A group of three left the classroom, hands on their shoulders walking in the middle of the hallway with synchronized steps and laughter. The atmosphere between the three was really nice and gentle, a typical aura where you can see in a really close and strong friendship.

Luhan was positioned at the right wing of the group while a girl named Junhee was on the left wing, in the center the boy with very big eyes was positioned, it was Kyungsoo, he was laughing nicely as he wrapped his arms around the towering friends beside him.

The three of them are best of best friends, no one can separate them from each other, that’s what Luhan thought, that’s what Luhan believed, that’s when Luhan started to fall in love to his friend, a friend that he spent almost all of his life with, that friend that comforts him whenever he’s down and vice versa, that friend that he fought life with, that big eyed man beside him, Kyungsoo.

:: Luhan’s POV ::

This is really bad, first I fell in love with my friend, second it’s a guy and I swear things would get really bumpy if this kind of feeling continues and third, … he’s straight, as straight as a ruler.

I sighed once again as an empty classroom welcomes me, I got to school a bit early than what I expected.

I lazily trudged towards my seat in the center of the classroom. Bag heavily placed on the desk, I slid myself in the seat and flopped my upper body on top of my bag. I didn’t have any peaceful sleep after that realization, how can I, Lu Han fall in love with my friend, he’s like my friend in sickness and in health, till death do us part, kind of friend!

I ruffled my hair as confusing thoughts shrouded my ability to sense everything around me and thus the reason why I freaked out when I felt a hand tapping my hair. I fell on the floor, sides first. Looking upwards I saw the source of these feelings that I have, it’s Kyungsoo with his adorable big eyes again. “Luhan hyung are you okay?” He asked, I have the urge to be sarcastic and mean but I can’t resist those puppy looking eyes.

I slowly pulled myself out from the floor and finally settled once again in the seat. I looked up to him again before waving my hands slowly. “I-I’m okay …” I answered. He slowly nod before walking behind me, towards his seat a few tables away from me.

Something’s really amiss in Kyungsoo today, I turned around and saw him fidgeting with the strap of his bag. “Hey Soo, what’s wrong?” I asked him as I slowly take steps away from my own seat to sit on his table.

I saw Kyungsoo flinched from my voice, what’s wrong with him? He looked up to me and I swear i saw something inside his eyes, that look that’s similar to mine when I realized that I like Kyungsoo, he’s in love. I shivered at the gaze he’s giving me, i-is he … about to confess to me?

I shook my head quickly as he started to talk.

“I-it’s valentines today …” he whispered which I barely heard. I stopped from thinking things after that, it’s valentines today??

I looked down and saw him fidgeting again, his leg moving beneath the table top. I hopped off of his table to look at him more. “So what? We never really celebrate it last year and the years before it right?” I said, but I know that things are different now, especially that I developed this kind of like for the guy in front of him.

Wait, before we continue, I want to clarify things. I’m not gay, I’m definitely not, but I like Kyungsoo, hmmm well that’s the only thing I want to say, I don’t like guys but I like Kyungsoo, difficult right?, Back to reality.

“I know … but it’s before! I’m different now hyung.” He stuck his beautiful lips out, those red lips that scream to be kissed. I unconsciously lowered my head, closer to his, my eyes fixated on those not so pale but not so red lips of his , those beautiful --- “Hyung are you listening to me!!?” He shrieked which fortunately brought me back to reality, Again.

I’m just a few inch away from his nose, his eyes strictly pinning me invisibly. “A .. Y-yes.” I murmured before slowly backing off, and because of my stupidity, I tripped by one of the table’s leg which caused me to fall again on the floor.

I heard Kyungsoo’s chair screeching from the distance. “Hyung! Are you okay??” he asked me as he held his hand out. I took it and used it to pull me upwards which fortunately did despite his small frame.

“I’m … yeah I’m okay, I’m just .. going out, wait for Junhee here, I have something to do.” I said before quickly exiting the suffocating room.

I was walking towards the main gate of the school, I still have 20 minutes before classes start. I’ve already decided to confess everything right now, to be rejected by my friend so that the awkwardness will finally lift off. I nodded as I walk towards a nearby bouquet shop just the corner of the street. “What kind of flower is best for Valentines?

I entered the shop with a bell ring. I was completely shocked at the sudden fragrance coming from the flowers inside it, it was completely overwhelming. I choked a few times before my body completely adapted to its surroundings.

A lady cloaked in white suddenly came in front of me, with a huge smile on her face. “Ohh young man, for whom will the flowers be?” She suddenly asked. “I … err someone special … me… ah .. I don’t know ….” I tried to avoid the topic of ‘who’s receiving it’ “Oh .. then what kind of flower or flowers you want?” She said before wearing the green gloves lying on the table.

