[ School Soccerfield ]

“Ahahaha.. wow! whoo.. Go Kyung! GO suho!..”

Its been two days after I got out from the hospital. I was happy because Kyung never left me. Sooy was out again. She said she has some business to do. That girl seems to be busy nowadays.. I told her she should have left school. BUt Sooy said she can do it. Sometimes, I get jealous of Sooy. She seems to be so strong, so courageous. I envy her spirit sometimes. But me, Im always the one who’s weak.. who knows nothing else but to cry.. cry and cry..  I sighed. Its been two weeks since I had remembered everything,.

But it seemed everything happened just yesterday. I just smiled at that thought. I have Kyungsoo.. I have Sooy, and Auntie’s been good too. I smelled the air. Then I remembered about our call. I sighed again. Maybe its time I get to move on. They have moved on. I think its time I do the same too. I need a life. And this time Im sure I have the right amount of strength, to surpass what’s next. I looked at Kyungsoo and Suho coming my way. Haha.. those two..

“Hey! what’s the face?” Kyung wiped his sweat. I smiled. “haha.. nothing.. I just thought of something.” I looked at my right and caught Suho staring at me.. I passed him the water bottle. He drank from it. “How about you, Suho? I heard your cousin just came here two days ago?..”

HE gulped. “How did you know?..” He looked shock. “uh, Kyungsoo told me about her.” I looked at Kyung but he was gone. I saw him towards the restroom. haha oh well..

“What?! He told you?” He shouted. I ljust laughed at his face.. “Hahaha.. yes. I didnt know you were old buddies?,.” I started to get my bag. Suho looked at the field. “hh.. Yup, we were..” He sighed. hmm.. “Okay.. Im going now, Please tell Kyung, pick me up at 5. I still have a project to do,. Can you tell him please?..” I told Suho.. After how many days, I feel so safe beside Kyung..I dont know.. BUt we both know we loved each other.. I think Im gonna say YEs, to him. BUt I think Its not yet the time. Suho’s face became blank,.

“Oh come on, Suho.. You know I like you.. But I already told you, I like you because you’re so friendly..” I touched Suho’s hand. He tried to grab it away but I pulled it. “Please listen.. You are such a good friend to me.. But I love Kyung. When he was there, I dont know.. Its just, I feel so special.. Someday, you’ll find yours. Even better than me..” He grabbed his hands but I couldnt reach it no more.. I searched for Kyung as I look at the field. He was looking at us. I just smiled. I looked at Suho again. He was staring at me now.

“But, can we become bestfriends?..”

“Haha Of course!..”I hugged him.. I saw him smiled.. “You tell him okay?..” I patted his shoulders. He nodded. I waved at Kyung, he waved back. I smiled again.. He never fail to make me smile.. Haha yeah.. I do love him. Suho ran towards the group and waved at me. I waved back and went to my classroom.

“It’s already 5:30, and still I dont see him..” I begin to worry. Where is he?.. Gosh, I was never like this before.. I dialled his number. NO signal. Shoot! Not again.. Kyung.. Kyung,. where are you..?.. I glanced at my right, to the left. THe lobby was quiet. I can no longer see my classmates. I looked again to the right,  and I noticed a black shadow running towards me. I start to feel so worried. I tried to dial Kyung’s number again. No signal. !.. I faced my right to see who was it but it was gone. I glanced at my left. I felt someone on my back. My heart started to beat faster.

“Taeyeon!..”

“HUh,!!” I turned to my right,. “Gosh.. Suho!, You scared me lot!..” He laughed. “Ahahaha.. I was just joking.. And I have something to say to you..”He put his arms into my shoulders. I smiled. “WHat is it?..”I looked at him.  “uh.. Kyung told me he cant go. He has some things to do at home..”

“W’ha-“

“But dont worry!, Im here to pick you up.. hehe..” I just looked at my phone. I felt my lips curved down.. Kyung.. why.. you did it again.. “Its okay! Im here now.. and I’ll make sure you’d be safe..” And he showed his biggest smile. “ahww.. Thank you Suho. I really appreciate it.” I smiled and hugged Suho. “

“So let’s go?” “hmp! Lets go!”

I never thought Suho would be so funny. The first time I saw him, I thought he was a serious type of guy. But I was wrong. He’s a bit talkative too.! MOst of our convo were laughters. He feels so exciting to be with, and he seems to be so interesting. That’s why I feel sorry for him whenever I thought of Kyungsoo.. Its just that. Who else would never like Suho? I mean his cute, his handsome. His hot. Of course, I always caught girls looking at him. I cant fight myself to laugh. He’s fun to be with. He’s not boring.. But I dont know. I never felt the same way with Kyung.. Its just so different.

Everytime I think of Him, I just.. tend to smile..

