiss from our conversation, but he seemed more willing to continue that course and I wasn't so strong as to deny him, I decided to start walking alone to get away from him.

 

Thanks to my move we didn't continue with the romantic atmosphere and the two of us left walking side by side in silence, slightly dejected, perhaps by my behavior... but I couldn't look at him again, I would be delusional to look him in the eye and if it went further… I didn't know what I would do, although it was clear that I would not resist, what I felt was bigger than my will. We got to my apartment and I smiled waving goodbye with my hand, but as soon as he looked at me… it gave me an electric shock, I approached him and took his hand.

 

-I like you very much and I don't want to ruin it…- I would prefer us to be friends and have fun together - I told him in English first and then changed to my poor Korean so he would understand.

 

-I like you…-he answered in English, thing that surprised me and he noticed by erupting in laughter.

 

Taking my face and kissing me with more tenderness and some feelings, I stood still enjoying the moment and hoping it would never end. I let out a sigh when he finished and I left without saying anything. That would end here, and would only be a good memory, I was not going to insist on something that had no beginning or end, he and I weren't up for it... we should just be friends.

 

The next day I went to work as always and very happy, I knew I was going to bump into him again, but it didn't matter I already knew how to act in front of him. My day was busy and I didn't see him throughout the whole day but I wasn't concerned, it was better that way, I went to the office to pick up some things and then to my locker to find my scarf because it was cold, even within the study. It seemed that it was stuck with something because I would pull it and it wouldn't let me open it, but eventually it opened and to my surprise, many paper cranes fell from it…they were 30 or maybe more, I kneeled to pick them up grinning like a fool. I picked them all up and placed them in my pockets, but there was something else in the locker... a small note.

 

-I like you…-

 

That idiot! I thought, and my eyes got watery, how could I not love him?... he was just an idiot with a cold attitude, but with things like these he would melt my heart, only because I was an idiot who would get carried away with his gestures of affection. I checked my eyes and I blew my nose, this was not the place to get sentimental... also I could not give in so easy, no... I looked at the note with further attention and turned the paper.

 

-Silly…-

 

It was the second note which brought me back to reality. I closed my locker and curled my lips, I contained my laughter and my emotions because he was watching me from the entrance. With great pride and trying to ignore him I walked beside him and I stopped on my tracks as I looked at him.

 

-Idiot…-

 

I told him and placed the note in the pocket of his jacket, smiling at him. I don't know what would happen between the two of us, but whatever it may be I did not want to get away from him, and apparently he didn't want to keep me away either. I walked with my face held high, I didn't even turn to see him or he would have known how much I loved him.

 

-You want to go out on Saturday?-

 

He asked me and I stood in place amazed. My mind went blank for a few seconds and then after thinking about it, I looked at him over my shoulder.

 

-I'll be busy...-

 

I told him as I laughed and held back my laughter, I would have given anything to see his face when I told him that. I felt his laughter and knew that he was not upset, then again we were up in the air, what were we?... only two people that wanted each other but wouldn't say so.