“I don’t really know … can’t I just get the prettiest ones?” I murmured while slowly scratching the back of my neck. As I said before, I never celebrated Valentine’s day so buying flowers are totally new for me. The lady was looking at me completely lost. “Hmmm then just tell me the traits of the receiver.” She said before turning and walking towards the big pile of flowers.

“Well, he- … she’s nice … really nice, really innocent … hmm oh and did I just told you how nice he .. she is?? Beautiful yes he … she’s beautiful … !!” I started blabbing things about Kyungsoo, like how cute he is, like how innocent he is, like how gorgeous he is, I almost used all the positive adjectives just to describe him, he’s just perfect for me.

“O----kay stop!” The lady said before almost shoving a bouquet of Daisies and Yellow Tulips. “What’s this?” I murmured before inspecting the thing more. “He’s innocent, nice and beautiful right? Here this is really perfect for him.” She grinned before handing out a piece of paper for me. “That’s the price you have to pay riiiight there.” She said before pointing at the counter. I just followed it, paid the flower and left.

I looked at my watch and saw 10 more minutes before class. I turned around to see what to buy for Kyungsoo and there I saw a chocolate shop. “Kyungsoo likes chocolates!” I beamed before running towards it. The fresh smell of sweetness completely lingered around my nose, it smells heaven.

“Welcome young heart~ you want chocolates? Here we have chocolates in different sizes, flavours and shapes!” The tall man grinned before showing the chocolates around us. I looked around and saw heart shaped boxes filled with goodies on the stand. “Ohh there I like that!” I pointed at the golden coated box before taking it, I rushed towards the man and bought it.

3 more minutes, I have to hurry now. I ran towards the gate with the items on me. Luckily when I entered the room Kyungsoo was nowhere to be found and with that I had a time to hide the flowers and chocolate. I sat on my seat and pulled my wallet out, I bought tickets for a romantic movie yesterday and I will definitely use it to watch a movie with Kyungsoo!!

A minute more before the teacher enters the classroom the doors opened. I turned and saw Kyungsoo with my other best friend, Junhee. Kyungsoo was laughing along with her and so as Junhee. Albeit begrudgingly, I have to admit that they look so good together, and because of that I felt a small fit inside my stomach wanting to separate things around me and also the two of them.

As they walk towards me they both smiled and waved. “Hey! Lulu!” Junhee greeted me with the same bright smile as always. “Oh Junhee, you’re with Kyung?” I murmured the last part because their names shouldn’t be in the same sentence, I know I’m being mean right now but … falling in love is really difficult.

I love them two of them but not as equal as before. I grew up with Junhee and Kyungsoo beside me, I always love them equally before, but well like what I said it changed because of love. I don’t like Kyungsoo with Junhee and vice versa, but I’m fine with me being positioned between them, with that I can do skinships secretly with Kyungsoo and not being awkward with Junhee, but of course it’s impossible because ever since we’re kids we already agreed that no matter what happens, Kyungsoo will be always in the middle.

“Yes, well you just left me earlier, I was freaked out you know! You’re mean hyung.” Kyungsoo murmured before wagging his small finger in front of me, another action that makes me want to just hug the life out of him. “I … er yeah sorry about that.” I apologized before turning to Junhee. “Hey Jun, it’s valentines today, you’re going to receive tons and tons of choco again, share it with us okay!” I grinned after Junhee nodded. “Of course!” She beamed.

The door opened once again and the students scrambled towards their seats, the teacher entered and the class begun.

Lunch finally started, students were running out from the classroom to either eat lunch or confess since its already valentines and that’s what I’m going to do. Every lunch, Junhee is out to go to her club meetings, which only means that I have Kyungsoo all by myself in that time.

I turned to Kyungsoo and saw him packing his things, Junhee had already left the room. “Kyung!” I shouted. “Yes hyung?” He asked before standing up. “Buy me bread and meet me in the back of the school, the one where we always stay to wait for Junhee, the one with the huge tree.” I said, he nodded before he left with a nervous smile on his face. “Luhan, this will end quickly … I wish.” I murmured.

Why do I feel that Kyungsoo’s so nervous today? Maybe.. just maybe … maybe he likes me too? … I smiled at that thought. I took the flowers and chocolate, I will confess to him there.

Ten minutes had passed and I’m already here in the site. I was staring at the only entrance of the place, waiting for that silhouette of his. After a few seconds I saw a shadow slowly moving towards from my place. I froze right on the spot, what will Kyungsoo say after this? How will Kyungsoo react? Will kyungsoo hate me? Will he love me back? Various kinds of questions popped at the same time inside my head, and most of them are negative questions. I shook my head and hid the gifts behind me.

