As Long As You Love Me
As Long As You Love Me ♥
a/n : for mood, listen :)
we're under pressure, seven million people
in the world try to fit in,
keep it together, smile on your face
even though your heart is frowning.
♦♦♦
[
I can't help but crying as soon as he proposed me to get married. The same guy, who I met 3 years ago, when I thought he was too young for me, has grown up, to become someone who is ready to get married.
I still remember clearly how it was back then when we first met.
"Noona, can you dress my hair?" He asked, right after he stepped into my classroom. "It's Oh Sehun!" One of my friend yelled. I didn't know who he was but he had a good look even back then. He was tall, his hair was long and black. It was a bit messy, because his long hair closed some parts of his –irresistibly– handsome face. But still, his smile shown up brighter than the Sun.
"Sure," I accepted. He smiled. "T-thank you," He stuttered. "No problem, you may come to my house this evening." I handed him a sticky note written my address on it. "Oh, okay, will do. Wait for me, okay, noona?" His eyes shone as reflection from the sunlight. I nodded. He then flashed a smile for me and then walked out.
"Oh my goodness, you just invited a freakin hot guy home!" My friend, Carly said. "Nah, he is just a customer," I replied. "But, he called you noona." She added. "Maybe she knows I'm older than him?" I said. "That proves that he actually knows about you. Or even better, he knew some stuffs about you! How lucky!" She patted my shoulder.
"What makes him so special?" I cocked my shoulder. "What on Earth did you just say? He is a y god. You're blind! He is a master of study. He is the captain of school basketball squad. He is perfect! and plus, I heard he got recruited into SM Intertainment!" She explained. "Oh, but no. My type is always a guy older than me." I said. "Whatever! You're not likely to reject him if he propose you to be his girlfriend! He is irresistible!"
"Hi noona!" Someone catched my shoulder from behind when I was about to unlock my gate. I turned around and discovered the guy Carly said "hot". "Eh, Hi," I replied. "So you're ready?" I asked him. "I am if you are," He replied, calmly. "If so, okay. Come in," I invited him inside. "Have a seat first," I pointed at the couch before I was off to kitchen to prepare some tea. As I done, I walked to the living room where he sat with the tea. "You musn't burden yourself," He said. "Don't hesitate. I've been taught to treat guest this way," I smiled. "Thank you," He said and took a sip of the tea I made.
He wandered around my room while I prepared the hairdressing tools. He then took a picture and stared at it for quite a long moment. "Noona, who is he?" He asked. I turned around and saw him holding a frame of my picture with my ex-boyfriend. "Nobody, just somebody I wish I wouldn't know," I replied. "Oh, I understand," He said. I let out a sigh of relief right before he started to ask me questions. "Why did you guys break up? He looks quite handsome," He asked. "He.... passed away," I said. All of sudden, I cried. I missed him. He was somebody I spent time with for almost the rest of my life. He walked to me and hugged me. "Noona, let him rest in peace up there. He won't if you don't let him go," He whispered. "Thank you," I said. "It's nothing," He replied.
-
"Choose any which you think suits well on you," I handed him a pack of magazines. "It's hard to choose," He whined. "So?" I looked at him. "What do you think?" He asked. "Maybe, blonde." I suggested. "Well, I agree," He said. "Oh okay then let's start?" I asked. "Okay."
I trimmed the bottom part of his hair. The thicker part I left on top. Then, I brought him into the bathroom to wet his hair. I put a towel on his shoulder. Then, I grabbed a shampoo and rinsed it on his hair. Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands holding my hands. I let off my hands in an instance. "Why?" He asked while tilting his head, facing my face. "Why did you hold my hands?" I asked him. "Noona, I like you," He said while his eyes looked right into my eyes. "But.. we just met," I said. "I knew you for a long time already," He replied. "Accept me, please?" He whined. "I want to feel your magical hand doing my hair for the rest of my life," He said. "I just love you,"
That was how we're now happily living in a wonderful relationship. Until this tragic words came out of my doctor's mouth, "You just have 5 months to live in predict," I didn't know what to do with my brain cancer. It's just getting worst all the time. My hair starts to fall off one by one. Though, Sehun is always by my side. He always put on snowcap whenever he wanted us to walk out anywhere like we used to do when I hasn't living permanently in the ward yet.
