Nichkhun's POV

“Woo’s crying hard..c’mon..”, Taec nudged me, and together, we hurriedly make our way to Wooyoungie. We were all crying, but wooyoungie, who has been taking the leave the hardest, was practically gasping for breath between tears.. Tears that he has been holding in ever since the curtain falls, and out step the person whom our hearts has been aching for ever since the day he left... jaybeomie hyung.. our leadja..

--Two weeks before MAMA 2010, JYP’s practice room—

“This year, you guys are going to perform two songs, I’ll be back and a collaboration with a surprise guest, in which, you guys are gonna sing only you.. got it?” Minjae’s voice loud and clear booming throughout the room.. The boys were practicing for their debut in Japan when he suddenly gathered them for the announcement.

“ Huh? But hyung, why ‘only you’..? Aren’t we s’pose to be promoting our new songs?” The boston okcat voiced out..puzzled by the song choice..

“ ya hyung.. and who’s the surprise guest??” (in Daegu)

Each member, one after the other, continued to voice their puzzlement, or rather, in taec’s case, opinions (complaints)..

“Yah! How should I know?! In case you guys haven’t noticed, I’m only the overworked manager! I’m only following JYP’s order..so you guys better quit yapping or I’ll beg him to make you guys do I’ll be back twice in a row..  And we’ll see if you still got the stamina to harass me! “

--MAMA 2010, 2pm’s second stage—

NIchkhun’s POV

     Shocked is too mild a word to describe the bizarrity of the situation.. None of our expectations came as close to this..What’s with all that has been happening throughout this year.. how could this even be possible? I tried to search the faces of the members, each mirroring the same confused expression that I have on mine..

     Is this a mistake? Maybe it’s his stage next, and he accidently came out on ours instead.. But there weren’t any mention of him going to be attending the awards.. We were so sure of it.. we had checked.. of course we would check.. We have been doing the same thing over and over again each time we were about to attend an event.. being hopeful.. but of course, our hopes were crushed every time.. so why is he here right now..? It just didn’t make sense.. is it even ok for us to be on stage together? At a live event.. with thousands of fans, or even anti-fans, watching? Won’t it be harmful for both parties..? After the conference, even a mere mention of his name seems taboo.. We were supposed to part ways.. Him going on his own, and us, continuing as 2pm.. Though nobody wants it to turn out this way, but the fact is, the situations has become too complicated for his return to be possible.. There’s a lot of things that has been left unsaid and is better left at that.. for both’s sake..

    I just had to turn around.. searching through the cheering crowds for some clue.. But what I saw next answered my questions.. Minjae hyung was urging our very-shocked-too brother group, 2am on stage.. whilst Namyoung hyung gave us a thumbs up.. his expression signalling the approval that all of us have been waiting for.. And I knew, no.. we all knew.. all 6 of us, that this surprise was actually a gift.. a very precious gift.. a chance, so that ONEDAY could once again be reunited on stage..

"We ride in one train, but the only difference is the path we take
Even if we're not in the same place, our hearts are one”

     The voice that we had all missed started to rap.. The very same rap that he wrote on his own for our first stage together two years back.. As if on cue, all 6 of us turns around again to face the owner of the voice.. He was grinning with tears coursing down his cheeks.. He looks the same.. still the shorty grandpa that we’d spent years with.. even with tears, he still looks as cool as ever.. our leadja.. Hearing his once again powerful voice so close to us.. and singing the verse that carries too deep a meaning to us, tears started to form..

“if one person hurts, all 11 hurts. eternal brothers fight in wars
in this fight, we're on the same side feel our ENERGY”

     A second voice joined the rap.. and I turn sideways to see that Taec was grinning ear to ear.. his face tear strained, but still, he gave his all out.. making his way towards OUR jaybeomie hyung..

“turn around BROTHERS WE GOT YOU
because we only have 12 hours in between us ONE DAY"

     In that moment, there’s only the sound of their voices  and a heart wrenching sob coming from Wooyoungie, who could only cover his face as he couldn’t hold in his tears.. It was painful to see how hard Woo’s struggling to keep his emotions that I had to make my way to him and pull the strong but fragile crybaby of the group towards the one person we have been missing so much..   In the brief of a second, we were all huddled together, Enveloping him for the longest group hug.. A group hug that finally consists of seven again.. 7 hearts beating as one once again..

     As of that moment, we couldn’t do anything else except to cry.. Releasing the whole pent up frustrations, and longings and joy that we have felt for the whole of the year.. And as the crowds shushed down, I could hear nothing but the sound of our cries.. echoing throughout the stadium.. It’s not until we felt a pat on the back did we release jaybeomie hyung to make way for the other four brothers to embrace him..

