Chapter 1
Different Stars"I love you."
Your words echo in my mind. They're meaningless to me now. They've been overused-said far too many times. Our eyes meet. Your eyes are filled with a look of pain and sorrow. My gaze drops to the locket hanging around your neck. It's impossible. You can't love us both. There's only enough room in your heart for one girl.
"Do you?" I ask coldly. It's difficult for me to maintain a straight face, when in truth, all I want to do right now is break down and cry. "Do you really? I thought it was her you loved. Since when did it suddenly become me? Now that she's sick, you think that I'll be so willing to jump back into your arms again and be her replacement? If I've always meant this much to you, my place in your heart-if I ever even had one-would've remained open all along instead of being taken over by another."
You slide your hands casually into your pockets as a group of giggling young girls walk past, winking at you. There it goes again-that 'cool' act of yours. Honestly, who do you think you're fooling? I hope that none of these girls catch your eye. I think such a thought not out of envy, yet because I sympathize with anyone who naively believes that you'll change who you are for her. After all, I had been foolish enough to believe such a thing, and here we stand now.
"What do you want me to do?" you ask, frustrated. It's just as I had expected. The moment that the crowd of people pass, you let down your guard, and your true emotions are no longer concealed.
"What do I-" My throat feeling suddenly dry, I swallow, and resume my speaking, only this time, my voice is shaking with anger. "What do I want you to do? I want you to just make your damned decision already! Stop fooling around and giving us false hope. The longer it takes you to make a choice, the more hurt all of us will be!"
"I can't...."
"Can't what?" I ask, my voice faltering. Strange, how alone we suddenly are. Gone are the usual crowds of people that sit amongst the bleachers, chatting amongst themselves about whatever it is they speak of. The only sound, aside from our heavy breathing, is the sound of the cool wind rippling through the already freezing air. "What is it that you can't do?"
"I just can't bring myself to choose. Either choice I make, I'm letting a part of my heart slip away. I can't afford to lose you."
I turn to leave. This is too much, and I just can't take it anymore. Since you can't seem to make your decision, I might as well make it for you. No matter how much I may regret this, I know that it's best for us both-for her and I. I can't bring myself to hate her. She was just like me. She was another innocent girl, who had like me, been unfortunate enough to cross paths with you.
Your hand reaches out to grab mine. For a moment, I allow it to linger there. For a moment. Then the warmth from your hand suddenly seems like too much, feeling more like a searing heat scorching my skin. The wind blows at me, causing me to feel numb. Even then, I can still feel your hand resting upon mine.
For a moment, all the pain that you had once caused me suddenly seems like nothing at all, compared to the weight I carry now upon my shoulders. How could I have ever believed anything that you had once told me? I feel so stupid looking back on it now. You, love me? How silly I must have had been to have fallen for those three dumb words. Words, with no truth or meaning behind them. Just words. Simple, meaningless words.
You can utter those words as many times as you want, but in the end, nothing will change. They'll still be a lie, and you'll still have to choose between us both. One of us is bound to get hurt either way. It might as well be me, and I might as well get it over with now. This isn't so much a sacrifice on my part as it is a merciful escape.
I shake your hand off of mine, and a sudden energy I had never put to use before is sparked within me.
"We can still be friends, right?" you ask hopefully, and in that single moment of time, I feel as if the weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
"No, we can't," I respond, for I know that things will never be the same again between us. I know that I'll never be able to look at you again without feeling as if my heart has just recently been shattered to a million pieces. I know that I'll never be able to look at her, even with the pity I feel for her, without feeling betrayed. I walk away from him calmly, resisting the urge to break into a run. Then I stop.
"By the way, Happy Valentine's Day, Minho," I tell you, without looking back. I can feel your eyes staring at my back as if they're burning holes into my flesh.
"Happy Valentine's Day," you answer as the same group of giggling girls from earlier pass by again. Your words aren't loud enough for them to hear but not quiet enough to escape my hearing.
A single tear falls from my face, because now I realize that it's truly over.
All that's left for me now is to move forward.
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