Let time go by
그런 너 Disturbance
The day we met, the bright sun can’t peek through the crowded grey
clouds and the fog teams up with the wind whispering cool promises.
Her bright pink checks huffed full of air as she stared out into the
future, reminiscing about the past and daydreaming about the present.
I can't exactly remember what I was doing there or what led to me
getting swept away by her. I think it might have been the initial
shock of her white smile. It could have been the way the wind brushed
her light hair or the way her sweet eyes grinned when she spoke. But
thinking now, it was just, her. The flawless way she was. Perfectly
imperfect.
Sitting here I can't remember.
The shining rays of sun drifted through the blinds as a soft breeze
cooled the warm air around me. White walls contrast with the soft
earthy tone soft furniture; while my two heated hands play with one
cold ring.
Visions and feeling come rushing back.
A collage of memories comes flashing. I don't remember feeling that
way in a long time. And the funny things is, I don't know if it's
right or not. The way I felt when I saw her. Thinking, I knew that
some how it would end okay and everything would be fine.
Slipping the sliver ring in my finger I feel it again. That stupid
churning of your stomach that turns into butterflies. That sharp naggy
feeling in the bottom of your heart that would eat you from the inside
out.
We had it so good.
The grinning smiles and the defining laughs and the arm sensation of
warm hands on soft skin.
It was heaven. But I don't know where it went to hell from there.
I can't remember the last time you looked at me. I mean really looked
at me and smiled. But not just any smile, that special smile.
The one where you would throw your head back and look up to the bright
sky through your, half lidded smiling eyes, and laugh, but not just
any one grinning up at me from their glowing chocolaty brown orbs.
You.
I remember the last time I was graced with your warm embrace. It all
seems so distant now. I can still smell the sweet light scent of your
flowery perfume. I can still feel the soft fabric of your shirt, and
the way your toes would curl up when I wrapped my arms around your
warm body and the soft skin around your neck.
But then I remember you're gone.
When we stopped being so frank with each other? We would always talk
to each other, about anything. You would share your secrets and
feelings and I would share mine, all those insecurities and hopes and
dreams and wishes. We were both each other’s other half, always there.
Now, I'm no longer able to remember the last time we understood each
other.
But I can remember that one day that we were both so frustrated
with each other, tears sprung to your angelic face as we tried to
talk.
I can remember the deep gaze in your glistening eyes as you the
suddenly turned and walked out the door.
Our slowly changing attitudes are too cold, unable to grasp;
As we gradually become tired and cold to each other. I hate the
powerless me even more. I hated this side of me that was unable to
just sneak up behind you and grab you into a big hug as you would let
out a frantic chuckle as I kissed the soft creases in your neck.
We ignored each other for quite a while. Seeing who would crack first.
Then it turned into a routine. It no longer became a waiting game and
it fell into a feeling.
We started drifting and then it reached a point of no return.
You, no longer able to look straight into my eyes
You, no longer try to read my thoughts
You, no longer try to understand my sadness
Is it because we’ve exchanged too little “I Love you’s”
I was clueless initially, thought it was because I was too busy. My
job hasn't always come in between us, well at some point we were
inseparable, but when it did we had little scuffles. But those ones
always ended up in snuggling. Now it's different.
Your gradually cold attitudes during our contacts and meetings killed
me. I thought maybe there was something wrong with where we met or the
atmosphere, but you always had this far off look in your eyes. It hurt
me seeing you like that. The way your glowing orbs would turn to the
side and cloud with anything but here.
I thought that if I waited, you would come back to me, I should have
understood you, but you drifted even further away. Trying to
understand was the hardest part, because some how, because we just
couldn't. No matter how hard we tried. I stopped telling you how I
felt and you stopped understanding.
I'm standing here now and I can't see you, even where I met you. That
very place where our memories were the strongest and our love at its
fondest.
I can only see your figure in the distance as my feet stay rooted to
the ground. Salty waters streak my slack-tight jaw and words left unsaid still lingering in my mouth.
On the day where everything ended in a quick moment
After snapping out of it, I realized I was really alone
Are you really crying like a fool? Do you think it’s over?
I really can’t think of anything right now
The you.
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