“Yeahp, where here Tae..” We stopped at our house. The lights were out, I think Auntie’s asleep. I checked my phone. No call. 1 message. It was Sooy, just checking if I was alright. I replied. /Yeap Sooy. Thanks/.

I checked what time is it. 8:02pm..

“Oh! Its already 8pm!..”

“Uhm yeahp.. I thought so.” he got my bag and passed it to me. haha of course, we had so much fun. I almost forgot. He invited me to a dinner at a restaurant.  Oh yeah.. I remember now.. and we still went to the paRK to eat ice cream.. I just laughed. “Oh yeah.. We had so much fun tonight.” I faced him and put a smile on my face. BUt I was stiffened when suddenly his face were inches next to mine..

“What are you do-..”

“Shshh....” and he covered my lips with one finger..  Wait..? What’s this?.. No.. I just felt so different. NO.. you cant..

“I love you Tae..” and he was about to kiss me when

“No!..”

I felt a sudden rush of energy to push him hard and Suho harshly fell down.

“Ouch!” he shouted.

“huh!?.. Oh mygosh Im sorry..” I quickly helped Suho up. “GOsh.. im so sorry..”

“Nope. You dont have top say sorry..” There’s a seriousness in his voice. He looked up, and covered his face.. “! What have I done?!.. This isnt right.”

“What.. what’s wrong with you Suho..?..”

“I dont know.. I just felt so.. guilty.. Im so sorry Tae.. I know I shouldnt have done that.”  His eyes showed a sudden change of aura. The real cute eyes.. Oh Suho.. Im so sorry.. “It’s okay.. “ I pulled his hands, but he pulled it back. I saw him gasp.

“This is !..” and he ran towardas the car. “Please dont..” But he went inside.

“I just stood there, outside. “You know what, the first time I saw you.. I knew you were such a good friend. But I dont know, I just feel the same way I feel with Sooy, and with all of my friends. I just felt something different about Kyung..” I looked at Suho.

“I know.. Im so sorry Tae.. Im so sorry,”and his car vanished.

Im sorry too, Suho. But.. I .. I-I think I love Kyung more..

I cant believe it!.. How could they.. ! Everytime I think of it, my head just wants to burts! I dont know if my head, or my heart.. but.. I cant help it, it was just so unexpectable.. and Tae.. how could she..

“Tss..”as I drank from glass of vodka. I dont know, but I feel so irritable, I felt being.. fooled. ! I gasp. “hhhffft..this is so ..” I drink again.. the bar was so full of people. The DJ has rollin the music nice and all the people were driven by the atmosphere. The lights kept on strolliong on the dancing bodies. The place was so full of people, mostly party-spirited people, nightgirls, and of course, lovers.. Lovers and dates.. That’s ! This life is full of ! Who cares about them?.. as I drank the next shot. And seconds later, the vodka started to drown the feeling I just felt earlier. Themm.. How could they.. 

I mean, I just saw them right there! I saw them so close together and.. a-and.. and Suho was right in front of Taeyeon like they were about to do something that I never expected! That's insane.. I mean.. Arrgghh!! .. I know I havent seen them do that but of course!, Who am I to judge, and who am I to be curious, Im nothing..

I just.. Who knows?.. Its just.. Arrghhh!!.. as I my palms jammed up my hair . 

“Arrrgh!!.. chinja!..” as I throw the glass into one of the walls. “hft..”I wiped my face, and inhaled the air inside.. I heard some people murmuring.. 

“uggghh.. What is happening to me..”... I sighed.. “This is insane..”

“You are insane..”I heard a voice from the bar. I looked up and saw a bartender wiping a bottle of champaigne.

“What is it to you?.. huh..” I combed my hair and looked at the crowd. But it seems that my view went through them. I just stared blankly.

“Haha.. is it a girl, Sir?..”The bartender’s base tone woke me up. I glanced at him.

“Can you please shut u-“but he blew my words when he laughed.. “hahahaha.. Sorry, Sorry.. Mind if you can pay the bottle you threw?..” and his eyes pointed at the broken vodka.

I looked at the pieces of glass that scattered in the floor. I looked down because of shame.. “..Miyanhae. I’ll pay it later..” The bartender smiled.. “Haha.. you better be.” I turned to watch the dancing crowd. Everyone was mindless, they’re dancing like no tomorrow. geez.. I hope I can dance with them but, NO. Im just tired.. So So tired.. I sighed.

“So! can you tell me what’s the problem?”

! that scared a lot of me. I turned to the bartender and quickly grabbed his shirt. “Are you nuts? Or maybe your screws may have loosen up?.. HUh?!”  BUt he just laughed at me. I stared at him for a long time. But he was just laughing at me.

Ugh, come on. You’re insane. No Im insane! and I brought him down slowly.

He stopped laughing and smiled at some customers coming our way.

I almost forgot, I was in a club.