As time passed by, a longer sentence came out of my doctor's mouth.
"I'm sorry but her brain cancer has reached the stage IV," he said. "All we can do is just to pray for her safety. Our hospital no longer could rehabiliate her. She can either stay here or return home. Never let her expect death. Don't let her spirits gone. Her desire to live on is strong. But her body isn't,"
♦♦♦♦
but hey now, you know girl, we both know
it's a cruel world but I will take my chances...
[ oh sehun ]
"Please," I plead. I have to marry her. I want us to be like the other couples do. I want her to be called as "Mrs. Oh". That's all I want. At least she does live her to the fullest. She does marry like other girls should. "I do," she replied. I reached to her closer and cupped her face. Right before I could send a kiss on her lips, someone pushed me away from her. "You bastard!"
"Yeobo, don't start a fight here,"
He came back with two cups of bubble teas in his hand. He handed him mine, I couldn't refuse my favorite drink anyhow. "What makes you so confident to marry my daughter?" He asked. "Love," I replied simply in the middle of sipping my drink. "I can't trust you," He said. "You look too young enough to marry someone disable like her," He added. I shook my head in disagree. "You know, when you weren't here with your wife, I'm the person who came and visit her every single day," I said. "She just has a few days left. She is getting worst. If you marry her and at the last moment when she becomes too sick, you leave her, it just makes her life ends in misery," He said. "No. I'll stay until one day she leaves me."
He shed tears in the middle of our conversation. I can see his sincerity. I can feel his love towards his one and only daughter. "I never thought she would get infected by a disease no one in my family has ever gotten," He said. "She is pretty. She is lovable, adorable. She doesn't deserve this kind of reality. I wish I can move it into myself. It's better if I die instead of her. She has a long way to go yet," He said. "Sehun, I know you really love my daughter. But I can't let you marry her. She is going to leave you someday. You know how hard it will be to forget someone who had been in a marriage with you," He said. "Please.. I beg you. All I want is to fulfill her wish to marry me. She wants our relationship ends like other couples. A marriage. Whatever happens after that, I would bear myself." I said. "Then, do as you please. As long as you would not break her heart. I can count on you," He pulled me into a warm hug. "I promise, sir,"
I ran to her room. There's no time to waste anymore. We must rewrite our love story. This story won't end with a sad ending. Everything is going to be fine. We have to make haste.
"Darling!" I shouted. She sat up in an instance. "Baby.." She smiled. "Let's go. I got a lot of household chores to do." I smiled. I carried her in my arms. "Where are we going?" She asked. "A place where all your wish will come true,"
We arrived in front of the city hall a few minutes later. "Here," I whisper. "We're getting married, darling," I smiled and pecked on her forehead. "Are you.. sure?" She asked. "No." I smirk. "But baby, see what I'm wearing? Hospital clothes!" She giggled. I miss her laugh. "You're still beautiful in whatever you wear," I laughed. She ask me to put her down so we walked in hand in hand.
"Do sign here," I nodded as I hear the worker's command. I sign it, then handed her the paper. She weakly sign it but her happiness can be seen through her bright smile. "After this, you're mine only," I whisper.
♦♦♦♦
I'll be your soldier, fighting every second
of the day for your dreams girl, I'll be your hova,
you can be my destiny's child on the scene, girl
[
I am married. This is unbelievable! Nothing makes me happier than getting married with the best man I've ever met in my life. "Stop smiling," He joked. "Whatever," I replied. However, this headache is getting worst. I'm scared. Suddenly, he held my hand. "I want to have the third person in there," He pointed at my tummy. I smiled shyly. "You're so naughty." I pinched his cheek.
I rested my head on his shoulder while we were watching movies. My headache is hurtful. If it's not because of him, I would have give up and hang myself. It's unbearable. People say true love power is really strong, then they are true. If our love isn't exist, and I haven't met him, I wouldn't have him to strengthen myself up. He is such an everything to me. Brain cancer.. is a bad disease. Patients of this disease mostly died eventually. I don't want to leave him. But I am too powerless to change my destiny. Now, it is just up to the will of God. I can only pray that I can survive. I can only pray I can grow older with him. I can only pray for our love story will end with a happy ending.
