► Chapter Tweleve

The Reason

Spring, to Joonmyun, passes in a blur of colours and events. He spends the weeks helping Baekhyun mend his aching heart and glue back the pieces Chanyeol had shattered. Baekhyun is not the type to cry himself helplessly until his tears are all finished and his voice go hoarse, nor the type that shuts himself in the bedroom and refuses to talk like most people do.

And that is exactly why Joonmyun worries so much for his dear friend. Baekhyun is the type that acts as if nothing happens when the next day comes; the type that keeps his smile in check and beaming even though his heart is falling apart bit by bit at the very moment. He is the type that keeps everything to himself, keeps his whole heart shut and refuses Joonmyun to catch even a tiny glimpse of a weak and torn side of him; the type that would laugh and shake his head and say ‘yeah, everything is fine. I’m fine now,’ when in reality, Joonmyun hears barely audible sobs coming from the body across the bed when Baekhyun is naïve enough to think that Joonmyun is deep in his sleep.

Joonmyun wonders just for how much longer he can keep his mask on.

One time, Baekhyun snaps at him, shouting at him that I’m okay! For god’s sake hyung! and the incident with Chanyeol is his past now and that it’s something he should already forget, but Joonmyun hates seeing dull, blank eyes in Baekhyun’s brown orbs instead of the bright glimmer that once used to be there.

He is so preoccupied in helping his broken friend heal that before he knew it, spring is over and the apple-scented breeze has given way for the warm and humid air of summer.

Chen comes visiting at a blazing hot Saturday afternoon and brings with him two huge tubs of chocolate and vanilla gelato that he buys in the minimarket on the way to Joonmyun’s apartment. Joonmyun opens the door a little surprised but grins widely when he sees the treats inside the plastic bag, ushering for Chen to hurry come inside because jesus, the sun literally feels like a meter away from them.

Once inside, Chen settles the plastic bags down on the table in front of the sofa and opens the first tub of the chocolate flavored ice cream, Joonmyun joining beside him and beginning to flip through channels before settling on a discovery Channel. The electric fan in the corner of the room is set on its highest and the buzz of the engines whirs loudly.

“Where’s Baekhyun?” Chen asks when he realized his presence missing. Joonmyun reaches towards the gelato tub sitting in Chen’s lap and scoops a spoonful, humming pleasantly when the feeling of the delicious cold chocolate cream melts on his tongue.

“Out with Kris and Tao. Won’t be back till this evening.”

Chen hums in response digging his spoon deeper into the tub. “Is it just me or does it seem like Baekhyun is a little sad lately? Like, even though he’s very loud at times, he’s always too quite when no one is looking. ”

Joonmyun smiles gently and pecks the younger’s cheek, “No, it’s just you. Baekhyun is fine,” He rests his forehead on Chen’s shoulders. Chen nods and doesn’t catch the slight exasperated tone in his voice. Joonmyun is thankful to that. Chen doesn’t need to know the Baekhyun and Chanyeol incident.

At 6.30, Baekhyun texts Joonmyun that he’s going to spend the night over at Kris’s house along with Tao. Joonmyun tenses and replies with a no. It’s late, you’ve got college tomorrow. Joonmyun hopes the sentence sounds stern enough to get Baekhyun back home. His phone rings almost instantly to a new text message. Joonmyun can almost imagine Baekhyun seething in anger over the words of the message.

What the hyung? I’m not a kid or your younger brother! I can take care of myself. Stop being such a worried and let me forget everything just for this night.

Joonmyun stills. He doesn’t know how to answer to that. At one point, Baekhyun is right about Joonmyun being such a worried , but he couldn’t help it, the constant frown on Baekhyun’s face just doesn’t seem right and Joonmyun’s determined to get that smile back. At another point, Joonmyun doesn’t see anything wrong with wanting to take care of his friend, Baekhyun should have known that.

Joonmyun’s phone rings once again and this time it’s not to one of Baekhyun’s message, but to a call from Kris. .

Chen looks at him curiously over his Chinese takeaway meal. Joonmyun sets his own food down the table and makes his way to the kitchen, mouthing be back in a sec to Chen who nods flippantly and digs into his food.

“Hello?”

“Joonmyun…” Kris answers, his voice serious at the end of the line. Joonmyun leans against the counter and absently draws imagery circles on the wooden surface. “Kris, what’s up?”

“Look, I know what happened between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, okay?”

Joonmyun’s finger tips stops drawing and his hands ball to fists.

“You know?”

“I know,” Kris hums in affirmation. “And I want to get his mind off of Chanyeol for the night.”