    We were so caught up in that moment that it seemed like an eternity before we could finally composed ourselves and realize that we’re still on stage and that we still had to perform.. with the exception of Wooyoungie who was still hugging Jaybeomie hyung.. His cries getting harder that holding on to Jaybeomie hyung was all he could do to try to muffled the sound of his sobs.. Seeing that, Taec and I make our way towards him..

Wooyoung’s POV

“It’s okay Wooyoungie ah, don’t cry anymore.. We’re all here now right? “

     Jay kept on whispering but I couldn’t bring myself to stop.. Even when I could feel all the other members hugging and patting me on the back.. And Khun hyung squeezing my hand, repeatedly whispering that it’s okay.. That I shouldn’t cry anymore..

“C’mon Wooyoungie.. You’re gonna be embarrassed if you don’t stop now..” Jokwonie chuckles behind me..He’s right.

“Be strong Udongie.. don’t cry anymore..” Chansungie whispered..

     Realizing the situations that we’re in, I just had to hold on longer to calm myself before I face the crowd.. I have to! I was crying a river, my sobs echoing throughout the stadium..in front of a crowd of thousands.. a man has got to be embarrassed at some point..

“ Wooyoungie ah.. don’t turn gay on me so suddenly!! “ the suffocating leadja complaints.. Hearing that, I managed a tiny smile between sobs. Really! He hasn’t change a bit!

     Eventually, I could feel Taec hyung and Khun hyung slowly pulling me, and I let them.. Khun hyung wraps his arms around me in turn so that I could muffled the sound of my sobs in his shoulder.. In the back of my head, I could hear the crowds chanting our name.. One by one..

“ Park Jaebeom, Ok Taecyeon, Kim Junsu, Lee Junho, Hwang Chansung, Nich-khun, Jang Wooyoung, Jo Kwon, Ong Seulong, Jun Jinwoon, Changmin, ONEDAY, WE LOVE YOU”

     Hearing the chants, and the laughing voices of my brothers, I could finally muster enough strength to lift my head again. Heck! Who cares if my eyes are puffy! Or the fact that I’m a 22 year old MAN who cries like  a girl! (actually I care…even so..) my long lost brother is back! And we’re together again..  The crowds are cheering more violently then that I just had to smile..

“Finally he’s done! “ Taec said into the mic followed by a chorus of laughter by the others..

Way to go Taec..   I gritted my teeth as I blush.. It’s a good thing that my witty thought is on halt.

“ I miss you too Woo..” Jaybeomie hyung winked at me.. Again, followed by laughter.. Great. It’s a good thing that I haven’t seen you in a long time you ungrateful shortie..

     As the laughter subsided, I turn to look sideways and saw a sight that I never thought I’d see again.. We were standing shoulder to shoulder.. And as they were conversing and laughing into the mic with the crowds, like we used to do all the time, I marveled at the sight.. Realizing how precious this moment is.. All my brothers are together now.. jaybeomie hyung is here with us.. on stage.. Still the same Jaybeomie hyung who left a year ago.. Still the same Jaybeomie hyung who have suffered numerous hardships together with us.. The one who has always been in our mind ever since he left.. The one who sits then farts on our hands..Our leadja.. Seeing him laughing and joking with the others, I couldn’t help but smile..

“All my brothers are together now..” I couldn’t help but to replay the thought over and over in my head.. Delighted over the way it sounds.. Seeing that all of us (mainly me) are ready to perform now, Jaybeom hyung took his mic and started to sing..

“ Only you~ niga anim nal gochil su eobseo nan dasi useul suga eobseo”

      Hearing his voice singing the song, i could feel tears starting to form again.. Now I know why JYP hyung had chosen this song.. It was while learning this song during our trainee days that we suffered a lot.. But we endured the hardships because we were together.. We could make it because we support each other.. And the lyrics are exactly what our hearts has been singing for the whole of this year..  Longing for the return of our leadja..

“ Keep it in Woo, your turn’s next..” Khun hyung whispered to me.. slightly squeezing my hand to give me strength.. and that’s exactly what I did.. keeping the tears in so that I could give my best.. So that this last stage, the last chance for the 6 of us to be together with Jaebeomie hyung on stage, will forever be etched into our heads..

    Eventually, I know that we still have to part ways.. Jay hyung has made his own platform and is content with the way his career is going now.. and so are we.. Eventhough we still ache for him.. But things will be ok from now on for as long as we still support each other.. Because you see, even if we go on different paths…

In this war, we’re on the same side..

 

To Leadja Jaebeom