"What makes you tear up?" He asked in worry. "I cried? No-no-nothing, this movie maybe." I fake a laugh. "Dear," He my hair. "Don't cry again okay?" He asked. I nodded. "Promise,"
"Let's sleep!" He jumped onto the bed. "You're childish anywhere you are," I giggled. "I'm just a secondary school kid you know!" He rolled on the bed cutely. He suddenly sat and yawned. "Aww my baby is sleepy," I pushed his head onto the pillow while I get into the bed. I put a bolster in between our bodies and turned to the opposite side. I'm shy!
"Darling!" He shouted. More to growl. "Yea?" I asked. "Come closer," He whined. "This thing wants to sleep with us too," I pointed at the bolster. "My dear, get out of the bed!" He acted like he is talking to the bolster and throw it away. I laughed. Dorky boy. He lie back on the bed and widen his hands, asking for a hug. "No!" I stuck out my tongue. "Evil wife won't get money," He said. "Here comes the spiderman to rescue his Mary Jane!" He hugged me. I buried my face in his chest. "I can smell your perfume!" I giggled. "Now what? You want more than perfume? My true body odor?" He joked.
The next morning.....
"Good morning, Mr Sunshine~" I try to wake him up. "Mr Sunshine cannot rise up if he doesn't get a kiss," He pretended to sleep while saying that. "You're gonna be late for school," I said. "Hm, I'll inform the teacher about our marriage and how I deserve a week absentees for honeymoon," He laughed. "Lazy ," I sighed. "At least I'm y,"
I took my crutches and slowly walk to the kitchen. Even though I'm sick, I know this is a responsibility for a wife to make a breakfast for her husband. I took some sausages and fry them on the stove. "Darling, you musn't be here," I heard his voice shouting. "I have to. If I dont you wont get to eat," I replied. Suddenly, He hugged me from behind. "I said no, then no," He lifted me and brought me to the couch. "Sit here. Let me do all the rest." He pecked my cheek.
This is sad. I'm not doing a job which all wives do. I want to but I can't. Oh Sehun, my love, I'm sorry for being such a wife.
♦♦♦♦
So don't stress and don't cry
we don't need no wings to fly
just take my hand
[ oh sehun ]
My phone rang so I immediately reach out for it. Ah, tomorrow is our anniversary. I always put my calendar alarm a day earlier so it can remind me to prepare gifts. Our 3rd year anniversary. I remember how the first year anniversary went like.
"Noona, tomorrow is our 1st year anniversary." I said. "Yes, I always remember that, baby," She replied. "What shall we do?" She asked. "I don't know but you'll have to give me presents," I winked. She patted my head. "Aww cute. Of course I will," She said. "What if a haircut? A new haircut?" She suggested. "That would be great! I love all the benefits of your magical hands, noona," I smiled. "Thank you," She smiled back shyly.
The next day, I went to her home and found out she prepared a special lunch for me before she cut my hair. It was my favorite omelette rice and a glass of homemade bubble tea. "Thank you noona," I hugged her. She kissed my cheek and nodded. "Come, let's cut your hair!"
She closed my eyes with a clothes cuz as she said, it was a surprise. "Faster! I can't wait!" I whined. I could her she was laughing. Eventually, after deafening silence, she put out the clothes and I saw my hair in the mirror. It was – unbelievably – awesome! "Thank you. It's beautiful!" I praised. She nodded. "I actually have something to give you." I announced. For our first anniversary, I had prepared a very special dance for her. "See."
I danced to No Other by Super Junior which was a top song that time. She teared up and I hugged her. "I love you. Let's stay till the end!" She nodded and I tilt her chin and kissed her lips.
Now it's 2013. 3rd year anniversary, what shall I do? She is too tired to get up now. I woke earlier than her lately. It's wonderful if we could go out and I'll buy a ring for her. Pity beautiful girl. I walked up to our room to wake her up. "Darling, wake up." I shook her legs. "Yea.." She whined and yawned. I handed her crutches and she walked to the bathroom. I gazed to our bed and I am about to cry when I see... There's a lot of hair on the pillow. Her hair slowly fall one by one. Her black beautiful hair. I wipe my tears and picked up the fallen hair. I won't let her spirits darken just because of this.
