It’s time.

He looks at his bags in the corner of his room. All of his belongings are already packed. His mother makes sure that he does not leave anything.

Two years is a long period of time. Two years alone. Two years without the presence of his family, best friends, brothers from another mother. Two years without her.

Can I bear it?

Sure you can! You are Jung Yong Hwa. You’re a guy. And guys should be strong!

Then he looks at himself in the mirror. He died his hair back to black. He cut it neatly. The kind of hair cut that will suit military life.

He sighs.

News are already out there, that he will depart to fulfill his military duty at 4pm today. But he has not told her yet. He needs to do it just right before his departure. Or else, he will not want to go.

A lot of things have happened for the past six years. Promises are made between them. Dreams are shared and came true. Careers are achieved.

But not feelings. Years ago, they chose to keep their feelings to themselves. It was never been told, but somehow they know. He knows that his feelings are still there even until today.

The only thing that he needs to do right now is tell her.

He then grabs his bags and walks out of the room. His families are all there in the living room, including his childhood best friends and his CNBLUE brothers. He sees Jungshin’s eyes got red and swollen.

“Ya! It’s not that I’m going to die over there!” He taps Jungshin’s shoulder before giving him a brotherly hug. “Take care, okay?”

“You, too, Hyung.” Said Jungshin. He’s trying not to sob.

“Jonghyun-ah, it’s gonna be your turn soon. So be prepared!” He chuckles and hugs him. “After I left, you are the oldest one. Take care of everybody. Do your job well.”

“Ne, Hyung. You can trust me.” Jonghyun nodded.

“And this boy!” He turns to Minhyuk who seems upset, “Can I ask for your help before I go?”

“What is it, Hyung?” Minhyuk asks.

“I need you to give her this.” He pulls out a white envelope from his pocket. He can see his hand trembles as he gives the letter to Minhyuk. His eyes start to get watery but he holds it. He needs to be brave. He needs to look brave.

“Geundae.. waeyo? Why don’t you give her yourself? There’s still time.”

“No. It’s better this way.” He smiles.

Before he goes with the military officers, he makes sure that he has hugged everybody and promises them that he will take care of himself, stay healthy, and most importantly, he will come back to them.

I will come back to you.

He jumps into the jeep that picks him up at his house. The military officers really do not want to waste any time, so once he closes his door, the jeep starts to move away. He gives them one last wave before the sight of them is lost in the corner of the road.

I’ll be back in two years. Please wait for me.

*

 She has been staring at the envelope for almost one hour. It is still closed. She does not even dare to touch it.

 Minhyuk gave it to her this afternoon. It was just right after she watched the news reporting that Jung Yong Hwa has left to fulfill his military duty. The camera showed the car that moved away.

 She felt betrayed, at that time. They have been close friends for years and he does not even care to tell her that he is leaving today.

 When she was about to cry, Minhyuk came knocking on her door and delivered a letter. From Jung Yong Hwa. The exact letter that is now lying on her desk and waiting to be read.

 She sighs. Should she read it now?

 And before she knows it, her hand already reaches for the envelope and opens the seal. She immediately recognizes his handwriting.

 To: Seo Joo Hyun

            I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you that I’m leaving today. It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s because I can’t. I’m afraid that if I see you before I go, I will not want to leave. I hope you understand.

            You see, I’ll be gone for 2 years. It’s a pretty long time, since I will not be able to contact anyone that easily. But you will visit me during those times, won’t you? Kekeke.. Please don’t forget to bring me ma shakes with apples and banana when you come visit me ^^

            Hyunnie, there is another thing that I want to tell you.

            I know I should have told you this since a long time ago. I should’ve told you personally, too. But revealing feelings is not my best traits. I’d rather write a thousand love songs to tell you how deep my feeling is. Singing them to you is better than only telling it. I’m sorry that I’m not brave enough.

            After all this years, I have made love songs while thinking of you. Maybe you didn’t realize it when you listen to our album because I have never told you that they were all about you. But please believe me when I say those are my true feelings.

            I love you, Seo Joo Hyun.

            I have loved you since the moment you wrapped your blanket over me at the MBC Lobby. I love you even more when you sang Love Light to me at Kwanghwado. That day, I saw the real you. That day, I fell more in love with you. And that feeling has not gone away even until today. It only grows stronger.

            I’m sorry that I never tell you about it. You know how difficult it is to keep a relationship in our world. I just don’t want things to go bad between us and I will lose you forever.

            I don’t know what your feeling is towards me. But if you feel the same way, please wait for me. Please wait patiently for two years. I promise you that I will come back. I will come back just for you.

Sincerely yours,

Jung Yong Hwa