Truth
Your Favorite Hello
“Can I tell you something?
I just wanted to let you know that I lied to you.
I lied about a lot of things.
I said I hated your smile.
But I don’t.
I love it. I look forward to it every day.
I yelled at you and said you weren’t funny.
Well, that’s not true either.
I often think back to you and laugh to myself.
I don’t hate you.
That’s the farthest from the truth.
I hate me.
Do you know why?
Because I love you.
I’m selfish.
Bratty.
Insecure.
A nervous wreck.
A butthead from head to toe.
So I’m going to be selfish.
I’m going to tell the truth.
You see, I have a problem.
I want to hold your hand, even if I’ll get it sweaty and gross because I’m always nervous.
I want to kiss your lips, even if I have bad breath because I’m forgetful and forgot to brush my teeth this morning.
I want to experience your hugs, even if I make you late for things because I’m needy.
I want to be your favorite hello.
I want your heart to race faster when you see me like mine does when I see you.
I just want you.
I’m telling the truth.
I’m telling it because I’m sick of the lies.
I am and that makes me selfish.
I’m sorry for the lies.
Yet, I’m also sorry for the truth.
Saranghae.”
This beautiful person.
Just smiling that gorgeous smile of his.
Smiling because he knew.
He already knew.
I didn’t have to tell him, I know that.
He just took my gross, crying, selfish self into his arms and held me there.
He let me unlock my heart –not because he needed to hear it.
Because I needed to hear it.
I needed it.
I needed him.
I finally know now.
“Saranghae, Jonghyun.”
“I know, Key. I know…
…I love you too.”
Break down those walls around your heart, unlock the gate and let me in; let love in.
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