“Kris, if you’re going to make Baekhyun  all spent and looking like when he comes back tomorrow morning, I swear-“

“Calm down, Joonmyun,” Kris laughs. “I’ll make sure he won’t drink too much, besides, Tao is here and he has a low tolerance for alcohol so I’m not buying a lot of drinks,”

“But-“

“You worry too much, Joonmyun. Baekhyun is going to be fine here. You need to loosen up a bit, you know, go and relax with your boyfriend or something,”

Joonmyun bit his bottom lip but then sighs tiredly. “Just- don’t let him do anything stupid, Kris,” he says finally. He hears Kris’s deep chuckle over the line and Joonmyun grumbles until they both hang up.

When Joonmyun drags his feet back towards the living room, Chen has finished his dinner and closes his takeaway box.

“Sooo, who was that?” The younger asks casually and stuffs the box into the bin in the kitchen before popping back in the living room.

“Just Kris. He says Baekhyun’s going to spend the night at his house with Tao.”

Chen stares at him for a while and his head to the side as if he’s thinking. Joonmyun waits for him to speak until Chen blurters out: “Then is it okay if I sleep here since Baekhyun’s at Kris’s?”

Joonmyun startles and his face goes bright pink. Chen rolls his eyes and makes his way to Joonmyun’s bedroom.

“Oh, come on, hyung. It’s not like we’re going to do anything besides sleeping anyway.” Chen throws a smirk over his shoulders and Joonmyun flusters even more. He frowns at Chen intruding his bedroom and Joonmyun mumbles out indignantly ‘rude. You’re rude’ but follows him in the end.

They didn’t fall asleep straight away, instead, they talk and talk about nothing important really, but Joonmyun somehow finds this comforting. The moonlight filters through the gaps in the blinds, and even though the night is growing old, Joonmyun doesn’t want sleep just yet. He inhales Chen’s scent, taking in the sheen of his hair, and quietly traces the contour of his nose with his eyes.

They talk for a while more until they somehow enter the topic of that one time when Chen brings Joonmyun over to his house and Chen’s mother gushes over Joonmyun’s handsome face and his father invites Joonmyun to go fishing with him sometimes (Joonmyun refuses with a polite no. Fishing is nice, but just not his cup of tea). Chen laughs at that and the sound is pleasant to Joonmyun’s ears. When the air stills again, Chen breaks it with a surprising remark.

“They’re not my real parents, you know. I was adopted by them,”

Joonmyun’s eyebrows raised and he looks down at Chen. “I was born without knowing who my parents are. I used to come from an orphanage in Daegu. That was until they adopted me when I was nine. And then we moved to Seoul where I grew up until now.”

Joonmyun shifts closer to him and buries his nose in brown tufts of hair, slinging an arm around his waist. A same fate huh? Joonmyun thinks bitterly. “Chen…” he sighs. Chen bit his lower lip, as if he’s contemplating whether he should say it or not.

“It’s not Chen, you know. My real name is Jongdae.”

Joonmyun stiffens his movements.

…What..? Did he hear something wrong?

Chen smiles uncertainly, eyes shifting to Joonmyun in a nervous manner. “I’ve been spending my whole childhood mourning over being sentenced to a horrible fate of growing up without knowing who my real parents are, whether they had abandoned me because I was never supposed to happen. But when my foster parents took me to Seoul, I realized that it’s time to head off to a new direction, and changing my name would make a fresh start,”

“So it’s Jongdae then…?” Joonmyun whispers, more likely to himself, mind still reeling over the information thrown at him.

Chen laughs and shakes his head “It was Jongdae. Now it’s just Chen.”

When Joonmyun is dead silent, Chen looks at him worriedly. “Hey, you’re not…mad, are you?”

“No, no I’m not…” Joonmyun says distractedly. It couldn’t be his brother Jongdae, could it? There are a lot of people with the name Jongdae, right? The story Chen tells him fits everything. So fitting that it scares Joonmyun until his breaths comes out in short pants. “Hyung, are you okay?”

His mind is spinning and there’s that constant nagging feeling of anxiety pounding in the back of his head. Somehow, he feels horribly disgusted and his stomach twists uneasily. Joonmyun hates feeling this way.

“Sorry, I’m just really sleepy, I think I’ll go get some rest,” his voice wavers and he hopes the smile he sends Chen doesn’t turn out to look more like a grimace. He turns to face the wall, hoping to get his mind all clear the next morning so he wouldn't have to face Chen with the unpleasant gut feeling that tells him everything is wrong – they’re wrong.

The night is old and Chen is left lying awake to wonder what he’s said to make Joonmyun agitated. He tries to search the answers in the cracks of the walls and the shadows on the floors, but comes to nothing.

A/N:  I start summer holiday today \o/ also, I've changed my un to _PinkTape (previously chentrollerman)