I saw Kyungsoo holding the breads by hugging it. “Ahh hyung, you’re here!” He shouted before running towards me. “Ahh h-hey ..” I replied, a bit shaky.

“Here’s your bread hyung!” He held the bread that I requested, but because I’m holding my gifts, I didn’t took it. “Hold it for me first … uhh ..” I murmured before almost shoving the flowers and chocolate to him. Kyungsoo furrowed his brows as he stares at the flowers and chocolate. “What is this hyung?” He asked. “Flowers … and c-chocolates.” I replied.

“I know … but what for?” He asked me again.

“It’s … v-valentines today.” I whispered back.

A breeze passed us, Kyungsoo was in deep thought, I can see it because he’s tapping his chin with his finger. A few seconds more before he finally snapped back to reality and took the flowers and chocolates in my hand. “You’re great hyung! I knew it, you know everything! And you’re a genius!” He suddenly shouted.

“What?” Okay what just had happened? I looked at Kyungsoo who was smiling at the gifts he just took from me. “Thank you hyung! You’re really nice, now I can confess to her!” He suddenly beamed, flashed out that smile that almost killed me. “What …” I’m slowly losing my focus right now. “You gave me these so that I can confess to her right? You’re a really nice hyung, hyung!” As the sun continues to shine bright, Kyungsoo shined too. That shine, that gorgeous glimmer around Kyungsoo was painfully breathtaking. I love Kyungsoo, I know it’s wrong to love someone with the same gender, but I love him, but … seeing him so happy like this and especially that the reason of it is not me is truly painful.

My hands fell to my side as I stare at his figure running away from me. That angel has someone he loves, and it’s not me, and will never be me.

I ignored the rest of my class and head towards my house. My parents were shocked to see me not smiling like always and skipped my classes but they didn’t asked things, they just asked if I’m okay which I answered a lie of “Yes I’m … really okay.”

I flopped myself down to the bed, head first. Where did I got the idea to buy things for Kyungsoo? Am I reading too many fluff fanfics these days? That’s really preposterous … a completely idiotic act of mine. I should’ve never bought those stuff … I should’ve just killed these feelings slowly, I should’ve stopped myself from even admitting that I love him. I’m a fool … a big big fool.

I felt tears drenching the pillow, my breathing started to become really hard so I turned around and stare at the ceiling in front of me. I placed my hand on my eyes as tears continue to fall, I’ve never felt so depressed like this, this is so not me. “Kyungsoo … you made me like this, and I’m so … hating it.”

My phone rung from my bag, I dried my tears quickly with the sheets and took my phone out of the bag. It was Junhee calling me. I fixed myself first before answering it.

“Hey, Lulu where did you go?” She asked me.

“I’m inside my room right now, I’m not feeling that good.” I murmured as a hick escaped my lips.

“Are you crying right now?” She asked me, and I can really hear that she’s concerned about me.

“No, so … what’s up?” I asked her, slowly regaining my happy attitude despite it being so fake.

“Well … someone confessed to me.” I hear her whispered.

“Uh huh?” I replied with a tone of uninterested.

“Well … it was Kyungsoo.” My eyes doubled its size as my world slowly crumbles down to my feet. My hand was shaking really violently, I … I never thought that Kyungsoo would really confess to someone … and more shocking that it’s Junhee he confessed to.

“What should I do?” She asked me. What should I do … that question rung again and again inside my head.

“D-do you like him too?” I asked her, voice was a bit shaking.

“Y-yes … “With that answer my dreams finally stopped and so as my world.

“T-then go out with him!” A lie … a painful lie.

I don’t know what to do anymore, as much as I wanted to stop them I can’t, I can’t hinder two people’s happiness. “But, what about you?” She asked me. If I’m going to be selfish, I would really stop her, but I can’t … Kyungsoo’s too precious for me to let him suffer heartache. “What about me?”

“Well … you know, we might go to dates and things … “There’s uncertainty in her voice, it makes me guilty. “It’s okay … you guys can enjoy yourselves just don’t completely forget me okay!”

With that we both hung up, I let the phone on my hand fall on the bed, it bounced off of the bed towards the floor. I can’t do anything anymore, they both love each other and I can’t destroy it.

“Kyungsoo will be happy, that’s what more important here, Luhan … you should smile again.” I tried to encourage myself but it didn’t help even a bit. “How can smile in this kind of pain?”

Valentine’s Day, Febuary 14 2013, the day for people to be couples, a new start for love, but in this day I lost three things, One, my friends, two, my love and three, my smile.

“I love you Kyungsoo … and because of that, I’ll do my best to forget this feeling of love for you.”