"Baby." She walked down slowly. There's barely any hair on her head anymore. I am too sad but I have to hold it in. I am a man. "Darling, do you know what day is today?" I asked. She looks clueless. "No.. I don't," I get surprised as I heard her answer. She isn't a person who easily forgets our anniversary. "It's our 3rd anniversary." I said, sadly. "Seriously? Oh my goodness, how I can forget it?" She giggled. "Sorry." She frowned. "It's okay," I patted her head. She coughed loudly. "You're sick?" I asked. "No, I'm just so cold. and headache." She complained. "Take a rest," I advice her. "But I just woke up." She said in a sad expression. "Baby. I'm sorry. I just couldn't bring happiness to you. I wonder why you decide to marry me." She sighed. "No, baby. You're the best thing I've ever had. You're the source of my happiness. You're the princess of my heart. Only you," I wrapped my hand around her shoulder. "I love you," We kissed.
Suddenly, she fell asleep on my shoulder. Her face was pale. I her hair and some of them left in my hand. I can't help but crying. She is getting worst. I can see it. World is too cruel for us, darling. It's our love has to be strong.
Soon as she woke up, she sat alone but there's no word comes out of . There's no significant changing of her. She is just staring to the wall wondering things I don't know. "Baby?" I sat beside her. "W-w-who are you?" She stuttered. She held my cheek. "I know you.. But I don't remember who you are," She said. I don't know if I'm truly a man anymore. I cried a lot. She forgot me. That must be the effect of her cancer. "I'm your husband, beautiful," I said, sobbing. "Really?" She asked in disbelief and suddenly hugged me. "If you are, I must be loving you so wholeheartedly." She said. Her smile is so meaningful. "Yes, you are. So am I," I whispered. She nodded.
"Darling," She called me as we lay on the bed. I turned to her. "I'm going far away soon. Don't miss me okay?" She hugged my tummy. "You're going nowhere, sweetheart. Nowhere." I faked a smile. This is not the right time to talk about this. Don't talk this way. I'm scared. "I'm serious," She smiled sweetly. "If you are, why are you smiling?" I asked jokingly. "Because I know I still could see you even though I'm far too high, too untouchable from you," she replied. "How?" I asked. "I can." She smiled.
"I will watch you forever." She said. "Don't talk this way," I said. "You won't leave me." I said. "I won't, darling. I love you," She tighten our hug. "Even though I'm going away, don't expect for me to come back. I can't confirm it. Just find someone better, okay?" She took out her hand and formed a pinky swear. "Swear," I connected it. "You must know how far I am, love is our connection. Our hearts won't let go any of us." She said. "I love you so much. Do take care of this body and this face I love to see," She added. Without realizing, my tears had been falling out unstoppably. "Baby, don't talk this way." I said. "I'm sorry if I made mistakes toward you," She said, still smiling. Her face is really pure that time. Angelic as always. "You did nothing to me besides making me happy," I replied.
I got on her body and cupped her face. I put my lips on hers and we kissed passionately. I kissed her neck all over her. "Baby.." She whined. "It's getting nearer," She said. "Don't forget me, I love you," She replied my kiss and eventually, her eyes closed slowly. My lips are still on hers. I can't let her go. I gave her a CPR but her pulse had stopped beating. "
-
I hugged her body for the last time. She will be buried soon. The person who loves to cut my hair, passed away without any hair on her head. I can't stop crying. I hugged her parents. "Thank you for your everything," Her father whispered. "May she rest in peace up there," He added. "I'll miss everything about her," I cried.
I took out my phone and see my pictures with her. She is beautiful all the time. I miss her. I miss her love. I miss her magical hands. Ain't nobody got the same angelic character as her. She is irreplacable.
-
"Oh Sehun, I will be watching you,"
♦♦♦♦
As long as you love me, we could be starving
we could be homeless, we could be broke
as long as you love me, I'll be your platinum
I'll be your silver, I'll be your gold
the end.
{ author's note. }
Finally, I finished it. Yeah. So sad yeah. Oh just to remind you again (just to avoid misunderstanding), every character in this story is OOC (OUT OF CHARACTER). everything is just my storyline ideas. don't get me wrong :)
anyway, thanks for reading. and please do not plagiarize without permission. If there is any accidental resemblance, then I'm sorry but I didn't copy so everything is just an accidence. FOR MY BAD GRAMMAR, yea there's a lot of mistakes cuz English isn't my first language.
Sequel? Thanks but no. Hahaha. Have a nice weekend and good luck in your March exam /brb sobbing over failed mathematics
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